Why I will no longer loan anything to anyone, or do favors for people ever again....

[djingo]

In my guess dats a respect thang yuno. nice people do have a hart time. in my opinion a good balance of beeing nice and tuff makes the difference on how people are lookin at you,
and how they will treat you and your propperty.

I like nice people it´s a good thang, a good attitude.
head up man, people can do lot worse than fuckn with your hd,
though you might look at it differently.

peace

 

[limegreensuit]

I hear you, bro.
Borrowing is the worst feeling ever; especially putting yourself out there and more often than not getting rejected.

I've had people do similar things, the worst being with CUTS that I gave. To TWO people who I thought were "medical users"
when I came to a time where I needed my cuts back, I assumed TWO PEOPLE have them TWO FRIENDS, no problem....
BOTH of these cats ended up taking my cuts and telling me to hit the road. One of them is such a pussy, he didn't even respond to me, just simply ignored me and expected me to go away.

people are horrible, and I do the very best I can to steer clear of others, I just don't have the time, energy, patience, or the iota of care.

 

[VerdantGreen]

I used to think like you do, then I realized that my expectations of people needed to be adjusted downward. If you expect bullshit, you won't be surprised when you get it.

agreed, people, in general, are sh1t. I have learned to not expect too much of most people. often it's not a malicious thing - they are just fairly useless.

 

[billy_big_bud!]

for a lot of people being nice is intrinct. myself included. two sayings have served me well since being repeatedly burnt. "dont lend what you cant afford to give" and " no good deed goes unpunished"

 

[PoopyTeaBags]

been there a million times..

 

[BrnCow]

Many people cannot finish jobs or projects. Some were abused when they were young. they cleaned their rooms and their parents bitched and moaned about what they did wrong instead of stepping in and helping them finish the job to spec. So eventually, they just say fuck it because they are going to get the bs anyway so why work hard? If you can learn to recognize these people - and there are many - you will never loan them anything as they will never finish the deal. Then , there are the thieves, liars, and cheaters. Forget them too. They are rippers and baiters. And then there are the kinfolks. Kin folks kin folk ya (can fuck you). So you have to be careful there also. Maybe, if you are inclined to help people, just fucking give the motherfuckers stuff or money and forget it. If they pay any of it back cool...if they are not baiting you for a bigger score off your wallet. Don't give twice. Don't buy their bs stuff to help them twice. This stops the bait and take scam... Don't front stuff. Give them some..fuck it! And remind them this is the first and last time. If they come back and hook you up then you might consider it later...not sooner. Sometimes it is an advantage to loan someone more than they can repay and just count it as loss when you do it. They will likely get themselves lost after you ask for it a few times. Cheap price to get loose from a dumb ass. Most ripoffs will never pay you back even the first payment. If you get even one payment from them and are checking on them weekly - you might get it all back. Get ripped or burned once...just a common mistake that you could have likely used logic on and never done in the first place...Get it twice from the same fucker...you have been played and bit the bait and got reeled in....stop chasin bait....and that covers the guys...on women -sheesh...don't get me started...the odor oozing from their crotch can screw a guys good sense in about 5 minutes flat....the ho is moaning! They relish doing that shit to men and just think we are stupid...but we get hormone fucked ( think drooling male dog after he smells a bitch dog in heat-cannot stop following her around getting even more in his system while she puts him through the paces...) and they know it. Best hide the $$ in the wall safe and forget the combo while they are around. Maybe put closet dri in the chair they are sitting in and using a gas mask to haul it to the dumpster ASAP after they leave and air out the house. OOoooh that smell.... even the bed linens where they slept will fuck a guy up for weeks...later

 

[FRIENDinDEED]

There are certain things that I will loan to ppl and certain things that never leave my household or site.

Dad always told me to never lend your tools to anyone, hes always been the prime example of what not to do, don’t know why he keeps doing it, but Ive got the lesson learned and thankfully it wasn’t the hard way.

Be mindful of lending your things out. Things that you know you can get back easily or is not a problem for you to lose then fine let it go, but if there are things that you know are dear/ important/you need in a clutch/ cant replace or just have a fondness of, then those things you never let leave your sight.

Im straight up with ppl and let them know where I stand off the bat. If there is something you may want to borrow or need for a certain while I would loan it to you but I let the person know that im gonna need it back soon and will come looking for it. I’ll even fuck around and ask for it back sooner than expected either because I needed it or I changed my mind about lending it out.

Other things ill let you know that don’t leave my possession, sorry but its mine and it is what it is.

I get the whole karma thing and that cool but you always have to feel ppl out if that’s the route your gonna take. Be straight up with ppl and let them know where you stand on things that belong to you. No one is gonna treat your shit the way you do or the way you would want them to.

I don’t think you should never try and build that type of relationship up with others around you BUT a person should definitely be more discerning about it and candid. Whether its money, property, assistance always let the other person know where you stand and give them once chance to prove themselves. If the person comes up short and comes back again you remind them of when they fucked you over the last time and let that one time be the last time!

 

[dansbuds]

Whats even worse is when its your own family ..... granted its not my blood but my stepsons I've raised sense they were infants so i thought they had a pretty good understanding of how things in life work , but i guess not .
My middle stepson wanted to start up his own grow , so I showed him how to get going , helped him decide on what he needed to get things going . I supplied him with soils , nutes & clones (about 18 ) . showed him how to maintain his environment , mix his nutes ... everything . he did pretty good for his first harvest . I was out of buds at the time so i asked to him to hook me up with a half a zip ..... he says yeah no problem .... it will cost ya 150$ . I looked at him .... didn't say a word handed him the money & left .... pissed off like you wouldn't believe . he wouldn't even had this to sell me if it weren't for me & hes gonna charge me ... full price !!! I've given him smoke numerous times without ever charging him a dime ..... WTF ????? where do these kids get their morals from ?I was never & am still not like that .....true friends & family never pay for shit from me .... never will .
I just don't get people today .... was most of society raised to think its OK to beg borrow & steal your way through life ???? what the hell happened to working for what you want . what happened to respect ? for people & their things ?

 

[Noobian]

I don't loan tools or money. I'll use the tool to help you, but I'm the operator not you. I take care of my stuff which is why it lasts me a long time. I'm 53 and I still have tools I bought in college, like portable table saw, orbital sander, hammers.

This is a great post and very good common sense!

 

[sneaky101]

Some of the best money I've ever spent was on 'losing' some 'friends'

A bargain at any price,really.

Don't let a couple of unappreciative bastards steal away the good will you feel by being yourself, otherwise they win.

I agree, it's nice when ppl want to borrow small amounts too. Real cheap way to find if ppl can be trusted.

I've been burned so many times with money that I no longer "loan" out money. If someone asks to borrow money, they will only get it if I want to give it to them. And as far as I am concerned it will be a gift and not a loan. That way I feel good about helping them even if I don't getting back, and if they actually pay me back....bonus! Hardly ever happens though. Doesn't matter if it's friends or family. Like the person before said, they often feel like you are better off than they are, even if you don't have money to piss away, you "owe" them something. People who are honest, have integrity, that their word really means something are extremely hard to find.

Also, when I borrow...never happens anymore, no oNe has to ask me for their item or money. I don't feel like I should have to ask for my stuff back either. It is expected. That says something about the other person if you have to pester someone to get your stuff.

There is my rant, sorry it was so long, just got through with a bowl

 

[Harry Gypsna]

I knew some people who borrowed a car to go to a festival, it broke down halfway there, and they just carried on hitching the rest of the way, never even phoned the guy, came back a week later-sans automobile, and were mad at him for the car breaking down.

 

[silver hawaiian]

Some of the best money I've ever spent was on 'losing' some 'friends'

A bargain at any price,really.

Don't let a couple of unappreciative bastards steal away the good will you feel by being yourself, otherwise they win.

Sometimes, it's the price of getting someone out of your life.

 

[NOKUY]

Some of the best money I've ever spent was on 'losing' some 'friends'

A bargain at any price,really.

Don't let a couple of unappreciative bastards steal away the good will you feel by being yourself, otherwise they win.

yep....if u loan someone $100 bucks and never see that person again....it's money well spent

 

[mtbazz]

Glad to see Im not the only jaded person...

Just to clarify a couple of things based on comments I read here and don't feel like quoting individually:

1) The hard drive: This was a third backup. I never expected my primary and secondary backups to fail at the same time, and never expected the person who possessed it to be stupid enough to do the exact opposite of what I told him.

2) No, I am not a sucker. I won't hand my hard earned things over to just any person. The people that I loaned to/helped out were people that for all intents and purposes seemed to have some integrity, but maybe another poster was right, Im a bad judge of character.

3) Will I continue to help people? Not in the short term thats for sure. In the long term maybe, but there will be stipulations attached, probably along the lines of "I will help you but only if you help me first", but than again I may just tell them to go fuck themselves.


The thing that sucks ass is that I genuinely like to share what I have with others that may not be so fortunate, it is too bad that 90% of people see this as something to take advantage of.

 

[sso]

learn to read people

 

[F. Dupp]

He who borrows money and valuable items to friends soon has no friends.

A longtime "friend" borrowed $1800 from me about 6 months ago claiming he would "pay me back next week". A month later he gave me $500 and I have not heard from him since.

 

[Stoner4Life]

I have about 600 store bought DVDs & over 1000 CDs by now, I obviously pay for my shit instead of stealing it online. I have friends that don't understand my stance on NOT lending out any CD/DVDs, if I lend it out I would have to take it back and listen/watch it from start to finish to make sure they didn't fuck it up for starters; case in point was my Star Wars 'Phantom Menace' DVD lent to a friend begging me for it to satisfy his kids wants one weekend when he had them. When I got it back it looked fine, when I ran it it was so trashed it wouldn't run w/out skipping & freezing constantly, it appears he let his children handle my disc which I basically forbid him to do. I insisted on $20 or replace it physically and of course he refused, I asked him if his kids complained it wouldn't run in the player and he said it worked fine, fuck me!

Sometime later the above friggin' stroke had his power shut off for non-payment and wanted to borrow my brand new, never used generator, "that AIN'T happening" I said into the phone and while he was running his mouth about how important it was to him he heard the 'click of me hanging up, "we got disconnected" he said when calling me back, "we sure did!" was what he heard before the next time I hung up on him.

Another friend has lent me BIG cash in times of need (6k one time, 10K another) and how so when he wanted to borrow a handful of DVDs how could I say no to him? I lent him 5 and jotted down the titles, 3 months later @ his home I saw 3 of them sitting next to the TV set and asked if he was done w/them and where were the other 2 titles? He said "what others?", he had no more of my DVDs!!! I told him I'd go home and look up the titles to see which ones he didn't have sitting there, when I told him that 'Blazing Saddles' (where's all the white wimmens at?) and 'Independence Day' were not there he said..... "oh yeah, I lent those to my buddy Wayne." I've never seen them again and yet all loans were always repaid by me on time & with interest, as Adam Sandler used to say....... "Fuck me in the goat ass!" The plus side was that he NEVER asked to borrow another DVD from me since then.

I enjoy the hell outta my movies and music and now tell these stories to friends asking to borrow from me, the answer is now....... NEVER AGAIN!


btw, none of my stuff was bought from BMG or Capitol clubs, they do not offer my eclectic taste in music and you have to wait ages for DVD releases to appear, all store bought or from eBay/Amazon one at a time.

 

[yesum]

I have been lucky with loaning stuff, but never had a lot of stuff.... so that would be part of it. I lent a guy I worked with $5000, but he was there for years working with me. If I were to do it again I would not. Got it back with interest, but the risk was all mine.

Now days I give small items to people from time to time, but borrowing is pretty much off limits, due to what I have seen happen to others. Giving makes you feel good even if the person taking it does not ever return the favor. Just don't give away your house.

 

[sub dermal]

don't lend what you can't bear to lose.

and yea, it's better to assert proptection over our property/time by saying "no" sometimes. that's just healthy boundaries. between giving and/or pleasing others, and being responsible for ourselves.

manage expectations.

.sd

 

[ThePizzaMan]

This is a great thread btw. Im not rich, nor have much capital worth...however I always try and help people in need...or go the extra mile when I find a dog walking the street...I always try and bring it back..or at least alert the owner to its location.

I guess part of growing up is also realizing that other people may not be as giving, generous, or appreciative of the things you do for them. The real gift of giving is the feeling it gives you inside..that really nothing else can even come close to completing you as human being.

My mother told me that don't lend or give anything out that you are not prepared to not get back. Also, when you do a favor...do not expect a favor in return. This way, you won't be so let down when the other person fucks you out of something..or doesn't reciprocate. Because most of the time...they will not.

And like some people are saying in this thread, it really is a small price to pay to get rid of somebody before they cost you even more. So that $100, or that tool that you never got back...

Was just an investment in the quality of your social circle.

TPM