what do U buy a man who is dieing???

yortbogey · Oct 21, 2011

OK.... little background....I was luck enuff too marry Canadian...
a wonderful woman that has since forever changed my life...
BLESSED I am....
Over time i have become deeeper and deeeper involved w/ her family..... so fast~forward.... years..... and Now together....
I am helping my wife face the long miserable wasting away....and inevitable DEATH.....of a family member
See her father has stage 3 terminal Cancer in 3 area's of his body... Brain, lung, and back.....he's been fighting a losing battle for over 18 months now...... and has withered away now to almost nothing....barley ABLE to function more than a few hours aday....
Lost more than 100 lbs over that time... and had to have shrunk by @ least 4 inch's in height and stature....old age has gripped him and will not let go...

So as the inevitable approaches and the family ralleys for the last few gatherings and decisions that need to be made....while yet finding the time to embrace god and family together.....the lot of them is unclear in direction and "what next".....
IT's almost like they just hurry up... and wait to see when he will die....

So as the holidays approach and the usual chaos ensues.....
I ask U what kinda gift does a dieing man need other than new life...or hope.... and that can't be bought.....{we tried Vegan juice diets and Hyperbaric medicine, chemo and the lot of it}

which puts me at a loss... for the holidaze.....
what do U gift a 80+ year old dieing man????????????

Useful Idiot · Oct 21, 2011

horrible situation.I would try to help him live. Let me explain, I have learned that close family members are thinking more about a loved one dying,than trying to help them live a bit while they are still alive. Maybe there is a favorite place he liked to go,favorite meals, some trips to the park,i'm grasping at straws,but you understand.My heart goes out to you and yours. Cancer is not nice,I lost two Aunts due to breast cancer,one was like my second mom growin up.Then almost lost my mom to the same cancer. Hope you find a way to help him.

paladin420 · Oct 21, 2011

You give him more of what you all ready hav Sir..Your Love And Respect...Give Him the certain knowledge that his life will go on in his children..That You will do what you can to love and protect them after he is gone...

On another note Sir..Hav try to him take some RS oil caps or edibles...I hav several T patients..They want to kick ther Drs in the nutz for not being on board with somethin that helps give 'Good Days'.....ur pal

stonedar · Oct 21, 2011

I can tell you from personal experience they will appreciate you spending time with them more than anything else.

yortbogey · Oct 21, 2011

yes...of course we spend as much time as available..... we live 4 hrz apart....
I'm bringing canna cookies to him this very weekend for the first time in he's life....
and we have decided to focus on the present ....not the what if / when....

BUT still at a loss for gift idea's..... don 't wanna seem trivial w/ just junky disposable giftz....and cant focus on any long term giftz...... but the bathrobe and house slipperz just seems so lack of thought and void of feeling.....

my Quagmyer.....

Headbandf1 · Oct 21, 2011

Find the one toy from his childhood that he never got. Then find it on ebay. It will take his mind back to happier times and I've seen patients outlook improve - dont know why.

CannaBunkerMan · Oct 21, 2011

Give him your time. It's the one thing he doesn't have enough of.

SeaMaiden · Oct 21, 2011

stonedar said:
I can tell you from personal experience they will appreciate you spending time with them more than anything else.

This, and audio books. My husband just got me a Vizio Tablet in preparation for a surgery and what will be a protracted recovery. I LOVE THIS THING!!!!! Ebooks, browsing, I can watch movies, it's already made my GPS obsolete, it takes voice commands and can talk to me. Did everything right out of the box, too. A movie service and the audiobook subscription could serve him well.

You can go with the Vizio or a Nook. The Vizio was $250+ tax at Costco.

lost in a sea · Oct 21, 2011

i dont think any possession is worth very much at the tail end of life,,

its very hard,,, anything that will make him more comfortable or functional that he doesnt have,, and just love like usual i guess,,

festivus · Oct 21, 2011

Brother, the only thing you and your family can give him that matters is peace of mind. I've had experience with the final days of a terminal lung cancer patient...he suffered from nightmares of racing around and trying to finish all the work before the end.

If he knows you guys are happy and thriving, it will be one less burden on his mind.

yortbogey · Oct 21, 2011

thankz folkz ... I really appreciate the insightful messages....
they will give me idea's and considerations as we go visit this weekend......blessedBE
but such a challenge to find the right piece of??? to express the feeling and admiration for such a great man.....
20yrz Canadian air force...... 20 yrz FAR north Lumber foreman
and 20yrz in the service of god.....he's a 7th day Adventist pastor ...highly regarded in BC.
but hes suffering is overwhelmingly intense.... and the family tryz in every way to over compensate.....
but as X-mas approaches...how does one purchase material crap for a man in such dismal grey truth...
I would surly give him all my time.... if only to lesson he's burden and fear... but there has got to be more

paladin420 · Oct 21, 2011

Introduce Him To My friend yortbogey..I think he would like to meet him and hear His story/stories..Knights are very rare These Days Brudda..I give my Patients my stories of You All...

sso · Oct 21, 2011

lots of hookers and drugs? lol

(whats most valuable when you have no time left? your family and friends)

sneaky101 · Oct 21, 2011

It may be too late, but check out http://phoenixtears.ca/. Or google search Rick Simpsons Hemp oil. I've not known anyone personally to try it, but you never know till you try. Good luck on finding a Christmas gift.

CheifnBud2 · Oct 21, 2011

Accidental Double Post, Mods plz delete.

CheifnBud2 · Oct 21, 2011

I know pets do wonders for people with diseases/old age/mental problems.

Is he fond of dogs?

Is there someone in the family that would love to have a dog after he passes away?

Probably inconvenient and maybe the dog would just cause problems.

But when I brought my dog into the nursing home last year to visit my grandmother, i could see the faces of all the elderly people just light up.

Mabey just bring one of the family pets around to see him. Not as a present but just to see how he reacts.

Just a suggestion, best wishes upon you and your family.
:tiphat:

Jenn · Oct 21, 2011

Back in 1990 my grandpa was dying of cancer. He had his surgery and treatments and it was over. The doctor gave him 3 months to live so he came home to die with his family and under the care of hospice ( outstanding organization ) and I still remember it all like it was yesterday.

While he was still of sound mind he spoke of his younger days, the good and bad. He was a prisoner of war in Germany for a year and a half and he spoke of those terrible times. He lived a very very hard life and when I hear people say the World War 2 generation was the greatest generation of Americans ever, I think of my grandpa and I think hell ya they were...

Like most people have said " your time " is really all that is wanted at this point and I understand that isnt always easy because you must still continue on with your life. There are little things though, I remember my grandpa had heart problems and other issues before he was struck down with his cancer so as his end got closer he said one day he would really like to have some pizza and a beer because he hadnt been able to have either in many many years, so we made that happen....it was just a simple thing that brought a dying man pleasure...

Most of us know what your going through, and we wish you and yours the best.

- Jenn

Dudesome · Oct 22, 2011

buy him a cool bong that he can use and enough weed to make him forget that he's dying. Maybe he will forget to die for another 10-20 years

who knows...

Warped1 · Oct 22, 2011

Yort I read your post this morning, and I really wanted to post. I read a few other posts..paladins posts were really good, as were a few others. I waited, and I thought some more..all day I thought, and I waited some more. Now I want you.. you who knows this man as well as any other.. to ask yourself.. what would you want? What would mean the most to you?

Useful Idiot · Oct 22, 2011

sso said:
lots of hookers and drugs? lol

(whats most valuable when you have no time left? your family and friends)

I did not find that funny. And if you think for a minute ....you will not find it funny either. Although,your end quote saved ya. Much respect to ya SSO.

what do U buy a man who is dieing???

To Have More ... Desire Less

Active member

FACILITATOR

Macro-aggressor

To Have More ... Desire Less

Bent Member

Enormous Member

SeaMaiden

Lifer

STAY TOASTY MY FRIENDS!

To Have More ... Desire Less

FACILITATOR

Active member

Member

CheifnBud2

CheifnBud2

Active member

Active member

I'm a victim of fast women and slow horses

Active member