EDIT: Damn, just saw how long this was lol. Whatever, I had to vent, and anyone interested in reading it and responding I'm open to all suggestions, input, invitations, insults etc.
This is my first time starting a new thread about something personal so we'll see how it goes. I'm doing it because realistically (sorta sad) the people on this forum are really the only ones who can truly relate to my situation.
I'm not looking for a solution, and honestly I don't think anyone could really provide one for me but at least I can vent a bit and see if anyone else has ever been in my boat.
About half a year ago, my best friend and grow partner of 2+ years out of absolutely nowhere compromised the project, stole $15k, and caused me to have to make the awful decision to tear down my grow, all because of a girl he fell in love with who lived across the country. I'm not going to go into details because there is really no point (I think I described it in more detail way back after it happened, in a 'partners are generally a bad idea' thread).
I still have the pics from that round in my sig. I haven't been able to get myself to delete it yet. Almost everything was in full bloom, across 8k in flower, with a full veg room of 1k.
Anyway, I sit here 6 months later and I still don't know what the fuck I'm going to do with my life. Yes like many others I have a quarter million dollar college degree, in Film/TV of all things (yes from a very good school, but yes, also completely pointless and I wish I was smart and went to Law/Business school). I'm lucky enough to be in a situation where I'm living with a family member in his home, so I don't have to get a job at Walmart in the mean time, but I still wake up every day with this feeling of emptiness knowing that I have nothing to go take care of.
What I loved about growing is every day I had so much to do, and what I did had a direct impact on how well I did. Everything was goal oriented.
What sucks is (and trust me, I have very little self esteem so I'm not trying to show off) I really am a smart guy. I have a hell of a resume and have worked for very wealthy people in the past who depended on me to make really important decisions. I'm business smart as well, but none of that shit matters when your sitting at home with no job.
At first I falsely tried to convince myself that I could get contract jobs, helping people consult on grows, sort of a GC for growers, but of course given the security involved in our industry, that just didn't work out, even in SoCal. I had two jobs but in the end it wasn't even worth the money because I didn't charge nearly enough.
Next I figured I'd try to get into the more legit aspects. I somehow landed a interview with General Hydroponics who posted an ad on craigslist of all places. I met a manager for lunch in LA who was looking for a person to rep SoCal and basically cover customer service and do lots of store visits. Sounded great to me as a starting point, but he had lots of people to interview and I didn't get a call back (even though we talked candidly about what I did, and even flashed him a little pic or 2 of what I've done). Would of been nice. They were offering around $50k, mileage reimbursement, health ins, a computer, and other perks.
Many people have asked "well why don't you just start up again?" Multiple answers to this. Besides the fact that the market price is going wayy down (and continues to) there are all the logistical reasons. I had to take out a BIG loan from an investor for that last grow, and I wasn't even done paying it off when I had to tear it down. So I had to borrow from the relative I'm living with to pay it back. I live in a nice house that I found for him (renting) and even though there are 2 spare rooms (one being my room that is empty because I refuse to let him buy me furniture for it, the other a guest room) growing here just isn't an option. For one its a rental and the particular management company are nazis. First time in my life I've ever seen someone spend literally 2 hours taking a picture of every inch of the house before we moved in.
Also the main panel is 1) outdated 2) would need to be upgraded to a 200amp 3) is mad far from the spare rooms. In addition, I could never risk my relative going through the stress of a bust. He is older, and a completely normal, nice, law abiding person, and the only relative who knows about what happened to me.
So the prospect of trying to find another investor, starting up when the market is bad, getting another house that I wouldn't be living in, etc, just doesn't seem like the smart move for me.
Anyway, I'm just curious if anyone went from a medium sized grow as their sole income, to nothing, and what the fuck you did from there.
This is my first time starting a new thread about something personal so we'll see how it goes. I'm doing it because realistically (sorta sad) the people on this forum are really the only ones who can truly relate to my situation.
I'm not looking for a solution, and honestly I don't think anyone could really provide one for me but at least I can vent a bit and see if anyone else has ever been in my boat.
About half a year ago, my best friend and grow partner of 2+ years out of absolutely nowhere compromised the project, stole $15k, and caused me to have to make the awful decision to tear down my grow, all because of a girl he fell in love with who lived across the country. I'm not going to go into details because there is really no point (I think I described it in more detail way back after it happened, in a 'partners are generally a bad idea' thread).
I still have the pics from that round in my sig. I haven't been able to get myself to delete it yet. Almost everything was in full bloom, across 8k in flower, with a full veg room of 1k.
Anyway, I sit here 6 months later and I still don't know what the fuck I'm going to do with my life. Yes like many others I have a quarter million dollar college degree, in Film/TV of all things (yes from a very good school, but yes, also completely pointless and I wish I was smart and went to Law/Business school). I'm lucky enough to be in a situation where I'm living with a family member in his home, so I don't have to get a job at Walmart in the mean time, but I still wake up every day with this feeling of emptiness knowing that I have nothing to go take care of.
What I loved about growing is every day I had so much to do, and what I did had a direct impact on how well I did. Everything was goal oriented.
What sucks is (and trust me, I have very little self esteem so I'm not trying to show off) I really am a smart guy. I have a hell of a resume and have worked for very wealthy people in the past who depended on me to make really important decisions. I'm business smart as well, but none of that shit matters when your sitting at home with no job.
At first I falsely tried to convince myself that I could get contract jobs, helping people consult on grows, sort of a GC for growers, but of course given the security involved in our industry, that just didn't work out, even in SoCal. I had two jobs but in the end it wasn't even worth the money because I didn't charge nearly enough.
Next I figured I'd try to get into the more legit aspects. I somehow landed a interview with General Hydroponics who posted an ad on craigslist of all places. I met a manager for lunch in LA who was looking for a person to rep SoCal and basically cover customer service and do lots of store visits. Sounded great to me as a starting point, but he had lots of people to interview and I didn't get a call back (even though we talked candidly about what I did, and even flashed him a little pic or 2 of what I've done). Would of been nice. They were offering around $50k, mileage reimbursement, health ins, a computer, and other perks.
Many people have asked "well why don't you just start up again?" Multiple answers to this. Besides the fact that the market price is going wayy down (and continues to) there are all the logistical reasons. I had to take out a BIG loan from an investor for that last grow, and I wasn't even done paying it off when I had to tear it down. So I had to borrow from the relative I'm living with to pay it back. I live in a nice house that I found for him (renting) and even though there are 2 spare rooms (one being my room that is empty because I refuse to let him buy me furniture for it, the other a guest room) growing here just isn't an option. For one its a rental and the particular management company are nazis. First time in my life I've ever seen someone spend literally 2 hours taking a picture of every inch of the house before we moved in.
Also the main panel is 1) outdated 2) would need to be upgraded to a 200amp 3) is mad far from the spare rooms. In addition, I could never risk my relative going through the stress of a bust. He is older, and a completely normal, nice, law abiding person, and the only relative who knows about what happened to me.
So the prospect of trying to find another investor, starting up when the market is bad, getting another house that I wouldn't be living in, etc, just doesn't seem like the smart move for me.
Anyway, I'm just curious if anyone went from a medium sized grow as their sole income, to nothing, and what the fuck you did from there.
