Anyone else not into spending time with family?

[mtbazz]

Ok...parents are dead, so really only remaining family i have are two brothers,both older (by 8 and 10 years). Growing up, they were never really around due to age differences, but they were not complete strangers either.

Now, the three of us are all very different...don't want to go into details, but aside from being related, and having one or two common interests, thats it. Hell, if they were not blood I wouldn't even want to hang out with them.

I dont mind being around them for short periods of time, a day and thats all I am good for.

Now, one lives in CA< the other in NM, both are trying to goad me into a visit of a week or more. I really don't want to go because I simply can't imagine spending a weeks time with anyone, and I also really don't care to travel.

The kicker here is that I lived in Western MT from 1990 to 1999. During that time I had an open invitation to the one brother to come visit with his family...he never did.

The other brother was in a twon 2-3 hours away from me at the time, and would tell me to come for a visit and when I did he would hide, because he was "working on his phd"

 

[DarthFader1]

Hey Bazz, its tough man, alot of people in these spots including me with my brother. How far travelling are we talking here? They say a week, why not counter back with a more suitable offer of maybe just 2 or 3 days? You can control the situation, just cos someone says one week doesnt mean thats the only option

 

[Crusader Rabbit]

They're the only blood brothers you'll ever have.

 

[Crusader Rabbit]

Ok...parents are dead, so really only remaining family i have are two brothers,both older (by 8 and 10 years). Growing up, they were never really around due to age differences, but they were not complete strangers either.

Now, one lives in CA< the other in NM, both are trying to goad me into a visit of a week or more. I really don't want to go because I simply can't imagine spending a weeks time with anyone, and I also really don't care to travel.

The kicker here is that I lived in Western MT from 1990 to 1999. During that time I had an open invitation to the one brother to come visit with his family...he never did.

The other brother was in a twon 2-3 hours away from me at the time, and would tell me to come for a visit and when I did he would hide, because he was "working on his phd"

Irregardless of what happened in the past, your brothers are now old enough to know that this matters. Ten years from now you'll realize too that this matters. But they'll probably be dead then.

 

[BlueBlazer]

My mom and dad, who I was very close to, are dead. My oldest brother, who I was also very close to, is also dead. I miss all three of them and would give anything for a day with them alive again.

However, my other brother and twin sisters, I don't have much use for. We didn't get on well growing up and nothing ever really changed. One of my sisters came by last summer and it was a nice visit. We're just really different and it doesn't take long for those differences to manifest. So when she left, I was not sorry to see her go.

Other than that, I haven't had contact with the rest of my sibs since my mom died. I don't hate them, I just don't have any desire to talk to them or be around them. It helps that they all live out West and I live in the East.

 

[ydijadoit]

"Blood" doesn't mean shit to me. My mother was a full blown sociopath. I won't waste the bandwidth, describing her treatment of me. She died, miserable, isolated, and still spewing hate, two years ago. See ya, bitch.
People sometimes say "She gave you life!". Good ho'.
Maybe your situation is not that extreme.
Weed has a way (For me, in my experience) of making me less social, with people who waste my time with small talk, exaggerated stories, and bullshit in general.
If that is your situation, where you feel like nothing comes of visiting these people, then it's up to you to decide, and nobody else can help on that one.
If it's just a distance issue, (and I mean relationship wise, not miles), maybe you should go, as DarthFader suggested, for a shorter time.
Sometimes, you get someone like my mother, and sometimes, we just drift apart, and there is a flame worth re-igniting.
Good luck. Family dynamics are hell, sometimes!
Regards.

 

[justpassnthru]

Both parents dead. I come from an entire family of sociopaths and they breed more---all societies parasites!!!
they had little to do with me, except when in need I felt more of an 'obligation' to my folks and family than a treasure to them. They pushed me to the curb at 17 and the last thing they did for me was help me get emancipated. 6 months later I heard they were moving to Arkansas with my 4 younger brothers, 2 days later. My 2 sisters lived in the south, as well.

2 brothers gone---sadly, even if they were sociopaths.

I come from a very large family of sociopaths---you know the type, the world is out to please and serve them and to hell with everyone else. Here to rape the world and leave it empty, when they go. The world will be a better place when they leave, too bad genetic profiling and aborting blood lines is not an acceptable practice--I'd sacrifice to see the world rid of this blood line!

In the past 20 years, I've only had visitations with a brother and sister. Last year I had the manager of the property I live, send them ALL invitations to remain off the property.

Last week (haven't talked to my sister since 6/2012), she and her sociopathic public welfare cheat daughter (that has bred-more of 'um)were at my front door. My neighbor came over and told them to remain off the property! As the manager was off the property.

My family is right here where I live! I accidently fell into a senior mobile home park while hunting for a place to live. I've lived here almost 2 years and LOVIN IT, been fairly ill with disease the entire time.
Having a rough day today and called my 85 yr old friend across the street a few hours ago and asked what she felt like eating for dinner. I planned to ask the guy next door to go to the store and get something and fix us dinner.

Well, Jane my 85yr old friend has stage IV lung cancer(doing better than me today) and wasn't hungry but said, "I feel more like pasta today." I was waiting until about 4 to call my neighbor because he sometimes naps late in the day. I didn't call him

My doorbell just rang and it was the guy next door with two large plates of pasta, one for me and one for Jane...I swear, that guy must hear my phone calls!!! (he doesn't) But, to me...

THIS IS MY FAMILY, right where I live with My Little Dog! I feel like the person that fell in shit and came up smelling like roses!
I know how to make lemonade too!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZhQOvvV45w

No complaints here, I love my NEW family!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DD0L0nyM7OY

Home is where you hang your hat or apron and family is where there is love!



I went to psychiatric counseling many decades ago, for years---to find my happy! jpt

 

[Stoner4Life]

hey bazz, take a shot & visit your brother(s), if nothing else and you prove yourself right you won't suffer any 'what if' moments about it later.

They live in CA & NM? plan a trip to each along with somewhere else you'd like to visit nearby them but on your own, no reason a trip out of town should be a total waste if things don't work out w/the family situation.


Both of my folks are gone, dad in '99 & mom passed in '09, my only sister is a true sociopath that I refuse to talk to ever again, she's harmful to any & all whose lives she touches.

you said there were a few common interests you shared and of course the connection of your folks, maybe there's some insight or stories of your folks they might enjoy telling you about, an 8 & 10 yr difference means they were adults while you were still dreaming about 10 speed bikes and getting to 2nd base with Betsy.

it would be a shame if you missed any last opportunities to see either of them, tomorrow is a promise to no one.

 

[mtbazz]

hey bazz, take a shot & visit your brother(s), if nothing else and you prove yourself right you won't suffer any 'what if' moments about it later.

They live in CA & NM? plan a trip to each along with somewhere else you'd like to visit nearby them but on your own, no reason a trip out of town should be a total waste if things don't work out w/the family situation.


Both of my folks are gone, dad in '99 & mom passed in '09, my only sister is a true sociopath that I refuse to talk to ever again, she's harmful to any & all whose lives she touches.

you said there were a few common interests you shared and of course the connection of your folks, maybe there's some insight or stories of your folks they might enjoy telling you about, an 8 & 10 yr difference means they were adults while you were still dreaming about 10 speed bikes and getting to 2nd base with Betsy.

it would be a shame if you missed any last opportunities to see either of them, tomorrow is a promise to no one.

yeah, thanks for the replies...a large part of it is that I really just don't like traveling period. Im a bit of recluse, and I also work alot so Im hard pressed to leave home for anything...

In any case, as a non-resident Californian, is there any way that I can get into the dispensaries out there?