Inappropriate Responses--

[kmk420kali]

i have the best wife ever.. She knows how i am and how i talk, so i have said the id hit and quit that on tv without trouble .

Haha....yeah, I am blessed with a great wife too....she just rolls her eyes and chuckles at my comments....she knows how I am....very vocal...but would never disrespect by action--

 

[GreatLakes THC]

I once whistled at my wife to get her attention. Yeah, didn't go over so well.

I once whistled at my wife a second time to innocently get her attention. + =

I have never whistled at my wife a third time.

GreatLakes THC

 

[BornToBeWild]

Was at a mom and pops grocery store a few months back was pretty blazed just needed some 'tater chips and a drink. The cashier (good friend) seen my red eyes and asked if I had been crying, not knowing anyone else was in there I said "no I'm just blazed as all gets out, and can't believe your moms homemade donuts are still there with all the piggy fuzz out and about". I turned around and there are 2 cops standing there I about pissed my pants!

 

[GreatLakes THC]

Doh!!!!!

Doh!!!!!

:jawdrop:

hehe...

GreatLakes THC

 

[purple_man]

last time i brought some vaseline to my ex girlfriend (to smear the door in the living room, cause it made funny sounds)... so yeah, i get to her place, say high and put the pack of that ish on the table, she gets mad sort of and start cussin me out for going for some backdoor action and what not... and i was like: "what? your mind is dirty grrrl, the vaseline is for the living room door, if i wanted some backdoor action, we d be humpin already lool" MUHHAHAHAHA needless to say it silenced her for a while... as chapelle would say: " when keepin it real goes awfully wrong..."

blessss

 

[SmokinErb]

Not a response of mine, but one I witnessed. Years ago I was in court for some misdemeanor charges, and there was a guy there facing a few felonies. He was a little uhm... off his rocker, to say the least. Schizophrenic, I think About 6' tall, maybe 130-140 pounds, really skinny, about 65-70 years old, long scraggly white beard and hair.

Some of the questions/responses that I still remember to this day, in no particular order:

Judge: Do you understand that your public defender, (insert name here) is representing you?
Him: I don't need no representation. (And in effect, fired his public defender)
Judge: Then do you understand you will be representing yourself in the court of law?
Him: I don't represent nobody, I'm not a gang member.

Prosecutor: So Mr. Brothers, what would you like to do? Take a plea bargain? Go to trial?
Him: Well... if you don't know what I want... then I'm not gonna tell you.

Judge: Mr. Brothers, you are ordered to be held at the (insert county here) county jail until your pretrial court date on (insert date here).
Him: Who are YOU to tell people what to do?

Prosecutor: If you would just write us before your next court date and let us know what you'd like to do, how you'd like to proceed with this case, that would be great. (Something like that)
Him: They won't give me a pencil.

His fired public defender: Well I know I just got fired, but I'd like to suggest the courts please look into a mental evaluation before sentencing occurs.

 

[Bobby Stainless]

^That's hilarious.

 

[kmk420kali]

Not a response of mine, but one I witnessed. Years ago I was in court for some misdemeanor charges, and there was a guy there facing a few felonies. He was a little uhm... off his rocker, to say the least. Schizophrenic, I think About 6' tall, maybe 130-140 pounds, really skinny, about 65-70 years old, long scraggly white beard and hair.

Some of the questions/responses that I still remember to this day, in no particular order:

Judge: Do you understand that your public defender, (insert name here) is representing you?
Him: I don't need no representation. (And in effect, fired his public defender)
Judge: Then do you understand you will be representing yourself in the court of law?
Him: I don't represent nobody, I'm not a gang member.

Prosecutor: So Mr. Brothers, what would you like to do? Take a plea bargain? Go to trial?
Him: Well... if you don't know what I want... then I'm not gonna tell you.

Judge: Mr. Brothers, you are ordered to be held at the (insert county here) county jail until your pretrial court date on (insert date here).
Him: Who are YOU to tell people what to do?

Prosecutor: If you would just write us before your next court date and let us know what you'd like to do, how you'd like to proceed with this case, that would be great. (Something like that)
Him: They won't give me a pencil.

His fired public defender: Well I know I just got fired, but I'd like to suggest the courts please look into a mental evaluation before sentencing occurs.

Hahaha!!!
That kinda reminded me of one time I was seeing a Judge (In-Custody)...and the guy before me steps up...
Judge: How do you Plea on Possession of 2.5 ounces of Methamphetamine??
Dude: Your Honor...when I was arrested, I had a half pound of Crystal....I want to know where my other 5 and a half ounces of speed went!!??
Judge: That is a good question!! DA???
DA: We would like to have this Case Continued...
(True story!!)

 

[rexamus616]

Mines not half as funny as some so far, but here it is;

I was enjoying a nice family dinner with an ex-girlfriend and her family. Her mother had brought out all the special dinner-ware and glasses etc. for this 'special' occasion. All was going well, when I asked about the glasses we were drinking out of. (since they looked 'futuristic' or something to me....)

Well she replied; "Oh, we got them as a wedding present..."

My girlfriend of the time was like 16-17, so I guessed that their marriage must be a similar age or older....

And I piped in without missing a beat; "God, they're not that old are they?"



The damned glasses looked modern as fuck!........ Stupid boy......~!

 

[Thomkal Vwalaa]

Set up: drunk with 21 year old girlfriend in bed with the lights off...

Inappropriate question from her: you know what hole you are in right?

Inappropriate response from me: uh, I do now, whoops, gross.

 

[Thomkal Vwalaa]

Number two.

Set up: I was thinking about banging my 17 year old dishwasher at work, a total spinner. It's #1 perk of being the sous chef. Her mom was the bartender.

Her mom knew something was up and said: What are you two up to?

Inappropriate response to her mom: I didn't do it!

Inappropriate response from the mom: You have my permission, like I care.

HIGH FIVE! GREAT SUCCESS!

 

[kmk420kali]

Number two.

Set up: I was thinking about banging my 17 year old dishwasher at work, a total spinner. It's #1 perk of being the sous chef. Her mom was the bartender.

Her mom knew something was up and said: What are you two up to?

Inappropriate response to her mom: I didn't do it!

Inappropriate response from the mom: You have my permission, like I care.

HIGH FIVE! GREAT SUCCESS!

I have to say, I cannot laugh at this one--
Sorry dude, taking advantage of underage girls is not my cup-o-tea--
Her mom is a piece of shit--

 

[RudolfTheRed]

just because someone is big doesn't mean you should ask them when the baby is due.....


oppppssss

 

[zenoonez]

17 years old is plenty old enough to make decisions, thus the age of consent vs the legal adult age. Not saying its appropriate for a 45 year old man to be hitting a 17 year old but I don't disprove on a legal or moral level, I think it is more of an aesthetic that I find distasteful.

 

[trichrider]

was invited to Christmas drinks at a neighbors house, after accepting a traditional punch-type drink and tasting it, I blurted out "tastes like Listerine", to a roomful of their guests...still think honesty obtains.

 

[kmk420kali]

just because someone is big doesn't mean you should ask them when the baby is due.....


oppppssss

Hahaha!!!!! Done that one too!! That is an unrecoverable fuck up--

 

[kmk420kali]

17 years old is plenty old enough to make decisions, thus the age of consent vs the legal adult age. Not saying its appropriate for a 45 year old man to be hitting a 17 year old but I don't disprove on a legal or moral level, I think it is more of an aesthetic that I find distasteful.

I had more of a problem with the mothers response than I did with him trying to hit it-- No big tho....not trying to turn this Thread serious--

 

[Thomkal Vwalaa]

17 years old is plenty old enough to make decisions, thus the age of consent vs the legal adult age. Not saying its appropriate for a 45 year old man to be hitting a 17 year old but I don't disprove on a legal or moral level, I think it is more of an aesthetic that I find distasteful.

i was 21. she was 17, a few weeks from 18, half asian too. She already had more sexual partners than I. I never said she was classy.

 

[kmk420kali]

i was 21. she was 17, a few weeks from 18,

And that does make a difference-- Her moms response was still shitty tho-- Peace--

 

[Thomkal Vwalaa]

And that does make a difference-- Her moms response was still shitty tho-- Peace--

agreed, her whole family was trash. I was going to wait the two weeks for her to turn 18... until I got the go ahead. If you've never gave it to a girl bent over a keg in a walk in cooler... well then you ain't a chef.

You wanted inappropriate... I gave ya inappropriate, on many levels.