My daughters friend, need advise

Ny daughter is 11 and has a myspace account. she is a good kid, plays sports etc. from time to time one of the older kids sends something a little too adult but I am fine with it. Mostly they like this boy or something like that

But this one girl who is only 12, is off the chain. One bulletin she was cursing some girl out about some little girl stuff, but I mean she came out and said shit, ****, bitch right in the bulletin. she also sends bulletins that say "send me shittttt" These are all words that come out of my mouth but not what I expect from a 12 y/o to send around

The latest bulletin is a chain bulletin that is passed along and the poster is supposed to post whether they think the last poster is a virgin or not. Thats it for me. I am pretty liberal, allow my kids to do alot that other parents dont etc etc. But my kid doesnt need to be seeing posts about kids who may or may not be virgins. Not at 11

And her mom is on her friends list so her mom GETS all these bulletins.

I want to delete her as my daughters friend so she doesnt get these bulletins anymore. Who knows what the next one will be.


Do I just delete it and have my daughter say nothing? Then the other girl may not know why and may take it personally and they play sports together. That may start a whole teeny bopper drama. Do I tell the mom (who I know) why and let her explain it to her daughter however she wants?

Do one or the other, but I would probably explain it to both kids and the mom.

A situation with a few choices...caution...

A situation with a few choices...caution...

If you don't want your daughter exposed to that kind of retarded nonsense, delete her MySpace account entirely (though she'll always be exposed to it anyway as she gets older and more involved with the real world.) Either way, she will be exposed to it sooner or later in a community like that. I was cussing and things of that nature at age 12-13 so it isn't completely unnatural, especially when you consider the child's home life. Some parents are extremely liberal and allow their kids to cuss, snap back and indulge in all the usual teenage drama on a regular basis. You could technically delete that friend from her list but it may cause more trouble than it's worth (although it is an option, I suppose.) Whatever you do, make sure you explain it and your logic.

just let it go. kids will do what they want to do anyway. you won't stop your daughter from doing anything. the only things you'll accomplish are 1. complicating your daughter's life, ruining her friendship, etc. and 2. stressing yourself out.

The only thing you can do as a parent is be there when your child comes to you for help.

It doesn't matter what you do to prevent your daughter from seeing these things. It doesn't matter how hard you try to keep this "filth" away from your daughter, she is still going to see it. If not at home, than at school. The only thing you will succeed in doing is appearing like a tyrant. Your daughter's friend is 12 and at that age kids cuss for no apparent reason; they cuss because they think it is cool. It is all just a phase and it is only going to get worse. As she gets older you are going to get bombarded with worse things that myspace bulletins. Just talk to your daughter like an adult, that is all they really want. Try not to boss her around. Just talk to her like she was one of your friends, let her know that her friend is obviously immature. The problem with any kids at this age is that they are always trying to do what is the cool thing to do, and at that age cussing and talking about sex is cool.

I would not delete her myspace account, because she is only going to be pissed at you and create one behind your back. If you want your daughter to become a level headed, mature individual then you have to treat her like one. Do not delete her account. I'm assuming your wife has an account to stay in contact with her friends, but if she has an account solely to watch over her daughter, then I would consider deleting your wife's account. Your daughter is going to come into contact with a lot of things that you would consider inappropriate. But it important to remember to let your daughter run her own life and determine what the correct decision is.

When I was your daughter's age, my parents let me cuss around them. My parents pretty much let me do anything I wanted, to an extent. I could drink if I was around them. But we had developed such a good relationship that I was able to tell my parents anything! I talked to my mom about anything I could think of. I even told her when I lost my virginity when I was barely older than your daughter. IMO, I would try to develop a more friendship based relationship with your daughter, then a parent based relationship. At that age girls are going through a lot of emotional baggage, that probably won't leave until she is out of high school.

delete her stupid myspace acct. ....if it's on your comp. or monitor it daily (your not gonna monitor it daily)

if she's resourceful enuff and cares about it enuff then she'll figure it out on her own....and i suppose respect that if she doesnt get into trouble.

just hope her and yummy dont hook-up.

wow daisy jane, you really are a slut...lol...12 years old and you lost your virginity...damn i was 14, i don't feel very cool anymore...lmfao

seriously though i agree with what daisy said don't alienate your daughter...school her, be a friend, someone she can confide in and trust

my parents were strict as could be with me and i was grounded for months at a time sometimes...they just tried to shelter me...and i just rebeled more...as soon as i turned 18 i was out and moved 3000 miles away...although i kept in touch with them they never really knew me or understood where i was coming from

i am much older now and we have a great relationship now but that took years to develop after i moved back near where i grew up

delete the dern myspace account and if they have a problem with it send them to wilderness school. that'll teach them what their whining over is actually really insignificant once their lost in the woods.

I know I cant stop her from seeing these things. Especially now since she is in middle school and has moved up an age bracket in sports. But I just dont want it in her inbox. The girl is on my list too so I get all the bulletins as well.

I guess we will talk to her. That has always been my train of thought, educate your kids properly and these things wont be an issue.

Dont get me wrong. We are pretty liberal. My daughter has a cellphone, her own PC, etc. Hell my wife is currently telling my daughter all about Marilyn Manson and how she used to see him in concert when he played in front of 100 people in Lauderdale They are currently downloading Manson and some other ringtones, I think Shoulder lean as well.I just thought this was pushing it, even for us. We definitely dont keep them sheltered or anything.

We all have my space accounts and most of her friends are on our lists as well.

I guess we will just talk to her and let it go

George Hayduke said:

delete the dern myspace account and if they have a problem with it send them to wilderness school. that'll teach them what their whining over is actually really insignificant once their lost in the woods.

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a slap in the face from ted nugent can often do sum good to these type of kids.

yamaha_1fan said:

My daughter has a cellphone, her own PC, etc.

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Her own cellphone? Your daughter is eleven. If you need to have some sort of way to contact her 24/7 then get a beeper, not a cell phone. With a cell phone she was call/text message her friends and talk about all sorts of dirty things. I had my own PC when I was younger and all I used it for was to look at porn. So, you better watch out.

if she's in middle school then trust me, she hears those words all day long every day. and the virgin thing is probably more for fun, joking around kinda thing. kids that age think it's cool to talk about sex and other taboo topics like that. just don't get so freaked out over little things like that. you sound extremely uptight and non-liberal, especially for someone that grows pot.

since when are you liberal for allowing your 11 year old kid to have a cell phone? am i missing something??? in that case it wont hurt to be a little more conservative.

and nugent ****ing rules! cept for his pro-american anti-drug rants.

No he sounds like a dad trying to do the best he can to give his daughter room to grow and express herself. Sounds to me as he has a good line of communication going on and he's trying hard to protect her from growing up too fast. Man, keep talking to her. It's really all you can do. She's getting to the age where you will be the devil himself soon enough. Enjoy it while you can. I, personally, think you are doing good. Well, as well as I can tell from your words. Stay safe.

look up nugents camp for kids...and throw the celfone in the trash.

hayduke...I respect his anti drug rants, but weed isnt a drug in my book.

pro-american...well I'm neither here nor there on that.

russia wants alaska back, and are trying to say it was a lease.....

all might be another thread..we'll see

NOKUY said:

look up nugents camp for kids...and throw the celfone in the trash.

hayduke...I respect his anti drug rants, but weed isnt a drug in my book.

pro-american...well I'm neither here nor there on that.

russia wants alaska back, and are trying to say it was a lease.....

all might be another thread..we'll see

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Are you serious man, Russia really wants to do that? Didnt they sell it for like 12 million dollars or something like that? This is interesting! haha

Dr.Dutch said:

Are you serious man, Russia really wants to do that? Didnt they sell it for like 12 million dollars or something like that? This is interesting! haha

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tru story....ill go ahead and post the article from Anchorage daily news....as a new thread if any are interested (i have no plans to learn to speak russian)

yukon, if we give Alaska back to the Russians, you will be inundated by fat,hairy women and G. Bush will have to invade to get the oil back.

Yamaha, both OG and Old fool gave you good advice. Talk to the daughter and mom and explain your position gently. Keep the lines of communication open.

wtf are 11 and 12 year olds doing with myspace anyways?
what the **** do they need a myspace for?
damn tell your kid to get the **** off the computer and go do some shit
myspace blows anyways

hayduke...I respect his anti drug rants, but weed isnt a drug in my book.

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Well I think I agree with you but nugent would call weed a drug.

and i hadn't heard that about Alaska and Russia... is this recent?