Back in my old market garden days I had a small field along the creek. The field was hidden by trees and away from the road a good 1/4 mile.
I always appreciated its serenity and the fact that I couldnt see any power lines, buildings, roads or signs of people.
I remember driving back into my garden one day and being startled to see a scruffy looking guy walking up the lane from my pumpkin patch. I pulled up beside him and asked what he was doing. He seemed very nervous when he started to explain that he had gotten stuck after pulling in and trying to turn around.
I knew that explanation was a bit odd. I had a good turn around and he shouldn't have gotten stuck. I told the guy I'd have to go get a chain (I hadn't even seen his vehicle yet, I just wanted some reinforcement) I drove off and over to my next door neighbor and good friend's place. I explained what was up and we grabbed his tractor and took off for the pumpkin patch.
Once there I couldn't believe that this idiot had driven his beat up Ford Ranger into my pumpkin patch where he'd gotten stuck in the loose ground. While I was talking to the guy my buddy had been looking in the topper windows. My buddy hollered that we were going to need more chain and he motioned for me to hop on the tractor. I KNEW something was wrong by my buddies expression. We jumped on the tractor and he cranked it up. As soon as we were out of ear shot my buddy said "Shit! There is a body in the back of the truck!
We raced up to the house. My friend watched the road while I called the police. I'll never forget what I said: "There's a guy with a body in his truck and he's stuck in my field. Send the police, send lots of police.
Lots of police showed up. Some started questioning the guy while the others looked in the truck. All of a sudden there was a lot of laughing. One of the cops had put on those blue rubber gloves and had and pulled out an inflatable love doll from the topper. A love doll with a big wide open "purdy mouth."
The best thing was when one of the cops pulled out a tube from the glove compartment. It looked like a cigar tube. We all expected contraband of some sort - until the cop unscrewed the cap and two AA batteries fell out. Holy crap, it was some sort of vibrating butt plug.
A stinking pervert in my pumpkin patch. My secluded spot never again seemed so pristine..
I always appreciated its serenity and the fact that I couldnt see any power lines, buildings, roads or signs of people.
I remember driving back into my garden one day and being startled to see a scruffy looking guy walking up the lane from my pumpkin patch. I pulled up beside him and asked what he was doing. He seemed very nervous when he started to explain that he had gotten stuck after pulling in and trying to turn around.
I knew that explanation was a bit odd. I had a good turn around and he shouldn't have gotten stuck. I told the guy I'd have to go get a chain (I hadn't even seen his vehicle yet, I just wanted some reinforcement) I drove off and over to my next door neighbor and good friend's place. I explained what was up and we grabbed his tractor and took off for the pumpkin patch.
Once there I couldn't believe that this idiot had driven his beat up Ford Ranger into my pumpkin patch where he'd gotten stuck in the loose ground. While I was talking to the guy my buddy had been looking in the topper windows. My buddy hollered that we were going to need more chain and he motioned for me to hop on the tractor. I KNEW something was wrong by my buddies expression. We jumped on the tractor and he cranked it up. As soon as we were out of ear shot my buddy said "Shit! There is a body in the back of the truck!
We raced up to the house. My friend watched the road while I called the police. I'll never forget what I said: "There's a guy with a body in his truck and he's stuck in my field. Send the police, send lots of police.
Lots of police showed up. Some started questioning the guy while the others looked in the truck. All of a sudden there was a lot of laughing. One of the cops had put on those blue rubber gloves and had and pulled out an inflatable love doll from the topper. A love doll with a big wide open "purdy mouth."
The best thing was when one of the cops pulled out a tube from the glove compartment. It looked like a cigar tube. We all expected contraband of some sort - until the cop unscrewed the cap and two AA batteries fell out. Holy crap, it was some sort of vibrating butt plug.
A stinking pervert in my pumpkin patch. My secluded spot never again seemed so pristine..
