Daughter lost her first pet today

[Sir_Syzurp]

So just about 45 minutes ago our 9 yr old Uromastyx (a lizard from the Sahara Desert region) Scooter kicked the bucket. This was my daughters bday present when she was 3, he was already 3 at the time himself so we thought it would go well.

Now Ive been an exotic animal owner for many years, from lizards, monitors, wolves, cats, and rodents, and I have developed quite a thick skin for the circle of life and I think I am making the situation worse for my daughter who is balling histerically still by just being as cold as I am to the situation (she had to watch me pick him up and put him in the box and tape it up for the burial tomorrow)... any advice on how to console a 9 yr old who just lost her first pet (other than coddling please)

 

[RustlewoodNW]

I would start with how different animals have extremely varying lifespans rather than go into anything existential. Idk man good luck shes everything

 

[trichrider]

kids can handle facts. don't mislead her with 'waiting for you in heaven' kind of hogwash.
you knowing the circle of life should be related to her how you see it...like the ancients did it...knowledge delivered personally...with love and affection and the understanding that comes from comforting words.

may your daughter provide many grandsons and may they know your name.

 

[dasher65]

I explained to mine that pets are here for a short time so it's important to love them as much as you can while you can & when they're gone they always live on in your heart. When you miss them and cry for them then just think of a happy memory with them and smile.

Even now, years later Holly will mention a funny moment of her dog and smile.

 

[Normlfightr]

Important opportunity to teach her about death. Explain the best you can animals R born and die everyday, and relate your personal beliefs to them

Good luck

 

[Crusader Rabbit]

Everybody dies. That's a fact we all have to learn sometime. This is a good introduction. Kids have short attention spans too.

Your post brings back memories. What a trip. Over fifty years ago I was standing crying out in the back yard with my mom. In my hand was a little matchbox that held my deceased pet horned lizard. We buried the poor guy and I said the Lord's Prayer over his grave. I eventually learned that a toilet works quite well for this kind of thing. Sort of like a burial at sea.

That must be a big lizard. For her to learn about the cycle of life, place the corpse in a mesh/screen bag so that there is soil contact with burial but everything's contained. Place this within an second sandwich of stiff chicken wire or such to provide support. Then do your burial in soil. Mark the grave. Mark the calendar.

One year to the day dig that sucker up so you and your daughter can check out the skeleton, maybe try to put it together. She might even reflect on how she no longer feels traumatized, especially when her curiosity has the best of her.