People with no money.....

[bagend12]

Ok...Just curious how other people feel when it comes to friends/acquantences who either have less money than you do, or are unwilling to spend their own cash because they think you are loaded or otherwise have more money than they do.

I'm not rich by any stretch of the imagination, I get by, am able to pay my bills, and every once in awhile can splurge on a new toy but not too often. By and large though I try to be frugal, especially in todays economy and job market.

I know a few people who range from being friends to just mere acquaintances who make much less than I do. Seems like every time I hang with one of these people I get stuck spotting them for drinks, food or gas because they have no money (or say they don't have it anyway)..I figured that one person in particular is in the hole to me for over $100.00 over a 6 month period. It never gets paid back, and when I in turn ask for a favor (i.e. a rides to pick up my car when it is in the shop), I get excuses as to why they can't do it (worst case was the guy who owes me over $100.00 asking ME for gas money when I needed to pick up my car).

I don't mind helping someone out who is in genuine need once in awhile, but when it becomes a frequent occurrence and every interaction with a person consists of them asking for money in one way or or another I gotta draw the line.

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

Try the 3-step shuffle...

step 1 - Don't spot acquaintances. If you have to adjust your itinerary to stay away from these sponges then do it.

step 2 - If your friends don't pay you back, consider them acquaintances and refer to step one.

step 3 - Forget about people in need for a while. Your image is in need. For the foreseeable future it needs to look and sound like "no".

 

[lucky_luke]

It is quite tough topic - everyone will look at it in different way. Personally, I am quite picky when it comes to choosing people to being frients. Everyone new I met gets clean card, and after making some things (or finding character quality) that I do not like - simply receives (in my head) yellow, and somtimes red card (and then totally forget about relationship with that person).
It might seem strange, but I found out that I like to have more quality people in my 'realife social network' than far more people in which some are iritating me from whatever reason. That way I can spend more time with those valuable ones.

 

[Spicoli]

I use to know people like this, key work USE TO. People like that are what I like to call "moochies". There the same ones that will smoke all YOUR weed with you, then when they get a bag they pack you a 1 hit and that its.

The sooner you get rid of these types of people the better off you will be in my opinion

 

[BigDawg]

well you act like you make much more than your friends so i would be good to them if they are real friends.. but not the types you describe. Better off buying homeless people some food instead.

 

[bagend12]

well you act like you make much more than your friends so i would be good to them if they are real friends.. but not the types you describe. Better off buying homeless people some food instead.

I don't mind helping out or being kind to someone who is a real friend (someone trustworthy, reliable, etc). I also don't mind helping someone out who can pay me back in some other way (helping out around the house, etc)...

But to be honest these other types really frustrate me...these are the ones I referenced in my OP, the people who have an "expectation" of some sort or another and make it a recurring habit...Its the guy who asks to borrow ten bucks here, ten bucks there, spot me for drinks, need 5 bucks for gas...etc..and never shows any appreciation for it.

It is a touchy subject....There are lots of people out of work these days, lots of people with no money. Who knows I might end up being one of them some day soon, but if that happens I certainly won't seek freebies from those that are better off than me, and if I am put into a position where someone helps me out some way financially I sure as hell will show my appreciation in any way I can.

 

[BigDawg]

sounds like they may be buying crack rocks with your money at times

 

[longearedfriend]

it's time my friend...

 

[jburns]

we call them scrubs.

what works for me in my limited casual encounters with scrubs, is upon meeting up begin asking them for stuff. ie

1. whats up boys, whos got some smokes.

2. anytime they are about to ask for anything cut them off and ask if you can borrow 20 bucks or a dollar for a whopper jr.

this will help you treat your scrub problem, and still be friends. if they do catch you off guard and ask for something, have a reply like i want what your smoking.

if all else fails laugh right in their face loudly. but be prepared to engage in a fight as this may set certain scrubs off.

your welcome.

 

[VerdantGreen]

there is a difference between a gift and a loan and if in your own head you regard it as a loan, then dont offer it as a gift. do these people know you are counting up all this money and regarding them as owing you?

ive been in positions when ive had less than my friends and theyve been generous, ive also had times when it's the other way around and ive been happy to give back - this cycle can take years to complete though and usually only works with 'real' friends

on the other hand, some folks can indeed take the p1ss and are best phased out.

VG

 

[Useful Idiot]

Well,it seems to me like you already know what needs to be done.You are asking for us to give you some insight. I will tell you I little story about my own son. Some time ago he was working,living here at home,saving some money and decided he wanted to move out. Sooooo he got an apt,we bougt him lots of stuff for the apt, you know, dishes,pots,pans a sofa, a bunch of shit that he needed. Few moths go by all is well. Then I get the call....dad I'm short on my rent,can u help? OK i'll help ya. Few weeks later .....Dad my truck needs some brake work to pass inspection...can you help??? UUMMM ok come out this weekend and we will do the breaks together,I ended up buying the parts.Now after that and MANY other incidents of him being low on funds,me and the wife were thinking,damn,this is costing us way more to support him than when he was at home.One day we went to his apt. and I found out what the problem was,it seems that nowadays the younger ones think that take out,ie,pizza, chinese, burger king ect. is the only thing they can eat. Also he bought a PS 3,and a 42" lcd tv. So I told him that I understand him wanting to have fun and live the good life so to speak,BUT you need to get a second job if you want it to happen. I felt as if I ,in some way hurt him by helping so much. So we cut him off,yep, our own son found out the hard way that you gotta work for what ya want. He was mad at first for a couple weeks, but then he realized what we were telling him. He did get a second job and now sometimes when he comes to visit he will bring something for us to enjoy, a cake from the bakery, some burgers and dogs for the grill ect. Sorry for the long read,but if we kept handing out, he would not be doing as well as he is now. You know what you need to do bud.

 

[mtbazz]

The sooner you get these leeches out of your life the better off you will be.

A real friend would not impose on you often enough for you to tally things up, and if they did they would pay you back...

Im pretty much of a tightwad with my money, I work extremely hard for it as do most people and have a low tolerance for people who make it a habit of leeching off of me. If it is someone I know well, and know they will either pay me back or return the favor at some point I will help out, but it is very rare as most people I know will not return the favor.

Bottom line is that everyone has their own sets of financial issues, some people are genuinely better off than others but at the end of the day we all have our own bills to take care of, and people shouldn't make a habit of leeching off of others because they think that person is better off financially than they are.

I could give plenty of examples of this type of behavior, my rules for "spotting" are generally as follows:

First time I usually write it off...Everyone is short of cash once in awhile. If they pay me back quickly, they get a green light, especially if they put effort into it. If they don't pay me back at all the warning signal goes up.

If the same person asks me to "spot" him more than once, and they have previously borrowed and not paid me back or were short, I say no and take steps to exclude that person from my life.

If your in that much financial trouble that you are continually borrowing small sums of money from people and not paying them back, than you either need to stay home more often, work more often, or start growing more weed...

 

[MIway]

I don't mind helping out or being kind to someone who is a real friend (someone trustworthy, reliable, etc). I also don't mind helping someone out who can pay me back in some other way (helping out around the house, etc)...

But to be honest these other types really frustrate me...these are the ones I referenced in my OP, the people who have an "expectation" of some sort or another and make it a recurring habit...Its the guy who asks to borrow ten bucks here, ten bucks there, spot me for drinks, need 5 bucks for gas...etc..and never shows any appreciation for it.

It is a touchy subject....There are lots of people out of work these days, lots of people with no money. Who knows I might end up being one of them some day soon, but if that happens I certainly won't seek freebies from those that are better off than me, and if I am put into a position where someone helps me out some way financially I sure as hell will show my appreciation in any way I can.

yup... even if it's small time, the sense of expectation is what really bothers me... highly selfish behavior.

i'm at work the other day, bro of mine comes in to shoot the shit & smoke me out. usually at work i get peeps high & am very open w it fig'n it's cool that i can bring em an up every now & then considering that they aren't getting much w their current weed. my boy & i take to the back to smoke on his crop w/o inviting them, they come in like 2 hits into the thing telling me their mooch mentality... 'we were like where's ***? he must b in back... we were like, hurry the fuck up, let's go!' i always invite them to smoke & this was clearly different... they just came in, sat down, extending arm to take in the rotation.

totally pissed me the fuck off... and not like it was that big of a deal, a joint... but that they totally imposed themselves on us... or rather, onto my buddies dope, which is dope, no doubt! good for them i guess ;-) totally pissed me off w the lack of consideration... they just assumed it was mine to include them on... didn't even ask, 'hey, mind if we get in on the kill?' nope, nothing... shit, i don't even know if they said thank you to tell the truth...? i was so pissed, kinda went w the conversation but can't even recall the specifics, just fuming silently in my head. lmfao... dunno why it gets to me so... in my head, goin over tellin em what's up... funny, funny. what do they say, nice guys finish last... or no good deed goes unpunished... ;-)

 

[WelderDan]

Hmmmm, there's this word I use when people want to play but can't afford to pay. What was it? Oh yeah, it's "NO".

I have some broke ass friends, and while I'm usually pretty generous with my weed, when it comes to money or other stuff, "NO" gets pulled out pretty regular. Give a mooch an inch and he'll try to take the whole damn ruler.

 

[guest456mpy]

My brother in law called recently saying he had enough money but none to party with. I told him that sometimes that's just what people need...

 

[Islandbud]

Avoid confrontation and disappointment by using just one word NO.