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Movies - Wish I'd Missed it!

Douglas.Curtis

Autistic Diplomat in Training
Have a movie you watched and want your time back? Saw something so stupid it made you feel dumber, just because you saw or heard it?

Post it up here. :)

I'll start with

Open Water
Absolutely a complete waste of time. Zero interesting dialogue makes up a 2 hour, poorly written drama. I spent the entire film waiting for some shred of redemption, only to watch the guy get eaten and the girl drown herself.

Screw the price of admission, I want my 2hrs back. :tiphat:
 

armedoldhippy

Well-known member
Veteran
all i saw was the previews, and it ruined my year. "ticks", which you might guess was about giant ticks (and you would be correct) looked horrifying. i despise ticks, having picked over 150 off of me one weekend of turkey hunting years ago...:moon:
 

Mick

Member
Veteran
2001: A Space Odyssey.
Never been so bored and disappointed with a movie in my life. I watched it again years later and it was worse, if that's possible.
 

madson

Active member
haha u saw Open Water right before u started this thread am i right? there are a lot of bad movies but the most i can't remember. but i do remember Open Water. it's really awful. :D
felt asleep in cinema while Spiderman 3, don't feel these films
 

BadTicket

ØG T®ipL3 ØG³
Moderator
Veteran
Lots of bad movies out there, usually I just turn off dem shits half way if they start bad and don't seem to pick up. Then forget about em, no big deal..

But there's a couple worth mentioning, like Blues Brothers 2000. I was a huge fan of the original movie. It had a decent plot, good music that fit the scenes, cameos, car chase stuff with cop vehicles flying around, John Belushi, crazy ass Carrie Fisher, Blues mobile, Illinois nazis.. Good stuff!
BB2000 had no plot, but then it also ruined the plot of the original movie. They had 20 years to make the sequel, but the only reason they made it was to make money. It had music, but way too much of it, and most of it didn't fit. No Belushi, but they brought in a kid, cause bringing in a kid always helps, even if the kid has no reason for being there. No Illinois nazis, but it had a zombie voodoo queen and CGI riders of the storm, cause u know, a Blues Brothers movie needs stuff like that. That movie pissed me off at first, but these days I just pretend it never happened, so that's fine. BTW, there's a tip for all those Star Wars fans who say Disney ruined their childhood. First of all, if a shitty movie sequel is enough to "ruin your childhood", well motherfucker, count your lucky stars, you got off easy in life. Then pretend them shits never happened instead of paying to see the movies four times in the theaters, then buying the blurays and toys and thing. Then writing blogs and making youtube videos about the shit movies detailing how bad they were.
NO! IT. NEVER. HAPPENED!

'The Hobbit'
I saw this in the theater against my wishes. 2nd or 3rd date with a chick who was a big LOTR and Tolkien fan. And also a Peter Jackson fan girl at that.. That type of annoying fan that can't see how bad something is due to the fandom. If Peter Jackson pooped on her shoe, she'd just be happy to see Peter Jackson, nevermind the crap. I'm the type of dude who has no problem pointing out flaws and making sarcastic remarks about stuff when I see it. Online on a weed forum or a crowded movie theater, makes no difference.. Yea, that was the last time I ever saw her. That Hobbit movie was childish, painfully dull, boring, stupid.. Bad, really really bad. And she wanted to talk about it afterwards. Never went to the movies for a date thing after that. On a positive note, didn't pay for the tickets cause she had some freebies. But damn that movie was hard to sit through. Just bad.

And I'm not done yet because Michael Bay made 'Pearl Harbor' and totally missed the point. I like war movies, real stuff or fictional. Like 'Saving private Ryan', a made up story with World War 2 as a backdrop. If you look beyond the USA hero stuff and Hollywood fluff, it's a well made movie that has some real shit in it. Altering history to fit a movie doesn't bother me if it's stuff like how the Normandy landings was done in SPR. Sure they cut corners and made it look like Tom Hanks plowed through German lines in 20-30 minutes, but that wasn't the point of the movie, so fine, I'll look the other way.

However, if you make a movie about Pearl Harbor, and you call the movie 'Pearl Harbor', you'd think it's a movie about the Japanese surprise attack on Pearl Harbor? Well you'd be wrong, or you're Mike Bay, in which case the movie is a 3 hour shit fest about three not very likable protagonists, and their triangle love story, which alters history for "dramatic purposes", cause apparently a real life tragedy where something like 2500 people lost their lives and led to the US joining World War 2 isn't at all dramatic compared to said 3-way love story and one of our heroes, a father to be, dying in the end.. Sigh.

And just to hammer home how much they missed the point when making 'Pearl Harbor', they invited actual Pearl Harbor survivors and war veterans to the premiere thinking nothing can go wrong.. Fucking Hollywood mang.

That's like making 'Schindler's List' a movie about the struggles of a metro-sexual business man with the holocaust as a backdrop. You just don't do shit like that.

..Unless you're Hollywood guy Mike Bay, then anything is possible..
:tumbleweed:

So yea, that pissed me off, mang. Fucking hell.
tumblr_inline_msifv6W6Dq1qz4rgp.gif
 

Douglas.Curtis

Autistic Diplomat in Training
It's been over a decade since I saw Open Water. It was **that** bad of an experience, I still remember it to this day. I believe my main motivation is to prevent others from the same trauma. lol

The thread was inspired by the other thread going, regarding great movies. :) Awesome contributions everyone, it's always nice to have signs pointing out land mines. lol
 

shithawk420

Well-known member
Veteran
Blues Brothers is one of my all time favorites BadTicket.i was born in Joliet.my father did 2 years in that exact same prison before it shut down.

I'm not crazy about the second one but at least we got to see all those stars before they died.james has been dead for a long time.at least they paid a kind of tribute to him and Callaway.lets be honest here.how could you even come close to the original?
 

kaochiu

Well-known member
Veteran
Salo, Or the 120 Days of Sodom, by Pier Paolo Pasolini. I'm not saying is a bad movie, and definitely not a boring movie, but I've made two mistakes when I saw it: First was being 15 years old, the second was having meatballs in tomato sauce for dinner just before. Decades later, I'm not strong enough to go through that experience again.
 

White Beard

Active member
Salo is one of the most difficult movies I ever tried to watch. NOT for the gentle-hearted or weak-stomached.

Any survivor of real abuse should miss it entirely: this thing will trigger *anybody*

Pearl Harbor is genuinely a seriously crappy movie: the basically first-rate effects are afterthoughts, and the bulk of the movie is watching Ben Affleck trying to emote, which he’s very bad at...and I typically *like* historically based war movies (Apocalypse Now (Redux is worth the repurchase), the Longest Day, Midway, Full Metal Jacket, Patton...).

Not really a fan of Saving Private Ryan: partly because I’m not a fan of Tom Hanks as an actor, partly because it was a weak showing after the truly astounding Band of Brothers, despite some stylistic similarities.

Can’t agree on the three Hobbit movies: they ‘corrected’ my main complaints about The Hobbit as a book. It was conceived as a children’s book, and hinted at things I found far more interesting that under pinned and illuminated the larger context of LOTR. Then, too, I was a teenager when I read it, and I’d been reading college-level for ten years when I got to it (thank you, Mom, for teaching me to read when I was three!) Looking forward to watching them again, all in a row.

I suggest Klute for a really bad movie. I must have watched it three or four times trying to figure it out before I decided the fault was with the film, and stopped trying.

The Sword and The Sorcerer was pointless, bloody, and awful (definitely do not watch it on acid) - but not as bad as Horror Planet... and of course the entirely flaccid Flesh Gordon
 

AgentPothead

Just this guy, ya know?
Inception. That was such a trash movie and people treated it like it was the second coming or some shit. [morbo]DREAMS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY. [/morbo]
 

shithawk420

Well-known member
Veteran
Inception. That was such a trash movie and people treated it like it was the second coming or some shit. [morbo]DREAMS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY. [/morbo]

I tried watching it 3 times.maybe it's cause I was high and drunk but I fell asleep 20 minutes every time.i still need to watch interstellar.

While we are on the subject I refuse to watch the new lotr.i grew up with the original books and movies.i was offended when people told me " oh you gotta see this movie! It's the best ever!" I'm like dude,I read the book when you were watching seseme street.gotts be the most over rated shit I can think of at the moment.the 70s movie was goat.fantastic.had that shit on VHS.

BTW the books sucked.good lore but it's extremely overwhelming.read the Silmarrillion.I DARE YOU! NO NORMAL HUMAN CAN DO IT!!!!
 

hayday

Well-known member
Veteran
The March Of The Penguins could not have been any sadder even if you threw all the charactors into a blender.

Do not recommend, as a matter of fact the blender would have made it better.

Dont watch it.
 

AgentPothead

Just this guy, ya know?
I tried watching it 3 times.maybe it's cause I was high and drunk but I fell asleep 20 minutes every time.i still need to watch interstellar.

While we are on the subject I refuse to watch the new lotr.i grew up with the original books and movies.i was offended when people told me " oh you gotta see this movie! It's the best ever!" I'm like dude,I read the book when you were watching seseme street.gotts be the most over rated shit I can think of at the moment.the 70s movie was goat.fantastic.had that shit on VHS.

BTW the books sucked.good lore but it's extremely overwhelming.read the Silmarrillion.I DARE YOU! NO NORMAL HUMAN CAN DO IT!!!!
I also haven't seen lord of the rings. I read the hobbit like 80 times as a kid and the trilogy easily 20-30. I don't begrudge Peter Jackson his interpretation, but it isn't mine. The mmo LOTRO was actually a lot closer to what I imagined for a lot of stuff. And forget the Silmarrillion, that thing reads like stereo instructions. It gives new definition to the word dry.
 

BadTicket

ØG T®ipL3 ØG³
Moderator
Veteran
Blues Brothers is one of my all time favorites BadTicket.i was born in Joliet.my father did 2 years in that exact same prison before it shut down.

I'm not crazy about the second one but at least we got to see all those stars before they died.james has been dead for a long time.at least they paid a kind of tribute to him and Callaway.lets be honest here.how could you even come close to the original?

Yep, nothing they coulda done to get close to the original, true that..
But they didn't even try, that was my point. Pretty much everything worked in Blues Brothers, but then nothing worked in BB2000.
I was born on the other side of the world from Illinois, I've never been to Chicago, but I know Joliet, Daley center, the Picasso sculpture on the plaza, etc, because Blues Brothers and memorable scenes filmed in those locations. BB2000 could have been filmed on the moon or antarctic and it still woulda been totally forgettable.


Salo is one of the most difficult movies I ever tried to watch. NOT for the gentle-hearted or weak-stomached.

Any survivor of real abuse should miss it entirely: this thing will trigger *anybody*

Pearl Harbor is genuinely a seriously crappy movie: the basically first-rate effects are afterthoughts, and the bulk of the movie is watching Ben Affleck trying to emote, which he’s very bad at...and I typically *like* historically based war movies (Apocalypse Now (Redux is worth the repurchase), the Longest Day, Midway, Full Metal Jacket, Patton...).

Not really a fan of Saving Private Ryan: partly because I’m not a fan of Tom Hanks as an actor, partly because it was a weak showing after the truly astounding Band of Brothers, despite some stylistic similarities.

Can’t agree on the three Hobbit movies: they ‘corrected’ my main complaints about The Hobbit as a book. It was conceived as a children’s book, and hinted at things I found far more interesting that under pinned and illuminated the larger context of LOTR. Then, too, I was a teenager when I read it, and I’d been reading college-level for ten years when I got to it (thank you, Mom, for teaching me to read when I was three!) Looking forward to watching them again, all in a row.

I suggest Klute for a really bad movie. I must have watched it three or four times trying to figure it out before I decided the fault was with the film, and stopped trying.

The Sword and The Sorcerer was pointless, bloody, and awful (definitely do not watch it on acid) - but not as bad as Horror Planet... and of course the entirely flaccid Flesh Gordon

Yep mang, to each his own. I was talking about the 1st Hobbit tho, the 2nd wasn't that bad.. Not that it was good either, but compared to the first it was awesome. Tho that's like saying Uncle Elmer was the nicest inmate on death row, it's not really a compliment.

I wouldn't compare Private Ryan with Band of brothers, but yea, I'd pick BoB over SPR every time if I had to pick from those two.

I thought 'The Pacific', which was a companion piece to BoB was a let down, those two are more comparable anyways. Both are mini-series' which follow a group of soldier in WW2, both shared writers and producers, not to mention style and how they were done. But where BoB had great casting, characters (both main and supporting), locations and scenes which I remember to this day, tho it's been years since I last watched it..
'The Pacific' on the other hand I don't remember much from. Not that it was bad, but nothing special either. Maybe I was expecting too much, hard to make sequels and follow ups and reach the levels of something that was original and great.. Can't name too many flicks and thing that had sequels that were on the level of the original, or better. Maybe terminator 2, Back to the future 2..
'Letters from Iwo Jiwa' was better than 'Flags of our fathers'. They kinda go together, but most shits are like Rocky > Rocky 2.
Ghostbusters > Ghostbusters 2. But yea, I digress..

So back to the topic with a shit war movie: 'Windtalkers', starring Nicholas Cage, who's had his moments, but not in this flick. Directed by John Woo, who's movies went from hot shit to shit we can't get rid of even at Goodwill, along with his fame and good name..
Here's another movie that says it's about something, but in the end is about something else. The name 'Windtalkers' comes from the Navajo tribesmen who served in the US army during WW2 and used their original Navajo language as an artillery code to confuse the enemy. While the movie touched on the subject of the Navajo code, and how (badly) the white soldiers treated the Navajo guys, tho they saved lives and were an important part of the battles, in the end it's a movie about a crazy white dude and his demons, played by Cage.
This movie also had a $110 million budget, but somehow looks like it was a 1st year project by a film school student with shitty explosions and every damn war movie cliche you can think of. And of course historical inaccuracies. Again, if you're gonna call your movie "specific stuff about this and that", make a specific movie about this and that. Don't make this and that a secondary plot or bury it in favor of a white man to the rescue type of stuff.

Do what 'Dances with wolves' did, it was a movie about Kevin Costner, made by Kevin Costner, starring Kevin Costner, that told the story of a white soldier in the US frontier, and his dealings with the natives. Not the other way around. That is cool, even if it's not historically accurate, the title doesn't lie about the subject, which is Kevin Costner.

Some people didn't realize this tho, as the movie was selected for preservation in the US National Film Registry by the Library of Congress for being "culturally, historically or aesthetically significant".
Unless of course they were thinking with that 'Manifest Destiny' stuff in mind, in which case I can totally understand. Or someone really like that sex scene in the movie, where the butt cheeks of Costner get more screen time than I asked for..

The other thing that comes to mind from Kevin Costners butt in a movie that also has violent battle scenes, blood & guts, people getting shot and thing.. How's that 'PG-13' stuff, but if you show a female nipple, it's 'adults only' just because some nip is shown?
Tits are not the stuff of nightmares, but that Kevin Costner butt stuff haunts me to this day..
#metoo

KRS1 said:
Ya hotshot, want to get props and be a savior
First show a little respect, change your behavior
Change your attitude, change your plan
There could never really be justice on stolen land

Woop woop! :tiphat:
 
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TychoMonolyth

Boreal Curing
So many wasted hours... Here's a fail.

Ender's Game
How can such a great book become such a shit movie.
51xlXIiD3vL.jpg


220px-Ender%27s_Game_poster.jpg




But I have to say some were disturbing enough that I'll never watch again.

Wanna be depressed? Watch The Road.
61l2RSq3kbL._SY445_.jpg
 

Green Squall

Active member
Salo, Or the 120 Days of Sodom, by Pier Paolo Pasolini. I'm not saying is a bad movie, and definitely not a boring movie, but I've made two mistakes when I saw it: First was being 15 years old, the second was having meatballs in tomato sauce for dinner just before. Decades later, I'm not strong enough to go through that experience again.

Have you seen El Topo by Alejandro Jodorowsky?
Definitely another one of those movies that you can't unsee.
 

Green Squall

Active member
Wanna be depressed? Watch The Road.
View Image

I found the ending promising. When the boy found the beetle, it was intended as a symbol of hope, that the earth wasn't dead and things were on the path to getting better. Between that, him carrying the "fire" and meeting the new family, I'd like to think he survives.
 

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