My Wife, I Hate Her.

Well, let me start off by saying, my wife, I hate her w/ a passion.
We have only been married 5 years, but it is by far the worst 5 years of my life. I hate her, I hate everything about her, I wish her nothing but ill will.

Tonight was very ridiculous. It just made me realize that no matter what I do, it is unavoidable fact, that one day, I will not be able to go to sleep, and wake up w/ my son under the same roof. He is really the only reason I have not chopped off her head and buried her in a remote location. I love him to death, and I just could never ever do anything that would take him away from his mother. He is completely innocent, and it breaks my heart to know that one day, probably very soon, he will be living in a broken home, w/out a father. Unfortunately I cannot control her, and that is the road we are going down. Me personally, I would chose to stick it out until he is 18 and moving on w/ a life of his own as an adult, but I don't believe I am going to have a choice in the matter.
I just cannot live w/ this person anymore, and I am afraid that if I continue to do so, I will at some point lose control and do something that I would regret. I really don't know what to do. I don't even know if I am asking for any advice to be honest, I am just trying to get my thoughts out so that I can read them. Maybe some of you here could give me some good insight or words of wisdom. It just kills me, I am so torn. I refuse to walk out on my family, but at the same time, my wife realizes that she has all the power in the world because of that, and she does nothing but undermine me w/ my son, be combative and confrontational w/ each and every breath she takes. Literally, she could ask me what color the sky is, and if I say blue, she will w/out hesitation say, "NO IT'S RED W/ GREEN POLKADOTS!"
I have kept telling myself to wait, maybe she will grow up, maybe things will work out, but I just decided tonight, there is no hope. It seems like all I can do is sit and wait for her to make her move. I have told her that if she hates me and does not want to be w/ me, then go file for divorce and I will gladly sign away any hopes of having the type of life w/ my son that I want to have. At this point, I don't care and am tired, I am tired of the way she acts, the way she tries to provoke me at every turn, and the indifference she has w/ regard to how it affects our son. He is 5 on the 31st. It is to the point where I believe that she is intentionally trying to sabotage our lives, and get me to the point to where I just up and leave, so she can have a scapegoat, and tell my son, "your daddy left us" so that she does not have to accept responsibility for our family falling apart. I really think she wants to see that, she wants to see my son's heart break, and she wants to see my son grow up to hate me based on his perception that "his daddy left him". Obviously that is what he would think if I did leave, even though I know that somewhere down the road he is so smart, that he would one day realize what had happened.
I just do not know where to go from here.
In my mind, I think regardless of who leaves who, my son is going to be destroyed, but I just cannot see raising him in a home w/ someone like her. I am not knocking anyone that comes from a divorced family, or that has divorced and has kids.
I simply know that the "best" thing for any kid, is to have his mom and dad, together, whole. It kills me to think that no matter what, that is not going to happen for him. It's not fair, it's not fair to him that I made a piss poor decision choosing his mom, and now he will be the one to ultimately suffer. I know, that she will get full custody of him. That scares me to be honest. But I know that if I fight it, she will just make it real ugly, bring out my past, tell the courts that for the last 2 years in CA I was growing, and using cannabis, etc..etc.....
I quit my job in CA, for the 2nd time as a result of her threats to take my son if I did not, and have now moved halfway across the country back to where we are both from.
Worked out good for her though, she decided we were going to move because she got her old job back, so goody for her. She threw the title to my car away before leaving CA, and now I can't even drive anywhere to get a job even if I wanted to. But at least I will be able to maybe in 8 to 9 weeks, or whenever CA will send it out to me.
Awesome she just rushed back in after storming out, assaulted me, and is now threatening to call the cops on me because I grabbed her wrist to prevent her from hitting me. All right!!
God I hope an act of god takes her off this earth w/ a quickness, at least then it would not be my fault.
Now she is telling me oh wait, "I won't call the cops, I am just going to wait and file for divorce tomorrow."
Thank god, maybe I am going to get some resolution finally. It sucks that my son will no longer have a father in his life. But she did say that she will just call the cops once a month and tell them I am growing dope, so that I go to jail. Good, then I will get full custody of my son when she gets pinched for calling in multiple false reports. And then after that, I will just do what I do lol.

Ok, sorry for the long post, now, she is saying everything is gonna be just fine, she isn't gonna do any of that stuff, no police, no taking my son, no trying to get me pinched in the future, etc....



PSYCHO

All this tonight,
stemmed from the fact that I downloaded the vidalia tor bundle w/ privoxy, and the firefox tor button onto her laptop...
I am not kidding.
I tried to explain it to her, show her how it worked and why it's important, and she flipped out like she was a fucking circus acrobat.
I promptly created a new user profile on the laptop, changed the admin password so that she could not remove these programs, and it all went downhill from there. Obviously I did that for safety, as I use that computer often, and I attempted to explain that to her, but before I could get 2 words out she was screaming about how she doesn't want to have to click on the "x" to close a window. I didn't even get a chance to tell her I could just make the vidalia window not come on, she just went off. So I said fuck it, I am not gonna mess around w/ her removing the programs, they are for OUR safety, so boom, password done. Created a new profile for her to use that she can password protect if it makes her feel good or whatever, but eh... she would rather do what I just went through here and talked about. Lovely lady, really.
I am one lucky guy.

Rant done I guess. Who knows what will actually happen. I suspect that she probably won't do anything, but who knows. I told her I would love to see her explain to our families that we are getting a divorce because I changed the password on her computer. I will continue to update this thread, as I see that it may be somewhat comical for some, and maybe some of the veterans can help me keep my family together. But I think it's kinda like trying to reason w/ someone that is a terrorist hell bent on blowing you up w/ a suicide bomb jacket.
I am sure it is going to be a long ass thread, because every single day, it's something different, so I will have plenty to talk about. If it pisses any of yous off, and you don't like to hear about it, just don't read it I guess. Try to save the flaming for someone else, I get enough in real life. But I would really be open to honestly discussing this stuff and getting some advice. Ultimately, she can behave however she wants, as long as I get to be w/ my son. Sooner or later she will fuck up I am sure, and if not, then I will be free in 13 years.

Sorry to hear you got yourself wound up with someone so idiotic and psychotic. I know those types of women...nothing appeases them, they think they know everything there is to know so no matter how you attempt to rationalize, they find some way to be a bitch and/or not take you serious and/or make you the person at fault.

You have 2 options from how i see it.. Stick with it for the kids sake, or say fuck it relieve the stress, get a divorce and get paperwork ready for shared custody. thats the only way dude aside from sticking with it...or just become separated. i'd save up some cash first before you do that so its not a financial blindside

Sounds like she needs to smoke some good weed

sorry to hear that bro. I'm not married but I did spend the weekend with a girl once.

why do people get married to people they hate? I don't get it.

KMK0420 said:

Sorry to hear you got yourself wound up with someone so idiotic and psychotic. I know those types of women...nothing appeases them, they think they know everything there is to know so no matter how you attempt to rationalize, they find some way to be a bitch and/or not take you serious and/or make you the person at fault.

You have 2 options from how i see it.. Stick with it for the kids sake, or say fuck it relieve the stress, get a divorce and get paperwork ready for shared custody. thats the only way dude aside from sticking with it...or just become separated. i'd save up some cash first before you do that so its not a financial blindside

Sounds like she needs to smoke some good weed

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Thanks for the kind words, don't be sorry, it's my own fault, I am the retard that married her, I should have listened to every single person around me including my gut, but I was not real smart. I would like to stick it out just to be w/ my son if I could, but hell, tomorrow it's gonna be WW3 again over god knows what. It also blows that I have to change up my growing ambitions, and go completely underground, double life shit, whether I stay w/ her or not. I simply cannot trust her.
If we do get a divorce, then I am just going to hate myself for doing that to my son. I already do. The money...eh...
that's gonna be not good also, I hear what you are saying though. I just went upstairs to get a coke, and the divorce is back on supposedly, so we'll see if she files, I have to sign them, so I will just be fuctulated for a while.

h^2 O said:

sorry to hear that bro. I'm not married but I did spend the weekend with a girl once.

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That's long enough!!!! Good for you mang. I would rather spank it every night for the rest of my life than have to put up w/ her. Not that I will, I mean, I will still go out and get some play here and there, but to be honest, I could really care less about female companionship, it's waaay down and will be waay down on my list of priorities, right after getting an anal bleaching.

Yummybud said:

why do people get married to people they hate? I don't get it.

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Yummy, I have no idea, stupidity. Me specifically, when I found out that she was pregnant, in my mind I thought that no matter what, that is what I needed to do, to be doing the right thing, to give my son a father. Hell could have saved myself years of headaches and trouble had I just listened to everyone I knew at the time. I ignored serious red flags right from the jump, blinded by the belief that I had to be her husband to be my sons father. That's why I was saying the other night, you have it made brother. You got alot going for you and you are blessed to be single and be doing what you are doing w/ your education. Believe me, at the time, I had no clue what I was doing. I didn't hate her, I loved her, because she was bringing my son into the world, and I ignored a fuck ton of fucked up shit that everyone else saw and said, "NO".

KMK, you are right, she does need to smoke weed.
When we first met, we were working in the same place, and I was single. (Mistake 1, she had was involved w/ someone for 7 years at the time). She actually used to sell me on ounce a week back in the day, for her boyfriend. I never had anything to do w/ her, didn't talk to her, just one day she offered to get me some weed and I was like fuck yeah.

Well one thing led to another and before you know it, she was staying at my place a little longer each time she would come through, and then she started showing up at some joints that I would go to, and then, one night she came home w/ me........

I must swang tha thang good, because after the first time, she went home, packed her shit, and left her man the next day. We continued to see each other, and 3 months later, she's pregnant.
(A side note, the pull out method, not 100% reliable, and the myth that weed makes you sterile, not true lol.)
I proposed shortly after that, we moved in together starting getting ready for my son, and got married soon after he was born.
By that time I had been at my company for a year, gotten promoted and relocated w/in the state to be a GM, I was 23 or 24 I think. I was making some serious jack, but the trade off was that I basically missed out on alot of the first 2 years of my sons life. I was ok w/ that, because in my mind I was providing a wonderful comfortable home for my wife and son, my wife did not need to work, and we were saving 10s of thousands of dollars a year, my salary far exceeded what we needed to live on.
Everything was fine, kinda rocky, but fine until she lost it and did her first "do this or I am gone and I am taking your son."

About once every 3 months, I would have to travel cross country for a week at a time, and it literally turned into a circus w/ her. She accused me up and down of cheating on her w/ multiple co-workers, we are talking 40 something year old women that were the farthest thing from attractive that you could imagine. She would lay the guilt down and tell me that I was never around and that it wasn't fair to my son etc...and eventually demanded that I quit.

I kind of think that it really came down to the fact that at the time we met, she was graduating, getting like 5 degrees in programing, bizniz, etc.... and then there was me, I was "too cool for school" smoked weed every day, and had a bomb ass job that generally required a college degree, but an exception was made for me.

I finally gave in and told her if she could find a job and support us that I would quit and get a real estate license and do that. It was important to us that 1 of us always be w/ our son, and that we not rely on someone that was not family to care for our son.

So..
she got a job, making like 24K a year, we moved for that, I began practicing real estate, and we literally lived pay check to pay check after that. Luckily I had a huge chunk of change saved up so that was always a little comforting.

Well hell, gonna go ahead w/ the rest of the story now I guess,

So anyway, after a year or so of that. I get a call from my longtime friend, best man at my wedding, brother, telling me he had opened a MMJ clinic and that he wanted me to come out and run it for him. I declined for about a year. Just didn't want to move that far away from my family etc...
Once my wife decided that working 40 hours a week was really hard and sucked, she started encouraging me to look at taking him up on the offer. He flat out told me to name my price, he fronted us 20K to move out there and get a place, so we did.

5 days after we signed our lease that was 2k/ month, after I had been there for a few weeks, he had just opened another clinic. Everything was cool, then he got raided by the DEA, arrested, charged, clinics gone, and oh yeah, I had 2 houses out there that he had renters in that you guessed it, were employed by him. Guess what happened to those houses, and my credit. Needless to say, it was of course my fault and we were fucked.

Somehow, we made it, many many long nights selling on ebay, I literally did not get a call for a job for 18 months. My wife got a server job and we got by.

2 years later, my wife gets a hair up her ass, after I have a job, and gets her wonderful low paying job back that she got fed up w/ to begin with. She demanded that we move BACK, and you guessed it, my choice was go w/ her, or count on not seeing my son ever again.

So now we are back, and literally, the threats are fast and furious, to the point it's almost laughable. Now I am just throwing up my hands and telling her, if that's what you want to do then do it.

There's alot more to it, but that's kind of the cliff's notes version.
I am not innocent by any means either.
In this time the last few years my attitude towards her has been not very nice. I have alot of resentment towards her, and of course, she says that she acts the way she does because I am such a jerk. But she has always acted like this, so I don't get it. I would think that anyone in my shoes would not be very nice to her, and even so, I still don't beat her, or cheat on her. But whatever.

Hope this shit makes you feel a lil' better Yum! I would trade places w/ you in a heartbeat.
And that is some fuct up shit lol! Just kidding Yum, just giving you the bizniz.

i was a bit older when my parents marriage went to shit
sometimes i thought ignoring the yelling and crazy shit was easier than after the day my mom told me that she told my dad to leave

now though, some years later, i have also come to realize that no matter what we too have to be happy
my parents couldnt live together, and no matter how much i wanted them too, they werent goin to be back together
took me a while to realize it was overall for the better
but also one thing i have observed
dont drag it out
dont look back
but i mean def take care of your kid i just mean you have to be happy to make your kid happy you know

Sheriff Bart said:

i was a bit older when my parents marriage went to shit
sometimes i thought ignoring the yelling and crazy shit was easier than after the day my mom told me that she told my dad to leave

now though, some years later, i have also come to realize that no matter what we too have to be happy
my parents couldnt live together, and no matter how much i wanted them too, they werent goin to be back together
took me a while to realize it was overall for the better
but also one thing i have observed
dont drag it out
dont look back
but i mean def take care of your kid i just mean you have to be happy to make your kid happy you know

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Man, makes me want to cry to think about how he is going to take it and how long it will have a negative impact on him. Like I said, if this happens, I know sometime down the road he will understand, he is smart as fuck, but as a father I do not want to see my son in pain like that. Although the alternative I can't argue is any better, we get heated, we yell, like I said before, I accept responsibility for my part and my behavior. I just don't see an alternative aside from being a submissive pussy and giving in every time she has a fit. I for damn sure do not want my son to see that as an example of how to be either. It's basically a no win everyone loses situation. He loses the most. I just lose the last little bit of human compassion and kindness that I have left, and his mom loses too, although she probably does not think so.
God I fucking hate her.

Did I mention that I had just gotten my perp grow off the ground and to a point where it was actually happening for me, and that I trashed everything to make this move, to a state where I have no legal protection.
FUCK
I hate her.

Damn it, I am in here, taking a shit, and she is pounding on the bathroom door about her damn computer!!!
Fuck her, as soon as I get done wiping my ass I am gonna just cut her fucking head off, take off all my clothes, and go for a walk and find a car to jump onto and ride on the roof w/ her pretty little head dangling from my teeth.
Fuck.

I love my wife, but Im leaving her soon too. ha s/t I cant stand to be around her, s/t I love her. She isnt psyco, but crazy in her own right.

I do not claim to have any idea what is going on in your wifes mind, but it seems that she is very prone to making threats but not following through on them...

"Ok, sorry for the long post, now, she is saying everything is gonna be just fine, she isn't gonna do any of that stuff, no police, no taking my son, no trying to get me pinched in the future, etc...."

Since you're married you each currently have the same "ownership" of your son. Why take her bullshit? If her threats are empty, why do they hold credibility? Are you currently growing (I've certainly seen you around the site a lot but cant remember if you have a current grow, and you alluded to the fact that you aren't growing in one of your posts on this thread so idk)? If not, then she really doesn't have much leverage over you. If you appear clean as a whistle then don't be the hydrant, be the dog. I'm sorry you had to move from CA to a place with no legal protection to pursue your hobby (or profession, depending I suppose). Having lived through a failed marriage (my parents), and escaped from similar relationships (never sealed the deal of course), I would only say that you should definitely make sure your son understands why you do whatever you decide to do, believe it or not it will stay with him forever if he remembers his dad telling him that he loves and cares about him and will stay in his life as much as is best for him (the child). Don't take your wife's shit though, unless what she's trying to make you do (such as move halfway across the country into a non-mj friendly state) is what is absolutely best for the family and there is no chance for compromise. Good luck my friend. Remember, things always get worse before they get better. But they do eventually get better. You think it's bad now, just wait til she goes through menopause -_-

Ah women..

They are wired differently.. sometimes wired wrong... but don't hate

Never forget that smoking may calm you down.. you just have to get somewhere peaceful first... sneak out a window or get on the roof. As long as you are within earshot of the shit you aren't going to get centered and you won't be able to keep your head.

If you don't mind me asking, what's up w/ that. I am the kind of person that goes to extremes, black or white, love or hate, friend or enemy etc....
You have kids?
Does she know you are leaving?
What do you love about her?
What can you not stand about her?
I'm just asking for asking sake, no big deal if you don't wanna go into it.
I hope you end up on your feet and better off than you are now.

a near friend of mine is in the same situation, but his son is only three years old and they are not married. But he had to stopp contact because of her.

I know them both, and they can´t be together without fighting. But she in a way would go on with the fighting but he was realistic and left.

Now he has depressions sometimes thinking of his son he really loves but on the other hand he knows it is better for him not seeing and hearing his parents fighting.

I talked many times to him and now he agrees that some day his son will understand his decision and will try to get in contact with him.

So, get divorced and leave before you do something stupid..harm her and wait till you son is old enough to realize what happend.


The years will go by and you will get lucky again!

Sorry to hear IE2KS! That fucking sucks. I have no advise to give, but I truly feel for you bro!

ChronJohn said:

I do not claim to have any idea what is going on in your wifes mind, but it seems that she is very prone to making threats but not following through on them...

"Ok, sorry for the long post, now, she is saying everything is gonna be just fine, she isn't gonna do any of that stuff, no police, no taking my son, no trying to get me pinched in the future, etc...."

Since you're married you each currently have the same "ownership" of your son. Why take her bullshit? If her threats are empty, why do they hold credibility? Are you currently growing (I've certainly seen you around the site a lot but cant remember if you have a current grow, and you alluded to the fact that you aren't growing in one of your posts on this thread so idk)? If not, then she really doesn't have much leverage over you. If you appear clean as a whistle then don't be the hydrant, be the dog. I'm sorry you had to move from CA to a place with no legal protection to pursue your hobby (or profession, depending I suppose). Having lived through a failed marriage (my parents), and escaped from similar relationships (never sealed the deal of course), I would only say that you should definitely make sure your son understands why you do whatever you decide to do, believe it or not it will stay with him forever if he remembers his dad telling him that he loves and cares about him and will stay in his life as much as is best for him (the child). Don't take your wife's shit though, unless what she's trying to make you do (such as move halfway across the country into a non-mj friendly state) is what is absolutely best for the family and there is no chance for compromise. Good luck my friend. Remember, things always get worse before they get better. But they do eventually get better. You think it's bad now, just wait til she goes through menopause -_-

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That's a good point. She doesn't follow through on anything, she just now tried to tell me I need to decide what I want to do. I told her you already plain as day said exactly what you are doing and that I expect the next words outta her mouth to be, "sign this."

At the moment, no grow, lots of gear, hardware, beans, but no grow. She really has nothing to hold over my head anymore, don't even smoke at the moment, not gonna even entertain the idea of smoking the stress that is all over out here, can't be wasting my get outta jail free card on a possession charge for that bullshit, not that I want to use it, but if I have to it's gonna be for growing. She did mention that she would call the cops and tell them I had all my gear and paraphernalia and beans, but fuck her. I'm not gonna ditch that stuff, and I will blow a free strike for that, hell I will just hide it if I can actually. But yeah, and get this, even out there in CA, she threatened to call the DEA, they have an office in Riverside, I told her to fuck off and she you guessed it, never did. So yeah you are right, I think that is why I have come to the point where I am at. I just don't care now, because she can't use any of that shit against me.

As for the last move, she did make the threats, but honestly, it was the best thing for my son as well, she just threatened me out of habit I think, kind of her knee jerk reaction. He has 5 cousins all around the same age, he loves dearly, and I did feel like a selfish ass for keeping him away for 2 years. Seeing him w/ them, and the grandparents, there was no way that I could have made any other choice, and although it blows for me personally, I would rather take that chance and know that my son is close to his family. And that he would have a network of family for support that loves him dearly.
If it ever happens, then I am counting on the fact that my son does love me, and is smart, and may understand, again, just hate to even put him through that. If she could just straighten up, it just pisses me off that on a whim, she is willing to completely devastate his entire life, but then again, like you said she doesn't follow through. So fuck her, it's a new time in our lives at present, and I will call her on it every time, I will not give in to her anymore. Then if she does the deed, so be it. I will be ready w/ pen in hand, and hopes that my little man will understand.

mean mr.mustard said:

Ah women..

They are wired differently.. sometimes wired wrong... but don't hate

Never forget that smoking may calm you down.. you just have to get somewhere peaceful first... sneak out a window or get on the roof. As long as you are within earshot of the shit you aren't going to get centered and you won't be able to keep your head.

Click to expand...

Boy what I wouldn't give for some OGK or LACon, or anything remotely dank lol! But I am gonna try to get by w/out until I can get a job at the very least, then if I can get by until I turn a crop, that's the goal anyway. Hell, I wouldn't pay out there, I will be damned if I am gonna buy any out here! lol Already had a buddy offer to blow a blunt, I hit it, once. He thought I was crazy, I am just too damn spoiled though, weed snob.

berlinweed said:

a near friend of mine is in the same situation, but his son is only three years old and they are not married. But he had to stopp contact because of her.

I know them both, and they can´t be together without fighting. But she in a way would go on with the fighting but he was realistic and left.

Now he has depressions sometimes thinking of his son he really loves but on the other hand he knows it is better for him not seeing and hearing his parents fighting.

I talked many times to him and now he agrees that some day his son will understand his decision and will try to get in contact with him.

So, get divorced and leave before you do something stupid..harm her and wait till you son is old enough to realize what happend.


The years will go by and you will get lucky again!

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My gut tells me that is the right thing to do and that I should just do it. My heart tells me to put up w/ it until my son can understand, the back of my mind says this bitch is gonna get me locked up. I told her straight up, you threaten me ever again in your life about calling the cops, then they are gonna find some oxy or x or something on your ass, then alot of my problems will be solved. I think that hit home, we'll see, she knows that 1. I will do it, and 2. I will do it.
So we will see.

I read your first few sentences that was enough. You made me laugh so k+, but really its obvious that the whole "stay together for the kid" thing simply doesn't work. My condolences because it is a shame for the child, but what can you do but move on...

what did chris rock say??? "i would never hit a bitch but i'd shake the shit outta one!"

Mate it sounds like you need a divorce.