If you want to get your ex g/f back...

[barnyard]

naw...that's just not how the world works...

When It's Over
Sugar Ray
_____

When it's over
That's the time I fall in love again
And when it's over
That's the time you're in my heart again
And it never ends

Chorus:
All the things that I used to say
All the words that got in the way
All the things that I used to know
Have gone out the window
All the things that she used to bring
All the songs she used to sing
All the favorite TV shows
Have gone out the window

I'm missing you
I never knew how much she'd loved me
I'm missing you
I never knew how much you meant to me
I need you and when you go go go go
I know, it never ends, never ends

Repeat Chorus

When it's over
Can I still come over
In the middle of the night
When it's over
Is it really over
Or are you coming back this time, this time, this time

 

[Siomha]

PART I
After a breakup people make the biggest mistake of begging their ex to take them back. I know it seems like the right thing to do right after a breakup BUT IT’S NOT. In fact, it is the worst thing you can do at this moment.

Nobody wants to be with a needy person. Pleading and being needy is unattractive and is only going to push your ex further away from you. It will only make them think that they made the right decision by breaking up with you.
The Doormat Syndrome in relationships is going out of your way, sacrificing your own happiness to please your partner. It means accepting everything that your partner wants you to do without having any demands of your own just to get back with them.

If you find yourself saying things like, “Please stay, I will do anything for you” then you may be suffering from the doormat syndrome.

You don’t want that. Nobody wants that and for two very solid reasons –

a) It’s unattractive. Nobody is attracted to someone who doesn’t have their own opinion, needs, or their hobbies. So being a doormat will most likely be futile if you want to win your ex back.

b) Even if you do get your ex back like this, you will have an unhappy and smothering relationship which probably won’t last very long. And I am sure that’s not what you want.

This is again a very common mistake and yet detrimental to your chances of getting back together with your ex. People go out to have a few drinks trying to have a good time and the next thing they know they are calling their ex and making a fool out of themselves. Avoid this at all cost.

You have to make yourself scarce if you want to get your ex back (explained in STEP 2 of this plan). Texting them all the time and calling them just shows that you are too needy and don’t have anything else to do. As I said before, being needy is unattractive and you want to avoid this at all cost.

Saying "I love you" will NOT help your case
The logical approach to get your ex back seems that you should tell them how much you care for them and how much you love them as soon as possible before it’s too late. But trust me it’s not a good idea.

Well, chances are your ex knows that you love them and they know how much you care for them. In fact, if they were in a relationship with you, then they care for you too. But they decided to breakup anyways, didn’t they?

“I love you” and “I really really care for you” isn’t what your ex needs to hear right now. Smothering them with affection may even push them further away.
At this point, even if it was your ex who broke up with you, you don’t want to give them all the power. You don’t want to be the one who is always available for them. You don’t want to be their contingency plan.

Acting like your life is over without your ex will only lose their respect for you. In the history of breakups, no one has ever taken their ex back out of pity. So, doing such a thing is only going to hurt your chances.

After a breakup, you feel depressed, angry confused, shattered, and are really hurting. At this moment, if your ex starts seeing someone else, it just tears you apart. You feel even more depressed and confused. And usually, when your ex is in this rebound relationship, they seem to become too intimate too fast, which makes it even worse for you, for example it took them 5 months to get physical with you and they are already sleeping with this new person who they are going with for only a week.

In this situation, DON’T FREAK OUT. Rebound relationships happen after a break up, it’s very very normal. But the good news is that they don’t last. And the reason why they became so intimate with this new person so fast is because it’s hard for a person to go from being so intimate with someone to being completely single. That is why most people (especially girls) will become intimate very soon with their rebound relationship because they are trying to get to that level of intimacy that they had with you. But usually, the faster the rebound relationship progresses, the faster it ends. They will soon realize that the new person isn’t right for them and they were just being intimate to quench their thirst for intimacy. And once they do realize it, they will break up with them.

So if your ex is seeing someone else, all you have to do is just be cool about it. That’s all. Sometimes, they start seeing someone else just to rub in your face that they are moving on. And you should not react to their relationship by telling them they are doing a mistake and they shouldn’t be seeing this new person. This is because if you tell someone to don’t do something, then you can rest assured that is exactly what they will do. In fact, if you do so they will go to the extent of prolonging their rebound relationship just to prove you wrong.

Instead if you do something opposite, and act indifferent to their new relationship and just concentrate on your own life (career, hobbies etc.), it will get them thinking. And their rebound relationship will end soon like all other rebound relationships.

Now the above mistakes look innocent but are fatal for your chances to get back together with your ex. So make sure you don’t do them. I know most of the advice I gave above is counter-intuitive, BUT IT WORKS.

At this point, you may be thinking what if I’ve already made these mistakes?

Don’t worry if you’ve already made these mistakes. Like I said, they are very common and chances are that most of you reading this would have already made some of these mistakes. It’s still not too late. You still have a good chance of getting your ex back. I just ask you to not make any of these mistakes anymore. If need be; print this page out and keep it with you all the time so you don’t do any of these mistake again.

Now That we have covered what you need to avoid, we can move forward to what you need to do.

 

[gloryoskie]

I don't like getting back with someone I broke up with. Mabey if there were kids involved.
Mabey.

 

[supermanlives]

bang her friends HARD

 

[Siomha]

PART II and PART III

hope you guys enjou reading this

So, now you know what are the things that you SHOULDN’T do to get your ex back. In this Step, I am going to tell you what you should do if you want to win your ex back.

The first and the most important step to win your ex back is to end all communication with them.

Did you just say -

“What if they move on?”

“What if they start dating someone else?”

“What if they forget about our relationship until I keep reminding them how great we were together?”

Good questions. And the answer to all of them is, THEY WON’T.

It’s not easy to forget someone. It’s not easy to move on after a breakup. It’s not easy for you, and it won’t be easy for them. Even though they may look like they are calm and don’t care on the outside, the truth is they are probably hurting as much as you are from the inside. They may start dating someone else but don’t worry about that, as I said in STEP 1, rebound relationships are normal and they will not last long.

I am not asking you to end the contact forever. You will talk to them again, and you will start hanging out with them again; but only after a certain period of time. That period of time can be one week, two weeks or even a month depending on how long it’s been since you broke up. You don’t want to extend it too much that they move on.

You don’t have to tell them that you are ending contact with them. You just do it without informing them. If you work in the same office and can’t avoid each other, then just say Hi when you guys pass each other. Make sure you don’t chat with them unless it’s absolutely necessary. A short casual conversation is okay, but nothing too long.

I realize that for some of you, one month may already have passed. And you may want to skip ahead to the next step. But don’t do it, because there are a few things that you need to do in this step before you can move on to the next step. So make sure complete your assignment for this month before advancing to the next step.

What will you do for one month then?
First of all, you need to stop panicking. You need to calm down and regain composure. You need to start thinking rationally if you want to win your ex back.

Take a breather. Go out, breath the fresh air, do something that you like doing.

You MUST realize that panicking is not going to help you and you will not be able to get your love back until you are in your senses and thinking rationally.

Calm down and focus. I will tell you about a cool technique that you can use to calm down at the end of STEP 3.
START THINKING REASONABLY

The next thing you need to do, is think about why you want to win your ex back?

After a breakup, most people are in a confused and emotional state and they say things to themselves that aren’t true. Things like –

- I will die if I don’t get my ex back

- I will never find anyone else

- I will never be able to love again

All of the above is false. You need to realize that your life will move on with or without your ex. Even if you don’t get your ex back, you will love again and still live a happy life. I am not saying you should forget about getting your ex back, I am just saying that you need to realize that your life is still beautiful and exciting even without your ex. Be the person who loves life and people will start loving you.


Life is beautiful. Accept it.
Now that we have brought you back to your senses, think about your relationship. Do you really think that you could have a long and healthy relationship with your ex? Think with your brain and not with your heart. Remember how your relationship used to be. You are the best judge in this situation. If you’ve decided that your relationship is worth saving, read on.

You need to figure out what went wrong in the relationship and work on it. Whatever caused your ex to leave, will make them leave again if you don’t improve yourself.

Each breakup is unique, but most of the time, the true reason behind breakup never comes up while breaking up. Sometimes, your partner will give you a lame excuse like “I just don’t love you anymore” or “this relationship isn’t working”. Even if the reason for breakup was infidelity, think about why they cheated on you.

Men and women both have different needs in a relationship and if you want to have a long lasting happy relationship, you should understand what your partner craves for. When men leave a relationship, it’s because they weren’t getting what they want from a women. No, it’s not sex. Similarly, Women leave a relationship because they are not getting what they crave for, and it’s completely different from what men want.

Take note that we are not going to try using the “I have changed for you” tactic to get your ex back. Logic has very little effect on decisions when such high emotions are involved. But if you do change yourself for the good and work on things together, then you both will stay together in a happy relationship for a long long time.

Get in Shape, Socialize, and Start Enjoying Your Life

There are a few other things that you need to do before you contact your ex.


Exercise daily and make it a routine. You will be glad you did.
-You need to get in your best shape. A half hour of exercise everyday will help release the stress, make you feel better and will keep you in shape.

- You need to start hanging out with your friends. Socializing is important. This is a good time to catch up with your old friends and do things that you enjoy doing.

- You’ll have to start doing what you like. Something that’s your hobby. Or maybe you can get a new hobby.

Now the above things may seem trivial but trust me they are very important. These are the things that will make you realize how wonderful life is and once you start appreciating your life, you will immediately become a lot more attractive to your ex. In addition, they will make you feel healthier and much confident which is absolutely imperative for Step 3.

By the end of this time period, you will be thinking logically and not emotionally and you would’ve decided whether or not you want to give your relationship another chance, you are ready to move on to step 3 aka THE GAME PLAN

Regain Contact

Now you need to contact your ex. For this you will need an opening move. You are not going to tell them you want to get back together. You just want to get back in contact with your ex. There are many ways to do so. You can call them, send them a text message, email them, write a message on their facebook wall or leave a message on their answering machine.

But the most and effective way to regain contact is by a HAND WRITTEN LETTER. You see, what’s different always stands out. In this world of text message and emails, a HAND WRITTEN LETTER is much more emotional than sending 10 text messages.

Think about it, how would you feel if you get a hand written letter from one of your friends? Would you be grateful that they took some time to write a letter and post it to you rather than just writing on your facebook wall? Would you be touched? Emotionally?

A hand written letter can create a vacuum and sometimes this alone can bring your ex back to you.

But be CAREFUL, what you say and what you write in the letter can have positive or negative effect in your situation. I will tell you exactly what to say at the end of this series when I tell you about using some of the ninja tactics to get your ex back.

Meet Up

Once you make contact again, you will ask your ex out for a date. But not a dinner date or a movie. You want to keep it short and sweet. In fact, you won’t even call it a date. You will just ask them to hang out with you. Maybe for a lunch or a cup of coffee. Just catch up. Alright.

This date will be your chance to reconnect with your ex emotionally. YOU ARE NOT going to try to fix your problems and talk about what went wrong. You see, big problems in a relationship will almost fix themselves if there is enough passion in a relationship…BUT… Even the smallest problems will seem like mountains if there’s NO passion.

If you make this a small emotionally charged date, it will fix the relationship much more than a long two hour conversation of why the breakup happened.

Be the Person they fell in love with

Once you set up the date, you will have to show them how you’ve changed yourself for the better.You have to be the person they once fell in love with.

Don’t talk about what went wrong. And if they want to talk about it, just listen and don’t reply. If they insist on discussing it, just say that you don’t want to discuss it right now, maybe later.

There is one more very important thing about human psychology that I want you to know. You see, our brain associates feeling with objects, events, smells, and other people. For example, the smell of a pie baking brings back good memories from your childhood. Similarly, the brain associates people with the bad experiences in a relationship. If you had a bad breakup then chances are that your ex’s brain has associated bad feelings with you. And whenever they see you, they feel the same way that they felt when you broke up or when you were fighting.

You can use a simple strategy of pattern breaking to stop this bad association which we will talk about at the end of this series when I tell you about the ninja techniques to get your ex back.

Make The Right Moves

This date will be short and sweet. But you can do a lot of small things in this short date to push the right buttons and get your ex thinking about getting back together. There are so many little techniques and there could be so many situations for different couples, that it’s not possible to put them all in this short series……

 

[lost in a sea]

i think you should have a huge panic attack or several,, because your going to be alone forever now she's gone,, then drive round to her place looking a total mess, obviously asking her to come back,, whilst her and her new (much bigger better) bloke peers through the curtains and she tells him not to kick your ass for being such a pathetic loser,,

that way you will totally kill your opinion of your chances of getting back together and accept you have to move on,,

if you go back and renegotiate the terms you will have to concede to being pussy whipped,,

 

[dddaver]

Easy...just win the lottery. She'll call YOU.

 

[mrcreosote]

If you want to get your ex g/f back...

Kidnap her kitty and tell her you'll microwave it if she doesn't take you back...

It might work.