[_tessarecting]

This year marks my 10 year anniversary from the day I set off to first do this!

Funny how spring is almost here but where's the spring fever? Do you feel it? Or has something in the way the air feels changed?

I got lost. Lost out in the garden in the weeds. Lost in the minor details of good enough's perfectionism. How far can I take this---I asked myself---and finally at the end of the road in the middle of nowhere it started to push back like an avalanche does during a blizzard.

We've watched all these years the markets downward sometimes almost steady flux. We'd sit and smoke joints and try to map out the trajectory like it was a meteor coming for us a million billion trillion miles away. Something we could muse over but leave the worries back where they belonged at the dawn of sobriety.

5 years? 10? Surely not this season. Surely they'll still let us grow our meds. Hit this, pass that, and thanks. A pound still needs to be trimmed. That costs money. A dollar a gram? No way. I need this plant. I can't live without it. I eat it two or three times a day for pain, neuropathies, muscle spasms, inflammation, & more. I'm good at this---I'm a shoe-in---people are always going to need skilled ganjafarmers. I'm on the right path like I always have been. Right?

Yeah I read the news with a heavy heart. Banned in Calaveras. Bring on the few hundred lawsuits that even made it that far after all that. California dreamin' of the billions in tax revenue yet is completely delusional about the impacts the broken system will have on our society as they masquerade around this fraudulent legalization with another recession looming like a gear cog in the not-so-distance. According to Counterpunch, Humboldts got some grease on their hands out in the TBZ. Sound familiar? What good has any of this really done if it's all used as another layer of corruption?

I couldn't even keep up with the prices this past year or so. Every time I contacted a dispensary I got shut down for what I was asking only to be appalled at the response. 23 for indoor went to 21 then 16 after electrical went up now I hear 900?? Outdoor for 500 or 600? Lol.

Maybe if you're new to this game you got wide dollar signs for eyes maybe you've been a wage slave your entire life and think you've finally found freedom? Politician-pocketing sociopathy: Whoever has the most numbers at the top of the pyramid wins.

Well it's easy to see it's going to be super-proprietary just like everything else but I can buy weed almost anywhere and it's supposedly 'better' now? Hmmm... Cannabis looks like an overregulated mystical hype grape now. The major profits are going to go to the mass producers who can shell out the six or seven figures to probably just go bankrupt after a while anyway.

Fuck it! Who actually wants to operate on that kind of scale and loss? I know I don't and can't anyway. Its not like nuts where you just shake a tree or tomatoes you just pick off and sell. Sure you can go work for the megateam. But is that what you want? To be a dirty beat up expendable farm hand with carpal tunnel and social anxiety? A rogue delivery driver with a target on your back and no concept of time? Or a 'partner' in a corporate weed company with an uncertain future? I hear the prices are better Up North. I just moved there. But for the first time in my life I feel like leaving this season to the rest of y'all.

Even WAMM can't afford to legally donate a hunnerd pounds of meds under this current tax scheme. 200k for giving the shit away to people who would be dead without it. To me this alone screams failure and desperate need for rebellion & reform. Will these idiots come to their senses or not and leave it to the highest burned out tech billionaire bidders?

It's been fun; Like an ever-evolving maze. It's been hard; I basically lost every farm I ever had until I finally walked away from the last one. I thought I just needed dental work, no, trigeminal neuralgia, fibromyalgia, that explains a lot. I'll never do that kind of hard labor in this busted body again. It's been necessary though; I don't know how else I could have survived the past 10 years. It's been a trip; There's really nothing like knowing you're right where you need to be. Even at the cost of feeling like a witch and even being hunted down for being so. Perhaps in some ways that's all the severance I'll ever need.

I feel honored in a weird vague way and filled with a decade of gratitude to have been able to work with the land and the elements and the medicine and some of you for so long despite how hard it was for me. It felt real. It felt like I was doing the right thing providing myself and others what we needed and a mostly humble life along the way. I did the best I could. Some people loved my weed and I did too because I got a lot of help from y'all and I never stopped learning and tinkering around with the multitudes of free time I can look back and smile knowing I spent as wisely as I could.

To every farmer out there still planting this season and the next I commend you. May your buds be moldless and dank af (give up if they're not at this point). Remember as your counties flounder, "research", and essentially experiment on you: without a warrant they have nothing. A camera can be more powerful than a gun depending on which ways it's pointing.

[geneva_sativa]

Hey _tessarecting

You been missed around here, amigo

Always appreciated your opinions and input regarding what has been happening with the cannabis scene this past few years.

Many find it hard to believe what direction it has taken. . . even when told flat out what would happen. . . and where are all the "supporters" saying how great it will all be ?

I know trigeminal neuralgia is not fun. . . my mother has issues with that. Hope you will get your body enough rest and the regeneration it needs this year.

Wishing you the best, and a blessed 2018 !!!

[Humboldt-hermit]

Your words ring true. I have the exact same feelings. Most likely will not plant this year

[Mtn. Nectar]

can feel the pain goin' on 42nd season outdoors.......

best in the challenge.........

ganj on........

[Rolling Stoner]

I hear you Tess. Selling our 20 acres in El Dorado county at the end of the month. The numbers just don't work out anymore, at least for me. Good luck to you man.

[Shcrews]

I am constantly shocked and saddened by the brutal conditions in this global culture of exploitation. I try not to talk about it much. It seems to be getting worse, as now basically the entire planet is open for these globalists who seek to control every natural resource, every government, and every potential "market".

I fought so hard to get to this point with my own small ganja farm in the foothills. Been evicted from several places, been robbed at gunpoint more than once, been arrested several times, been shot at, lost tens of thousands of dollars, lost friends, lost crops, lost sleep, spent years alone on a mountain, or driving countless miles. We dont plan to stop now, although it is less profitable (and fun) these days. I feel an obligation to push through this season and crush it harder than ever before.


I didn't start growing to be a millionaire. All i ever wanted was to answer to nobody, the freedom to create something to give to the world and make it a better, cooler place. The ability to survive without compromising my morals or deferring my dreams. Cannabis gave me these things and much more, it is truly a healing plant which should be allowed to spread freely. Despite its increasing corporatization I will always preach the benefits of cannabis to any who will listen.

The Cali weed game was a bubble of hope floating on a sea of despair. that bubble is bursting and we are all on a race to the bottom. what's left? nobody wants to be a rock star. not since napster. maybe an app designer?

good to see you're still alive at least. miss you buddy, hope you find some peace in these hard times.

[Triplemfarms]

Damn i think that's the saddest, most poigniant spot on real shit ive seen in a long time. After 7yrs in the game i am feeling the struggle, just as you laid it out. And what are we to do? Go be wage slaves again? As big marihuana moves in I fear theres no other way. Feeling this dream slip from my fingers...

[Edit]
Much respect and love to those who have come before me, blazed the trail and made it possible for me to be my own boss, amswer to no one and live FREE. im sure as sick as i feel, it must be 10 times worse for some. Thank you

[shawkmon]

uggg . i feel ya. ive sunk so low im now trying to grow hemp