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Life calling/meaning (How did you find it?)

Demonic

New member
Hi everyone.
I hope i'm not dragging you in a bad mood by asking this feared and highly introspective question, but i've been kinda stuck in a bad loop for the last half decade and still didn't find anything for me...
I just wanted to know how you all found a life meaning/calling/passion - whatever you want to call it, in other words, the thing that really makes you want to get up the morning and fight your way in this life.
And if you feel like it, leave suggestions for people having trouble finding it (like the aforementioned). Thanks.
 
M

moose eater

As a kid, growing up, with the visions/dreams evolving over time, it was a matter of combination of conditioning, and the often/sometimes subconscious affect that can have on perspective and meaning, as well as values, visions of grandeur, and more.

Envisioning roles, interests, values put into action, etc. (*Maybe map some of this stuff out on paper, seriously).

Getting out of bed at that point for the sake of life.. Another day.. Some unexplained optimism at times, that made simple things very OK.

Then, later on, questioning where can this/I fit with minimal effort, and at the same time, desisting pursuit of some paths because of distrust of the self and abilities. Again, some conditioning in play, even at the point of which general path to take.

Trading convenience for dreams that might require a bit more sweat. Compromises that can haunt.

Finding a way to be, after many paths close or change, finding a fit.

Ultimately giving up on there being a magical fulfillment for everyone, and that sometimes it doesn't happen; at least not in this go-'round. Not for everyone.

Nearly every path can have the capacity to get old, no matter how much magic there might've been. Not everyone's, but for many.

Sometimes considering something totally off the wall, previously not thought of, etc. And if it feels dead at the outset, or some place into it, if you have the energy, get on a new track. And that can be a difficult time, too.

I tell folks that "I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up."

Niche or not, tomorrow's a new day. And the one after that, too. Until it's not.
 

aridbud

automeister
ICMag Donor
Veteran
Oh, I had several fantasy lives! In reality, I chose something I was interested in (as far as careers), and all my careers have centered around helping people: healthcare, education and now a different venture using those same career ladder rungs. When you volunteer or assist mankind, it puts a lot of puzzle pieces together, makes you feel worthy.

Never did I have any guidance from school counselors. I chose what I thought would make me happy, or have a sense of purpose.

Then having balance between career, I've been fortunate having good friends/relationships and family support (friendship, enthusiasm). Likewise, my recreational activities, I chose what I loved doing- being out in Nature, enjoying a good meal, learning something new everyday. As I grow older, I see I can't do what I did in my 20's-30's, yet find something to be passionate about.

Faith, although not overtly religious, I know or feel there's a 'higher power' and do what I can for the "best" of me.....everything else is incidental.

As I've grown older, I don't put up with the BS or excuses that people say/do when they choose not to fulfill a promise like I did when I was younger. And, I've said goodbye and best to you with toxic people in my life. It's exhausting to have an 'energy vampire' when you have unrelenting "downer people" in your life.

Think about what you'd really like to do (reality), and map out steps to attain it. School, training, a hobby....and if you need it, therapy, changing your life to a positive in small steady steps. Be satisfied with who you are and have quest to improve if you are in 'that dark place'. We're human, after all....we make mistakes. Own them. Ask for help. Enjoy small moments in Life.
 

Maple_Flail

Well-known member
simple.

Not accepting the phrase "No, you can't possibly do that." as pretty much every one that said that cannot logically answer the follow up question of "Why?"

SO chase Why... you get up in the morning, why and where you have and get your inspiration or imagination. Then Find out what makes you happy, if you can make a living off that you've found your calling for the moment. If you can't make a living from it, well now you know something that you didn't and your on to the next challenge.

Life is about Finding the answer, not, knowing it and then twiddling your thumbs.
 

Weird

3rd-Eye Jedi
Veteran
li-pasricha-pilot2.jpg
 

420somewhere

Hi ho here we go
Veteran
I grew up poor...

I grew up poor...

I guarantee you I know the value of a dollar.

When I got out of the Army, I went to college and got a degree in Business, Accounting. I told a female Professor I was going to write a computerized accounting system and she said I couldn’t do it.

I went to work for a CPA firm (pushing lead) where everything was still done by hand.

I hated it, I left the firm when I didn’t want join the firm (to be groomed for a partnership).

I bought a computer (before IBM PC) and wrote a Client Write-up Package for CPAs. It was successful and it launched my career. I went on to work with major players in the computer industry. I was a contractor working for the defense industry, sold the million dollar deal (Sperry VAR program) and was a Director for a Fortune 50 Medical Software Company for ten years.

It was a blast, doing what I really wanted to do.

That’s how I found my vision. I didn’t start out looking to get rich :party: But life’s been good to me.
 

Demonic

New member
I guarantee you I know the value of a dollar.

When I got out of the Army, I went to college and got a degree in Business, Accounting. I told a female Professor I was going to write a computerized accounting system and she said I couldn’t do it.

I went to work for a CPA firm (pushing lead) where everything was still done by hand.

I hated it, I left the firm when I didn’t want join the firm (to be groomed for a partnership).

I bought a computer (before IBM PC) and wrote a Client Write-up Package for CPAs. It was successful and it launched my career. I went on to work with major players in the computer industry. I was a contractor working for the defense industry, sold the million dollar deal (Sperry VAR program) and was a Director for a Fortune 50 Medical Software Company for ten years.

It was a blast, doing what I really wanted to do.

That’s how I found my vision. I didn’t start out looking to get rich :party: But life’s been good to me.

Wow. Congratulations and respect! ... Thanks for sharing. I liked programming too but as with everything else, i didn't find in me a special talent, i was pretty fast at learning the basics but too slow at grasping the more complex hardware and networking concepts.
I kinda tried a lot of things honestly. I started off with programming, i tried different languages, i tried web development etc.. but then i got bored. I tried (And i still do occasionally, when i don't feel too much shit) drawing... But i have no talent and i studied it and practiced it for over one year but i still am a noob, like, it looks like i started some months ago. Then i tried 3d modelling... Bored of that too. Then music composing, guitar, piano, i have all sorts of DAWs on my pc. Then i fkin got into blacksmithing ffs, but that required too much money to practice and got bored anyways. I looked up any job i could find in the mainstream job psychology websites and still not inspired about any one of them. Useless to say, if we bring up the Maslow's hierarchy of needs, i only got (at least, luckily) the first layer (the physiological one). I am now in need to go to an university and i still don't know a general picture of what i should do, what am i supposed to do... I mean, i can't just choose a random university and spend money on it without even knowing why...
The funny thing is that i have read so many things about self development, inspirational stuff, motivation, self discipline that i could help people solving the same problem i have, but still unable to do so with myself. As a matter of fact i tried doing countless exercises and writing down little life goals or envisions, but i couldn't get more specific, i only could generalize stuff...

Oh right, and people that got some problems with this life meaning/passion/ikigai thing are welcome to write down or vent (moderately) in this thread. This is my little contribution to the forum, i couldn't find any similar thread (or i just suck at searching too).


Also, guys sorry but i don't know how to quote more people in the same post and i don't want to flood the thread, so, i just implicitly quoted you.
 

GoatCheese

Active member
Veteran
.. and all my careers have centered around helping people: healthcare, education and now a different venture using those same career ladder rungs. When you volunteer or assist mankind, it puts a lot of puzzle pieces together, makes you feel worthy.

[...]

As I've grown older, I don't put up with the BS or excuses that people say/do when they choose not to fulfill a promise like I did when I was younger. And, I've said goodbye and best to you with toxic people in my life. It's exhausting to have an 'energy vampire' when you have unrelenting "downer people" in your life.
LOL!
..You make me wonder "who will heal the healers"

If you think some people can't find passion in life just because "they're making excuses", then you're just ignorant = you have chosen to ignore the fact that some people aren't like you.

And it's the other people who are the toxic vampires, right.
 

GoatCheese

Active member
Veteran
Seeking passion and seeking love is abit the same thing, but are you sure you're ever gonna "find" it by seeking it, or are those things the kind that will just happen? So are you trying too hard to find things?
Sure you're never gonna find a boy/girl friend by sitting at home, but dating lots of people isn't going to guarantee you'll find love either.
-
-

You Demonic and most people who replied here seem to associate life passion/meaning with WORK , but for some people it's not a work-related thing.

I never have wanted to be anything, and it can be frustrating when you can't figure out what you'd WANT to do. So work has become the necessary evil for me, but i don't even bother to think about it anymore; Just keep on grinding it out, don't think about how shitty your job is and enjoy your free-time.

So, Demonic are you sure it's the best way that you try to "find passion and make a pay check" out of the same thing? Maybe you should try to figure out what you're willing to do for a pay check and then focus on finding passion/meaning on your free-time. I think you should figure this out before you commit yourself to expensive education.
 

aridbud

automeister
ICMag Donor
Veteran
@ Goat Cheese...just sayin' what I've experienced. In essence, what WEIRD's diagram shows. Yes, I've been in professions full of excuses (failure, lack of drive). And toxic people can affect your psyche. To each their own.

Find passion of something and run with it!
 
M

moose eater

I see a lot of truth in Goat Cheese's 2nd post.

I've liked cooking at times. Sometimes more than others, and often more a matter of how I'm feeling about life in general.

And while I could have attempted to make some good jing as a chef, the fact is that in food service, probably more so than many occupations, the demandingness, complaints, impatience, hustle of it, etc. would likely rob the joy of something I love to do for myself and persons close to me.. so I kept cooking as something more private, that I held back from doing much of for money. Although that 'love' has, as stated, shrunk a bit with life views.

I once loved growing weed, and it fed me and mine fairly well, filling in gaps after my professional career ended. But the stress, and other factors, took something that I loved or enjoyed, and turned it into something mundane or taxing.

And then there's differentiating between indecision or lack of finding a path, versus being truly depressed, maybe not knowing it, and the circular tail spin that can bring, where nothing seems interesting, everything seems boring, etc. There's things you can do to address that, too, but those take energy and motivation, both of which are/can be impacted when depressed.

Some of us just get by as best we can now.

I tell my adult kids, and my remaining teenager, to look at jobs that you can feel OK with your beliefs, your true values, 'cause in the long run, when it's quiet, and you ask yourself what you did/do, absent the white noise, you'll know if you sold yourself short, sold yourself out, or what ever.
 

Demonic

New member
Seeking passion and seeking love is abit the same thing, but are you sure you're ever gonna "find" it by seeking it, or are those things the kind that will just happen? So are you trying too hard to find things?
Sure you're never gonna find a boy/girl friend by sitting at home, but dating lots of people isn't going to guarantee you'll find love either.
-
-

You Demonic and most people who replied here seem to associate life passion/meaning with WORK , but for some people it's not a work-related thing.

I never have wanted to be anything, and it can be frustrating when you can't figure out what you'd WANT to do. So work has become the necessary evil for me, but i don't even bother to think about it anymore; Just keep on grinding it out, don't think about how shitty your job is and enjoy your free-time.

So, Demonic are you sure it's the best way that you try to "find passion and make a pay check" out of the same thing? Maybe you should try to figure out what you're willing to do for a pay check and then focus on finding passion/meaning on your free-time. I think you should figure this out before you commit yourself to expensive education.

You are right. There are more kinds of passions, but i actually mean life passion as something to do, whether it can give you money or not. For me, i would like to be particularly good at something i love doing at the point where i can live by doing that thing or something related. E.g: someone's passion is 2d art, let that be drawing, but that person earns money by doing graphic design Or someone who loves drawing houses or architectural stuff and earns money by being an architect.

Totally agree on the figuring this out before going to spend money for education, that is why it is so important to me right now...

Another way i meant life meaning is just that some people really need a reason to keep living, like me... Why do i have to bother trying to survive? What's the reason behind the grind? Did i just suffer since i the beginnings in my memory for nothing? Why should i keep suffering? Just to be useful to someone else by doing something i don't like for some paper?
I don't know if i'm clear enough (partly because of my bad english, lol).

For me life passion is literally that thing that should keep me going, something to pursue, instead of having suicidal thoughts, something i can't live without.

I know some people would grind for their partner, or because they have another kind of goal in mind. But for me, being a totally loner, it's just what i wrote above..

(Again, sorry for the bad flow of my syntax )
 

green404

Member
I just wanted to know how you all found a life meaning/calling/passion - whatever you want to call it, in other words, the thing that really makes you want to get up the morning and fight your way in this life.
And if you feel like it, leave suggestions for people having trouble finding it (like the aforementioned). Thanks.

I am a Jack of Many Trades. I have never had or found "the" thing I was born to do and I am not sure if their is "the" calling for me.

A couple of thoughts on it.

People's passion and calling is not always profitable. Most of the time it is a hobby.
We all hear those story book stories about how someone found their calling and became "successful" a few were lucky and many are full of BS.. I have heard many insurance salesmen, realtors and other sales minded individuals claim it was a "calling".
These stories are also called a "mission statement" and "marketing" by many.

Look for things you enjoy or might enjoy always and everywhere.. you never know where you might find that great life experience. Most likely it will be where you least expect it.
 

Gry

Well-known member
Had a kidney go septic on me as the result of cancer. What they found after they opened me up resulted in my being told to go home and let nature take it's course.

The effect on my blood chemistry or whatever changed me.
A lot of memory got lost, most of which has come back.

Cannabis has been more than a comfort and a blessing.
 

superpedro

Member
Veteran
I suffered from depressions a lot when I was younger.
Lived in different big cities in the EU, had "exciting" job, and always had to be very social. Full speed ahead for a year or two. Then 4-5 years of steady decline in mood, ending in a heavy depression. Lack of motivation for anything. (sounds like you?)
The help I got from a doctor, was a lot of different pills. Did change something, but not to my liking.

It took me a long time to get to the realization, that my ambitions didn't match my nature. I´m quite the introvert. Spend my young life with a fishing pole, and really stuck with a few good friends, and didn't really enjoy the company of many people for a long time.
Later as hormones took over, I guess I was drawn to a social lifestyle, and with alcohol, it really worked for a night. With girls and party-friends came ambitions.
Well - long story short. From being a farm kid, I suddenly found myself working as a sound engineer in a big studio in Barcelona, with a heavy depression.
My ambitions didn't match my nature, and nothing in my life at the time could make me happy. It took me a while to realize. And hitting rock-bottom, is having to move back in with your parents as a 30-year-old.
But luckily I found my old fishing pole, and it pointed me in the right direction.
Live on an old farm now. Everything cheap. Wife, kid and an outdoor job, that pays enough, but no fortune. Getting away from an environment where social behavior was forced on me, has actually made me more social. It's very easy to enjoy Nabours if they live 500m away.
I´m a very happy man now. No sign of any depression, and with no medication. (Besides the smoke)

This is not a cure for everyone. But if you can think of anything you would rather be doing. GO DO IT. Leave it all behind if it doesn't make you happy.

BTW: I did find some strains of cannabis made depression worse. Perhaps seek advice on specific good anti-depression strains.
 

armedoldhippy

Well-known member
Veteran
meaning of life/calling? not sure if i ever found one. i just try to be good to other folks, help when i can, be as nice as possible. i raised my kids up telling them "it costs you nothing to be nice to folks, and it WILL pay off..." i wave at every farmer out in his fields to this day. a couple of times, they have pulled my vehicle out of their pond/creek/barbed wire fence & laughed about it because, although they did not "know" me, they recognized my vehicle. life is too short to be an asshole, or deal with them...:tiphat:
 

mayorofthdesert

Active member
for me it was a heroin habit that took everything i ever worked for away and left me with no desire to live. 5 years clean now & iv'e learned to be happy with nothing. i'm poorer than i've ever been since college but i'm content just to be alive. i volunteer 8 hours
most weeks at a long term treatment facility teaching guys how to weld, best 8 hours of the week. does me so much good, probably more than it helps the guys.
 

k-s-p

Active member
Veteran
“A man must know his destiny… if he does not recognize it, then he is lost. By this I mean, once, twice, or at the very most, three times, fate will reach out and tap a man on the shoulder… if he has the imagination, he will turn around and fate will point out to him what fork in the road he should take, if he has the guts, he will take it.”

― George S. Patton Jr.
 
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