Another Crappy Day in Paradise....Embracing the Suck.

I really didn't want it to come to this.... we already have a "Crap I have to deal with" thread....it's not like we need another.

And yet....here we are.

There ain't much that can be done, except to unfuck what was fucked, stiff upper lip and all that rubbish....and then carry on.

So that's what I'm gonna do.

Aloha, Boys and Girls...

Welcome to yet another, another crappy day in paradise. For those of you new to this never ending series, this is where we ask the musical questions....

How big we gonna screw the pooch this year? Who's gonna get hurt? Will someone go down in smoke and flames? And who will cruse all the way to the easy street?

I've been doing this legally for five years and illegally for decades. This ain't my first rodeo.

And yet....

I have no clue how this year will go. I don't have an idea, or even an inkling, Learned long ago, that gods laughs at the plans of both mice and men, therefore we just play it as the cards are dealt.

This is an outdoor grow., We are at the mercy of the elements. Long stretch of rain? I whine. Lots of sun? I gloat. Two common threads you will find overrepresented here. Let's hope you see more of the latter and less of the first.

Anyway....First post is always the hardest. There is a lot of crap to cover, none of which I will...here. Later, sure. Just not here, not now. Most of you know the way this log works. I have been known to wander. Entirely possible. This thread can not be hijacked. You want it? It's yours. Take it where you will, care for it like you stole it. Slap your pics up. Return it wrecked....who cares? Turn the page.

So, for all you newbes to this clusterfuck, Let's do the who, what, where, why, and how.

Where? Start easy. A few acres, three thousand and a few more feet up on the West Southwest side of Haleakala, on the island of Maui, in the People's Republic of Hawaii.

Why do I do this? Even easier!
a) I like to eat....the money ain't bad.
b) I have no marketable job skills....except a green thumb.
c) Not real good with people....even anti-social, yet I do get a tingle when I'm able to help others in my chosen endeavor.
d) Cannabis grows real well here, didn't anybody tell you? It's a fuckin' weed!

Who?...Do you really want to go there? Didn't think so.

Now for the What and the How.

Fuck you guys....Wait like the rest of us.

Try read... That's what I'm trying to do here. And you will find out a hair after I figure it out....if at all.

Since the man or woman upstairs...I'm leaning towards a she....likes to crush the soul out of any elaborate plans I come up with at the start of the year....I don't even bother to anymore.

Ask me what I'm growing this year? I don't know. I don't care. Something will present itself, I'll latch on, ride that fucker to the point it was my idea, embrace it, claim it, and enjoy the cheers of the multitude....as I ride down the avenue, offerings thrown at my feet.

Dream much? Yea Baby!

I can already hear what your thinking.

"Oh fuck! Yummy is back." Could be.

And with that Intro leaving so much to be desired....we launch this bastard straight into 2014....already in progress.

JEEZUZZZ P CHRIST.... Who do I gotta blow to get it to stop raining? This is bullshit! Twenty days of rain in Febuary. A storm or two every week. Who painted everything Neon Green? Where the fuck is my garden? Under all this green stuff? Ohhh Shittt Nooo....that means I gotta get rid of all this crap just to find dirt. Too green to burn. Damn it! That's work!

Change gears...No log is complete without a long line of excuses and reasons.

Now....

I could blame the current, stunning, lack of production on the miserable weather...and I could happily live with that lie. Blame it all on the weather....it would fly. You'd believe me. I know you would. But it would be a lie. That's right. A lie. The truth of the matter is the past few months I've fucked ...and I do mean fucked up every thing I touch. Cloner pump broke, a month for a new one to get here. Spider mites, Pure unadulterated laziness, on my part, the monkey needing to be scraped off my back and all the crap that comes with it, wifey's seed project and clone run, taking over my growroom, endless rain, escaping dogs, bla bla bla.

Long story short, You ain't missed anything the past few months. The endless rain fucked everything up.

About a month ago....I unfucked it all. Threw wifey and all her garbage out of my room. Believe me, that didn't go over well, but it had to go. With her shit down the road it allowed me to double the number of plants under lights. Now we have room to play with. Sprayed and bombed the room, now we got the mojo back. Starts are replaced, and now where they should be. About a week to go before we can start filling up the holes and terraces.

Now, before the goddess upstairs urinates all over me this is what will probably happen. Start with clones, lots of clones, gotta burn some time until the photoperiod lengthens enough for the big plants. About May we'll start trees. And this is usually where I get into trouble.

See...

If I had half a brain I'd just monocrop Skunkdog clones until Christ came back around again. Do the math, fourteen plants every month, each averaging six apiece....beats a sharp stick in the eye. But no....Instead of this.....





I want this.



or this...



more greed




See? You get the idea. Slight difference in yield there. I'm inclined to swing for the fences. I could see twentyeight of these. That works out just fine on this end. I could also see a problem with MPD and a visit too. Also entirely possible. You don't want to be this guy....



Anyway guys....the first post is in the books. The adventure begins...give me a few seconds and I'll come up with more clichés.

Maybe later.

nice post newb here looking forward to this, ye i know how you feel about the rain. on average it rains 2 out of 3 days here.

good luck hope it all works out for you.

may your buds grow tall and the sun shine strong....

i still got cyclones circling....so i am a month or so away....if i am lucky....

tagged for another great season brah!

you are a madman!

good to know im not alone!

looking forward to seeing more madness

I enjoyed your last journal, so I'm signing up for this one too.

Big up! It was fun to have a session in Oprah's drive way!

Bummer about your weather, OH. But it seems your crappy stuff went north of us here in Vegas, and we've been enjoying 70 degree days for a month now. But in all fairness, daylength didn't increase with the good weather, nor did the wind decrease. I did put a GDP outside yesterday, just for giggles-n-grins. A tad early here, but I had an abundance of sexed seedlings, and not enough room indoors. I'm going to have my half of my Nevada limit of adults outside this year. Any tips...? <kidding>

Personally...I run into tollerance issues when I stick with one strain. Get's boring growing the same shit all the time anyway, lol. (and of course...the grass is always greener...)

Do ya think Hawaii will legalize cannabis for recreational before Obama moves there? Just wonderin' where your legislature and their buddies the feds are headed. Any cuts in the GH budget this year? Wishful thinking, huh?

Great idea getting your whining out at the beginning. Cleanses the thread, lol. I'm glad that gardening isn't a team sport. A few years back I was diagnosed with Social Panic Disorder. (social anxieties) Likely I got this disease mainly because most people suck. Anyway...social anxieties seem to be a common affliction these days. Personally...I find it sorta helps ease the anxieties, by charging those people that suck the most, an extra $10.00 a gram. (the "you-suck" surcharge) <kidding>

Best of luck to you, my friend. May the tradewinds bring-in another bountiful season. Did I mention I have a trimming service if it's too much for you to handle...?

OH Have to say the weather has been good here. Most of it stopped at your house. Not today though raining hard.
Last Thursday I heard that Oh so familiar sound, and got a call from my neighbor and the silver was flying grids up high, Friday I saw them. kind of early. Well this is their last year of power. hope we get another bucket head photo this year lol
Aloha DB

Cheeee-huuuu. From da slopes af Haleakala .....let's get it started.......dab and flo.

New here. subbed and ready for lift off.

Maui no ka oi.

you greedy fucking guy hahahaha
my favorite

come by tomorrow for a wax session with the Upline

the sickness is gone
the glass is sterile
the wax is peanut buttery good

you know the drill...
laters

Fourtysix and these Two AM Posts are Killing Me

Fourtysix and these Two AM Posts are Killing Me

Jeez....What good a little sun does for the old body. As I mentioned in the first post these logs do have a way of morphing into a whine or a gloat....today we're going with gloat.

Hey....It's sure better than a whine.

Three days of perfect. After umpteen days of slop, mud, and mold, just pure misery, I had almost forgotten why we live here. And even better, it looks like the trade winds are kicking up, and we have the streak of nice weather continuing well into next week. Unfortunately, until the jet stream moves a thousand miles North, back to it's normal Summer track, we can't allow the gloat to stick around for very long. The rain isn't done....just postponed.

My shadow's
shedding skin
I've been picking
at my scabs again.

I'm down
digging through
My old muscles
looking for a clue

The last few months haven't been a total bust....close, but not scrap everything and start over bad. Of course we saved the genetics. Shit, the house could be on fire.

"Honey, Your on your own! I gotta save the genetics!"

And we added a few new flavors to the mix. And while we're grasping at straws, looking for anything positive about the last couple of months, I can say everything has been very extensively stress tested.

So what worked?

The same old same old....here's what worked.

Skunkdog.
Alien Dog.
Guerilla Glue.

Over the winter I dumped Triangle Kush and the Unknown OG. The Triangle suffered a terminal case of ehhh, and if you breathed heavily on the Unknown, a branch would bust off and fall onto the dirt.

Out with the old, in with the new.

We also ran....and pulled through some Gogi OG



Some old Skunk.



And a Blueberry Hash.



And we have the usual hanger ons and maybes. A Northern Skunk, a Cheesy Thai, a Blue Dream/Urkle cut fresh off the boat, a couple of wife's Guerilla Glue crosses, and even a Black Domina that makes a killer oil.

Of the four Japaneese Hash plant phenotypes I ran last year one came through with colors flying. That made this year's line up. Also gonna try the Valley OG....it seems to do well for Greyskull.

Speaking of the devil....I just gotta say thanks.

Thank you guys on the mainland for sending us Greyskull. Usually the idiots that you send us leave much to be desired. In fact we often quickly send them back in worse shape than we found them. In Grey's case we, indeed, got the better end of the deal. Your loss. Maui's gain.

And by the way, It's too damn late, we already broke him, then fixed him, so he can't live anywhere else.... a process I went through many years ago, so I can assure you it is relatively painless... and very, very, permanent.

Moving along....

Got any more gloat left?

Need you even ask?



I love my....and I do mean LOVE, my new light room. Room for 60 plants. Twenty in kindergarten, twenty in grade school and twenty in high school Five shelves,and some floorspace, all with a nice cheap shop lights. An EZ cloner gets roots started. Plant the clones in FFOF and start the clock. Clones start in 16 oz solo cups. The second I can pop them out and see a root, they get up potted into 4 inch pots. Pull'em to the next shelf down. There they sit for 10 days or until a spot at the next level opens up. Then into a #2 pot for another 10 days. Then finally to the bottom and into an 11 litre pot for the next two weeks. I do not top. Just constant up potting and shelf shuffling. In five weeks I'm shooting for a 24 inch plant, happily in the garden. Should take 35 days. Fourty max. Any more than that and your runs will start to bleed into each other. Not good if you are ruled by plant counts like we are.

I've been crawling on my belly
Clearing out what could have been
I've been wallowing in my own confused
and insecure delusions.
For a piece to guide me over
Or a word to guide me in.
I wanna' feel the changes commin' down.
I want to know what I've been hiding in.

Keep in mind this room is only for nights. In the day we use the BIG free light provided to all. The only drag is that is that the starts don't move themselves outside.

Oh well...it keeps me busy.

Now to the comments from the gallery.

GreeeeN...thanks and welcome.

Ozzie...nice to see you again. Our Hurricane Season starts in May. More crap to look foreward too.

pono....Plenty Mahalos. Still would like to know where you got that Haleiwa sign shown in some of your pics. Gotta be a good story there.

yourcorpse....who told you that?...I'm not mad...Mad is such a harsh term. I prefer delusional thank you very much.

hush....thank you.

Backyard...yea, that was fun wasn't it? Gotta be on someones' bucket list, huh? Smoking out in Oprah's driveway. That don't happen often.

Rusty....Glad to know you are keeping Nevada green. If ever there was a place that needed to be green Nevada is it.

Tolerance issues? Grey got me smoking oil and tolerance issues are a thing of the past. My only regret is it took me 50+ years to find it.

Hawaii legalize? Give me ten minutes to laugh hysterically. It would take balls to introduce AND pass that bill....something that is seriously lacking in our legislature. We'd be lucky...or NOT...to get a dispensary allowed this year. Just like LGBT marriage, Hawaii does not lead, it follows.

Green Harvest? State had a good year so the money is there. But this is the last year of the mature/immature garbage they foist on us each season. Gotta admit...no clue there as to what GH will bring.

Rusty....you know how this works.

I have not yet begun to whine.

DB...funny the way that works. This year the fronts got this far, then sat on Maui for an extra three or four days....dissipating is what they call it. I call it pissed on for a week. GH is up? Wonderfuckinful. We need that like a Tabasco enema.

Casper....allow me to introduce you to your new alter-ego Shoots. Shoots, this is Casper. Since both of you speak the same language I think you will both get along swimmingly.

Grey...see ya tom....oh shit. See ya later this morning.

Now everybody eat a sunset from Hell.



I've been crawling on my belly.
Clearing out what could've been.
I've been wallowing in my own chaotic
and insecure delusions.
I want to feel the change consume me
Feel the outside turning in.
I want to feel the metamorphosis and
Cleansing I've endured within.

Change is coming

Now is my time.

great looking veg room simple but very effective, at least you have a helper with your plants nice looking dog i love looking at outdoor grows. its 100 humidity here nearly all year round well its always high hard to get them finished.

is that your own poem you wrote ?

bro rocking the 46 & 2
wow
pretty deep action
making me smile

thanks for the kind words my friend.

i am really glad you (and I) got the veg rooms remodeled. we (you me and casper...bandit too!) should be rewarded justly.
with big burly pea sized dabbs of "no you don't. sit here for a while"

I would be pleasantly surprised of that blue dream/urkle comes out okay. but im still not over opening the box and pulling out a bunch of sativa looking cuts when i was expecting... something different. like, something i know for sure id want to smoke haha. like the pure purple urkle i was told to expect. at least the cuts that rooted and didnt turn to spinach look healthy. i am thinking those are gonna stretch 2-3x and yeild pretty well. but thats what the sender told me. of course he also said he was gonna send us just the straight urk too and we see how that went. ha. not trying to look a gift horse in the mouth but i am kicking the tires pretty hard and taking a running start.

DID YOU SAY YOUR WIFE'S GLUE CROSSES? What'd she do/use?

So lets get super serious for a minute...
DRONES
I have been hearing chatter about folks seeing drones flying overhead. especially the last 2-3 weeks. granted, its only been folks in town moving their lips about it, but figured might as well bring it up and get some other thoughts on the 'phenomenon'...

Also, anyone out there in internet land know how the Blue Card Invitational turned out? It was supposed to be Feb 22 on Oahu....

Man the pictures of your outdoor land are beautiful. I need to get back up country. have a couple close friends in your area. They stay getting bline. One day I might be a old haole over there. I always show choke aloha, I'm no ignorant haole.

About the drones, things really freak me out. and they are here where I stay out in cali.

A Whole Lotta Nuthin'...

A Whole Lotta Nuthin'...

What are we doing tonite?

Whine or gloat?

Try neither....Hang on, maybe just a little small gloat. A tiny drop in a sea of gloat. Here we go.

The first Skunkdog clone of the new unfucked run is ready. It goes into dirt tomorrow morning. Twenty-four inches in five weeks. One down, three, four, five hundred to go....

You think I'm joking?

Nuff gloat already.... let's not go there.



The rest of this is more just my mental masturbation. It's late and I really have nothing better to do....If you looking for quality, ignore this post....shit, ignore this whole damn thread.

GreeeN....you piqued my curiosity. Where is here, within a few hundred miles?

And if you think I wrote that poem, it would mean I'm the lead singer for the band Tool, and everyone is pissed at me because I haven't put any new music out in forever....though I keep promising to do just that.

Since you are new here I'll let you in on what everyone already knows. I am one cheap bastard. Even uglier....I'm proud of it.

Grey....The C-99 blended with Skunkdog....that's a damn good oil. I came home and took a nap....It lived up to it's "No you don't, sit right here." billing.

The kind words are also known as the truth. I had no problem raining on your parade while you were dialing everything in. Hell, I took a perverse pleasure from it. Now that everything is awesome....I gotta acknowledge it. And at the risk of overcomplimentation.....is that a word?....the new room rocks too.

As for the Ehhhhrkle....It rooted easy, it's growing strong, if it sucks we just send it down the hill. Let Mikey buy it....oh sorry, I meant try it.

And for the record, you should have seen the look on your face when that came. It was like you expected an X-box for Christmas and instead you got socks. Bummer Dude! There are very few things left to take perverse pleasure from anymore. Still have that.

As for drones....we already talked about this. And by we, I mean all of us. Most of it was great material, but mangled by me in transcription. We've come to the conclusion the scare the hell out of us. Shit, some of the evil ideas we came up with if I wrote them down would probably get us an official visit from an alphabet agency.

On the other hand they could also be used for good. We also agreed that the government would in the end keep them for themselves and ban them for everyone else.

Hello Captain Obvious!

Drones will be a problem down the road, or even tomorrow.

Deal with it.

Shoots...Never said you were an ignorant haole. Sorry about the joke earlier at your expense. Just that Casper signs off on his texts with "shoots", so it was directed towards him. Besides Casper is a pretty cool person....you could know worse people.

subscribed, keep up the good work

Haha I am gonna gloat about dis. Na.

Mahalos for the introduction to the site old haole. It can be hard to squeeze in these forums sometimes.

I want to silverback my way up to the mtns now. It has been on my mind for a few years now.

Gloat on I love the humor in your posts.

Howzit OH. U thought you were out of the woods with three days of sunshine. I bet ur stoked about the high winds and rain forecasted this weekend (probably not). Greyskull and I are taking cracks.

Is this the most kona storms you can remember? Seems more than usual as well as all this rain.

Anyways good luck on this year. I'll be popping in with the weather reports. Aloha.