Please Pray For Me

Wishing you the best friend.

I feel ya bro, I am dealing with the same shit. I have been on suboxone for the last few months, and it really does help. I tried quitting cold turkey a few times, and made it to about 10 days both times, and something would trigger me to go find any opiate. I was going through some horrible things when I tried to quit, and I was suicidal... If you are not in a good mental state, I would advise not quitting and going with suboxone.

I was spending 4-500 a week on anything I could get my hands on. And now being on suboxone for these few months has given me time to try and overcome my depression and other issues. I have made a little progress but you would be surprised how long it takes until you are mentally ready to quit. After awhile you get over the urge to want to be nodded all day. You can hit me up with a PM anytime.

suboxone will not give you the feeling of being faded, it just gives you time to not be sick and get shit straightened out IMO.

and why dilaudid man? Is that all that's available?

asking for help is a great start. you're on way to recovery. the word tells us to pray without ceasing and to believe without doubting. train is only physical you obviously are cognizant of the situation all you have to do is beat the withdraw with the power of your mind. you know that prayer helps so, help yourself by taking the time to read the word beginning to end. feed you mind and nourish your soul and you will come through the tunnel far better of then when you entered into the darkness. God bless you, i have you in my prayers.

Hey Bro lots of people thinking of you here and many that have gone through what you have too..

Just keep us posted in how you're doing... Everyone needs a little help sometimes.

Pushin positive vibes your way!

As a ex coke abuser from the late '70's I feel ya bro. Although on the opposite end of the coin the consequences are the same in the end.
Stand strong and let your inner voice from your HEART control you. The beast can be beat. NEVER, EVER give up.
Prayers and good vibe your way bro.
EDIT: Sometimes it's hard to go this alone. If you need to seek help from a qualified individual that's been through it as well then do so. You'll be thankful in the end.
Just remember like me and others you'll fight the beast every day. But it does get easier every day you say NO.

HerbGlaze said:

I want to thank all of you for the kind words and support, I really do need it.
Much love to all!

I went to a local recovery center and talked to a counselor who said I might wanna get on a Suboxone program to help me with the withdrawals because with the rate I was "slamming" this crap it can be dangerous to my health just completely stopping.

Its hard to avoid all these things that trigger my use, i live in a small town of 12,000 people and I see my "user" friends everywhere and they constantly ask me for some or if I need some. So its extremely hard to escape this.

Here is how my first day went... overall it was a disappointment.

I woke up feeling completely rested, later on I went to town to get some groceries and someone I know wanted a 20 sack so i kindly donated it to him. By now i'm back home and its 24 hours since my last "hit", i'm having a full blown anxiety attack sweating my balls off in my bed, then all of a sudden freezing, then i go downstairs and puke and I look in the mirrior and my pupils are literally the size of dinner plates, it looked like I was on LSD. I couldn't help it, i called a friend and recieved a standard dose i usually do which is 8mg of Dilaudid. I feel completely normal now, but i just can't stop completely. I guess ill wheen myself off because for me just doing one shot a day is a great step in the right direction.

Keep praying...

Much love to IC!

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No excuses bro-- Better luck tomorrow-- I'm pulling for you!!

Sleepy said:

please find a way to stop before you are gone.

please stop.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSYKe9-azAU&feature=related

Be good.

We're praying for you.

Much love!

Hey brother wishing you the best of luck on the most important and difficult undertaking you will ever make. Going cold turkey is not a great idea medically or otherwise. I've been clean for almost 7 years by way of methadone taper detox, but I don't recommend that except for a last resort after you have tried a few other things.
1) Move somewhere you don't know anyone that uses and into a place with someone that doesn't use.
2) Cut off all ties to those that do use and delete all those phone numbers. Eventually you will even forget them mentally if you don't call them long enough.
3) Have a few people that love you be your support network. People you can call to talk to when you get cravings or start thinking irrationally. These should be the only kind of people in your life if you are really serious about this which it sounds like you are.
Be willing to change everything in order to get better. I had to move from one coast to the other and be willing to start fresh to have a shot at it. It is possible but 90% of us don't make it. You can be one of those that beats the statistics just don't underestimate the power of an opiate addiction.
My recommendation is that you do an inpatient treatment for 20-30 days then move somewhere far away... If that is not possible then try to make it possible.
Fuck old places and things man, the future is so much better after each single minute of being clean, it just takes a few weeks to get through the really tough parts, check in somewhere if you can.
PM me if you wanna talk. You can do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Trichromedout

I stay in the shadows here but I want to say good luck and be strong. I have been off H and OCs for 3 years now. I tried cold turkey, rehab "forced by court" and may other methods.
SUBOXONE is a miracle drug IMO. It allowed me to stay stable long enough to get my shit straight. The first year is the hardest but work on it day by day. You HAVE to stay away from your user "friends". They aren't the friends you think they are. Quit and see how often the try to get ahold of you. I wish you the best of luck bro.

You can beat this!!!

Dopeboy668 said:

Dude, you need to go to your local doctor and get prescribed Suboxone or Subutex. Takes the cravings and dope sickness away instantly. Its Buprenorphine wich is an opiod agonist, Basically meaning its an opiat blocker. If you do suboxone then do dope, you feel nothin or get sick, so its a waist of money. Dont take more than one a day though so u can use them to transition off the stuff. If you can, wean off them after a couple months or if your still tempted to use u can stay on them as a maintanace plan to keep you clean.
Good Luck+

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People, including doctors, almost always over rx subs. A full 8mg pill is most likely not necessary - even when I was smoking a gram a day a few years ago I started at a half sub and then every 48 hours halved my dose. Taking subs for a long period like that is NOT a good idea because then you have to withdrawl from those and the half life is MUCH longer. Subs also have naloxone and this is the chemical that can make you sick, not the bupe. Also, you only get sick if you have been using and have opiates in your system then take the subs, not the other way around. If you are on subs then try and use, basically just nothing happens and you waste a bunch of money. In regards to getting off subs... take heroin/hydromorphone (dillys) w/d and then extend the worst part of that for about 5-7 days and that's what a sub w/d is like. I never took more than 3-4 doses of it and only once every 48 hours - if you aren't hurting a little bit you aren't doing effectively/correctly IMO.

Also, quitting cold turkey for opiates is NOT dangerous (physically at least). IMO it is actually the best way to do it if you have the will and aren't super far down the rabbit hole. You can't die from opiate w/d (that's only alcohol and benzos) and you don't need a doctor to monitor it. I have seen people go cold turkey that smoke half zips of tar a week and shoot and be fine after 3 or 4 days (physically obviously).

Staying active and improving your self esteem is the #1 most important thing an addict can do. As evidenced by your suicidal thoughts, this is the primary motivation to continue using for many addicts - they think they are worthless POSs that are just a burden to everyone. I assure you this is not the case and you can be healed. It's hard but you can definitely do it (1,000 a month isn't that high of a habit compared to some people I've seen, trust me. I'm not saying its a small habit but you aren't that far down the hole relatively speaking). Also, testosterone levels decrease dramatically when you establish a physical dependency on opiates and T is what gives males our essential and fundamental qualities - sex drive (primary motive behind almost everything) energy, happiness, motivation etc etc are all tied to testosterone. Do w.e you can to raise these levels (work out, even talking to attractive girls has been shown to temporarily increase levels). Working out and KEEPING BUSY are essential - idle hands (and mind) are the devils play thing. Even if you have to do trivial meaningless bullshit, don't just sit around. This is a sure-fire way to fail.

Anyways man I sent you a PM and am here for ya and you're in my thoughts.

edit: previous posters' mention about triggers is also essential. A change of scene can do amazing things and definitely delete contacts and change your phone number. Unless they were your friends before you both started using, they aren't really your friend. Basically, try and get rid of everything you can that reminds you of using (just like getting rid of stuff when you are trying to move past a hard break up).

Second edit: just read your most recent post. Frankly, it doesn't matter how difficult it is you need to ditch the friends. It sucks but they will continue to bring you down as long as they are addicted. The addict cares about only one thing: scoring/not being sick. If this is not possible, then you need to move; I find it hard to believe though that you can't take a hiatus even in your small town and avoid contacting them while you get better. Also, in regards to wheening, I assure you this will fail. It is impossible to avoid the temptation and actually taper if you are truly an addict. In addition, you shouldn't be shooting if you are trying to quit or taper - not only does this add to the mentally addictive aspect (ritualization is a big part of the addiction process) but it's the route of administration specifically meant to get high, not maintain. You want long acting, low peak/low effect opiates for tapering. Dilaudid is the exact opposite of this, literally. It is the shortest acting and has one of the highest peaks - it's the ideal shoot. In regards to your w/d, that's how it's supposed to be especially when you shoot. The acute physical symptoms are going to be rough that's just the nature of the beast. If you cold turkey the intense stuff like vommiting, cold sweats and RLS will go away in 2-3 days usually. This is not to say it will be easy after this or that there won't be other minor physical problems. I give the following advice with EXTREME caution as I don't know enough about you: LOW doses of benzos (.25mg alprazolam aka xanax, or 5 mg diazepam aka valium etc) can really help curtail the anxiety. Just be careful to not end up switching one escape with another. Benzo dependency is even worse imo....

HerbGlaze said:

After a longtime off the "white horse" or "smack" im back on it, its taken complete control of my life the past three months. Mainly I have been using the lady Dilaudid... she has got me by the balls.
I have wasted at least $1000 a month on my drug habit. My whole family and my friends have noticed and are deeply concerned about my health, i have lost 10 pounds and look like a walking zombie, pale, dark rings around my eyes, slowed speech, and no feelings of emotions. This addiction has made me so desprite to stop that i honestly thought about taking my own life to get out of the situation I am in, So now I am trying to quit cold turkey so ill be feeling like complete crap and have a feeling of complete loss of control for the next weeks to come.

I just want some positive vibes and some support from our wonderful cannabis family here on the IC.

Thank you...

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Well bra I'm sending you all the povitive vibes I can but PLEASE don't cold turkey this drug that is way too dangerous.. Please try and titrate properly off the drug or you will cause yourself some serious harm as you should know.. This is NO JOKE!! once you have made up your mind to stop then you should start on this road and it won't be easy but you will get much better then you are right now be patient ... peace out Headband707

PS.. Sleep Sleep Sleep is what your going to need

Hey HerbGlaze.. I just want to offer my support and respect. Thanks for reaching out to the community, Its very brave of you.

blessings my friend, wishing you all good things

I have one question. does smoking weed help you resist cravings at all? I have heard it helps some.

Also maybe pick up a new interesting hobby to keep busy; chose something that you have always wanted to do but haven't. a brand new new exciting thing might help distract you. maybe chose something your loved ones can do with you that support you.

so maybe here is some steps.

1.detox for one month in an in patient center with doctors, do some therapy, and rest. maybe get that new medicine
2. move to a new place and avoid all triggers
3. do your new activity extensively with your support group. It could be anything from model car building, to backpacking, to race car driving lessons

I personally recommend backpacking for the summer, and skiing for the winter. there is no where to find drugs on the trail. It uses all your extra energy. Hiking a 14,000 foot mountain is a rush all in it's self. skiing even more so. plus skiing is exciting and relaxing at the same time. it is great.

ya pick up a skiing or snowboarding. you wont want to do anything but be on a real mountain!!

HerbGlaze said:

I want to thank all of you for the kind words and support, I really do need it.
Much love to all!

I went to a local recovery center and talked to a counselor who said I might wanna get on a Suboxone program to help me with the withdrawals because with the rate I was "slamming" this crap it can be dangerous to my health just completely stopping.

Its hard to avoid all these things that trigger my use, i live in a small town of 12,000 people and I see my "user" friends everywhere and they constantly ask me for some or if I need some. So its extremely hard to escape this.

Here is how my first day went... overall it was a disappointment.

I woke up feeling completely rested, later on I went to town to get some groceries and someone I know wanted a 20 sack so i kindly donated it to him. By now i'm back home and its 24 hours since my last "hit", i'm having a full blown anxiety attack sweating my balls off in my bed, then all of a sudden freezing, then i go downstairs and puke and I look in the mirrior and my pupils are literally the size of dinner plates, it looked like I was on LSD. I couldn't help it, i called a friend and recieved a standard dose i usually do which is 8mg of Dilaudid. I feel completely normal now, but i just can't stop completely. I guess ill wheen myself off because for me just doing one shot a day is a great step in the right direction.

Keep praying...

Much love to IC!

Click to expand...

Suboxone can be a miracle drug for alota people. It can help u get your stuff together long enough to get clean. But as other posters stated u wanna take the minimum dose u can cause alot of doctors roun my way will prescribe u three 8 mg per day which is crazy. The less u take the easier it'll be to ween off them. Trust me ive seen alota people jus use subs in place of herion for a year or two then cant get off suboxone cause the half life is twice as long as dope. They end up jus stuck in this place where theyre not addicts but their still addicted. You can do it though. This is coming from a 10 year user who died 5 times along the way and is now 3 years clean.

just sent out a prayer for you,pull all your strength together
get down to a dose you can come off and watch the weed when
you are rattling it can sometimes enhance the withdrawls ten fold.

i have been living away from eveyone in that part of my life
for over two years.
you can do it.

rocky5

wish ya all the best...stay strong!!
i saw lots of ppl getting so fucked up on h.....quite the shit!!

parys for ya!!

HerbGlaze said:

I couldn't help it, i called a friend and recieved a standard dose i usually do which is 8mg of Dilaudid.

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Alright. So get back up and start again tomorrow. One day at a time.

HerbGlaze said:

I feel completely normal now, but i just can't stop completely. I guess ill wheen myself off because for me just doing one shot a day is a great step in the right direction.

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It is a step in the right direction, but weening doesn't work. I've seen very few people that can manage an addiction. What you were feeling before you felt "Completely normal" was in fact completely normal. Don't be afraid of it. What you're feeling after the dose isn't normal. It's a facade that the addiction tells you is normal. It isn't. Were not meant to be sticking needles in our arms, legs, hands, and toes. Ride it out man. It gets better.

Like others said. Ditch those numbers you call when you needed a hit. You don't need them now. You're moving on in a new direction. Those "friends" aren't friends. If they're not going where you're going then they're just baggage. You've got everything you need to succeed inside you. No need for baggage. Also if you're going to be seeing those "friends" around then perhaps if you really want to get clean a move would be beneficial. Put the drugs completely out of your grasp.

Lastly, and again, (weening doesn't work) if you can't kick it on your own check yourself into a rehab clinic. Don't do the outpatient thing. Inpatient is what you need.

I'm not sure about opiates, but I know that with coke addiction after the first 28 days being clean you get another wave of strong urges and that is when people fail again. I went in for a 42 day program, followed by 6 months in a halfway house located halfway across the state. You might benefit from a longer recovery time in a halfway house where medications can be monitored, and you'll be infused with ongoing counseling. We can't run before we walk. A place where you can transition and be encouraged might be good for you.

Chin up bro. You can do it.



GreatLakes THC

pharmaceutical opiates are little more than chemical slavery in a pill

cannabis oils and tinctures made from stains that obliterate your short term memory and kill pain are what I used to get form point A to point B

I went around dead lot gifting nugs of pot thats a viable alternative to the exploitive drugs (opiates and benzos) that are enslaving our good brothers and sisters, so people could know there are choices and amazingly i found a bunch a heads who discovered the same thing, pot is viable medicine to combat chemical addiction including the practice of growing your own medication. Very therapeutic for those of us that require something to maintain an inner harmony

its bad, its only tip of the iceberg, but there is a place on the other side of this addiction where you get to claim your life back and live it with far more insight than you had before

might feel like your climbing everest, but when you get to the top you'd be surprised at the transformation you have made

its funny, the longer im here and the more honest people are about their lives i get the feeling pot is here to save mankind if mankind can only save pot