Failed/Disgruntled Musicians Thread

[darkstar12]

I know theres probably alot of people like myself on here...thought it might be cool to start a thread for failed/disgruntled musicians.

Dont want to say what instrument I play, but spent years studying jazz and spent most of my 20's and 30's playing with great musicians in genres ranging from jazz, swing orchestras to classic rock, originals, and jam band oriented stuff.

I've always thought I was decent at what I do, and I figured that since some of the people I was playing with were very, very good on their instrument, that I was probably a little bit more than competent at what I do..Im certainly not the best, and there are some things that I am unable to do, partly out of lack of the technical ability to do those things, and partly out of a lack of interest in working to develop certain techniques I don't care for.

I've played shitty bars, great bars, small to medium sized theaters, private parties and festivals...

But lately, (being the past 3-4 years) since Ive approached my mid 40's I've found it to be almost impossible to find a band or find people that want to commit to a project.

The past 3 years have seen me in 4 different bands, each one got to a point (after about 3-6 months) where we were pretty tight, had a good sound, and started booking gigs. It was usually at this point where someone would either go nuts or leave the band for some reason or other...

So after spending alot of time, effort and money into various projects over the past few years, and seeing each and every one crash and burn just as things looked promising, it has left me very, very frustrated and wondering about things such as:

By the time your in your mid 40's, if your not already in a band that is doing well its time to hang it up and move onto something else....


Maybe Ive just been a hack and suck at what I do all this time..

Also, do I really want to be that guy, who at 50 is not doing anything but playing in a bar that just has his friends in the audience???

 

[gdtrfb]

if you enjoy doing it, continue to enjoy doing it. if it's a pain in your ass, maybe it's time to take up golf.

you're kinda concentrating on the external aspects (and w/ bands falling to shit around your earlobes w/ a frequency, it's hard not to) but what matters - by my yardstick, at least - is if you're digging what you're doing.

if it still makes you smile, keep at it.

 

[darkstar12]

Yeah, thats the thing I guess, its really not enjoyable anymore. All these bands falling apart have really just done nothing more than to throw my self confidence out the window, and really left me wondering if I was ever a capable musician...

Plus, the couple of times recently where I thought about trying to start something up again kind of gave me panic attacks when I think about all the work Ive put into things recently only to see things crash and burn...Hell, in one project I was in we spent 4 months solid rehearsing and 2 months working on a demo for clubs, than one of the guys decides that he dint want to play in any place that was more than a 30 minute drive from his house...

I wonder how much a set of golf clubs runs??

 

[gdtrfb]

i'm not even sure what a capable musician even is (technically proficient? the unquantifiable 'soul'? lady gaga outfits?) so i doubt i'm going to be much help on that one

maybe you can get a golf bag big enough to fit your tuba into?

 

[ion]

good thread darkstar12, i'll be back later with more, this'll be fun.

i remember playing solo at red rocks in 2002 in front of 10k people, my....120 seconds of fame.


now i play in barns to 20-30 people.

but, i love it.


ya know, if you pine for the old days, you can always become a hired gun on the cruise ship scene

 

[DoobieDuck]

Darkstar welcome to IC Mag. You're in good company here. I am not disgruntled, but, due to disabilities, have failed. I played live for 40 years, mostly in small venues, bars etc., I feel your pain Brotha. I miss live gigging more than anything activity I loved. It is so hard for me not playing live I had a hard time going to see live bands as I always wanted to return to the stage and can't. I do see concerts still and play a new years gig once a year, thanks to the band that will still have me. I filled the gap with a 16 track digital recorder and doing what I can here at home. Often if you drive by the Doobsters home you can hear an assortment of different bands crankin through the old tube Sansui and me playing along on bass, guitar, or keyboards...the voice ain't what it used to be. DD

 

[basspirate]

Hellllooooo! Was thinking of starting a kind of similar thread, glad I found some other musicians on here.

I can totally, totally relate to what a lot of you feel in my own way. Please excuse while I give you the medium length version. This will get to a point about feeling like a failed musician, I promise...

I started studying classical piano at age 8, did every musical thing possible through elem/jr high/started touring with guys in their 30s while I was still in High School. I would leave out Friday right after school (sometimes to Canada even) and come back tired as fuck Monday morning just in time for school. By 19 I had recorded 3 commercial records, one with two Grammy winning producers. I had started playing guitar at age 10 and bass at 12 and that was pretty much my whole existence; not many friends, didnt start tokin til 17 and my dad was a former pro (excellent player, well versed in many genres, knew theory pretty well too). When I would get home my dad and I would cut heads; I'd be shamed and then practice for three hours. Homework? No time for that. Around 16/17 I started playing with my dad in bars on weekends I was in town and had a solid 2-3 nights of rehearsals during school.

After HS, I kept on doing road gigs, teaching lessons at a local store but found I needed to step my game up a bit. I was practicing as much as possible. The idea of musical school was on my mind, but everyone told me I didnt need to go (those bastards), I felt like a professional though, and was to a degree, so I moved to Nashville. Four months into that venture I was on the road full-time. This was cool as we played 5 hours a night, 5 days a week and I was putting an honest 3-4 hours of practice into fingerstyle guitar during my offtime. Of course I was smoking a ton during this time. There's something special about getting a good burn on and having your hands WAY the fuck warmed up after a night's gig. You can really start to be more creative and not have to focus as much on technique. Eventually I started playing Jazz/Funk with a group that got a small record deal, I was cutting a few records a year as the house session player for an indie label and life was good.

But then something happened; I changed from a musical hermit into an adult, a human, I needed more. Besides having my ass kissed by all the people I worked with, being compared to my heros in newspaper reviews (Jaco Pastorius, Les Claypool), I was a lonely, miserable fucking man. My life was all technique and timbre. One of the main reasons I believe in God to this day is that in the depths of a deep depression (and a bad acid trip) I decided that I didnt want to be alone anymore; I asked God, if there really was one, to help me find a connection. Not more than two months later I, by a total random chance, met a woman who could have literally been destined to be my partner. It was fucking nuts. I hadn't dated anyone in three years and within a month of meeting her we were inseparable. Fast forward; married a year later, moved back home, went back to school (for music) and now (three years after meeting) I am sitting here trying to get our son to chill out while I write this damn post!

While it sounds like the happily ever after, and in many ways is, I have struggled endlessly with giving up my touring/session career in Nashville. I am even thinking of switching majors as there is so little work for musicians that could be considered solid or even has anything of a future to it. Getting a solid touring gig as a hired gun or original artist is all about who you know and blow and having exceptional luck (and thats after becoming a pretty darn good player). I forgot to mention that I've spent a lot of my time since 2007 learning classical technique on the double bass as I wanted to pursue orchestral work in smaller regional orchestras. Even stringing 3 different orchestra gigs together with a teaching gig just won't get my family anywhere. We work hard, really hard, but this economy/employment outook is so fucked right now that I feel you need to have some sort of trade or skill that SOCIETY will deem "worthy" of a regular paycheck. I had my road amp broken for 2 years and I couldnt even afford to get it fixed til my dad hooked it up recently.

Some days, I really feel like a fucking failure. Some days, it's enough to watch old friends' faces as I show them what I have been working on all these years; they can't believe it as I switch between 3-4 instruments and display virtuosic technique (on two). And, I will also add that my wife truly understands and recognizes this whole part of my life and has been right there with me.

All I ever wanted was to be able to just say "I'm a musician, that's how I make my living..." not from an ego place, not for self-gratification; it's just that I've worked hard. I don't think I am anything special, I just know that I have worked /hard/ /hard/ /hard/ at making my hands work these damn things well.

May I just say though, that growing some quality bud DEFINITELY has been a good hobby for me (and my mind!). ICmag has been a place where I can put all that expectation and obsessiveness to the side and get into something else for once. So, to any of you who have read through this whole mess, be glad that I forgot a thing or twenty-but thank you for reading. I havent shared this story with many people at all, mainly those who have seen it happen as I've known them so long, or other musicians that I have worked with. Cheers ICmag-ers!

P.S. After reading this, I have realized, it's a lot of stuff to have done and only be 26!! I guess reading this over helps me to not feel like such a wad.

 

[ion]

oooh basspirate.....sounds like you were up against the mighty biz in nashvegas, alright.....didja ever get to hang with glenn worf? do any tracks with chris McHugh or chad cromwell? i spent some time down there....got spat out and left with a mouthful of nasty.


after 15+ years chasing down that same statement you made....making a living from making people groove....i moved to the mountains and said i'dplay with some locals just to get my nut, ya know? now when i play, its effortless, fun, adventurous....and no feeling of having to play 'perfect'....as a result, i play TONS better....and its cool.

love your story on the old days of shedding....i still love to chop-out

thanks for the story Bp


by-the-bye, you been digging on scofield's ray C. tribute by chance?

 

[basspirate]

Hey ion! thanks for reading man, that post was so long and self-indulgent, yet i found writing it therapeutic. first things first, i have only heard a bit of that sco tribute to ray, but i gotta get the whole thing. scofield really hits whatever he is doing outta the park- he's one of the few musicians that i am just like /damn/ i gotta get out and see this guy. i was really into that medeski martin wood and scofield album that came out a couple years ago too.

i didn't hang with those cats you mentioned, but i did have the (mis)fortune of working with two major artists down there. i dont wanna bash the country singer thing, as they are doing their thing just like i'm doing mine, but it really seems like more of a case of being a "character" that the label/mgmt pieces together to form a marketable persona.

i remember one gig i did with a major artist where i had 2 days to memorize an hour and a half set and the other 5 pieces of the band were all new guys brought in to do the same thing. to make a long story short, this joker decides he wants to be a showman and start throwing out all this shit that isnt on the list. i had been awake forever and couldnt even decipher the changes he was throwing at me. i guess it would help if you could make the sign for a 7 chord with one hand. i also thought it would be responsible to not smoke at all-big mistake, i think all that stress made my mind irrational and jumpy. so, yeah, i looked like an ass in front of 5-8000 people. I realized that day I didnt want to be a hired gun anymore.

i know what ya mean about taking the pressure off and actually playing better. pretty much my favorite thing as far as playing with other cats is just to get down on some improvised jammage. i had 3 different projects in Nashville that were solely improvised acts. it was great, i knew the other guys tastes and when we really played to each others strengths and were open communicators it just couldn't go wrong.

i'm going to start doing a low-key bar band thing this week with an old friend. i think it will be nice to play out a bit for kicks (and a coupla bucks) and, like you said, just get that musical nut.

i'd like to hear more about your time in viet-nashville though man. everyone who comes outta there has some good battle stories.

 

[Stoner4Life]

I've been playing air guitar and sing-a-long for nearly 60 years now and it hasn't gotten me anywhere.......

 

[grasspass]

Music is my golf. I am a hack and play for free and fun. For you guys sick of band problems, my brothers friend quit his metal band and he is even more successful, solo with an acoustic guitar. Basspirate , I think that m.m.w.s . CD is called "Out Louder" and it is freakin' awesome.

 

[Sir_Nugget]

Also, do I really want to be that guy, who at 50 is not doing anything but playing in a bar that just has his friends in the audience???

being that guy isnt a bad thing man, could b worse.. if you can support yourself, then imo, u could jam out for fun as long as u want.. heres the thing... should make it about fun and not going platinum...

 

[Burt]

sounds like there are enough peeps in this thread to from the 420 band!
i lived the dream in my teens playing out-these days, i raise a family and am lucky to get in a few jam sessions with other musicians-my outlet is festivals and late night campfires now
i do dream of starting a summer camp for children of all income levels that will feature a converted barn for recording/performing and weekly guest teachers who volunteer their time for the good of the community-I'm equally adept on an axe as I am on reason and garageband type of software-blues to bluegrass-metal embarrasses me now but I have been known to rock the f# minor!