Sarcasm Thread

[kmk420kali]

I am stealing this straight from Steven Colbert--
Just start talking about something, or commenting on another persons post, and switch it all up, saying opposite of what you actually believe, using sarcasm and innuendo--
The idea here, is to make it funny...so please ppl...don't use the sarcasm in a hateful way towards other Members, or this Thread won't last long--

I'll start it out with telling you all how much respect I have for the Pot Dr's here in Cali, who (for a small extra charge)...will give you a special "Growers License"...keeping in mind that there is no mention of that in California Law...that doesn't keep these Angels sent from God from looking out for our best interest by doing their best, even by covering our ass in totally unnecessary circumstances...just to be sure!!
Such giving and selfless individuals!! All Hail the Hypocritical Oath!!

 

[h^2 O]

I really cant say enough about how great it is to be unemployed, i mean really, what more could you want? I'm looking forward to when I'm so broke I have to steal rolls of toilet paper from public restrooms

 

[Laventille]

I haven't got time for anyone who thinks Stephen Colbert is funny.
Jay Leno on the other hand...

 

[trouble]

Women may be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake an entire relationship.

 

[nvthis]

Blah blah blah, blah blah blah, one nation, under god, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

I thought I was being real cute one day when I said it was our leadership that had become disillusioned. Then I realised it was only me. What was I thinking???

 

[cocktail frank]

This whole thread sounds totally interesting.
i can't wait to read nothing but this work of art everytime i log onto icmag.
i'll be sure to mention to (insert holy being here) tonight while i pray to keep this here forever.

i feel like i would have been a little dumber if i missed this, so insightful

 

[rootfingers]

Sarcasm thread?

Sure, great idea.

 

[Ganja D]

When people act sarcastic to me in real life I don't want to punch them in the face,and I never actually do it.

 

[Stoner4Life]

I got no idea what yer yackin' about Ganja.......

 

[rootfingers]

When people act sarcastic to me in real life I don't want to punch them in the face,and I never actually do it.

Sounds like you have nothing in common with cocktail franks avatar.

 

[thefatman]

Blah blah blah, blah blah blah, one nation, under god, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

I thought I was being real cute one day when I said it was our leadership that had become disillusioned. Then I realised it was only me. What was I thinking???

Now that is funny. Ironic but still funny. But why does it almost make me want to cry. Oh yeah, because I have a drug felony for which I did a 5 year sentence for a simple manufacturing bust.

Yearly, according to the Department of Justice, Alaska arrests around 1,500 people for marijuana-related offenses. The DEA estimates that close to 26,000 pounds of marijuana are grown yearly in Alaska, which have a street value of between $128-$205 million dollars.

From a sate population list:
1. California - 36,457,549
2. Texas - 23,507,783
3. New York - 19,306,183
4. Florida - 18,089,888
5. Illinois - 12,831,970
6. Pennsylvania - 12,440,621
.
.
.
47. Alaska - 670,053
48. North Dakota - 635,867
49. Vermont - 623,908
50. Wyoming - 515,004

Just how many tons are grown in California when the population is roughly 54.4 times larger. By simple using the estimates of how much is grown in Alaska based upon population the DEA would likely claim there is over 6.9 to 10.1 Billion dollars worth of mj grown in California per year.

Medical Marijuana Users

Alaskans voted in medical marijuana laws in 1998. If a patient suffering from chronic pain, HIV or AIDS, epilepsy and other disorders characterized by seizures, cancer, cachexia, MS, and other disorders characterized by muscle spasms or nausea receives documentation from a physician that they ‘might benefit from the medical use of marijuana, than that patient or their primary caregiver may legally posses and cultivate marijuana. By law, they may possess 1 oz or less and cultivate 6 plants or less, with no more than three being mature. All qualifying patients are put into a confidential state-run registry and are issued identification cards. In addition, medical users are exempt from the laws governing being within 500 feet or less of a school or recreational center if their home falls within that radius.

What medical mj growers is going to only grow 6 plants at a time and only harvest enough at a time to possess no more then one ounce at a time. I know many medical mj users who smoke at least one ounce per week. Each certified medical mj user can only have one permitted mj grower at a time.

Non-Medical Users:

Non-medical users can currently use small amounts of marijuana in their homes for personal use, although this decriminalization is currently being challenged by the state in court. It is still illegal for non-medical users to sell or cultivate marijuana.


Felons can not legally grow medical mj for any one but themselves. Now what grower is plant very backward laws considering Alaska was the first state to decriminalize mj smoking and growing mj in a state citizens own home. The law changed from 4 ounces and 24 plants to no legal growing in a state citizens own home thanks to Sarah Palin.


Cultivation:
Creating and maintaining any type of grow house for housing and distributing marijuana
Felony
Penalties include up to five years in jail and a $50,000 fine

Yeah Alaska mj laws. Yeah Sarah Palin. Thank you Alaska for showing me the wrong of my ways. Now that is sarcasm.

 

[h^2 O]

I love my ex

 

[ShroomDr]

The only reason 'We the People' are the three biggest words on the US constitution is because they were gonna run out of paper if they stayed with that font.

 

[trouble]

"The meek shall inherit the earth, but not the mineral rights"

 

[trouble]

"Marriage is the #1 cause of divorce"

 

[trouble]

"I feel so miserable without you here, it's almost like having you here"

 

[ShroomDr]

I have lots of respect for the cop who wrote me a parking ticket @ 2:15am on Sat. Seeing that the sticker on my license plate was the same as the current month; forcing them to take time and look up the driver to see if my birthday had passed.

Looking at parked car stickers takes priority over looking for drunk drivers, after all, youd never catch any of them @ 2:15am on a Sat.

 

[pineolene]

great thread...

I love you all so much, especially the winners who have nothing better to do than troll me.

 

[WelderDan]

My job... Is physically demanding and can be dangerous, but the low pay more than makes up for it.

 

[OjoRojo420]

Sarcasm... sounds familiar...

Isn't it the obligatory side dish every time the family has a meal together?

Ojo