Jehovah witnesses broke into my house

[resinryder]

144,000 is the number given in Revelations. It's not something unique to JW.

Correct you are. But as far as I know they are the only religion that has taken the verse, Revelation 7:4, and applied it to their belief. Which makes no sense because the verse refers to the sons of Israel which the JW's I've met clearly are not in the least bit Jewish. In addition, there are way more than 144,000 of them in the US alone so according to their beliefs, I wonder which of them would be entering heaven and which would be denied. It's a question they are hard pressed to answer.
In the southern town I'm from, I knew the head of the JW church there. He was a very wealthy man and made his money from those that honestly thought he was something special. He sure didn't live the life he preached, at least when he didn't have them around.

 

[Wiggs Dannyboy]

Sounds like a nice premise for a dystopian screen play...Something happens in the near future which the JW's interpret as being the beginning of the end. This end-of-days scenario finally motivates the living JW's (who now number 7.5 million and counting), to face up to this inconvenient piece of Revelation, and this results in a break down in their community. Gangs form, each having their own interpretation of what end-of-days means, and the proper way to respond to their #'s problem. Murder of the mass variety ensues, blood and guts fly on front porches painted a deep red.

 

[PhenoMenal]

hmm, South Park made an episode about Mormons (S7E12), which i found greatly educational, but theyve never made one about Jehovah's Witnesses... dumbdumbdumbdumbdumb

 

[therevverend]

My great grandma was one of the best old alcoholics ever. Always had a glass of cold boxed wine from the fridge in her hand. The Jehovah's Witnesses started coming around bugging her. They started talking to her about the anti-christ. She told them they were anti-Christ and to get the hell off her property. They never came back. Then the Mormons came around. She asked them if they were going to heaven. They all said yes. She said there is no way she would want to spend eternity with assholes like them. They never came back.

 

[WaterBear]

Then the Mormons came around. She asked them if they were going to heaven. They all said yes. She said there is no way she would want to spend eternity with assholes like them. They never came back.

Now that's funny!

 

[therevverend]

To go off topic for a second, I'm tired of rude children these days. When I was young my great-grandma, a gardener, always had beanpoles around. If you were running around yelling, jumping up on her couches or disrespecting her property she'd smack you real quick with the bean pole when you weren't expecting it. She sewed a lot, always had a thimble on her finger. If you laughed too loud like a horse, or farted, or chewed gum like a cow she'd rap you on the crown of the head with that damn metal thimble. Can't really call it child abuse, she was 90 years old maybe 5 feet tall. Tiny with blue hair. I was always proud to fetch her a fresh can of Coors out of the fridge.
Had numerous old books on Tibetan Buddhism, Alexandra David-Neel, the Tao Te Ching. She'd get drunk late at night, start telling us how when you became adept you could hear spirits tapping out little warnings to you on the walls. How there was a face growing out of her old wisteria vine. If you looked out the window she would ask you what you would do if you saw a strange monstrous face looking back at you.

 

[Stoner4Life]

NYC mid 70s ~ Jose is the freight elevator operator in my warehouse building, me & Jose are always stepping out back to burn one down. Jose is gone on a 2 week vacation and comes back just praising the lord Jehovah!!!

I thought no way! I called his bluff thinking he's only screwing w/me, he argues back, I call his bluff several more times finally inviting him to step into the alley to burn one, he sez "no," whoa.


this is before Jonestown but I knew he'd drunk the Kool-Aid.......

 

[Wiggs Dannyboy]

Jose....shoulda gone Rastafarian. Damn shame for Jose. Really, though...anybody on this board feeling the tickle to find god...take your vacation in Jamaica.

 

[BrnCow]

Well, you just fucked up the threesome...lol

 

[blastfrompast]

Here is what Babba Did (old ukrainian woman)....

1st time....No thanks....don't come back
2nd time...Come in....can I see your book....Into the woodstove it went..

Never came back for a 3rd...

Me personally I invite them to the gazebo, turn up the tunes, and do bong rips and make fun of them till they leave. I'm legal so it is fun

And BELIEVE U ME can I ever be a DOUCHE BAG when I feel like it.. They work in pairs here, so I find hitting on the woman a bit tends to work...especially if it is the guys WIFE

Gotta come inside the Gazebo if you want to talk to me... BWHAHA...

They come back every couple of years trying to save me.....

 

[WonderWoman86]

I've never had respect for people who sell their religion door to door, but I had the chance to see a real friendship develop between my disabled grandfather, and the Jehovahs in their old neighborhood. They started coming around once a week, and my grandmother would turn them away, but on days that she worked she had no control and eventually this group of 3-4 people were showing up on our sun porch on the regular to hang out with my grandfather. I'd come home from school and they would be talking about something completely unrelated to religion. He found comfort in these people, because they gave him time which not very many did . . . I never stuck around to hear much of what they had to say, but it made me smile to see my grandfather so happy.

Personally though, it's fun to run them off, they always look so disappointed lol