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A Daddy’s Letter to his Little Girl About Her Future Husband

yortbogey

To Have More ... Desire Less
Veteran
Dear Cutie-Pie,

Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was “How to keep him interested.”

It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior.

And I got angry.

Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to “keep him interested.”

Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul—in that unshakeable place that isn’t rattled by rejection and loss and ego—that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)

If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you.

Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesn’t need to be keptinterested, because he knows you are interesting:

I don’t care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table—as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can’t stop looking.

I don’t care if he can’t play a bit of golf with me—as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.

I don’t care if he doesn’t follow his wallet—as long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.

I don’t care if he is strong—as long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.

I couldn’t care less how he votes—as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart.

I don’t care about the color of his skin—as long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.

I don’t care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religion—as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.

In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common:

You.

Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to “keep him interested” is to be you.

Your eternally interested guy,

Daddy
 

EllieGrows

Active member
Veteran
When reading your letter i could see that you felt angry and about the expectations placed on your daughter by society to keep her man happy especially the casual misogyny of "make me a sandwhich" "give me a blowjob" mentality. But i couldn't help see that you formed a whole list of expectations for her yourself

What if shes gay. What if she doesnt want children. What if she doesnt want to get married. What if this letter reads to her as a list of shames she has never been able to live up to? Life has many paths and we live in a day and age where women are allowed to be so many other things than mothers and wifes. Why sign her up for it at day 2?
 
B

BrnCow

I push my kids to always do better that their parents. I especially want the girls to get an education knowing that most relationships fall to the side about 85% of the time and of those that make it, many in them are not happy nor satisfied. If they are educated, they are more likely to be able to support my grandkids and have more time for them by making better money and having benefits for them. I also tell them they have to buy dad a new car and a house...so far - not even a Matchbox car or play house...lol .... yes, I'll likely never see them but it is funny watching them squirm at Xmas...
 

dddaver

Active member
Veteran
I absolutely hated either parent alluding to anything sexy or sexual, they never did that shit right? And I've heard most people say that too. My reaction was often, "Eeew!". But parents do need to do that for their kids usually.

I thought that letter uses pretty complicated language too. I think sometimes people give little kids too much credit assuming they think like adults. They don't. Kids are smart and do get shit, don't get me wrong. I just think too often people talk to little kids at an adult level. This is kind of deep for a little kid who has no idea what it's like being an adult don't you think? Maybe it's just me that needs shit dumbed down and not as long and drawn out. That's my $.02 about that letter :)
 
O

OrganicOzarks

I have all girls, and I don't agree with you at all. Both parties agreed when they got married to please the other. Unless illness, ailment, or handicap stops that this should not change. It is each others job to please the other, and they should want to do that.

I teach my girls that if you don't please him someone else will. That goes both ways. I would say the same thing to a boy if I had one.

Don't get married if you are not going to live up to your end of the bargain.
 

justpassnthru

Active member
Veteran
In as much as that open letter is touching....it must be from the 'olden daze' and needs updated. When I was in 2nd grade my dad sat in a chair and had me rebuild a 4 cylinder engine--he loosened the nuts and bolts!

Teaching someone to be more self-sufficient and self reliant, as opposed to 'needing' someone else, to be 'whole' would be a pretty 'lofty' goal. jpt
 

amanda88

Well-known member
Sperm Banks are a lot cheaper, hassle free and a turkey baster is 3.99

the above with your best friend(female) is the future of women kind

I'm not gay, but I don't mind, 30% of women kind are

and look forward to a roll ,,one day

I, not a man hater, rather like the

males in my grow room redundant unless called for

link: http://www.sciencefocus.com/feature/life/gay-genetics
 

festerous

Member
Veteran
What husband would feel so compelled to click on a “How to keep him interested.” link?
Then get Angry?
 

Andyo

Active member
Veteran
family album

family album

I told my daughter to take a good look at the extended family of any boy she was serious about
Look out for idiots,defects ect.
 

Green Squall

Active member
I told my daughter to take a good look at the extended family of any boy she was serious about
Look out for idiots,defects ect.

I know your probably just looking out for your daughter, but that is horrible advice. What if the guy of her dreams, someone who treated her well, came from a troubled family? It would be a shame for her to miss out on love because of something you told her.
 

Dropped Cat

Six Gummi Bears and Some Scotch
Veteran
The pressure on children of wealthy parents to wed well is crushing.

The pressure on children of religious parents to wed well is crushing.

Love factors into the equation at the best of times, but often children
are coached to the parent's designs.
 

dddaver

Active member
Veteran
The pressure on children of wealthy parents to wed well is crushing.

The pressure on children of religious parents to wed well is crushing.

Love factors into the equation at the best of times, but often children
are coached to the parent's designs.

Some rebel. And often end up paying for that rebellion the rest of their lives. Sad, but true.
 

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