What's the difference between a ginger & a brick?
The brick gets laid.
(Sorry Hank
... couldn't resist
The brick gets laid.
(Sorry Hank
... couldn't resist
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What's the difference between a ginger & a brick?
The brick gets laid.
(Sorry Hank
On the subject of Gingers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVN_0qvuhhw
Love that....you think you know where hes going, and then he totally goes somewhere else.
I enjoy getting fucked with....and that is not a joke
S
shokdee
I enjoy getting fucked with....and that is not a joke
Ha ha hee hee, it is for me
Ok...i do like getting fucked
S
shokdee
share my cigarette 
Sexy Princess
Shokdee
Sexy Princess
Shokdee
N
noyd666
fuck , have a cigar.
A murder has been committed.
Police are called to an apartment and find a man standing, holding a 5-iron in his hands, looking at the lifeless body of a woman on the ground.
The detective asks, "Sir, is that your wife?"
"Yes."
"Did you hit her with that golf club?"
"Yes. Yes, I did," the man answers. He stifles a sob, drops the club and puts his hands on his head.
"How many times did you hit her?"
"I don't know, five... maybe six... Put me down for a five."
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LAPD OFFICER: "We arrested this man beating the living daylights out of some poor slob for no reason at all! What should we charge him with?"
DESK SERGEANT: "Impersonating an Officer."
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Gingers: A Story
This is two ginger welsh childhood friends, living in a most deprived area of Wales, with no prospects of ever getting out of living off benefits, spending the hours in the local pub surrounded by other likewise gingers. So desperate for a job they were that one of the friends accepted one as a shepperd up in the welsh hills, but he had to be there for a whole year on his own to tend the sheep.
Time passed by, then one day the pub door opens and there he is. Everyone, even his friend, looks at him in silence as he walks towards the bar, as his hair is now dark. When he is sure he is the total centre of atraction, lifts his index finger and says in loud clear voice
- Une tournée de bière pour tout le monde!
He approaches his gobsmacked friend and tells him
-Comment vas-tu, mon ami? Tout va bien ici?
The eyes from his friend opens real wide
- You are speaking french!
Smiling nonchalantly he explains him that when he went with the sheeps he only had the company of a little radio he took with him, but from up the hills he could get the french radio stations and thus he learned to speak perfect french. As a result, he dyed his hair and got accepted as a stock exchange executive in one of the best paid London firms. He suggested the shepperd job was free now. Actually, he paid for the pints, placed the old radio in the hands of his friend, and left forever.
His friend missed not a second and that very night he took the job. A year passed by. One day, the door of the pub opens and he enters, reeking of sheep shit, his ginger hair in rastas and when he approached the bar repeating the motions of his pal, he shouted
-Kkgjjjjj rrrrrr fffss ks ksksk kkgggfffiiiiii wooooo!!!
This is two ginger welsh childhood friends, living in a most deprived area of Wales, with no prospects of ever getting out of living off benefits, spending the hours in the local pub surrounded by other likewise gingers. So desperate for a job they were that one of the friends accepted one as a shepperd up in the welsh hills, but he had to be there for a whole year on his own to tend the sheep.
Time passed by, then one day the pub door opens and there he is. Everyone, even his friend, looks at him in silence as he walks towards the bar, as his hair is now dark. When he is sure he is the total centre of atraction, lifts his index finger and says in loud clear voice
- Une tournée de bière pour tout le monde!
He approaches his gobsmacked friend and tells him
-Comment vas-tu, mon ami? Tout va bien ici?
The eyes from his friend opens real wide
- You are speaking french!
Smiling nonchalantly he explains him that when he went with the sheeps he only had the company of a little radio he took with him, but from up the hills he could get the french radio stations and thus he learned to speak perfect french. As a result, he dyed his hair and got accepted as a stock exchange executive in one of the best paid London firms. He suggested the shepperd job was free now. Actually, he paid for the pints, placed the old radio in the hands of his friend, and left forever.
His friend missed not a second and that very night he took the job. A year passed by. One day, the door of the pub opens and he enters, reeking of sheep shit, his ginger hair in rastas and when he approached the bar repeating the motions of his pal, he shouted
-Kkgjjjjj rrrrrr fffss ks ksksk kkgggfffiiiiii wooooo!!!
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The little boy had been looking out of the window.
He turned to his mother and asked,"If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby
cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
The mother couldn't think of an answer. She told her son to ask the flight attendant.
The boy went down the aisle and asked the flight attendant, "If big dogs
have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby
planes?"
The busy flight attendant smiled and asked the boy, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?"
The boy replied, "Yes, she did."
"Well", said the flight attendant, "you go and tell your mother that there
are no baby planes, because Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your
mother explain that to you."
He turned to his mother and asked,"If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby
cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
The mother couldn't think of an answer. She told her son to ask the flight attendant.
The boy went down the aisle and asked the flight attendant, "If big dogs
have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby
planes?"
The busy flight attendant smiled and asked the boy, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?"
The boy replied, "Yes, she did."
"Well", said the flight attendant, "you go and tell your mother that there
are no baby planes, because Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your
mother explain that to you."
A man is queuing at the 5 items or less checkout. The girl in front of him turns around and looks at his basket. He has a 4 pack of Heineken and an Indian meal for 1. She smiles at him. He looks in her basket and sees a small bottle of wine and a Chinese meal for 1. He says to her "You're single aren't you?" She gives a girly giggle and says "yes, how did you know?" The man replies "cause your an ugly ****!"
That's hard Stone and no I almost didn't laugh. So a drunk stagger out of a bar right into 2 priests. He says "I'm Jesus Christ." The first priest says "No, son, you're not." The drunk turns to the 2nd priests and says "I'm Jesus Christ." The 2nd priest says "No, son, you're not." So the drunk says, "Look, I can prove it." He walks back into the bar with the 2 priest. The bartender takes one look at the drunk and shouts, "Jesus Christ, you're here again?"
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Bar and golf jokes? I fuckin' love you guys....
The couple has been married only two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, cant wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. "Honey," says he to his new bride, "Ill be right back..." "Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asks the wife. "Im going to the bar, Pretty Face. Im going to have a beer." "You want a beer, My Love?" She opens the refrigerator door shows him 25 different brands of beer from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, including six places hes never even heard of. The husband is nonplussed, and all he can think to say is, "Yes, Honey Pie, but the bar you know...the frozen glass..." He hasnt finished the sentence before wifey interrupts him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She hands him a mug out of the freezer that is so cold that it burns his fingers "Yes, Tootsie Roll," hubby says a bit desperately, "but at the bar they have those hors doeuvres that are really delicious... I wont be long. Ill be right back. I promise. OK?" "You want hors doeuvres, Pookie Pooh?" She opens the oven and removes 15 different hors doeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in a blanket, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc. "But, Sweetie, Honey...at the bar...you know...the swearing, the dirty words and all that..." "You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? Here...DRINK YOUR FUCKING BEER IN YOUR FROZEN FUCKING MUG AND EAT YOUR FUCKING SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU ARENT GOING ANYWHERE! GOT IT, ASSHOLE?!!"
John hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!” That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the best toast of the night.”
She said, “Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?”
John said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.”
“Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s drinking buddies on the street corner.
The man chuckled leeringly and said, “John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.”
She said, “Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised meself. You know, he’s only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him move faster.”
He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the best toast of the night.”
She said, “Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?”
John said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.”
“Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s drinking buddies on the street corner.
The man chuckled leeringly and said, “John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.”
She said, “Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised meself. You know, he’s only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him move faster.”
Use only grown up words!
A group of kindergartners were trying very hard to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk!
"You need to use 'Grown-Up' words," she was always reminding them. She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend.
"I went to visit my Nana."
"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use 'Grown-Up' words!" She then asked Mitchell what he had done.
"I took a ride on a choo-choo." She said "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use 'Grown-Up' words." She then asked little Alec what he had done.
"I read a book," he replied.
"That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?"
Alec thought real hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride, and said, "Winnie the SHIT."
A group of kindergartners were trying very hard to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk!
"You need to use 'Grown-Up' words," she was always reminding them. She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend.
"I went to visit my Nana."
"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use 'Grown-Up' words!" She then asked Mitchell what he had done.
"I took a ride on a choo-choo." She said "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use 'Grown-Up' words." She then asked little Alec what he had done.
"I read a book," he replied.
"That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?"
Alec thought real hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride, and said, "Winnie the SHIT."
G
greenmatter
***** i'm sure you're gonna love this one hank **** sarcasm off
a mushroom walks into a bar and asks for a beer.
the bar tender says "we don't serve mushrooms here"
mushroom says "but i'm a fungi"
a mushroom walks into a bar and asks for a beer.
the bar tender says "we don't serve mushrooms here"
mushroom says "but i'm a fungi"
