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So oxygen went out on a date with potassium...it went OK.
S
shokdee
- respect to the folk down-under -
S
shokdee
- respect to the folk down-under -
S
shokdee
- good luck guys!!! -
BF : wanna hear a joke about my penis , never mind it's too long
GF : wanna hear a joke about my vagina , never mind you'll never get it
GF : wanna hear a joke about my vagina , never mind you'll never get it
Banefoul
Member
A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at
work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.
The woman's husband also comes home.
She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in
there already.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250"
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are
in the closet together.
Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy - "$750"
Man - "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go
outside and have a game of catch." The boy says, "I can't, I sold my
baseball and my glove." The father asks, "How much did you sell them
for?"
Boy - "$1,000"
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like
that...that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the
confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again."
work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.
The woman's husband also comes home.
She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in
there already.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250"
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are
in the closet together.
Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy - "$750"
Man - "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go
outside and have a game of catch." The boy says, "I can't, I sold my
baseball and my glove." The father asks, "How much did you sell them
for?"
Boy - "$1,000"
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like
that...that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the
confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again."
Oxygen asked nitrogen out first, but she said NO.
S
shokdee
Princess don't make them moan, unless it pleases M'Lady 
Anyone need a Hanky?
Why can't you trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
S
shokdee
next page please! Slow Interweb Day, sorry!
S
shokdee
Just like those pesky Fizzycysts and their unbreakable LAWS OF METTA-PHYSICS
As above, so below.
As before, so what?
Let's keep the ball rolling....
Paddy is cleaning his rifle and accidentally shoots his wife. He dials 999.
Paddy cries hysterically "It's my wife, I've accidentally shot her. I've killed her!"
Operator "Please calm down sir. Can you first make sure for me, that she really is dead?"
CLICK,BANG
Paddy "OK, done that, what next?
Paddy is cleaning his rifle and accidentally shoots his wife. He dials 999.
Paddy cries hysterically "It's my wife, I've accidentally shot her. I've killed her!"
Operator "Please calm down sir. Can you first make sure for me, that she really is dead?"
CLICK,BANG
Paddy "OK, done that, what next?
Here's a few more - get 'em while they're hot!
I've just had a letter back from Screwfix Direct. They said they regretted to inform me that they're not actually a dating agency.
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said "I would like to come back as a cow".
I said "You’re obviously not listening."
Doctors have just identified a food that can cause grief and suffering years after it's been eaten. It's called wedding cake.
I was in the pub with my wife last night and I said I love you. She said "is that you or the beer talking?" I replied "it's me talking to the beer."
The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst.
So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.
I've just had a letter back from Screwfix Direct. They said they regretted to inform me that they're not actually a dating agency.
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said "I would like to come back as a cow".
I said "You’re obviously not listening."
Doctors have just identified a food that can cause grief and suffering years after it's been eaten. It's called wedding cake.
I was in the pub with my wife last night and I said I love you. She said "is that you or the beer talking?" I replied "it's me talking to the beer."
The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst.
So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.
