Anybody Remember Your First Dirty Joke.

[HighDesertJoe]

I remember mine well:
I was 8years old and I learned it from a High School kid, Funny thing about the joke is I didn't not understand, So one Sunday morning I told my MOM I've got a joke for you, I said. She looked at me with her big beautiful innocent browns eyes as I told her the joke she didn't smile she just nodded her head. it goes like this:

There was a couple that went to a nice hotel for there Honeymoon

in the morning after there first night as man and wife they didn't show up for there morning breakfast

the manager wondered what happened to them? the Bell Hop said I Know I Know..but the manager just looked at him like right I'm sure

So the next morning again there don't show up for breakfast again
the manager was getting a little worried, again the Bell Hop said I Know I Know what happened to them, Again the manage said "yeah yeah"

So again in the morning when they didn't show up the manager was really getting worried. Once again the Bell Hop said I know what happened to them, so this time The manager said all right Smart ASS what happened to them..

The Bell Hop said "I PUT GLUE IN THE VASELINE..

So after my dear MOM patiently listened to my joke without any emotion she went in the bedroom where my Dad was and about Three minutes later the biggest ROAR of laughter came out of their bedroom ..it wasn't till years later I fully understood the joke but I kept telling it to anyone who'd listen...

 

[catcherintheye]

LoL, first dirty joke I remember.

Guy wanted to start a farm so he went to a well established rancher for help. He told the rancher, "I want to start a farm and would like to buy some animals." The rancher responds,"ok, what would you like". The man says, "I think I'd like a donkey, thats an ideal animal, I can use him to work and get around." The rancher says," ok but we dont call them donkeys we call them asses and we only have special asses". So the man bought his ass and inquired about the "special" aspect of the ass. The rancher said, "this ass will stop from time to time and when he stops you must scratch him to continue working".

The N00b farmer thinks "easy enough" he then thought... It would be ridiculous to start a farm with only one animal. He said,"I need an animal I can easily breed and will multiply quick, how about a chicken?".. The rancher recommends a Cock, he then says we also have poulets so they can breed. The N00b farmer says whats a pullit? The rancher sayss a poulet is a female chicken, a hen. So the man buys his cock and poulet and rides off into the distance. Halfway into town the donkey stops and the mans hands are full, he politely asks a lady walking by him if she would hold his cock and pullit while he scratched his ass.

 

[bobcat1963]

It was something about an epileptic oyster shucker......

 

[HighDesertJoe]

LoL, first dirty joke I remember.

Guy wanted to start a farm so he went to a well established rancher for help. He told the rancher, "I want to start a farm and would like to buy some animals." The rancher responds,"ok, what would you like". The man says, "I think I'd like a donkey, thats an ideal animal, I can use him to work and get around." The rancher says," ok but we dont call them donkeys we call them asses and we only have special asses". So the man bought his ass and inquired about the "special" aspect of the ass. The rancher said, "this ass will stop from time to time and when he stops you must scratch him to continue working".

The N00b farmer thinks "easy enough" he then thought... It would be ridiculous to start a farm with only one animal. He said,"I need an animal I can easily breed and will multiply quick, how about a chicken?".. The rancher recommends a Cock, he then says we also have poulets so they can breed. The N00b farmer says whats a pullit? The rancher sayss a poulet is a female chicken, a hen. So the man buys his cock and poulet and rides off into the distance. Halfway into town the donkey stops and the mans hands are full, he politely asks a lady walking by him if she would hold his cock and pullit while he scratched his ass.

That was really funny Thanks for the laugh..

 

[Frozenguy]

Three guys were walking and walking forever, night fell, and they came upon a farm. They decided to ask for a place to sleep, maybe a meal. They knocked on the door and the farmer came to the door, asking what they wanted. They said they needed a place to sleep and maybe some food. He said he would feed them and give them a place to sleep as long as they didn't sleep with his beautiful daughter, or else he would whip the hell out of them. They all agreed. That night, the farmer put green sprinkles down his daughters pants.

The next morning, he lined the guys up and told the first one to drop his pants. Green sprinkles.. Second guy drops his pants, green sprinkles. The third guy dropped his pants and nothing! As the two were being whipped, the third stuck his green tongue out at them in play.

 

[HighDesertJoe]

Three guys were walking and walking forever, night fell, and they came upon a farm. They decided to ask for a place to sleep, maybe a meal. They knocked on the door and the farmer came to the door, asking what they wanted. They said they needed a place to sleep and maybe some food. He said he would feed them and give them a place to sleep as long as they didn't sleep with his beautiful daughter, or else he would whip the hell out of them. They all agreed. That night, the farmer put green sprinkles down his daughters pants.

The next morning, he lined the guys up and told the first one to drop his pants. Green sprinkles.. Second guy drops his pants, green sprinkles. The third guy dropped his pants and nothing! As the two were being whipped, the third stuck his green tongue out at them in play.

for the laugh!

 

[Stoner4Life]

a young honeymooning couples car breaks down in the country, while getting fixed a local farmer agrees to put them up for a few days, $25.00 per day room & board. The farmer wakes them on morning 1 asking what they'd like for breakfast, "nothing farmer John, we're living on the fruits of love!"... they don't emerge from the room all day and so for evening supper the farmer knocks again on their door to ask if they'd be to supper, "no thanks farmer John, we're living on the fruits of love!"

the same routine went on for day 2 without them once emerging but on day 3 when farmer John come knocking and got the same reply "no thanks farmer John, we're living on the fruits of love!" Farmer John replied back, "well that's fine but please stop throwing them skins out the window, my chickens are choking on them......."

 

[HighDesertJoe]

a young honeymooning couples car breaks down in the country, while getting fixed a local farmer agrees to put them up for a few days, $25.00 per day room & board. The farmer wakes them on morning 1 asking what they'd like for breakfast, "nothing farmer John, we're living on the fruits of love!"... they don't emerge from the room all day and so for evening supper the farmer knocks again on their door to ask if they'd be to supper, "no thanks farmer John, we're living on the fruits of love!"

the same routine went on for day 2 without them once emerging but on day 3 when farmer John come knocking and got the same reply "no thanks farmer John, we're living on the fruits of love!" Farmer John replied back, "well that's fine but please stop throwing them skins out the window, my chickens are choking on them......."

lol ..Way to Funny..Thanks,,

 

[payes]

A man has a dentist appointment in the afternoon. His wife asks: Can you lick me again before going to the dentist.
He: no problem licking his wife. Then when he noticed his teeth brushing a pubic hair between his teeth. He calls for his wife because he did not get it out.
She says: oh no problem we cut the front and rear then no one will see.

Afternoon, he sits at the dentist and the dentist asked him first of all, well, you've licked your wife again?

The man: Have you seen this about pubic hair?

Dentist: No, sorry you still have poopoo on the chin

i was 10 and its a German Joke i think

 

[HighDesertJoe]

A man has a dentist appointment in the afternoon. His wife asks: Can you lick me again before going to the dentist.
He: no problem licking his wife. Then when he noticed his teeth brushing a pubic hair between his teeth. He calls for his wife because he did not get it out.
She says: oh no problem we cut the front and rear then no one will see.

Afternoon, he sits at the dentist and the dentist asked him first of all, well, you've licked your wife again?

The man: Have you seen this about pubic hair?

Dentist: No, sorry you still have poopoo on the chin

i was 10 and its a German Joke i think

Oh jezzz's That Cracked me up and I cringed a little..Thanks

 

[Mezz Mezzrow]

It was in preschool and had to do with "headlights" and "parking in the garage."

 

[s13sr20det]

it was the first day of school and the teacher was taking roll when a student came in about 30 minutes late. so she asked where he was and he said "on top of blueberry hill" so she told him to have a seat and continued taking roll. about 20 minutes later another boy came in and the teacher asked where he was and he replied "on top of blueberry hill". she told him to have a seat and continued teaching. a little bit after that a little girl came in and the teacher said "hello, whats your name" and she repied "my name is blueberry hill"
i think i heard that in 6th grade

 

[redspaghetti]

when i was 10 i helped my uncle digs graves for the cartel on the island and main land

but digging graves alone isnt the job, we would have to strip the bodies and spray em with some type of chemical before throwing them down the hole

i was told it would be good for fertilizer ....

did it for a few years and the death tolls deceased as the cartie killed everyone
we were out of jabs


red.

oops

lol nvm i thought this thread is about dirty job i guess i was a bit high when i read the tittle

 

[HOPS5K]

The only one I can remember was something about vampires.

What's grosser than gross? 2 vampires fighting over a bloody tampon.

Ewww!

 

[HighDesertJoe]

You all are funny..

 

[MrBluntfaced]

Three white horses fell in the mud!

EWW THAT'S FILTHYYYY!! ^^^^

 

[s13sr20det]

how do you get a jolly rancher??

fuck a farmer

 

[HighDesertJoe]

LOL I need the laugh today keep them coming..Thanks

 

[Don Dump]

It was something about an epileptic oyster shucker......

Whats the difference between an epileptic oyster shucker and a hooker with diarrhea?

an epileptic oyster shucker shucks between fits...


How do you get a gay man to have sex with a woman?

fill her pussy up with shit

hoo hoo

 

[HighDesertJoe]

hoo hoo

Oh SHIT..