broke but deciding to have kids

[H^2o2]

i got a ridiculously gorgeous worker at my university pregnant during sophomore year and she didn't tell me about it until three months after I graduated. And then we had a huge blowup with misunderstandings and drinking on my half, long story short - only got to meet my daughter twice - on the trolley with the girls grandparents. And that happened about a month before she screamed at me "and you'll never get to meet your daughter!" as I was walking out of a pub after she tried saying hello from across the room and making up for 20 mins and I ignored her. Then I did some mean shit on the internet and now i can't go near her for a year. Yeah. We hurt each other so much. My daughter is like 3 and I've only seen her for 5 mins from across the isle on a bus! She's so pretty! And I'm not just saying that. Her mom is a 9 dude. 10 maybe. She basically used me as a stud and won't let me see our little girl. Pretty sure I did the same with her sister - think I might have twins with her. We were all having lots of sex. Two sisters man, rock on. But not being able to see those kids and feeling like I was just flat out used for a pregnancy/baby(s) is so crushing. Me and the one sister loved each other deeply. But then my whole drinking thing.

I'm sober now, have been since August. I smoke though of course. But still haven't met my kids.

 

[SacredTHCRitual]

Im a young man, I don't wants kids now because there is still so much I want to do before that. But if I was going to have kids, I would like to have something I feel stable with. that doesn't have to mean a lot of money, I just want to know that if I work hard I will be able to provide and also be able to spend as much quality time with my kin.

maybe its all the chaos and stresses in the world that are making people have kids young again. its like its the new thing..I respect my friends choices as long as he diligently thought it out and made that decision. This is your road show, live it how you want to...

its a trip and a half seeing a little miniature you. I'm sure the brain chemistry changes a bunch after you have kids.

 

[Bobby Stainless]

this is a hard thought to sit on
I'm not personally doing this but...

what are your thoughts about being broke but deciding to have kids??


what gives?

some of my close friends are young dumb broke and actually planning on having kids while in this state of insecurity not someday, not by accident but now...

personally opinions? experiences?? suggestions???

Irresponsible.

Kids are not pets.

 

[187020]

i don't use condoms. it doesn't feel good enough.

 

[SacredTHCRitual]

i don't use condoms. it doesn't feel good enough.

i have to 2nd that

dangerous habit

just make sure that you trust your woman

 

[crazybear]

When did being poor turn a person into
some form of welfare lowlife who should not
procreate?What a sad example of the
material society we live in these days.
I always taught my kids to value a persons character
and not the thickness of their wallet.

I grew up on a dirt scratch farm where we raised
a garden and animals to be able to eat well.
Both parents worked and we had very few $$ left after
bills were paid.Extra money came from picking blackberries,
walnuts,hauling hay for neighbors,etc..
No sports because there was no
time or money for extra trips to town for practices,games.
Chores before and after school,weekends too with no allowance.

Jeez,my parents should have never had kids,right?

Big difference between broke & poor, your parents worked hard & were poor! Broke ass people are different!

 

[Sandnut]

If you can't tell that you shouldn't have kids if your economy isn't good & stable you should take that as a big No, No

why so much hurry?

take it easy.... time will come, you will KNOW when it's right
not when you get a majority of YES votes on an MJ forum

 

[MJBadger]

Im a young man, I don't wants kids now because there is still so much I want to do before that. But if I was going to have kids, I would like to have something I feel stable with. that doesn't have to mean a lot of money, I just want to know that if I work hard I will be able to provide and also be able to spend as much quality time with my kin.

This make an awful lot of sense , a far cry from your opening lines of Broke but deciding to have kids .
No matter how anybody looks at it you can`t give children a decent life unless you can afford them .
It`s bull saying that love is all they need . Love don`t buy clothes or shoes or pay rent , it won`t feed the family coz love don`t put food on the table only hard work or dollars will do that . Then you need health care etc etc

 

[Oliver Pantsoff]

Being broke and having kids would be a very stupid decision, and also very selfsih

OP

 

[hazy]

Reading a lot of these posts, I see the concept of eugenics is alive and well.

 

[whodare]

Irresponsible.

Kids are not pets.

lol i feel like thats how it is with some people..

i think of it like this, children are to perpetuate your seed. i want the most stable, safe, loving, educational, environment regardless of financial standing...

you can provide all the physical needs to keep a baby healthy and still be a bad parent...

financial stability is also more important than how much, if you know you have income and will have it you can figure out what you can afford...

 

[dagnabit]

Reading a lot of these posts, I see the concept of eugenics is alive and well.

maybe you should look up the words you use?
who here posted that anyone is to genetically inferior to breed?
we suggested (rightly so) no one should breed with the plan to be on welfare....
if we said "those people display unwanted genetic traits and should be disallowed from breeding" that would be eugenics...

this is just common sense. if we did believe in eugenics we would say anyone who was moronic enough to believe we were in favor of eugenics based on this conversation should be sterilized.

 

[Stoner4Life]

going by the OP it's stated that they're young, dumb & broke and whereas I'd never be so bold as to deny anyone the right to breed I've got to agree with the overall flavor of many of the deniers to be somewhat correct to one degree or another.

not too far to the left; not to far to the right, the solutions lie somewhere in between.......

 

[Chunkybuddha]

So, we can look at India's state to answer your question.

Due to overpopulation, the education system failed horrifically and because of lack of education, population increased ten-fold. A vicious cycle to say the least. Evidence: it's a proven fact that educated women have less children, especially in India.

That concept can be applied to any country, in loose terms. I think we can all agree that parents become good parents if they deal with their responsibilities. If a parent can't even deal with the financial responsibility right from the start, I believe this will ultimately be a mistake for the child, the parents, and society.

Child: because they will not have a fair upbringing. While many basic needs can be met (sometimes) on poverty level, a happy life is far from the question. Also, education will be much more difficult as the current state of public schools is very poor. In other words, no such thing as private schools. Although, I do believe in public schools, I don't think at the current state, they are the correct choice.

Parents: In layman's terms, life will be very shitty if you already are poor, and now you have to provide for a child. Finance will be a thing of the past, as living day to day will now become priority. Forget 'extras'. No such thing as vacation. Don't even dream about progressing, just stay afloat. While that is what life is for many, that is not the optimal choice, obviously.

Society: while one individual case doesn't affect society much, numerous cases can, and do. Poverty stricken families, due to lack of education, parent-planning, etc, has been a huge increase in developed countries in the past 20 years. If we look at a handful of these typical cases in one area, the devastation is quite clear. 20 poverty stricken families in an area of 50 families will cause a negative affect on that area. The kids will not have a proper upbringing, most will lack supervision due to overworking parents, and crime will increase. Thus consuming that one area. Multiply, and disaster is immanent.

TL;DR Terrible idea to have children if you can't even support them financially. The added stress will domino and set the family up for failure, in typical viewpoint.

 

[medmaker420]

I agree that it is bullshit that so many people are living off of the state and fed HOWEVER we put that system in place and PAY FOR IT.

I say use up all the damn money possible and tank our current system and get it back to how it was supposed to be.

Money should NOT be given to others from the pockets of others plain and simple.

Now onto the people trashing poor folks and welfare babies, if you don't like the situation STOP PAYING INTO THE SYSTEM and see how you get treated then lol. I think once a person has a baby especially the first one you tend to do ANYTHING to make sure that kid is taken care of whether your ass is poor or not.

Its a personal decision but I agree there is way to many "lookin for a handout" going around these days. Its easier to get free aide to work or grow your own for some people I guess.

Don't like welfare and free aide, stop paying taxes and you won't help them with that bullshit system.

 

[SacredTHCRitual]

I agree that it is bullshit that so many people are living off of the state and fed HOWEVER we put that system in place and PAY FOR IT.

I say use up all the damn money possible and tank our current system and get it back to how it was supposed to be.

Money should NOT be given to others from the pockets of others plain and simple.

Now onto the people trashing poor folks and welfare babies, if you don't like the situation STOP PAYING INTO THE SYSTEM and see how you get treated then lol. I think once a person has a baby especially the first one you tend to do ANYTHING to make sure that kid is taken care of whether your ass is poor or not.

Its a personal decision but I agree there is way to many "lookin for a handout" going around these days. Its easier to get free aide to work or grow your own for some people I guess.

Don't like welfare and free aide, stop paying taxes and you won't help them with that bullshit system.

I see your points and they are quite common to hear in arguments re welfare..the thing is that it has become almost a necessary evil...one would think that if we just stopped providing people with money whether through ssi, disability, unemployment, food/cash stamps ect ect... that those people would instantly become more productive because they have to...this isn't always the case, the cost has to be weighed...ive lived in poor neighborhoods where the majority of folk were on some kind of gov assistance...if these people didn't have that, what would they be doing?? unfortunately crime would increase..whether its as simple as selling dope or as bad a robbing houses of people that do have the money...society has played this game we call civilization for a long time..not say the system is perfect but its been hammered out to where at the end of the day the numbers work...it doesn't always seem like it when you are the one paying the taxes but someone has figured out that welfare costs would be far below increased crime and resulting all around loss

it works both ways but I think the way you are going to fix it will be to create incentives for these people to want to work...incentive is the key word..the incentives are not there for these people to go out and find a crappy job and go through all the BS that comes with it vs collecting their check...it sucks but its a really simple process..if better education and legit community opportunities(work) were available, less people would be working the system...

when the opportunities are limited to working in retail, food services or as a CustomerServiceRep shoe in a large company....the "f the system" attitude will continue...shitty but true


people are wild as it is...put them in desperate situations without money in the cold..hungry people do wild things...the $$$ in america has decided it will rather throw some money at the problem so they don't have to see it on their streets and in their faces as much. its still there and still real but not so in your face. people are hurting, they are hungry and poor but that 200$ a month keeps them out of breaking into my house, or your house.. and thats the thinking of our law makers and communities.


not all people on gov assistance are criminals obviously...but put the same people into a rock and hard place(take their money away) and society by nature makes them the criminal..

 

[longearedfriend]

why so much hurry?

some people want to make someone else a baby, so that they are somehow always there's (or in hopes that...)

sort of a possessive thing

 

[187020]

A condom is the last thing I'd wear