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Weird - Wacky - Funny News

R

Robrites

Naked Man Waving American Flag Leads To Large Identity Theft Bust

Naked Man Waving American Flag Leads To Large Identity Theft Bust

Sedro Woolley, Washington– On April 13th, 2016, around 1:50 pm, Sedro Woolley Officers responded to a welfare check in the area of West Nelson and Curtis Street in Sedro Woolley.

According to a probable cause affidavit, obtained by SkagitBreaking.com, a SKAT bus driver had reported seeing an Asian male walking into traffic. The driver told dispatchers that the man was carrying an American Flag and was nude from the waist down. Officers checked the area but were unable to find the male.

Around 2:30 pm, Officers were again dispatched to the 1200 block of Curtis Street near the intersection with West Nelson Street for reports of a Naked Asian male waving an American Flag.

Arriving Officers found the male, later tentatively Identified as Gui Wang, crouched inside his open garage near a 2016 Ford Fusion Sedan with Oregon Plates. Mr. Wang was only wearing a button down shirt and his genitals were fully exposed.

The affidavit says Mr. Wang was grinding his teeth and acting very strangely. When Officers approached Mr. Wang they noted that he was walking on broken glass with his bare feet and he got down onto his knees.

Mr. Wang then advised Officers that he was the last Fukushima Nuclear Disaster Survivor and he admitted to exposing his genitals in front of his residence because he wanted to urinate outside. Mr. Wang also told Officers that he was part of the “Men in Black” and that he was President Obama’s brother.

Mr. Wang presented Officers with a small American Flag and gave them mail addressed to an address in California. Officers decided that Mr. Wang was under the influence of some sort of drug and he was transported to the hospital for an involuntary hold.
Read The REST!
 

HOPS5K

Lover of Life
Veteran
Ohio home egged more than 100 times to get new paint job

EUCLID, Ohio (AP) - An Ohio home that was pelted with eggs more than 100 times over a year will finally get a fresh finish thanks to a local painting company.

WEWS-TV reports (http://bit.ly/1Wdl6cQ ) Neubert Painting in Brook Park is planning to paint the Euclid (YOO'-klid) home. Work was scheduled to start May 4 but was postponed because of the weather.

Jason Kozan was charged in March with vandalizing the home between May 2014 and June 2015. He tells WEWS-TV he isn't responsible for the vandalism.

Neubert Painting had offered to paint the home last summer as part of its Paint it Forward program. The company was waiting for police approval because the case was under investigation. It was given the go-ahead last fall.
 

shithawk420

Well-known member
Veteran
Holy flying fuck! MIB? Obamas brother? Bath salts win again! I don't condone prohibition but holy shit this stuff has to go! Good lord
 
R

Robrites

Forest Grove police log: Drunk spouses reunited with their clothes, each other

Forest Grove police log: Drunk spouses reunited with their clothes, each other

May 1

• Police responded to a domestic disturbance over food and a separate disturbance over using a bowl to give water to a dog.

• A concerned mother called after her grown son became lethargic and started slurring his speech. The son reportedly had smoked a large amount of marijuana. He was transported to the hospital.

• A woman was lodged at the Washington County Jail after she refused to do field sobriety tests and refused to give a breath sample after her arrest for DUII.

May 2

• A caller reported finding a water bottle with yellow fluid in it and thought it might be a possible Drano bomb. Officer found the bottle contained water and discarded cigarettes.

• Police responded to a disturbance between a son and father over a cell phone.

• A man called for medical assistance after feeling an irregular heart rhythm. The man insisted on a ride to Providence St. Vincent's but was not cooperative and refused an assessment, insisting he only wanted a ride. The man was left alone after he refused all other services.

May 3

• A resident reported the theft of a pot plant from their yard.

• A citizen contacted police for advice on putting things in the roadway to slow speeders. The advice given was not to do it.

• A caller reported unknown suspects were on his roof. Police arrived and found masked trespassers on the roof – two raccoons.

May 4

• A woman called police to report that her husband was cold to the touch and likely deceased. Officers arrived and found the husband intoxicated and asleep. The woman had also been drinking.

• A woman was banned from returning to a local establishment after she removed a gutter downspout from the structure.

• Officers assisted sheriff's deputies in Gaston on a person wanting to commit suicide. Deputies took the person into protective custody.

May 5

• A man reported that his son sent money to another country in order to receive a government grant and was now out the money after learning it was a scam.

• A caller reported he was lost and intoxicated. Having recently moved from out of state, he did not know how to get home. An officer found the man's home and gave him a courtesy ride.

• A caller reported that a person on a bike wearing a surgeon's mask had crashed into a parked car. Someone ran to help the person then yelled "He's got a gun!" Police were unable to find anyone matching the description.

May 6

• A caller reported a man in front of a location urinating in a bag. The caller then stated the man started urinating on the sidewalk and wanted to know how to go about cleaning it up.

• A man reported the theft of his phone, Social Security card, passport, truck keys and title. The suspect is his ex-wife.

• A resident called police after an intoxicated woman wearing only a shirt was knocking at his front door. Police learned the woman was trying to get into the wrong house and helped her find the correct house. Police were later called back to the same address after a man without shoes was now knocking at the door. Police learned the man was looking for his wife and had so far only found her pants and underwear. The man was given a courtesy ride home, where spouses and clothing were reunited.
 
R

Robrites

NASA discovers new planet covered with marijuana

NASA discovers new planet covered with marijuana

NASA has announced this morning that they have discovered a planet completely covered with marijuana, a discovery that has completely taken scientists by surprise.

Planet X637Z-43, discovered using NASA’s Kepler satellite, would also allegedly be one of the very few planets potentially habitable according to NASA experts, who have detected sufficient levels of oxygen and nitrogen to support human life.

The presence of marijuana on other planets could strongly encourage future generations to take interest in space exploration, some experts believe.

“We always think young people aren’t interested by anything but it’s false. Young people love smoking pot,” explains David Charbonneau, astronomer at the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics.

“Chlorophyll concentration analyses generated by Kepler lead us to believe that the level of THC in these marijuana plants is 3000% higher than the plants found on Earth. If that doesn’t motivate young people to explore space, I don’t know what will,” admits the expert, clearly enthusiastic.

“Regardless, marijuana will without a doubt be a valuable and indispensable resource for interstellar trips. Imagine if it takes 140 years to travel from one planet to another, let’s just say it’s going to be a very long trip. You better have rolled yourself a couple of joints for the road,” he admits with humor.

http://healthcurecorner.com/nasa-discovers-new-planet-covered-with-marijuana/
 

Capt.Ahab

Feeding the ducks with a bun.
Veteran
R

Robrites

picture.php
 

Green Squall

Active member
Thai man attacked by snake that slithered up through his toilet

http://www.foxnews.com/world/2016/0...ered-up-through-his-toilet.html?intcmp=hplnws


BANGKOK – A Thai man is recovering from a bloody encounter with a 10-foot python that slithered through the plumbing of his home and latched its jaws onto his penis as he was using a squat toilet.


Attaporn Boonmakchuay was smiling as Thai television stations interviewed him in his hospital bed about the intimate intrusion, and doctors said he would recover. But photos of his blood-splattered bathroom in Chachoengsao province, east of Bangkok, were testimony to his ordeal.


The 38-year-old told Thai TV Channel 7 that he struggled to remove the snake for 30 minutes Wednesday before he managed to free himself with help from his wife and a neighbor. After his wife tied a rope around the snake, Attaporn pried open its jaws before passing out.


Emergency workers dismantled the Asian-style squat toilet, with the python still twined through it. The snake was taken away to be released back into the wild, according to an emergency responder cited by the newspaper Thai Rath.


Doctors said Attaporn, bloodied but unbowed, will recover.
"He has a really good attitude... even though his own wife and children were in shock. He's been smiling and giving interviews all day from his bed." hospital director Dr. Chutima Pincharoen said.
 
R

Robrites

Sausage-Wielding Extremists Attack Vegan Cafe In Tbilisi

Sausage-Wielding Extremists Attack Vegan Cafe In Tbilisi

A vegan cafe in the historic center of Tbilisi was forced to cancel an English-language video screening over the weekend when a group described by witnesses as far-right extremists threw meat into patrons' vegan dinners and started a brawl.

The staff at Tbilisi's Kiwi Cafe called police on the evening of May 29 after more than a dozen men carrying meat attacked restaurant customers and staff.

The clash spilled onto the street outside and neighbors joined in the brawl -- some reportedly fighting against the restaurant's staff and customers, as well as the meat eaters. Minor injuries were reported.

The attackers fled before police arrived and no arrests were made. Police briefly detained some cafe staff members for interrogation.
 

stoned-trout

if it smells like fish
Veteran
ha ha I have always wanted to chuck a roast in the locan vegan place..all their customers are pale looking and could use the meat ....lol....yeehaw
 

atk7

Active member
ha ha I have always wanted to chuck a roast in the locan vegan place..all their customers are pale looking and could use the meat ....lol....yeehaw

That would be funny ..but unfortunately a waste of good food they would probably just take it out and give it a burial or creamate it ...either way a sad end to a good roast. :biggrin:
 
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