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George W Bush and Barack Obama somehow ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there,
each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid
to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics. As the barbers finished their shaves, the
one who had Obama in his chair reached for the aftershave.
Obama was quick to stop him saying, “No thanks, my wife Michelle will smell that and think I’ve been
in a whorehouse.”
The second barber turned to Bush and said, “How about you sir?” Bush replied, “Go ahead; my wife
doesn’t know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like.”
IN GOD WE TRUST
each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid
to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics. As the barbers finished their shaves, the
one who had Obama in his chair reached for the aftershave.
Obama was quick to stop him saying, “No thanks, my wife Michelle will smell that and think I’ve been
in a whorehouse.”
The second barber turned to Bush and said, “How about you sir?” Bush replied, “Go ahead; my wife
doesn’t know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like.”
IN GOD WE TRUST
A "true" Story from an Irish Sunday School Teacher
I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class to see if they
understood the concept of getting to heaven.
'I asked them, ' If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and
gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?'
'NO!' the children answered.
'If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept everything
tidy, would that get me into heaven?'
Again, the answer was 'NO!'
'If I gave sweets to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get
me into heaven?'
Again, they all answered 'NO!'
I was just bursting with pride for them. I continued, 'Then how can I get
into heaven?'
A little boy shouted out: 'YUV GOTTA BE FOOKN' DEAD.'
It's a curious race, the Irish. Brings a tear to the eye, doesn't it?
I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class to see if they
understood the concept of getting to heaven.
'I asked them, ' If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and
gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?'
'NO!' the children answered.
'If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept everything
tidy, would that get me into heaven?'
Again, the answer was 'NO!'
'If I gave sweets to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get
me into heaven?'
Again, they all answered 'NO!'
I was just bursting with pride for them. I continued, 'Then how can I get
into heaven?'
A little boy shouted out: 'YUV GOTTA BE FOOKN' DEAD.'
It's a curious race, the Irish. Brings a tear to the eye, doesn't it?
S
SPG*
Politics 
(Aint so badddd tho tbh
)
(Aint so badddd tho tbh
)
N
NoSocSlic
What do you call a nosy pepper??
Jalepeno business
Jalepeno business
N
NoSocSlic
Also!!!! Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle
Fo' drizzle
I don't get it, sorry.
Thought maybe the answer might be 'bell pepper'...
BTW the jalapeño is one of the least spicy pepper varieties; why would that make the consumer noisy?
That reminds me of the first time I tried 'Da Bomb' chilli sauce (was amongst the most evil ones back in the day and likely still is).
Figured the warnings on the bottle were pure publicity, hence I took a sip and couldn't speak for 20 minutes cause I had no more mouth but something like a torrid hedgehog of pain in my face
.Ahhh... the memories of a Scoville junkie...
N
NoSocSlic
I don't get it, sorry.
Thought maybe the answer might be 'bell pepper'...
BTW the jalapeño is one of the least spicy pepper varieties; why would that make the consumer noisy?
That reminds me of the first time I tried 'Da Bomb' chilli sauce (was amongst the most evil ones back in the day and likely still is).
Figured the warnings on the bottle were pure publicity, hence I took a sip and couldn't speak for 20 minutes cause I had no more mouth but something like a torrid hedgehog of pain in my face
Ahhh... the memories of a Scoville junkie...
Not noisy, nosy lol... like all up in yo business. nvrmind lmao it is a bad joke
I'm half Irish... Does that mean I'm 50 proof?
Nope.
It means you are 100 proof
Depending on what the other half is.
I resemble that!
Better than half Scotch half soda?
A Woman is walking past a pet shop, she sees a sign "Clitoris licking frog for rent £50 per week."
So she goes in to enquire. She approaches the counter and asks the shop keeper about the Frog. "I would like to get some more information about the Clitoris licking frong mentioned in the window, could I have a look at it please."
And the shopkepper says "Oui, but of course Madame, Bonjour, excuse moi, and returnez vouz sil vous plait"
So she goes in to enquire. She approaches the counter and asks the shop keeper about the Frog. "I would like to get some more information about the Clitoris licking frong mentioned in the window, could I have a look at it please."
And the shopkepper says "Oui, but of course Madame, Bonjour, excuse moi, and returnez vouz sil vous plait"
Copied from the Guardians Comments
Some one just sent me a facebook quote 'Why it's hard for old people to get employed';
HR person: 'What's your greatest weakness?'
Old person: 'Honesty'
HR person: 'I don't consider honesty a weakness'
Old person: 'Who gives a fuck what you think?
Credit for that goes to CIF poster "Unbanned"
Some one just sent me a facebook quote 'Why it's hard for old people to get employed';
HR person: 'What's your greatest weakness?'
Old person: 'Honesty'
HR person: 'I don't consider honesty a weakness'
Old person: 'Who gives a fuck what you think?
Credit for that goes to CIF poster "Unbanned"
