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Apartment Neighbor Argument / Security - Please Help!

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Anti

Sorcerer's Apprentice
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When I was in my teens I was in a band that practiced in my mom's garage. On the weekends we'd take the PA outside and have practice in the backyard.

After a few weeks, a cop showed up and told us we had to be quiet because he could hear the music from over a block away. I looked at the cop and said, "I can hear 3-4 lawnmowers going right now that are clearly at least a block away. Can you do something about that?"

He gave me a nasty look and told me that rock music was different.

I say ok, we shut everything down and he leaves.

A week later, I go out and set my PA up in my backyard.

I hook up a microphone to the PA, crank it up as loud as I can without blowing the SYSTEM and then I turn on my lawnmower.

I aim the microphone at the lawnmower and I broadcast perfectly legal "lawn mowing" sounds at 180 db for the rest of the afternoon.

Yeah, I was a kid.

Still funny as hell, though.
 

accessndx

♫All I want to do is zoom-a-zoom-zoom-zoom..
Veteran
I'm not gonna kiss ass.. I'm going to go up there and explain my situation to her and simply hope shes not ignorant about it.

I just don't know if I should wait any longer then this.. I've got to get her on my good side but I'm not bringing cookies guys.

That's going to work in some Bizzaro alternate universe. Methinks you should revisit the pillage, rape, torture, sabotage and dirty-fighting path.
 
Who here besides me sees these two getting married....

"It all started when I called the coppers on your daddy...."

LMAO.

Good luck dude. :tiphat:
 

libby

Member
Red, get in there now and speak to her (like you should've done in the first place) you'll feel better, she will, and you may even sleep better.... What's the worst that can happen? Make sure your moblile is in your top shirt pocket, on record. Go on, get it done NOW!!!

( He won't) :comfort:
 

DiscoBiscuit

weed fiend
Veteran
A week later, I go out and set my PA up in my backyard.

I hook up a microphone to the PA, crank it up as loud as I can without blowing the SYSTEM and then I turn on my lawnmower.

I aim the microphone at the lawnmower and I broadcast perfectly legal "lawn mowing" sounds at 180 db for the rest of the afternoon.

Yeah, I was a kid.

Still funny as hell, though.

That's funny for an adult. Like when pops bucked up in my face and yelled, "YOU WILL MOW THAT GRASS TOMORROW!!!!"

I just got up a 6am and cranked the mower outside his bedroom window. :ying:
 

whodair

Active member
Veteran
knock, knock ...

knock, knock ...

wanna have cookies and milk with me and my girlfriend...well, its getting late (9pm) and i gotta go work on my resume and check my credit score today before turning in...

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Get yourself an inline fan with a carbon filter. Make sure all your smoke goes into it, then use an air deodorizer. Keep your smoking implements out of sight. Ride out your lease then move on.
 

HydroCab

New member
Have you went and talked yet? its been a while now.

If it was me id record the conversations with her from here on out, just to have ammo in case she shits bricks. i would speak soft and calm to her and as often as possible.

If/When she blows her gasket and tries some shit because u are always asking nicely for her to keep it down, when the cops come to investigate and things start to go a lil rough, bust out them tapes and be like. "Officer, I have been more than patient with her even through all these threats and accusations, please help me resolve this issue." they love that kinda talk and it has a bonus in that it makes her look irrational, which is all youll need in court.

Document everything. date time for all conversations all filed up nice a neat for the cops.

but seriously, try to just deal with her yourself, cops complicate everything in situations like this.
good luck
 
S

snoopytime

Wait a second she STARTS vacuuming at 11:30 PM!?!?! And doesnt STOP until 6AM?
Do you 'smell' METH SMOKE? Does she have picky zits on her face? DOes she always go to the crafts store and come home with bags of hot glue gun sticks and shitty wreaths & vases to stick glitter magic on? DOes she frequently get boxes from DREMEL Corp? DOes she sniff a lot when you talk to her? She may be a retarded tweeker bitch from outer space!
 
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libby

Member
Glad to see that you went for it.RED, YOU CAN'T BE IN BED?:tiphat:

Can't go to bed myself, need an update.......... Nearly 11pm over here, no smoke left, gutted.
 

Stress_test

I'm always here when I'm not someplace else
Veteran
You know men and women almost always clash when one of them is seeing another. If you were both living there alone then you might actually get along.

I think most of the responses I read in this thread were rather childish and would only further complicate your problems.

Nobody ever heard that saying about people who live in glass houses? I mean what the fvck? Dude threatens to call LEO and then gets caught smokin weed by said cop?

YOU GOT CAUGHT SMOKING POT BY A COP! Dude you are crying about the noise and you are damn lucky to not be sitting in jail where it never gets quiet.

You ain't a kid anymore and are going to have to remember that a lot of people are obtuse. In order to live in peace it is necessary sometimes to find a non-aggressive way to resolve neighborly disputes. Sometimes in order to kiss the kitty you just have to smell a little pooh.

If it were I? I think I would go spend a few dollars on a couple bottles of wine and the next time the noise level get to the breaking point, I would take my GF and the wine, some glasses and go upstairs.

Knock gently and when she answers the door I would hand her a glass, introduce the GF and yourself and then explain: You are ALL awake and bored and since she was obviously awake anyway, why not go meet the neighbors on a more "friendly note".

Feed her a couple glasses of wine, maybe smoke a bowl and visit a little. Make apologies about the other time and don't even mention the cops.

It's usually more difficult for people to torture and screw with people they "know" or have had friendly contact with.

If that doesn't work I would call Hillary Clinton. She is pretty good at making people disappear without questions being asked.

Get yourself an inline fan with a carbon filter. Make sure all your smoke goes into it, then use an air deodorizer. Keep your smoking implements out of sight. Ride out your lease then move on.

That's really not a bad idea really and maybe one of those ozone or ionizer things too.
 

TruthOrLie

Active member
Veteran
Don't forget, before the night ends, make sure you've asked at least once if she goes both ways

if shit gets wierd tell her you meant "drinking and smoking"
 

DiscoBiscuit

weed fiend
Veteran
LOL!

Sorry stress, the "childish" responses are reading a bit better than yours. Truth's avy cracks me up every time.
 

ddrew

Active member
Veteran
I hope nothing happened to him.

He knocks, girl assumes the worst and throws open the door, shoots him, and then slams it shut.

He's been laying in the hallway in a pool of blood with a plate of cookies next to him for over an hour now.

Let us know how it went when you get a chance Red.
 

Tilt

Member
You can do a google search in your area for local noise ordinance. Cut and paste with some official looking letter head. Mail it to her as a clear warning or go file a noise complaint at the station. Do not call the police. Fill out paper work. Take a copy to your apartment manager. Tell them if you would like to move into another unit if one is available. Google her name and call her parents. They probably pay the rent anyways. Make nice apologize and start off on the right foot. Turn your enemys into acomplices, (I mean friends). You got alot of options. White noise is my favorite. I used a loud onoxious porno one time. It worked.
 

Anti

Sorcerer's Apprentice
Veteran
Off Topic:

I had an apartment once and the people below us had a very explosive relationship. I'd wake up at 6am or earlier 4-5 days a week to hear them screaming at each other and breaking things. It was summer, windows were open in both apartments.

After a few weeks of this I added my own voice to the yelling whenever they'd wake me up. I'd yell, "BREAK THE FUCK UP ALREADY!" or "YOU TWO ARE TERRIBLE TOGETHER!"
 
Buy an ounce of blow and hide it in her house, the next time she calls the cops, tell the 5.0's that she is a coked up whore....with lots of guns in the house... That should pretty much take care of any future issues with that bitch. Cops get hard on's for guns and coke.... Good luck.

........BUT, Whatever you do, Never! Ever! Call the Police.
 
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