Stoner Moments

[Homer J Simpson]

Tell us about some stoner moments you've had.

Today I was walking out to my car, unlocked it, and got into the passenger seat.... D'oh...

Another time I walked up to my front door and tried to unlock it by pressing the unlock botton on my car keys. Sat there for about 30 seconds trying to figure out why my door wouldn't open. I can't remember but I was probibly very stoned....

 

[Wacky Tobacky]

this has happned to me a few times. well i drive a honda accord and theres so many people with the same car. well i walk up to the car and i hit the unlock button on the car keys and nothing happens. so im like wtf.... try again.... nothing happens. then i look closer and realize that its not my car. lol

 

[Guest]

You might wanna add that one in this thread...
http://www.icmag.com/ic/showthread.php?t=30280

 

[robobond]

While hitting the bong a friend made me laugh and I ending up blowing the bowl, along with a stream of water, straight out onto the floor. Luckily we were so baked already it didn't matter. Was my weed and floor anyways lol.

 

[70s_PotHead]

In 77 coming home from a Kiss concert driving my 62 Ford Galaxie with a bunch of fellow stoners, anyways after driving like 30 miles down the freeway I relize that I have been driving the entire time in low gear.....I moved the shift lever to D and the car shifted gears..
I really felt like a dumbass the next morning when my car wouldnt move out of the driveway with a burned up tranny

70s

 

[Irishslappop]

i dont think i need to explain the old "where is the lighter?????" "its in your hand" one.

 

[Jam Master Jaco]

My junior year of high school me and a friend would always leave for school at least 30 minutes early so we would have plenty of time to smoke in my car. Well...we had just got done blazing and were almost late for school. I wanted to turn on my left hand signal to turn....but instead I grabbed the clutch and put it in REVERSE GOING 45 MPH FORWARD. WHOOPS! Luckily nothing bad happened, other then it scaring the living shit out of me and me quickly switching it back into drive.

 

[pieceofmyheart]

I'll turn my house upside down looking for my glasses.......to realize they are on my head.

 

[Laxpunker]

Oy. My wife did that while we were still dating. I was most displeased. Of course her car was a beetle, and not something as badass as the old Galaxies.

One of my worst stoner moments was while camping. A couple friends and I were passing around a spoon and I was sufficiently drunk at this point so not surprisingly I knocked a little nug out of the bowl. I picked what I thought was the nug up off the bowl and placed it back into the pipe. Right as I lit it up I noticed a wing sticking out of the bowl, it was the elusive cannabis moth. Looks just like a marijuana bud when you've got a 12 pack of PBR in you.

 

[Laxpunker]

My junior year of high school me and a friend would always leave for school at least 30 minutes early so we would have plenty of time to smoke in my car. Well...we had just got done blazing and were almost late for school. I wanted to turn on my left hand signal to turn....but instead I grabbed the clutch and put it in REVERSE GOING 45 MPH FORWARD. WHOOPS! Luckily nothing bad happened, other then it scaring the living shit out of me and me quickly switching it back into drive.

Woah what? Nothing happened? Jesus man, a buddy of mine dropped his tranny doing that. Of course his car was a piece of shit old Saab 900 which you had to ever so slightly begin to put into reverse to get it up into fifth gear. Still it wasn't much fun driving behind him at 65mph and having to swerve around mechanical parts.

 

[Guest]

how bout when you....wait a minute.....fuck it, i forgot!

 

[Guest]

 

[Laxpunker]

Everyone knows what sinkers is right? Like a third lung, but with water instead of a bag. Well me and a few friends figured out if we get a long glass slider for the bowl that is a half an inch shorter than the bottom of the cut in half 2L jug, it turns into a bong/sinkers. So we could brew up massive cooled down hoots without having to use any lung power, the only thing is, you can force more smoke into your lungs than you could with any bong without any effort. I made the mistake of taking a hoot that consisted of 0.8g of kiff and a blob of some QWISO, I blacked out, I got so high I don't remember what I did. But I do remeber getting the spins and throwing up.

Never actually heard of a sinker, is it like a gravity bong? Something similar happened to me. It was at a tiny apartment party over a decade ago, one drunk patron came very well prepared and was topping off every bowl that was packed with some bho. Despite being my first time smoking oil I took the largest rip (off a gravity in the kitchen sink) I could muster. It didn't hit me until I started exhaling. I fainted dead away and struck the back of my head on the counter. I woke up 30 seconds later, gasping because somehow there was still smoke in my lungs.

 

[Laxpunker]

Yeah, sinkers is a gravity bong.

Then I see how that could happen. The gravity bong should be treated like a loaded weapon, never use it unless you can handle the consequences...geesh.

 

[Guest]

one time me and a buddy where going on a burn run driving on the freeway to another city, and we were kinda in a rush to where we were going. he told me we should wait before we smoke because ill probably drive all slow all high. I told him, dude i wont drive slow trust me. So we proceeded to spark up a J and we were on our way. Well about 5 min after finishing the J, im driving down the freeway, and my buddy looks over at my speedometer, and says to me " dude, youre going 45 mph on the fucking freeway i knew it!." then we started laughing for a good.. 10 min or so. It was really late at night so there wasnt any other car around on the freeway that i could gauge my speed with.. oh well, at least we made it on time!

 

[Laxpunker]

Ha, reminds me of that scene in Black Sheep.

Officer: "Do you know how fast you were going?"
Chris Farley: "Uhh about 70?"
Officer: "The correct answer was three, three miles an hour and your parked on the median."

 

[motaco]

paying for gas and driving off without pumping it.

and being too embarassed to go back.

 

[Guest]

In 77 coming home from a Kiss concert driving my 62 Ford Galaxie with a bunch of fellow stoners, anyways after driving like 30 miles down the freeway I relize that I have been driving the entire time in low gear.....I moved the shift lever to D and the car shifted gears..
I really felt like a dumbass the next morning when my car wouldnt move out of the driveway with a burned up tranny

70s

OMG - I did that one too!! Only difference was, I was driving a standard 5-speed. Going Eastbound on I-69 in Oregon in first gear ....at 65 mph!! Baked to the hilt, I just happened to notice the RPM's peaked out that I realized - oh damn. One too many bong hits and radio as loud as it would go (otherwise "might" have heard the engine screaming at me).

I'll turn my house upside down looking for my glasses.......to realize they are on my head.

Hahaha, I'm glad to know that I am not the only blind stoner that looks for their glasses - when I'm wearing them.

 

[Budsmith]

I was going to make a new post about stoner moments until I did a search and found this old post and decided to resurrect it.

Well it was me and my cousin at my house chilling smoking some 'zona out of my 1.5 ft bong. We were doing something we liked to call "cobains". It was like a little improvised way of shotguns we did in the bong that almost literally blew your head off. Well this is how it goes.... my cuz would blow through the top of the bong and I would suck through the carb hole.... this shit is seriously intense and tbh I dont know if I would recommend this to anyone. Anyways I did two for him and we switched and he did two for me.

Well after my last "cobain" I stood up mumbling shit like "I'm so fucking high" and for some reason I started walking towards the kitchen (munchies lol). Well as I was walking I was still mumbling "I'm so fucking high" over and over and next thing I know I'm headed towards the kitchen sink really fast.... the last thing I saw was the kitchen sink actually. When I woke up I remember hearing laughter and looked up to see my cousin laughing his ass off. I asked him "what happened" and he said that I had started falling towards the kitchen sink but pushed myself away into the fridge and fell like ton of bricks right in front of the fridge, he said it was like some "matrix shit" or something until I collapsed lol..... needless to say from that day anytime I smoked I made sure I was sitting my happy ass down.

edit: The way I explained the "cobain" might sound a bit off but I forgot to mention we fill the chamber with smoke first and THEN either me or my cousin blows through the top of the bong while either me or my cousin sucks on the carb hole.

 

[RandyMarsh]

Haha, nice resurrection. Cant say I've ever tried a hit like that. Guess those are best kept to the couch.

I had a pretty classic stoner move last night when I got home (about 3am after a righteous sesh with the bros) . Made myself a huge bowl of cereal and then crashed hard. Woke up this morning and found that I put the shreddies in the fridge and the milk in the pantry.