Having 4 kids myself with my wife before finishing college, I would recommend getting your career in order first. It's alot harder to advance yourself and get through school when you add kids to the mix. They should ask themselves why they need to have kids now. The only reasons to hurry are selfish ones.
broke but deciding to have kids
- Thread starter SacredTHCRitual
- Start date
we'll find out soon enough what these folks are made of when Mom wants to quit her job and stay home with the baby and expects Dad to get off his butt and "get a fkn job".
F
ForbiddenFruit
Not "everyone" should have kids, even some of our parents probably shouldn't of realistically had children. Now you can argue from a biological reproductive stand point, where people need to reproduce in order to maintain the human species and continue the process of life on this planet (overpopulation is a myth, we are actually depopulating at the moment). Obviously having children is important, or life doesn't continue, we wouldn't want cannabis plants to decide one day that it was time to stop reproducing and creating the next generation because then cannabis would no longer exist. Plants don't think about it they just do it, and it seems to be working out fairly well for them. When it comes to humans we need to acknowledge the importance of children (id love to have children) but at the same time involving some sort of thought process into it.
Having a child relies on much more than finances alone, resources are part of the equation, you need to provide adequate material to ensure the childs physical well being, but there is a few deeper aspects to the child raising process.
Think of your motives for having a child in the first place. You need to know yourself and have actualized all of your true potential as a person spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically and overcome the traumas of your own life before you can aid another being in becoming their true self. If you haven't already done the work on yourself, theres noway you can create another life, for you have not completed your own journey, its not time to start another. It isn't until you have mastered the world around you that you start the creation process. The child needs some really healthy guidance, often times parents inflict on their kids exactly what happened to them as children, they re-inact their own childhood and confuse and destroy someone who needed the highest level of respect. Parenting these days fucking sucks and its just repeating the cycle.
So all you really need to do is ask yourself if you are ready, look at your life up until this point with deep introspection and the answers should come flooding in. Its not so much about money but about a level of being, you have to be free of the bullshit or else you will infect your children and they are going to hate you. If you decide to have children get into therapy and read read read good sources about parenting.
Having a child relies on much more than finances alone, resources are part of the equation, you need to provide adequate material to ensure the childs physical well being, but there is a few deeper aspects to the child raising process.
Think of your motives for having a child in the first place. You need to know yourself and have actualized all of your true potential as a person spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically and overcome the traumas of your own life before you can aid another being in becoming their true self. If you haven't already done the work on yourself, theres noway you can create another life, for you have not completed your own journey, its not time to start another. It isn't until you have mastered the world around you that you start the creation process. The child needs some really healthy guidance, often times parents inflict on their kids exactly what happened to them as children, they re-inact their own childhood and confuse and destroy someone who needed the highest level of respect. Parenting these days fucking sucks and its just repeating the cycle.
So all you really need to do is ask yourself if you are ready, look at your life up until this point with deep introspection and the answers should come flooding in. Its not so much about money but about a level of being, you have to be free of the bullshit or else you will infect your children and they are going to hate you. If you decide to have children get into therapy and read read read good sources about parenting.
LIFEISGOOD
Member
Are your friends responsible?
Are your friends responsible?
Broke is such a relative term. Welfare is not. Can your friends stay within a budget, are they slobs, are they just in between jobs that are on a career path?
Let me say first, that I am a big fan of sterilization.
I think it is more important for the prospective parents to be in a place where they are ready to be selfless and give the kids their full attention. Versus having kids with a pocket full of cash and ignoring them due to work and self interests.
I grew up poor as shit, before my folks were able to pull a combined six figures in high school. We played in the woods, went to parks, camped, spent time in the library. We never went to the movies or had elaborate birthday parties. Some how, life was still great even if we were threadbare. The house was filled with love and that covered a lot. I know, you can't eat love.
I love it when folks try to plan on having kids. We tried for two years.
It all depends on your situation. Responsible people who have their shit together should try to have kids when they feel like it is time. Otherwise, don't. But waiting for the perfect world and perfect time scenario, well it will never happen.
Kids are cheapest for the first several years and really don't require that much cash, above a normal families expenses. However, its not fair to raise them in a car either. Programs are out there to help and I don't care if someone has to depend on them for a short time when they are down and out. But staying on the dole for longer than the minimum is also unacceptable.
Having family to lean on can reduce a huge amount of the costs of raising kids. We live in a semi rural area and the community has helped us extensively. We have yet to buy a single article of clothing for our two kids who are one and three. Relatives can also help with child care.
Your friends sound like they shouldn't have kids. But, they be down now, but who can tell me where they will be in 5 years? Or in five weeks?
Are your friends responsible?
Broke is such a relative term. Welfare is not. Can your friends stay within a budget, are they slobs, are they just in between jobs that are on a career path?
Let me say first, that I am a big fan of sterilization.
I think it is more important for the prospective parents to be in a place where they are ready to be selfless and give the kids their full attention. Versus having kids with a pocket full of cash and ignoring them due to work and self interests.
I grew up poor as shit, before my folks were able to pull a combined six figures in high school. We played in the woods, went to parks, camped, spent time in the library. We never went to the movies or had elaborate birthday parties. Some how, life was still great even if we were threadbare. The house was filled with love and that covered a lot. I know, you can't eat love.
I love it when folks try to plan on having kids. We tried for two years.
It all depends on your situation. Responsible people who have their shit together should try to have kids when they feel like it is time. Otherwise, don't. But waiting for the perfect world and perfect time scenario, well it will never happen.
Kids are cheapest for the first several years and really don't require that much cash, above a normal families expenses. However, its not fair to raise them in a car either. Programs are out there to help and I don't care if someone has to depend on them for a short time when they are down and out. But staying on the dole for longer than the minimum is also unacceptable.
Having family to lean on can reduce a huge amount of the costs of raising kids. We live in a semi rural area and the community has helped us extensively. We have yet to buy a single article of clothing for our two kids who are one and three. Relatives can also help with child care.
Your friends sound like they shouldn't have kids. But, they be down now, but who can tell me where they will be in 5 years? Or in five weeks?
mosstrooper
Member
Hahah, all this negativity towards two people who reportedly are poor, and are planning to have children, what about all the poor in the rest of the world, living off of united nations food handouts, should they not have kids either?
In fact, should it only be the middle classes that have children?
In fact, should it only be the middle classes that have children?
Here is from personal experience so take it for what it is
We had our first kid and then after that waited for the "right time" to have the second. Pretty soon over 5 years had passed and it NEVER SEEMED to be the right time financially or what have you.
If you want a kid have one, if you are a provider for that child THEN they will not go hungry or at least YOU WILL GO HUNGRY before they do.
Most who call themselves BROKE still have fuckin iphones and get latte's every fucking morning in their leased bmw's though lol.
I say if you want the kids have em, one thing though. they sure can be a pain in the ass sometimes LOL. gotta luv em
We had our first kid and then after that waited for the "right time" to have the second. Pretty soon over 5 years had passed and it NEVER SEEMED to be the right time financially or what have you.
If you want a kid have one, if you are a provider for that child THEN they will not go hungry or at least YOU WILL GO HUNGRY before they do.
Most who call themselves BROKE still have fuckin iphones and get latte's every fucking morning in their leased bmw's though lol.
I say if you want the kids have em, one thing though. they sure can be a pain in the ass sometimes LOL. gotta luv em
oooh great here come some more welfare reciepients sp?
When did smokers become such judgemental, negative pricks? Are your lives that unhappy that you have to think the worst of someone?
To the thread starter. You refer to these people as your friends? If that's the case, wish them well and be there for them. Like a friend. If they care for each other and want to make a go of it, wish them the best.
For those of you that think you need a 150,000 in the bank to start a family, you don't need to be having children. That's not what it's about. All your going to teach your children is money equals success and happiness. And that's not the way it is.
And for those of you that believe sterilization is a good thing and that Courts should give permission for people to have children, you missed your calling.
To the thread starter. You refer to these people as your friends? If that's the case, wish them well and be there for them. Like a friend. If they care for each other and want to make a go of it, wish them the best.
For those of you that think you need a 150,000 in the bank to start a family, you don't need to be having children. That's not what it's about. All your going to teach your children is money equals success and happiness. And that's not the way it is.
And for those of you that believe sterilization is a good thing and that Courts should give permission for people to have children, you missed your calling.
W
wiseone
Not trying to get to involved but,
My grandparents raised me. After my grandfather died when I was like 7 I never new how hard it was until years later.......my grandmother would eat mayonnaise/banana sandwiches when money was short to make sure me and my 2 cousins had proper food to eat, clothes to wear. To this day I still cringe at the sacrifices she made so I would have.
The thing though that we had plenty of in our house was LOVE
My grandparents raised me. After my grandfather died when I was like 7 I never new how hard it was until years later.......my grandmother would eat mayonnaise/banana sandwiches when money was short to make sure me and my 2 cousins had proper food to eat, clothes to wear. To this day I still cringe at the sacrifices she made so I would have.
The thing though that we had plenty of in our house was LOVE
SacredTHCRitual
Member
Unfortunately weed isn't the cure all for prick status.
I posted this thread cause I knew it was gonna get replies and I know everyone has their 2 cents on such an issue.
I do consider these people my friends, and we have talked about all of this before. They wana make a go at, I wish them the best and will be nothing but positive vibes for them.
I don't think I need 150g just to start a family but I would like to give my children the life that I didn't get to have.. I want the child to be aware of the struggle and understand that money is just a tool not the goal. but I want to be in an environment where we can all thrive and I just don't feel I can do that in the city with out that cash being saved for a little bit.
I don't think we should sterilize people or force abortions but the real question is..can the earth sustain everyone having kids?? probably not but see human beings unfortunately have not evolved enough to figure out how to keep that all going. The government shouldn't have that control but if they don't than it has to come down to the community and personal value systems to make the right choices...
'
that last part should be doubled bold because I feel you on that. We didn't grow up with a lot of money in our house, my grandma had to babysit cuz mom was single parent and worked more than full time
but the love was there and that is really important..I had friends that lived in the hills have always had money but they don't look at it the same way, they don't have that contrast that money can't buy...
LOVE > $$$
B
BrnCow
Get them to babysit a kid or two for an evening or better yet over night...they'll get an idea of what it is all about...
statusquo
Member
Friends are the only people in your life besides family that shouldn't be afraid to tell you when you are fucking up. If you are really friends you shouldn't take it personally and should be happy someone is there to give it to you straight up.
As for the 150,000 figure, I don't necessarily agree with that but I don't think that it means money = success. Raising a child is expensive and bad shit can happen...i.e. no more job. It's recommended that anyone, even without a kid, have a savings with 6 months worth of salary in case something bad happens. 150K is a big # but it's a safety net and responsible, not greedy. It doesn't mean that you need that much money but to just hope things will work themselves out and to take that gamble isn't fair to the child.
Additionally, to the people saying that some parents become more responsible and what not after having a child, well most don't. And again the gamble is not fair to the child and society. Raising a proper child requires responsibility and stability. Just because you came out 'ok' from a broken home doesn't mean it was right or that others should have to endure it too.
If you agree to be part of society (implicit contract) IMO that should be equivalent to relinquishing an absolute right to having children. In fact with the exponentially growing population and declining resources, I think there should be more strict criteria to qualify to have children. I don't have an objective standard to offer but intelligence and income/savings would be a factor for sure....
Do you have any kids?
statusquo
Member
No, I don't. My personal experience is merely indirect; it only extends to watching my parents raise my sister, my close cousin having a child and my friend having one.
Also, I wanted to clarify. Just because you tell your friend/family he/she is fucking up doesn't mean you can't support them. Something along the lines of telling them you disagree heavily with their decision and explain why but say out of duty (friendship/kinship) you will do all you can to support them. This means in every way possible including verbally - meaning not continually bringing back up your opposition. One time is enough.
basically most of the people having kids are stupid and shouldnt be having kids.
sorry. get your shit together before you start a family. dont raise a kid in poverty and a bad environment. thats unfair for the youngster.
if anything, I should be having a kid. i have a house, lots of income, good parental tactics. however i wont because i hate kids and im selfish and would rather have a nice truck or a boat than a kid lol. but its funny/sad how most of the people having kids can barely take care of themselves let alone their seed....
sorry. get your shit together before you start a family. dont raise a kid in poverty and a bad environment. thats unfair for the youngster.
if anything, I should be having a kid. i have a house, lots of income, good parental tactics. however i wont because i hate kids and im selfish and would rather have a nice truck or a boat than a kid lol. but its funny/sad how most of the people having kids can barely take care of themselves let alone their seed....
Broke+Kids=broke for longer
Broke+Kids=broke for longer
LOL and your your gonna be broke for way longer of your life if you have kids and your broke. Ya think things are tough now,lol a kid is a HUMAN, not a puppy or a plant or something you pay attention to when you want to,lol These people need to get their lives togeether. If they can sit around and plan a birth and all that comes with it, then why are they broke??? Leaves me wondering these peoples sanity,lol
Broke+Kids=broke for longer
LOL and your your gonna be broke for way longer of your life if you have kids and your broke. Ya think things are tough now,lol a kid is a HUMAN, not a puppy or a plant or something you pay attention to when you want to,lol These people need to get their lives togeether. If they can sit around and plan a birth and all that comes with it, then why are they broke??? Leaves me wondering these peoples sanity,lol
windsurfer
Member
if you're broke it might be a better financial situation to HAVE kids not, not have any.
before you say thats not true it is its fact there are many unemployed mums with 7 kids in this country living on thousands of pounds a month
before you say thats not true it is its fact there are many unemployed mums with 7 kids in this country living on thousands of pounds a month
how can you think you have good parental tactics when youve never had a kid? You hate kids but im sure not too long ago you were one yourself. people are weird
I hope my kids decide to show up when I'm not broke.
We could apply that to Wall Street as a whole. Not to mention 1/3 of our corporations that successfully lobbied for three decades to dissolve their income taxes and move our jobs to other countries.
