Telemarketers...

Classyathome · Feb 19, 2010

Fucking telemarketers...

Here in Canada, we have "Do Not Call" list (I registered DAY 1), but most of the douchebags block their number, and call anyway - I can't do reverse check on # and call them to stop...

Last 20 minutes, 3 times I've answered phone, only to have that silence, click, and background chatter of call centre.

But nobody speaks to me.

So, the last 2 times, after I've answered and heard that delay while the tm picks up their next call, I've screamed, LOUDLY, into the phone, and hung up.

Someone is gonna go home deaf tonite, and really curse my ass...

I'm sorta pissed - but really pleased that I've at least made myself heard (so to speak).

Phone company sez too bad - I should pay extra for caller ID - I like my idea better, and I save $6 per month.

So, if any of my IC brothers or sisters are teledouches, and get yelled at, get another job. Calling me at suppertime will get you bleeding ears.

SoCaliSmoker · Feb 19, 2010

Ring....

Ring......

Ring....

(I'm looking at the damn phone)

Ring....

Ring....

(Against my better judgement I decide to pick up the number that I do not recognize)

"HELLO"

(pause on the line for 4 seconds, then a computerized HUMAN voice comes on)

"HI. Would you like to know how you could potentially make thousands of dollars a day by just using your everyday voicemail feature on your phone? If you're interested in this opportunity my name is Robert (it has a name - LOL), please call me back at blah, blah, blah...."

And then I want to break the first thing I see!!! DAMN YOU TELEMARKETERS AND YOU DIGITAL-HUMAN TELEMARKETERS!!!!!!!!!

:wallbash:

hippie_lettuce · Feb 20, 2010

LOL Now when my dad picks up the phone and it's a telemarketer, he starts talking to them in a made up language that sounds angry. It always works and gives everyone a good laugh.

Classyathome · Feb 20, 2010

hippie_lettuce said:
LOL Now when my dad picks up the phone and it's a telemarketer, he starts talking to them in a made up language that sounds angry. It always works and gives everyone a good laugh.

My sons do that - they ask nonsensical questions, then start mooing and barking into the phone...

One teledouche called back twice, and menaced my son with claims of stabbing him, and raping my wife.

The second time, I took the phone, laffed out loud, then told him to come and get me if he was so tough...

Needless to say, he never did...

And most of them do not speak english, or a reasonable facsimile thereof...

bongasaurus · Feb 20, 2010

seems like theyre getting worse too

i like to just constantly answer no...

whiterabbit9 · Feb 20, 2010

smoke a joint

some things you can't do anything about it

Snagglepuss · Feb 20, 2010

I can't stand telemarketer calls ...At and T in the usa is the worst ,they called 10 times in 1 day to sell DSL service ..So i got the call waiting ,caller id package..then got phoneytray dialup "free download",,set it to zapp call..with one of may different messages...number disconnected..call did not go through ,,or my favorite ...YOu Shall not PAss!!! from the movies....

SuperSizeMe · Feb 20, 2010

That "No-Call" list may as well be a "Please Fuck with Me" list...

daydreamer · Feb 20, 2010

if it's a real person and not a recording, just say you lost your job and have no money then hang up the phone. of course, if you have an answering machine, don't ever answer the phone. just call back tghe folks ya care to speak with

whiterabbit9 · Feb 20, 2010

if you think it's bad getting their calls

imagine how they feel calling

I did it for a little bit once, couldn't keep up with the calling at supper time disturbing folks after their day at work

humble1 · Feb 20, 2010

i get pornographic on their ass!

"unhhhhhh.....unhhhhh....unhhhhhh"
.....
"hello, my name is thomas (dude, i hear the accent, your name is rajneesh!)"
...
"that's right you stupid cumslave, worship at the altar of my hanging hairy ballsack!"
..
"perhaps this is not a good time for you, sir, i will callback....."
.
"you better call back, i'm not getting any harder than this. you make me so hot when you call; every time i want to coat your throat with my sweet thick love nectar"
.
click

steppinRazor · Feb 20, 2010

i dotn use a land line, only cell, so caller id is pretty much a given.

i have the same problem tho, only difference is they arent telemarketers they're debt collectors. if i accidently answer for what ever reason i tell'm 'shit bro, get in line cuz its a long one. you'll get your money when you get it.'

i do got some good stories of dealing with the sales reps tho..
wish i could remember some of the convos word for word.. 'sir i am not a moron.. sir, sir.. sir! i am not a moron. please stop using that language' - 'then get off my nuts bitch!!'

GeneticHeirloom · Feb 20, 2010

I work at a outbound call center where we call our own clients.

If you get a credit card and you don't want telemarketing calls YOU HAVE AN OPTION IN THE FIRST 30 DAYS TO CALL IN AND HAVE IT REMOVED FROM THE SYSTEM AND IT'LL NEVER BE PUT IN. <--- Ontario Canada

As well, if it's a real reputable telemarketer related to something you have most times asking to be put on the Do not call list NICELY will get you put on, BUT most people forget that it takes upto 30 DAYS before ur removed from the system and u will get called in between that time.

If it's those piece of shit telemarketers I hear about through my clients, I feel for you.

But honestly, the people are there to make money, just say no thank you and hang up the phone and you'll never have to deal with a rebuttal or jack shit cause you said no thank you, and hung up the phone.

so yea, crap telemarketers = bad karma, guys like me calling you and actually being real and nice = good karma

Stoner4Life · Feb 20, 2010

I was the worst kind of telemarketer, when I set the hook
it usually cost companies 1000s and 1000s of dollars.......

what's in blue below was found on the net, my comments
in black are much more true to the tale, I did this '85~'88.

The toner phoner scam
Know your rights when it comes to office supply fraud

Joey wrote to me about an old scam that appears to be on the rise. "I've been getting numerous calls from 'toner-phoners' lately," he explains. "You know, those shady outfits that sell toner cartridges. We have had to train anyone that could possibly answer the phones to watch out for these callers. The callers ask the model of our copier so that they can 'update their records.' Always their phone numbers come in as private."

This scam has been around for years for one good reason: It's profitable. According to the FTC, "Office supply fraud costs its victims -- large and small businesses, as well as schools, government agencies, and nonprofit institutions -- an estimated $200 million per year." And the scammers usually work just as Joey describes. The phone calls are essentially fishing for a weak link: a temp, or someone new who will give up a name the scammer can put on an invoice or, even better, agree to the shipment. According to FTC.gov/boss -- the site the FTC built to educated businesses about this fraud -- the scams go by several charming names.

The Pretender Scam pretends to be your regular supplier. By convincing you that the goods and prices are the same as you have ordered in the past, the scammer hopes you won't bring up prices, quantities, or brands but simply agree to a reorder.
This was the ruse I used to get my foot in the door from my cold call list, our standard pitch was very convincing and we assured satisfaction, hehehe....... S4L

The Gift-Horse Scam tricks an employee into accepting a gift -- a free promotional item -- with a passing reference to merchandise or services. You may receive the gift, but you will also get overpriced, unordered merchandise and an invoice for the same. The hope is that your organization will think that the employee who accepted the gift goofed and you will accept the blame and pay the invoice.
"""Again not quite explained correctly. Once I've established an initial order or two I'd get a feel for the purchasing agent; I'd tell them about an offer we're having if they buy $$$$ of supplies your boss or company will receive a 25inch color TV, then I'd lower my voice and ask them if they'd like to receive the TV instead all we need is an address & someone to receive the set. These peole often moved onto the next level of scam......."""

In the Phony-Invoice Scam, the caller wants the name and address of an employee so that your organization can be shipped and billed for unordered goods or services.
"""Not explained well enough here, personally I'd approach the people who signed for or 'received' the supplies for the office and eventually get them to sign blank 'pros' or bills of lading for me, I'd fill in the dates, supplies, amounts later, the people that signed pros for me were called 'my whores', they signed blank bills of lading for incoming goods & I'd slip them $100-200. This was the ultimate scam netting big cash for no goods delivered. quite often I'd turn to my whore as we were departing and say "Hey! who paid you better this week me or your boss?" I never needed a reply as the smile told me all.... S4L"""

The real scam starts, though, with the invoices. In fact, collection is where the scammer spends the bulk of his energy. He might send many invoices, some stamped "past due." He might create a bogus collection agency to hound you, and he may even threaten legal action. It is not easier to simply pay these bills, though -- even if the scammer negotiates a lower price, which he might. Paying will likely get you targeted for additional scams. Though the scammer may appear to give up and accept return of the goods, he will likely try to charge a restocking fee.
"""we never went this far and usually by that time the 'whore' we used was discovered and fired and we no longer did biz with that entity again"""

The FTC clearly states, "If you receive supplies or bills for services you didn't order, you don't have to pay, and you don't have to return the unordered merchandise. You may treat unordered merchandise as a gift."

I needed only to tempt or dangle some $$$ in my contacts faces to get them to start down that path, I didn't need someone in power, hell no that'd be worse as they actually care about their jobs. I picked from the bottom of the barrel, I hand selected young ethnic men running the receivables dept and approach them with the promises of Mr Coffee's, VCR's, TV's, Stereo's and he got them all.

I was real good at it too, if I dummied up a bill of lading I'd have Jose sign for it and the company would get almost no goods, but then he'd take two or three expensive boxes of Cross Pens and some other high end item to work and slip them into stock, if a question on that invoice came up he'd still have a few high end goods on hand from the Bill# & when the expensive goods were found from that order it would appear legit.

This might go on for months to a year before any of our large clients knew that the stockroom had a major cash flow going out.......

don't be hating on me now, I was only doing my job & although you might be rich we'd never call anyone with less than deep assed corporate pockets and we never called them during supper.

Classyathome · Feb 20, 2010

GeneticHeirloom said:
I work at a outbound call center where we call our own clients.

If you get a credit card and you don't want telemarketing calls YOU HAVE AN OPTION IN THE FIRST 30 DAYS TO CALL IN AND HAVE IT REMOVED FROM THE SYSTEM AND IT'LL NEVER BE PUT IN. <--- Ontario Canada

As well, if it's a real reputable telemarketer related to something you have most times asking to be put on the Do not call list NICELY will get you put on, BUT most people forget that it takes upto 30 DAYS before ur removed from the system and u will get called in between that time.

If it's those piece of shit telemarketers I hear about through my clients, I feel for you.

But honestly, the people are there to make money, just say no thank you and hang up the phone and you'll never have to deal with a rebuttal or jack shit cause you said no thank you, and hung up the phone.

so yea, crap telemarketers = bad karma, guys like me calling you and actually being real and nice = good karma

It's the POS teledouches I'm ranting about.

The ones that call ignore the Do Not Call - and feign ignorance w/ the "it takes 30 days to get thru our system" (bullshit - I registered long before that).

The ones that are calling from Paklaindesh - as soon as I ask for stupivisor, or number to call to get removed, their spotty command of english goes completely out the window, and they just hang up.

The autodialers that listen for a voice - then transfer the call many long seconds later - dammit, why should I hold for your time wasting call...

Those are the ones - here in Canada, if the law sez I can opt out, then fucking don't call me - period. If you do - no matter how "nice" you really are - I'm gonna be pissed.

It's like the JW's that knock on my door early Sat. morning - you get the door opened, and a large hairy dog (or ballsack) comes flying out at you.

desant · Feb 20, 2010

Check out some of the telemarketer pranks!

http://www.fileshost.com/download.php?id=34D225171
This one is super

desant · Feb 20, 2010

More:

http://www.fileshost.com/download.php?id=AB3000B91

SpasticGramps · Feb 20, 2010

Do Not Call List.

Or if they do get through I'll either just hang up the phone usually or depending on my mood I'll fuck with them a little bit.

Stuff that would be totally inappropriate to write here. Warming up feces in the microwave would be one of the tamer ones. :biglaugh:

Hephaestus · Feb 20, 2010

I love telemarketers... They're great entertainment...

Start off by putting them on hold for 5-10 minutes... Usually they hang up and call back at some point during that... Start over...

Then I get into this really long indepth conversation, asking all kinds of questions - generally try to drag out the call into the 20-30 minute range... Once they start pushing the purchase... Give them an old credit card #... "Oh? It's expired? Shit - guess we can't do this then, because my credit is shit - they'll never give me a replacement... And it'll take me decades to pay off that 10,000$ I owe on it"

Think I've made it into an internal do-not-call list now... Waste a few hours of a few telemarketers time - and they seem to realize that you're a lost cause with no money....

:smokeit:

makedadproud · Feb 20, 2010

When I get unwanted calls I just use the patience that I know I need to make it thru the sales pitch first. Then I calmly ask the name of the company they are calling for (sound genuinely interested in what they offer up until they give this information), then I tell them that my number is on a no call list, that I have previously told this company to not call my house, and that if they called again I would file a complaint with the FBI for harassment. Usually this works.

On a similar note, in the US if you have problems with bill collectors, get the name of the company, tell them that the call is being recorded, that it is unacceptable for them to call your house, that they may not call again, and if they do you will file a complaint with the FBI for harassment. Tell them (this is important) to "correspond by mail ONLY". They can be not only prosecuted for failing to follow these instructions, but I have heard tales of people's debt being entirely forgiven because of harassment; even entire mortgages.

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