First thing first, you got to figure out what you really want and what your willing to do to get it.
It is you that controls your own destiny, no one else. If you want a job in the industry, you should get a resume and proactively send it in to one of the hundreds and hundreds of businesses in your state. You can't apply to one job on craigslist and act like you actually looked for a job man. Not only nutrient companies, but hydro stores themselves, or what about all the mmj centers??? Start networking, try to get in on a collective , a spense, a grow, whatever.....
Jsut wanna grow?? Are you single? Get a restaurant job on nights and weekends to meet girls and make extra money until you start your grow. If your not the social type try to get a manufacturing job at nights or graveyard,it just takes one bottle of fake piss.....( you might even get health insurance ) ( just get two easy jobs izza driver, telemarketing, retail, gas station, grocery store, even......)
I've lived in places where having two jobs was a way of life for 85% of the locals. You had to do it to survive, super expensive and wages the same as middle america... When you have no choice, you just do it. I think when you get a little more focused on what you want you can do the same and get past the "mental roadblocks" your going through now. You absolutely CAN have anything you want in life if your WILLING to make the sacrifice ( which is sometimes life itself or every moment of it).
Good Luck. Smile, things could be worse for all of us friend.
