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Problems on the home front.....

SoylentGreen

New member
First off this is an alias, not because I'm embarrassed, it's just my wife looks over my shoulder and I never keep anything from her..... I just don't want her to see this thread.


My wife and I have had some distance come between us due to extreme stress, family problems on her side and big problems with us.

Keep in mind we have barely gone to bed without one another for 5 years. She has been going drinking with some new friends from work..... fo the first time she called at 3 in the morning and was too drunk to come home.

A few days later I confronted her that her answers and body language have been different and I think she has something to tell me. After badgering her the only thing she came up with was one of the girls like girls and my wife thinks she likes my wife. If it's not a big deal why would you choose for that to be your first big omission if nothing was going on.

Why should would keep that from me raises a lot of questions in my mind. We're set to discuss this but it just turns into a shit storm when she wont answer.

I know all the reasons leading up to this but how should I deal with it
???

If I continue to get undatifactory answers I feel like I would never be able to trust her again. Do I even try at this point. At one point I asked her what she would have to tell me if I put a tape recorder in her car like my friend who caught his wife did.....

Her answer was to get extremely upset saying she vents to her sis and mom about me and it would be unfortunate if I only heard one side of the story? What a crock..... it's her side of the story I'm concerned about. She seemed really, really scared and kept asking if I did record.

What the fuck do I do?

Bug the car? I can get a gps tracker and a voice activated recorder.


I don't want the info to throw it in her face. To be honest I would show her in counceling session and let the counselor tell us how to split.


My blood is itching and I'm going crazy.

This isn't me..... been crying most of the day. I was always the player..... never cared what a grilfriend decided to leave........ but this is different. She is the most substantial thing to come into my life ever.


I know why she's unhappy and I've been working on it very well, but I need to know what happened.



But, I would be disgusted with my self if I were to record her privacy. That seems so pathetic. Normally I would just end it,. split etc...



If you wanna troll go ahead...... these threads are always a joke I know :)

But I could use some advice from people who have GONE through this


Soylentgreen is people
 

Yes4Prop215

Active member
Veteran
man i got a million problems right now but a female aint one..that would just send me over the edge right now, bout to go fuckin postal!!
 

SoylentGreen

New member
I feel that I need to treat her with respect and understanding at the same time, I'm allowed to be upset.

I don't blame her, she knows me....if she told me what I do/don't want to hear then I would go cold and ask her to leave right there.

I'm not hanging my everything out there again if she's just half foot into this shit,


sg
 
O

Ontariostoner

Dude - if she's yodellin' at the clam bar, let her.

On the other hand, if she's suckin' strange sausage, you might now wanna be kissin' or bangin' her from now on.

A little furry cup sippin' is OK - a tube injection (w/ gravy) could be hazardous to your health (and hers, if it was my Mrs.).

Edit - Mine just found my embryonic grow stuff, and cut my nuts off just below the neck. Count your blessings.

I'm not bangin' either of our wives.
 

SoylentGreen

New member
I just noticed I opened this account feb 2008 lol


man i got a million problems right now but a female aint one..that would just send me over the edge right now, bout to go fuckin postal!!

yeah man..... close to the cliffs

It has to be yummy :)

True enough..... at least I've been laid ;)

Dude - if she's yodellin' at the clam bar, let her.

On the other hand, if she's suckin' strange sausage, you might now wanna be kissin' or bangin' her from now on.

A little furry cup sippin' is OK - a tube injection (w/ gravy) could be hazardous to your health (and hers, if it was my Mrs.).

Edit - Mine just found my embryonic grow stuff, and cut my nuts off just below the neck. Count your blessings.

I'm not bangin' either of our wives.

Thanks ontariostoner...... you always have a classy way of putting things. ;)


I just don' think I can go through the night with niceties..... I need to hash this shit out and it's not a good idea....... my blood is electric..... not angry just confused,.
 

SuperSizeMe

A foot without a sock...
Veteran
I feel that I need to treat her with respect and understanding at the same time, I'm allowed to be upset.

I don't blame her, she knows me....if she told me what I do/don't want to hear then I would go cold and ask her to leave right there.

I'm not hanging my everything out there again if she's just half foot into this shit,


sg

That sentiment NEEDS to go both ways, friend.

Any kids ?
 

GeorgeSmiley

Remembers
Veteran
Honestly bro..... you're at a stage that much easioer to deal with than if you waited a month the way you were going.

I think you're on the right track and should only discuss this in a safe setting like marriage counseling. Many councelours are helping people with fees furing these tough times.

You can fix this but this is a result not a cause of a problem. There is something she needs that she isnt getting adn I'm sure she would much rather you were at these parties.....

Youo go out with her much?

Cheers
smiley
 
M

Marywanna

Tape recorder in the CAR? GPS to follow her? Dude you sound scarey. That would push me out the door for sure..............
 

GeorgeSmiley

Remembers
Veteran
I'm just gonna say no matter what keep the discussion to a minimum and get on the hunt for a couseloutr that can help
 
T

TrichyTrichy

Sounds like the roles may be reversed a bit. Is she the primary source of the household's income?
If so, she may have saw you as safe rather than a risk.
 

SuperSizeMe

A foot without a sock...
Veteran
Sorry man...I just had to...




















ladies-night-chick-fat-horse-demotivational-poster-1260986329.jpg





I'm terrible...I know...
 

SoylentGreen

New member
It's cool SSM, I know you're all good ;)

Sounds like the roles may be reversed a bit. Is she the primary source of the household's income?
If so, she may have saw you as safe rather than a risk.

I was very well of when we met and my business tanks completely, on the upswing but still.... she is the primary earner in our family.

I am productive in many areas, wouldn't be things like I sit around all days, I can't

We're going to talk about it when she gets home in a bit. I'm going to try what I read about using I words instead of YOU words

I feel, i hurt, i want/..... instead of accusing like you do thins, you make me feel, you hurt me

I think it sounds legit
 
T

TrichyTrichy

too many I's and it will sound like a mexican song. Must be more of we,us and our.
 

SoylentGreen

New member
Appreciate it george

Trichy, thats a great idea..... much better I'm glad I caught it.

I NEED to make this work, I can make it work but if she's somewhere else I can't change a mind...... love dont need salesman
 
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