Thinking of quitting

There is always a silver lining, and things will get better.
I don’t think that I have ever been depressed, but I have been down on my luck for most of my life. Until that is, last year, now, my life is almost perfect! I’ve started my own business this year, which is becoming far more rewarding than I could have ever imagined, I have resolved long standing issues with my family that I thought would never end, and six months ago I overcame an illness that has drastically effected me for the last 10 years. Life has much more value to me now, and I love you all!

Forfingoz

pieceofmyheart said:

I can sit and become deeply entranced very quickly, I have just learned what works for me. But when I first started meditating, I would get a comfy spot, very quiet and totally relax my body. I would only think of that. As I got more relaxed, worries seemed to slip away and didn't seem so important when I didnt give them that importance, that make sense?

As far as searching your soul, it just comes to me when I am in a meditative state. Whatever I have been working on in my head just becomes more clear, and so does the path that I want to take.

I also find that I just plain like myself better when I do this often. It helps get rid of that little voice in your head that questions your life and motives. The doubts and the guilt seem to pass and then my path and my true feelings come into the light.

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I will have to give this a try, shall be interesting. I do this thing. I have to be moving, even when sitting. I will be doing 1 or more of the following while on the computer, watching tv, talking to friends, eating...you get the point. I will wiggle one or both legs side to side, tap one or both legs up and down, stroke my goatee, I also catch myself clenching my jaw or grinding my teeth slighty(blame this on recent e use, which I am ceasing for an indeterminant time despite how much I like it). Anyway you get the idea, I have a problem keeping still, I even move my legs when laying in bed trying to sleep. Overdoze thanks for the input, I was leaning toward that being a problem too for me it seems I need time to think about and incorporate what I've learned and my doing them so often has not allowed me to do that, I need to chill and get my head straight before I trip again. Four thanks for the comeback story it reminds me that I can overcome anything I just need to put in the time and effort and in the end things will be ok, congrats on beating that illness!

naga_sadu, you are one member on this board(not the only one but one) that I truly and whole heartedly respect. You are right on every account. I wish it was as easy as pulling up and leaving the city. My dream is to live in a cabin somewhere and just live and be self sufficient.

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Thanks man I was also living in LA and right after I did my studies I was offered a 6 digit dollar figure per year. Instead of reporting to the job, I just got myself a 1 way ticket and reported to Los Angeles International Airport...

For some people, the dislike w/ their work/ living environment is quite temporary and it fades away w/ time. But for others, it's a commonly recurring problem. I don't know you personally so I don't know which situation it is for you. But if it is the latter, then staying put and "gritting your teeth" is only going to make u feel like crap.

Your dream is to live in a log cabin in a remote place? Well, if it's your dream, pursue it! Because I don't want u regretting it later that "I wish I coulda lived the life I liked." At first see if that kind of lifestyle suits you because "the other side of the pasture is always greener when looked from afar." For example when u see a jungle on a www pic or thru a helicopter, it looks good and picturesque. But once u get down there on foot u'll have to deal w/ leeches making their homes inside your balls, mosquito bites, etc, etc.

For this I would highly recommend u take a trip down to a locale which suits the profile of the lifestyle u wanna lead. Live there for about a month. I mean, there's no point in camping out in the daytime and retiring to the Sheraton hotel at night. Or retiring to the city to buy your provisions. See if u can survive and subsist there. Do this with very little money. If you are having difficulty in any particular aspect of living in the locale which u love (i.e. log cabin in the desolate mountains etc) find out what those difficulties are and overcome them by acquiring the appropriate vocations or skills back in the city. This will equip u more for a permanent life outside the cosmopolitan culture.

You will have to bring this up w/ your sister tho but do it smoothly. GET HER INTERESTED and don't impose your views on her. Bring it up in an educational/ entertaining way. I mean, all of what I said will be invalid if your problem w/ your current work and/or living environment is temporary. But if it's something which is major for u, it's really time to start thinking. After all, a good sturdy brother is more beneficial to a sister than a mentally fledgeling one.

I can think of several ways within locales in the US where you can more than just subsist and maintain the same lifestyle u mentioned. A good skill which is damn lucrative in the States is leather tanning. Also in places like New Zealand. Deer skins are a hot selling commodity all across the States. Maybe not as popular as your $5 walmart crap, but still, very exquisite and lucrative nevertheless. For example, go check out how much a deer skin leather jacket or shoes cost in the world wide web or in any botique in the US. You can live in the cabin, tan your shit there and make some bimonthly trips to the city to dispose of your goods. This should earn you anywhere between $30,000 per year to $80,000. If you learn sewing and/or tailouring and/or shoe making, or have your sister learn those skills, you can triple your earnings. The $30,000 becomes $90,000 and the $80,000 becomes $2,40,000.

There are several vocational schools which impart tanning skill I'm sure. I'd recommend u learning tanning and your sister learning tailouring / sewing/ shoe making. Many hand tanners in the US buy skins from deer hunters. But of course, you can save even more costs if you do the hunting yourself. I think that in the US, hunting is seasonal business so it will be a good time to stock up. If u add chrome to the skin and refrigerate it, you can preserve the skin for up to 700 days. So, during deer hunting season, you'll have to stock up your goods.

Also, tanning applies to all skins starting from rabbit to cow to deer. It's a lucrative trade and the lifestyle you get by doing this is not too different from what you have in mind...and I recommend this because now, the business processes involved (from production to sales) will be managed by you and your sister. This will make your existing bonds even stronger, I'm sure...

So your depressed right? Well doing 'delics weekly is why. Dont ask why! It just is...

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I can show u guys who've been shrooming weekly for 60+ years. And I don't even want to get into their cannabis consumption habits. They're not depressed in the least bit and they're always having a very positive outlook in life. On top of all that these are village elders and they seem to be making better decisions for the village than any Harvard educated IMF or World Bank "regional expert."

I think you should just follow your intuition. Just quit until you feel okay about it again. Maybe you'll have time to explore other things, like meditation or yoga. Or crip-walking. Anything...

But if you listen to yourself, I think your guidance will lead you to what you need to do man.

naga_sadu said:

I can show u guys who've been shrooming weekly for 60+ years. And I don't even want to get into their cannabis consumption habits. They're not depressed in the least bit and they're always having a very positive outlook in life. On top of all that these are village elders and they seem to be making better decisions for the village than any Harvard educated IMF or World Bank "regional expert."

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Yeah well not everyone can handle it I'm pretty sure. I mean everyones different!

I know If I tripped every week I would be one fucked up shit. I think I've developed my depression from lsd honestly. I dont necessarily think It could only be chemical unbalance kind of depression . It can also be like how you see the world and realize shit and your like fuck...... just my 2 cents

Also Imo I think you should chilll out and walk the sober road for a lil bit just get your head clear. NEver hurts.

I think I've developed my depression from lsd honestly.

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Ah LSD... I dunno I've never done that reguarly honestly. Maybe 2x a year that's about it. And I don't do it anymore. I dunno 'bout synthetics too much. I was thinking shrooms. But you're right it affects ppls. differently but typically, I've found out that if u do it in an environment u like and are living a lifestyle compatible w/ what you have in mind, the chances of a "bad trip" or a "fuck up" is zero.

I did shrooms regularly in LA. Didn't work out too well. I was feeling all aloof, suicidal, depressed...in short, "fucked up." But now I'm not in that cosmo setup (I hate urban lifestyle) and whenever I take shrooms it opens my mind up really and makes me even more +ive on life and gives me new insight onto things. Dunno this is my honest feeling. But again, I'm only one human being and not some omnipotent entity...but I have noticed this trend quite heavily w/ peoples of different cultures and backgrounds.

Also Imo I think you should chilll out and walk the sober road for a lil bit just get your head clear. NEver hurts.

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Your right here. But it also depends on what's causing the depression/ problem in the first place. If it's an environmental thing...which is about 90% as to what I observed...changing it is prolly a better idea.

I woulda been a wreck if I was still living in the cosmopolitan culture (I hate cities). Sober, stoned or tripped out...I've tried.

Yeah I don't like cities that much... theres so much inherent stress and pollution... it seems like so much of our energy is just used to deal with this stress... I'm sure I would probably be happier and freer away from all of it.

Indicad2006 said:

Yeah I don't like cities that much... theres so much inherent stress and pollution... it seems like so much of our energy is just used to deal with this stress... I'm sure I would probably be happier and freer away from all of it.

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most peeps (like me ) ar FAR more happy bein away from all that bullshit.

but even bein' out of the loop your energy is displaced elsewhere.

some can work it out some cant.

Indicad2006:

More than anything, the mechanical lifestyle is what drove me nuts in cities. Also the fact that there's almost 0 time to develop close well knit interpersonal relationships. Now, I wouldn't be saying the truth if I said I didn't have my good times in places like LA. The glitz, 2-3 girls at 1ce nights, the money...it was there and I celebrated like a warlord, true enough but I simply couldn't settle in and sustain myself. Everything just got old as time went by and didn't seem so attractive anymore.

I dunno how to explain, but I always felt something which is far more valuable than materials and hedonistic fun always was lacking...it only caught on to me eventually tho. In the beginning, I loved cosmopolitan culture and towards the end, I was ready to accept death over it...