Hey Brendon, I won't wish you luck because it takes more than that to stay sober, instead I wish that you continue to find the strength & fortitude to live life in a state of sobriety. You do this for yourself of course & then secondly for your loved ones as well, as you grow older & more mature (an addict since 17? you're still immature. pls don't be insulted by this) you'll realize the fear that you've instilled in all of those around you, and for several reasons.
Smoke weed, it helped me through the toughest times as I tried (successfully) to quit cocaine/freebase/crack. I was addicted for nearly 9 yrs. This August 1st I get to celebrate 30 yrs of sobriety, and I can tell you this, "I ain't NEVER turning back to that shit!"
You & I have a lot in common in our 'maturing' into the drug scene, I started smoking weed in the '68/'69 school year, that was 7th grade for me @ 12 yrs old. I drank hard (no cigs though) and never turned away from an opportunity to party, I didn't know how to say no. Those were the yrs of 'free love' and I had my share of sweet young gals over the years as well, never really respecting monogamy.
By the time I started freebasing (1980) it was too late for me to make intelligent life choice decisions, I thought that this was gods gift to me, nothing made me feel better than basing. All those years, I really thought I was having a good time, I was F'ing sick!
One day in mid June of '88 I woke up feeling like a bag of poop, I promised myself to never feel that way again; I waited about 5/6 weeks for the weather to clear of rain so I could start my cross country motorcycle ride, looking for a quiet place in the midwest to stay sober. On Aug 1st I found that place, the hometown in which my father was born, way up north in Minnesota.
Although mid June was really my sobriety date I prefer to call it Aug. 1st as that's when I landed in a place where I could find some inner peace.
Staying sober for me meant more than just staying away from coke, quitting cold turkey is fine but I needed to replace drugs with something else; my return to nature, all my life I'd enjoyed hunting & fishing, now I lived in the land of plenty!
I called this 'replacement therapy' because you just can't take something away from a person (especially an addicted one) w/o giving them something else that's fulfilling to do with their time. Find a real hobby, rekindle and old passion of yours, would that be skateboarding for you?
If you don't feel like boarding then maybe try buying/selling skateboard decks, I understand some are very collectible. I still buy & sell classic antique bone handled Remington knives on eBay. I've made a bunch of money on them too. I'll assume that w/o spending on drugs & booze that you might have a few bucks to invest in a hobby.
I mentioned this in my 1st posts here, stay away from any and all alcohol. It's a depressant & will very quickly break down your willpower to remain sober. Stay away from any and all of your old cronies, including & especially addicted chicks, nothing will make your mind mushy faster than that.
You're fortunate for living in Oregon, a weed legal state, use cannabis to keep your mind away from that smack, I stayed sober thanks also in part to weed which I/we don't consider a drug. find a variety that calms and satisfies you.
It's gonna be 30 yrs for me quite soon and even though I didn't succeed at all my life goals after that sobriety began I don't have a single regret in the world, I'm satisfied with who I am and where I am today.
Enjoy your sobriety Brendon.......
