This bit here is gold. Something ive been working on myself alot. The only peace of mind to be found is within yourself.
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Passive aggressive people: and how to deal with the crazy?
- Thread starter Scottish Research
- Start date
This bit here is gold. Something ive been working on myself alot. The only peace of mind to be found is within yourself.
Fwiw i really hate passive aggressive folk. Id take the mayonnaise jar whizzing past my head i think. Although neither option is one i would consider a relationship with. Weirds last post is really good about working together in a relationship to achieve something really great. This is the exact type of girl/woman im looking for. They're out there just few and far between, same as males that have these qualities.
Pun intended?
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So, you've given your heart to a mate that laughs at your feelings.
Boo hoo bro. Suck it up. You will get through it. Your mate has
something to offer, so back off some and strengthen your position.
How close is she to menopause? You can always look forward to that.
Keep your sense of humor, clearly she has none. Take mental
stock of your strengths, and reinforce that within yourself.
Your mate has struck a nerve with her antics, treat her with respect
because she clearly believes your happiness is in her hands.
It's not your job to prove her wrong. You will be happy with or without her,
it's your choice bro.
You will find ways to make yourself stronger, for now that seems
your only asset. You will feel better sooner than later.
Don't cheat, she'll beat you with that because that's what she thinks
is your next move.
Give yourself some credit, you've made it this far. Be strong.
Boo hoo bro. Suck it up. You will get through it. Your mate has
something to offer, so back off some and strengthen your position.
How close is she to menopause? You can always look forward to that.
Keep your sense of humor, clearly she has none. Take mental
stock of your strengths, and reinforce that within yourself.
Your mate has struck a nerve with her antics, treat her with respect
because she clearly believes your happiness is in her hands.
It's not your job to prove her wrong. You will be happy with or without her,
it's your choice bro.
You will find ways to make yourself stronger, for now that seems
your only asset. You will feel better sooner than later.
Don't cheat, she'll beat you with that because that's what she thinks
is your next move.
Give yourself some credit, you've made it this far. Be strong.
S
Sat X RB
Robert, I too have a Wife (of 46 years. 46 fucking years!!! totally I should say I am her Husband!) who has passive/aggresive elements to her personality and speech ... even to the extent of curling her lip (sneering) as she makes one cutting comment or another.
yet she is UNCONSCIOUS of this behaviour and denies any aggressive intent within her words.
she has a generally peaceful character and we can discuss pretty well anything about each others behaviour. we have worked hard to make our relationship peaceful and productive ...
but She Who Must Be Obeyed seems to be on 'automatic' a lot of the time and she continues her passive aggression.
I can see She is her Mother's daughter in this regard. see that the behaviour is a central dynamic in her family of origin ... for my brother in law (may the god of commerce rot his greedy socks) has complained to me of his Wife's (Her sister's) verbal aggression too.
So I don't know what to do. I am a gentle fellow. I wish peace on almost all of you (except my greedy brother in law) but I am blown away by the sort of 'aggression out of the blue' you speak of. and simply do not know what can be done if after pointing out the incongruence and harmful nature of the behaviour ... the passive aggressor remains unconscious of her behaviour.
the behaviour has gotten worse since menopause. here I am reminded of Jung and some mid-life women's inability to cope with the Animus ... the male part of their personality ... that increasingly insists on them being heard more often. so in a psychological nutshell the dear Lady is not coping with her breeding days being over ... but wtf sort of help is that? theory does not change behaviour ... awareness changes behaviour.
dunno what else to say. except you have my understanding and support in this situation.
guess you won't be coming to Oz now?
yet she is UNCONSCIOUS of this behaviour and denies any aggressive intent within her words.
she has a generally peaceful character and we can discuss pretty well anything about each others behaviour. we have worked hard to make our relationship peaceful and productive ...
but She Who Must Be Obeyed seems to be on 'automatic' a lot of the time and she continues her passive aggression.
I can see She is her Mother's daughter in this regard. see that the behaviour is a central dynamic in her family of origin ... for my brother in law (may the god of commerce rot his greedy socks) has complained to me of his Wife's (Her sister's) verbal aggression too.
So I don't know what to do. I am a gentle fellow. I wish peace on almost all of you (except my greedy brother in law) but I am blown away by the sort of 'aggression out of the blue' you speak of. and simply do not know what can be done if after pointing out the incongruence and harmful nature of the behaviour ... the passive aggressor remains unconscious of her behaviour.
the behaviour has gotten worse since menopause. here I am reminded of Jung and some mid-life women's inability to cope with the Animus ... the male part of their personality ... that increasingly insists on them being heard more often. so in a psychological nutshell the dear Lady is not coping with her breeding days being over ... but wtf sort of help is that? theory does not change behaviour ... awareness changes behaviour.
dunno what else to say. except you have my understanding and support in this situation.
guess you won't be coming to Oz now?
One of the main things I learned from my marriage is that I shouldn't be married to a girl who isn't into weed. Someone who loves weed the way I do wouldn't nag me for spending time working with the plants. I won't be in another relationship with someone who doesn't appreciate what I do. If your partner objects that much to what you've chosen to do with your life, you're with the wrong partner.
SourSmoke
Member
Opposites may attract but that's not who I want for a relationship!
Oh, so she laughs at you when you speak to her about it...? Just my opinion, but what I see is she has no respect for you. That might be what you're "tired of". I can't really speak to the whole situation because I don't know specifics, but it seems to me she's the more aggressive of the two. You seem to be a bit meek. If that's so, she'll eat you alive. Good luck.
Hmm maybe your right about this, sure does narrow down the market though fml
Yes, this is it! He is dead on. Besides the passive aggression. I must be in some serious denial!
So, how does a forward observer out beyond enemy lines find some girl into weed?
R.Fortune
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You're too worried about her passive aggression. she's not crazy, you're a pussy. Step to it. As far as being married to a woman who doesn't understand your love to grow, you don't need her because she's not letting you be you. Why the fuck do I need to "find" a woman who's into weed? My woman is NOT into weed, and I find the time to make sure she's happy. Look into the Fu**ing mirror before you start blaming the female for your own weaknesses. BTW, I'm from the same planet you're from. Swallower....I'm impressed.
Points well taken. I like your posts. You put thought into everything that you say and I respect that, but all of that said I'm not a pussy, and I would prefer it if you would refrain from name calling as it violates our TOU.
Thanks!
RF
There are lots of ways, I'm sure. I find them on okcupid, match, craigslist, places like that. I have an online dating profile that specifically mentions my interest in weed.
That's how I met my last gf after my divorce. That one only lasted about 9 months, but that had nothing to do with weed or how we met. That was more about moving in together too soon and finding out we couldn't stand each other living together. Lol.
These days I'm looking when I have free time. I already know before the first date that she's at least somewhat into weed. I'll have more time to look once I'm done with all the work from this last harvest.
You have a point, Robert. There was no need to be offensive towards you. My apologies.
S
Sat X RB
Ah, the comfort of the dispassionate Observer.
despite the sparks his input caused seems to me Vash has hit on a truth ... that while the lady in question is absent from these pages we are hearing only one side of the issue ... and what may seem true to one may seem opposite to the other ...
so Robert ... can you get yr Lady to the keyboard so that we can observe dynamics more closely?
despite the sparks his input caused seems to me Vash has hit on a truth ... that while the lady in question is absent from these pages we are hearing only one side of the issue ... and what may seem true to one may seem opposite to the other ...
so Robert ... can you get yr Lady to the keyboard so that we can observe dynamics more closely?
being single is pretty good......consider a trade in lol
I have kept my yap shut but it sounds to me not so passive-aggressive from the start really. Continual sarcasm like my Dad practiced seems kinda like passive-aggression to me. A jar of mayonnaise whizzing by your head seems just kinda like physically aggressive to me. You might be trying to down-play it by putting a lessor label on it. I don't like physical actions and I personally think that's the time to bail, before it escalates and someone gets seriously hurt, for a little while at least. People see leaving sometimes as a permanent solution for a temporary problem sometimes. But if you emphasize leaving temporarily but will come back to discuss things, it helps. I think violence needs to be addressed immediately, every-time. Domestic situations are by far the most dangerous. But that's just my opinion here. To each their own.
well said dd,,,
s2
