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Old 10-26-2018, 02:48 PM #31
armedoldhippy
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communication IS starting to open up. seems like lots of stuff has gone unremarked upon & festered. we still may not make it, but at least an effort is being made. she has begun noting what i do around the house as well as working at my job. are things perfect? not by a long shot. but, they are better than they were & prospects are not as bleak...
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smoking more pot is NOT the answer to my problems. my problem is that i need more problems that smoking more pot IS the answer to...
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Old 10-26-2018, 06:10 PM #32
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Best of luck no matter how this ends up ArmedOldHippie
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Old 10-26-2018, 06:14 PM #33
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If she means enough to you, fight for her.

Kill her with kindness, bring home flowers and chocolate. Small gifts for no reason. Good luck.
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Old 10-27-2018, 04:49 PM #34
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If she means enough to you, fight for her.

Kill her with kindness, bring home flowers and chocolate. Small gifts for no reason. Good luck.

It's a two way street..
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Old 10-27-2018, 05:15 PM #35
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It's a two way street..
Actually, it's not - that's the problem. I had a similar reaction when I first saw LadyGuru's post. On consideration, I realized this was wishful thinking. In most cases it's not a two way street. We like to think we've made tremendous progress in the ways in which men and women relate but old patterns die hard. Bad habits on both sides.
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Old 10-27-2018, 05:46 PM #36
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Actually, it's not - that's the problem. I had a similar reaction when I first saw LadyGuru's post. On consideration, I realized this was wishful thinking. In most cases it's not a two way street. We like to think we've made tremendous progress in the ways in which men and women relate but old patterns die hard. Bad habits on both sides.


Agree.. that is the problem. But i still dont see it being beneficial to shower someone in gifts/love/kindness etc if they arent reciprocal.

To me it sounds as if one of them checked out awhile back..
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Old 11-10-2018, 04:04 AM #37
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If she means enough to you, fight for her.

Kill her with kindness, bring home flowers and chocolate. Small gifts for no reason. Good luck.
And pin her to the mattress as often as possible. A woman (and man) that’s just had their brains screwed out seems to usually be in a better mood.
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Old 11-14-2018, 03:20 PM #38
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Adorno's "Dialectic of Enlightenment" really gave me the words I had been looking for to help the people in my life (90% women) think a little bit more like me. I never knew quite how to tell somebody to "pull their head out" until I read that book.

Critical thinking is a melancholy science. It's kinda sad to know that truth is only found by putting ourselves on trial. Our instinctual assessment of the world around us is marred and distorted by the worst parts of ourselves and society. It takes effort to get it right.

Truth is a beautiful and immutable thing, and well worth the self-deprecation. We are our own worst enemies, after all.
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Old 11-14-2018, 03:23 PM #39
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At one point the wife and I concluded we both are respinsible for being somebody the other looks forward to seeing.
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