My New Favorite "We the People" Petition

[Tony Aroma]

If I were a betting man, I'd wager this is the only petition to ever receive a satisfactory answer. Except for that last sentence—I have a feeling that request will be denied.

We demand a vapid, condescending, meaningless, politically safe response to this petition.

Since these petitions are ignored apart from an occasional patronizing and inane political statement amounting to nothing more than a condescending pat on the head, we the signers would enjoy having the illusion of success. Since no other outcome to this process seems possible, we demand that the White House immediately assign a junior staffer to compose a tame and vapid response to this petition, and never attempt to take any meaningful action on this or any other issue. We would also like a cookie.

Sign the petition here.

 

[OrganicOzarks]

So true.

 

[cobcoop]

Haha. 10k votes

I like this one

we petition the obama administration to:
Stop lying

about marijuana

about why we intervene militarily in other countries

about the crimes of past admins

about how the Patriot Act is interpreted

about food safety

about the health hazards in the Gulf post spill

about safety levels and Japan’s nuclear accident

about hiring lobbyists

about an open government

about respecting states’ rights

about stopping terrorists

about airport body scanner safety

about job creation

about the state of the Union

about too big to fail corporations

about hydrofracking

about corporate personhood

about conflicts of interest at the Federal Reserve and Supreme Court

about the health industry

about the effectiveness of using contractors to support our military

about susceptibility of economy to financial speculators

about taking petitions seriously

Mostly stop lying

 

[PoopyTeaBags]

nice one co

 

[amannamedtruth]

signed

 

[Fred el Gato]

What type of cookie? And do I get milk with that?

 

[Tony Aroma]

What type of cookie? And do I get milk with that?

Better be careful. If you start a milk AND cookie petition, they'll probably get lumped together in the same response.

 

[Preacher]

This one will probably get grouped with the industrial hemp petition actually.