lack of confidence can be caused by worrying about making mistakes. everyone makes mistakes. it's how you correct the mistakes (and learn from them) that determines if you will succeed or not.
How do you become confident
- Thread starter theclearspot
- Start date
theclearspot
Active member
thanks a lot everyone ,its already lifted me knowing theres a lot of decent good people out there...
I think that everyone here used to get a confidence boost about their life every time they read through Yummybud's posts, but those are gone now.......
ballplayer 2
Active member
Confidence can be a difficult thing to achieve. Just believe in yourself, and don't take crap from anyone you don't have to. Be helpful, but dont just be submissive all the time.
Acquire or work really hard at something that makes you feel good. Find a way to become an expert in a few topics or skills. Build your skills and knowledge day-by-day, week-week, year-year. Stick with it and as time passes you will become so skilled you will hardly recognize your former self. Envision how it will make you feel to be really well read, or very skilled in a trade, or physically fit. This skill should carry over to your everyday interaction with your cohort.
When I was growing up I was taught to be very humble, I wish I had not been. People today are such braggards and to me it comes across as desperate. Nonetheless, when you run into these type of people, don't be afraid to talk about yourself, and be confident in your skill.
Me I choose to maintain my physical fitness after work. I choose to make myself the best basketball player I can be. I have gotten to be one of the best basketball players in a large metropolitan county. I take it as an insult on the court when I run into people on the court who think they are as skilled as me. Not taking anything away from them, but I know how much work I put in, it drives me. This confidence extends into the rest of my life.
I hustle everyday that my mind and body allows. Every minute of everyday is important. Take pride in your skills and work ethic, take no shit from anyone, you should not have to.
BP2
Acquire or work really hard at something that makes you feel good. Find a way to become an expert in a few topics or skills. Build your skills and knowledge day-by-day, week-week, year-year. Stick with it and as time passes you will become so skilled you will hardly recognize your former self. Envision how it will make you feel to be really well read, or very skilled in a trade, or physically fit. This skill should carry over to your everyday interaction with your cohort.
When I was growing up I was taught to be very humble, I wish I had not been. People today are such braggards and to me it comes across as desperate. Nonetheless, when you run into these type of people, don't be afraid to talk about yourself, and be confident in your skill.
Me I choose to maintain my physical fitness after work. I choose to make myself the best basketball player I can be. I have gotten to be one of the best basketball players in a large metropolitan county. I take it as an insult on the court when I run into people on the court who think they are as skilled as me. Not taking anything away from them, but I know how much work I put in, it drives me. This confidence extends into the rest of my life.
I hustle everyday that my mind and body allows. Every minute of everyday is important. Take pride in your skills and work ethic, take no shit from anyone, you should not have to.
BP2
theclearspot
Active member
Thanks thats great advice, I'm always making excuses for myself, I'm working class, i was on free school meals etc, but i went to a top university, i just need to get rid of the negative depression...
erictheoldfart
Member
I had two businesses in my life, one a flop and one an overwhelming success. The flop was my first, cabinet shop. I was a purist, no particle board, two dowells to each joint, and started in a county with a population of less than seven thousand. The reason for the failure was simple...personal discipline was not up to the task The second business was remodeling/mobile structure troubleshoot and repair to include all systems.(plumbing,electrical, foundation, etc.) Important word here....DIVERSE. Though I wanted to do pretty kitchens and baths...I DID what the folks would pay me to do. Lotsa attics, crawlspaces, spiders and dirt. Not glamorous, but profitable. Had a loving wife that took care of all the paperwork and I just worked 16+ hours a day, six days a week, (gave the seventh to the Lord), 51 weeks a year.(the52nd was buck season) Again...personal discipline. The most profound thing I learned about being successful was the most simple....Do what you say you are going to do....and be where you say you're gonna be when you're supposed to be there. Kinda strange...you adhere to those two points and folks may not notice....but if you break one of those two..THEY WILL NEVER HIRE YOU BACK! Good Luck, GO FOR IT!
S
Sat X RB
Clearspot, the thing that stands out for me in yr post is the words you use, the assumptions you make about yrself.
like what makes is yr question a 'stupid' one? seems to me that's an echo of your father's voice (or whomever brung you up). what makes Him/Her still the AUTHORITY for what you are????
obviously you are successful in family life. dammit you've got one! a family that is. and there's respect in it if you listen to what yr wife says!
just make sure yr wife gives it back!
and all those FEELINGS words you use ... like 'hate' (fuck, that's a bad word. I suppose it was used in yr birth family too?)
and your tale of woe about not achieving and not being welcomed by work mates ... and oh fuck ... sounds to me like yr wallowing in yr feelings ... getting high on DOWN!!!
Mate MOST of us don't achieve anything notable in our lives! and what the fuck IS notable anyway? it's ALL controlled folly. even Obama's efforts are controlled folly because in 100 years he won't matter jackshit!
you can't pull the wool over my eyes ... I 'm not sucked in by yr self-pity! you're not depressed yr just wallowing in self-importance! 'nothing notable'? Bullshit!
BUT as far as I 'm concerned I 'm not going to pay any attention to yr bullshit cos I reckon just like I am that you are LOVEABLE, BEAUTIFUL and WORTHWHILE!
stop gazing at yr navel. begin to LOOK UP. put some sunshine in yr mental images. go for a walk and look at the trees, children playing, dogs shitting fer chrissake!
dream of yr parents and tell them to fuck off!
like what makes is yr question a 'stupid' one? seems to me that's an echo of your father's voice (or whomever brung you up). what makes Him/Her still the AUTHORITY for what you are????
obviously you are successful in family life. dammit you've got one! a family that is. and there's respect in it if you listen to what yr wife says!
just make sure yr wife gives it back!
and all those FEELINGS words you use ... like 'hate' (fuck, that's a bad word. I suppose it was used in yr birth family too?)
and your tale of woe about not achieving and not being welcomed by work mates ... and oh fuck ... sounds to me like yr wallowing in yr feelings ... getting high on DOWN!!!
Mate MOST of us don't achieve anything notable in our lives! and what the fuck IS notable anyway? it's ALL controlled folly. even Obama's efforts are controlled folly because in 100 years he won't matter jackshit!
you can't pull the wool over my eyes ... I 'm not sucked in by yr self-pity! you're not depressed yr just wallowing in self-importance! 'nothing notable'? Bullshit!
BUT as far as I 'm concerned I 'm not going to pay any attention to yr bullshit cos I reckon just like I am that you are LOVEABLE, BEAUTIFUL and WORTHWHILE!
stop gazing at yr navel. begin to LOOK UP. put some sunshine in yr mental images. go for a walk and look at the trees, children playing, dogs shitting fer chrissake!
dream of yr parents and tell them to fuck off!
im at the same age with the same number of children and a wife
first you have done something of note, you have passed the gift of life and care for two children
what your feeling now is natural and very normal
you can still achieve your dreams if you really want to but let me help with some simple advice
first when it comes to big life changes when you have a family and need to meet so many ends
there is a word called kaizen and I was taught the meaning is big change in many small steps, best strategy for you
second don't try to overcome your weaknesses in reaching your goals
we all have strengths and weaknesses and to spend energy trying to change something your not naturally good at is self defeating
instead used your strengths, directly or indirectly, that is use your strengths to capitalize and then delegate your weaknesses
third find way to celebrate the life within you and around you REGARDLESS because it is the only way to recharge those batteries so you can find the energy to make the changes you want
i might make the first step a small business management course at the local college, see how a change of environment feels see how learning feels , see if learning about small business gives you the tools to feel more confident
good luck
Agaricus
Active member
Knowledge. That's a simplistic answer and many of us have work to do in the self-confidence department, but learning how to do what you want to do goes a long way. It can help minimize the inevitable setbacks.
The most helpful post I've seen in this thread (among some pretty helpful posts) was the one about SBA and SCORE. Dealing with SCORE it might take a couple of iterations to find the right mentor, but as a rule they'll all give you good input. The organization offers a lot of business training at little or no cost.
Runnning a business is a pain in the arse, but it can be the path to a lot of satisfaction, and if you do it right a more than adequate income.
The most helpful post I've seen in this thread (among some pretty helpful posts) was the one about SBA and SCORE. Dealing with SCORE it might take a couple of iterations to find the right mentor, but as a rule they'll all give you good input. The organization offers a lot of business training at little or no cost.
Runnning a business is a pain in the arse, but it can be the path to a lot of satisfaction, and if you do it right a more than adequate income.
sounds like you took your first step to becoming what you want anyway.. so many of us get into places like that and never do what you did..
still your problems in life stem internally so you could be lacking mental stimulation and the atrophication is like hot needles causing turmoil in what you expected from life or maybe you dont even know enough about yourself ,,
cannabis is a plant teacher after all, one of many tools used by humans to guide them and heal their thinking,,, but when people get to certain points in life other entheogens would have been classically used to initiate you out of and into another level of thinking..
maybe the reason you came onto here to make this thread is because you subconsciously know that entheogens are what you need,,
if i were the village shaman i would send you off to the "journey" hut where you would be fed mushrooms or peyote till you tripped balls and were able to ask all the questions of your innerself and also be able to see your destinies clearer,, but thesedays you just get given antidepressants which like all "western medicine" doesnt cure the root problem,,
still your problems in life stem internally so you could be lacking mental stimulation and the atrophication is like hot needles causing turmoil in what you expected from life or maybe you dont even know enough about yourself ,,
cannabis is a plant teacher after all, one of many tools used by humans to guide them and heal their thinking,,, but when people get to certain points in life other entheogens would have been classically used to initiate you out of and into another level of thinking..
maybe the reason you came onto here to make this thread is because you subconsciously know that entheogens are what you need,,
if i were the village shaman i would send you off to the "journey" hut where you would be fed mushrooms or peyote till you tripped balls and were able to ask all the questions of your innerself and also be able to see your destinies clearer,, but thesedays you just get given antidepressants which like all "western medicine" doesnt cure the root problem,,
I know exactly where you are bro... My suggestions:
#1 get a full night's sleep every night.
#2 eat a good and balanced diet. 5-6 small and healthy meals per day. candy, soda, tobacco, caffeine is OK in small quantities.
#3 learn to exercise. it's not something you just do; it requires much learning, and it's tough at first. it's well worth the effort.
#4 meditation is something I highly recommend.
#5 try MDMA. this could actually be #1, as one good roll will give you a big boost down the right path in life. i.e. defeating depression. Also, psychedelics. I tried 2c-c a few times, kinda hard to get that one but it was an amazingly eye opening experience.
#6 spend your time learning and practicing something you enjoy, with the aim of starting your own business doing that one day soon. It will take time; don't expect to quit your job tomorrow. Don't put it off another minute though.
#7 don't say hello to fuckwads who won't even say it back. in fact don't give those people the time of day. Only people who show respect get respect.
#8 learn everything you can about finance and business in general. Develop an insatiable appetite for reading and learning, which should not be hard to do if it's about something you really love (related to your business idea) or will help to improve your life (i.e. managing finances.) my recommendations: every book by Robert Kiyosaki, especially Rich Dad Poor Dad, and Before You Quit Your Job. Donald Trump/Kiyosaki "Why We Want You To Be Rich." Those would be some good ones to start with.
#9 read other books about or written by people who inspire you.
This country is tailored for employees and is all about keeping you in that state, not encouraging entrepreneurs. Going outside the bounds of "normal society" and out on your own is tough and it will test your resolve. You can easily quit when a trouble arises, or you can stick to it and learn and improve. If you do stick with it then that's what will build your confidence. Confidence comes from *knowing* you can handle anything. Knowing you can handle anything comes from confronting challenges head on, things that are hard, and finding that they weren't so tough after all. You get tougher and tougher and life gets easier and easier. Funny how life works in that way; those who spend their lives running towards what's easy end up having the toughest lives.
Regardless of what has happened in the past, the power is now in your hands to change your future. Colonel Sanders was broke and unemployed in his 60s and turned down hundreds of times before he finally found a company willing to pay him for his fried chicken recipe; his troubles didn't magically end there, but he persisted and got through them and now his face is in every American city.
Don't be so down on yourself; be proud of yourself and what you know and what you've accomplished. Know that you are somebody who is a worthwhile part of your community in real life and in this one. I am glad you brought this thread up so we could get a chance to tell you this. I hope you get some good information out of it and get yourself started down the road to happiness. Trust me, it will be long and hard, but it's worth every step of the way! Have fun brother....that's what life is about.
#1 get a full night's sleep every night.
#2 eat a good and balanced diet. 5-6 small and healthy meals per day. candy, soda, tobacco, caffeine is OK in small quantities.
#3 learn to exercise. it's not something you just do; it requires much learning, and it's tough at first. it's well worth the effort.
#4 meditation is something I highly recommend.
#5 try MDMA. this could actually be #1, as one good roll will give you a big boost down the right path in life. i.e. defeating depression. Also, psychedelics. I tried 2c-c a few times, kinda hard to get that one but it was an amazingly eye opening experience.
#6 spend your time learning and practicing something you enjoy, with the aim of starting your own business doing that one day soon. It will take time; don't expect to quit your job tomorrow. Don't put it off another minute though.
#7 don't say hello to fuckwads who won't even say it back. in fact don't give those people the time of day. Only people who show respect get respect.
#8 learn everything you can about finance and business in general. Develop an insatiable appetite for reading and learning, which should not be hard to do if it's about something you really love (related to your business idea) or will help to improve your life (i.e. managing finances.) my recommendations: every book by Robert Kiyosaki, especially Rich Dad Poor Dad, and Before You Quit Your Job. Donald Trump/Kiyosaki "Why We Want You To Be Rich." Those would be some good ones to start with.
#9 read other books about or written by people who inspire you.
This country is tailored for employees and is all about keeping you in that state, not encouraging entrepreneurs. Going outside the bounds of "normal society" and out on your own is tough and it will test your resolve. You can easily quit when a trouble arises, or you can stick to it and learn and improve. If you do stick with it then that's what will build your confidence. Confidence comes from *knowing* you can handle anything. Knowing you can handle anything comes from confronting challenges head on, things that are hard, and finding that they weren't so tough after all. You get tougher and tougher and life gets easier and easier. Funny how life works in that way; those who spend their lives running towards what's easy end up having the toughest lives.
Regardless of what has happened in the past, the power is now in your hands to change your future. Colonel Sanders was broke and unemployed in his 60s and turned down hundreds of times before he finally found a company willing to pay him for his fried chicken recipe; his troubles didn't magically end there, but he persisted and got through them and now his face is in every American city.
Don't be so down on yourself; be proud of yourself and what you know and what you've accomplished. Know that you are somebody who is a worthwhile part of your community in real life and in this one. I am glad you brought this thread up so we could get a chance to tell you this. I hope you get some good information out of it and get yourself started down the road to happiness. Trust me, it will be long and hard, but it's worth every step of the way! Have fun brother....that's what life is about.
As a man thinks within himself, so is he.
You reap what you sow.
A tree is always known by it's fruit.
Change your thinking to line up with your desire, "feeling" is an emotion that is subject to change at any given time, how you think will change how you feel.
If you want corn, plant corn, if wheat is what you desire, plant wheat, you reap what you sow.
Talk to yourself in a positive way, the Scriptures can actually help you with all of this.
You are designed and wired to be a beacon of light, it's all in your hands and no one can do it for you.
Regards.
You reap what you sow.
A tree is always known by it's fruit.
Change your thinking to line up with your desire, "feeling" is an emotion that is subject to change at any given time, how you think will change how you feel.
If you want corn, plant corn, if wheat is what you desire, plant wheat, you reap what you sow.
Talk to yourself in a positive way, the Scriptures can actually help you with all of this.
You are designed and wired to be a beacon of light, it's all in your hands and no one can do it for you.
Regards.
Eat Healthy: Raw foods when possible. Stay away from processed crap.
Lift Hard: find an exercise you like to do it and learn to do it well. I like lifting weights and bodybuilding. Some like running, crossfit, etc.
Fuck Good: Read up on Taoism and sex. Learn self control in the bedroom. Nothing will make you feel better than getting your lady off (several times).
Everything you need lies within you. Change your mindset and change your life. You should never be comfortable in life IMO. You should always be trying to grow, which is painful, but is the essence of life.
Lift Hard: find an exercise you like to do it and learn to do it well. I like lifting weights and bodybuilding. Some like running, crossfit, etc.
Fuck Good: Read up on Taoism and sex. Learn self control in the bedroom. Nothing will make you feel better than getting your lady off (several times).
Everything you need lies within you. Change your mindset and change your life. You should never be comfortable in life IMO. You should always be trying to grow, which is painful, but is the essence of life.
Grobot2010
Member
To paraphrase several masters, "Put one foot in front of the other, if something gets in your way turn."
