Arrest Stories & Close Calls

[OU812]

When I was in high school, a friend picked me up so we could go watch our school's graduation. I didn't have a license yet.

This chick could smoke more than anyone I have ever met-to this day.

So we're buzzin' down the road, she pulls out a bong from the back seat and fires it up...

Then, she hands it to me.

The road we were on was really beat up and I kept hitting myself in the face with the bong, so I opted to wait until the next time we stopped.

Picture this. 16 year old in the front passenger seat. Just took a huge rip off of the bong and lowered it at a red light, and a COP pulls up right next to me, in the next lane. He's like 3 feet away max. Oh, shit.

Here I am trying to hold this hit...the windows are open in our car AND his-and my lungs are on fire!

He keeps looking right over at us, no way I can blow out this hit or I'm screwed. I was already trying to think of what I was gonna tell my parents...

I had to hold my breath (and my compsure) for a solid two minutes before the light FINALLY turned green, and once he pulled ahead of us, I coughed like I thought I was gonna splatter my lungs on the windshield of the car and/or pass out, whichever came first.

It's funny to think about now, but that has to have been the longest two minutes of my entire life.

I haven't used a bong in the car since.

 

[Yes4Prop215]

^haha man ive been smoking almost ten years and i still cant hold a bong hit in longer than 10 seconds..

 

[OU812]

^haha man ive been smoking almost ten years and i still cant hold a bong hit in longer than 10 seconds..

LOL! Well that wasn't something I'd ever done either, and haven't tried since.

I think it was "young lungs" coupled with the fact that I had the heat sittin' not 3 feet from me. You'd be amazed what you're capable of when something like that happens, I know I was! (I had ac cough for a week after that...but it was a whole lot better than having to call my parents from juvenile hall!)

 

[zingablack]

alright. so i got a new story. yesterday i smoked a joint in my jeep in my garage. i then got my dog and random stuff and left. about 10 minutes into my drive (to buy my girlfriend a ring ) i see a cop 4 lanes over caught behind a slow moving bus. he swerved over to my lane and lit me up. so i pulled over and he walks up and about 2 feet away says wheres the weed. i told him the truth then he asked if i had any in the car. i said maybe but unlikely. i showed him my legal paperwork, which he really didnt care about. he still searched while i was waiting in the back of his car. soon as he found nothing he let me go on my way. but he said if i did have any i wouldve been written up even though i had my paperwork. im kinda worried since i was pulled over for apparently no reason first thing they asked was bout weed. and then i was let off with no tickets when they found none. owell ill just call it a learning experience.

he kept trying to trip me up like

cop= so u have ur weed at home
me- yep
cop- how much
me-bout a half O or so
cop- thats more then ur allowed to have right
me- no its about one fourth of what im allowed
cop- Oh,, ummm ok you can go

i was amazed how much he tried to trip me up

 

[GanjaPharma]

great stories...but mebe this sativa is not the stuff to smoke b4 reading close call tales!

 

[windsoft]

So I had been smoking, decided to get food during this bad winter storm. Left about 9pm. I get to the food joint/gas station and then park out by the last pump so I can leave fast. Just as I come out, munchies with me, two cops roll in. One parks in the closest available spot to the store. The other, riding his cop buddy's ass as they always do, has no where better to go so he parallel parks right by me. They both were trying to only walk 10 ft to get in hahaha. It was only about 20 degrees hahaha. The second is an undercover so I'm kinda startled when I see him park his shit about 8 feet away from my car, our drivers doors facing each other. I'm still walking up, about 4-5 feet behind my car when I realize I'm 150 pounds carrying a footlong sub and a huge coffee with a mayo pack ontop of that. Whoops, the mayo falls off into a puddle within sight of the coppers . I pause for a second-- thinking about leaving it to remain smooth (I don't condone littering), but then I do the right thing and lean down to pick it up. The uniformed undercover gets out as I'm walking over to throw the mayo out in the trash. I live in a redneck town so I always just nod at them and say "hows it" pretty much (I have a very weird accent). Works so far... So he gets about 20 feet away as I start walking towards my driver's side door. Then out of fucking nowhere this maniac german shepard starts barking the alarm out of his cracked window. It surprised the shit out of me as I avoid looking at cop cars whenever possible and hadn't checked the markings (out of site out of mind right?). It barked on cue for about 20 seconds straight without a pause to breathe... I laughed as it was too late for the cops to confront me. Even funnier now that I think about it was that the mayo had actually saved my ass. He was probably just a bored ass K-9.

 

[xinsanewickedx]

well it was 2004-05 ,i was going through some really bad shit in my life at this time and was on my third grow(3 plants).i am at home blazed out when there is a knock at my door i open it to see 2 female cops.they ask if i am @$%# ,i'm like yea what can i do for ya.next thing i know i am cuffed and placed in the back of the cop car.long story short my oldest son's mother ratted me out.i spent a few days in jail before i got bailed out.my case took 2 and a half years.i had to pay some big fine and take drug classes which i got kicked out of and then had to go back to court.when all was said and done i got the charges dropped

 

[Crayonoreos]

About a week away from Thanksgiving, I decided to party with these guys who I had been hesitant to party with for about 3 years. As we actually had a fun time, one of the guys gave me a joint to toke on the way home (I lived about an hour away. Kind of a boring drive at night).

So as I'm leaving their place, I'm going down this two way winding road. I thought the speed limit was 30....It was 15...and just out of a movie, there I was toking on a nice J when all of a sudden these headlights flip on and the good ol' blue and red light up like a disco party. Needless to say I flipped out. I bit off half of the joint and ate it and the other half I threw in between my seat and the armrest. I slowly lit up a cigarette and sprayed myself with some Axe I had in my armrest. I pulled over, got out my book of stuff for the car and my drivers license.

So as I'm trying to stop my heart from exploding, the officer walks up to my car. To my surprise, it was a lady cop. (You just don't expect to see a woman where I was) She asked me how I was doing, if I came from any parties, and where I was headed so fast.

Now before you say what I did was stupid and should never be done I guess I have to explain to you who I am a little. I've always tried to maintain a straight cut look. Nerd type if you will. Although once you hear me talk or have a 5 minute conversation with me, one could notice that perhaps I smoke and like to party. But I've always been an honest dude at the same time. I don't like to cause trouble. I just want to live.

Back to the story: I decided to break down and tell the officer what was really happening. I told her I had came from that party, one guy gave me a joint, and I was planning on going to this McDonalds that was less than a mile away (which I was munchy hungry at this point and I really was headed there) I told her my intentions were to just go to the McD's order something and sit there enjoying my slight buzz and music. She told me she would be right back and asked for me to give her my keys.

At this point I'm shaking. I pull out another cigarette and light it up. No less than two minutes go by and it feels like hours. That's when I see another car in the distance slowly make it's way towards us. That's when it's lights flash. Yep, back-up was here. I knew at this point I was going to jail or something was about to go down. I light up another cigarette. I hear their faint conversation in the background. I'm not gonna reveal my name but it is associated with a movie star. So of course I get a lot of jokes towards these movies and my name. The backup came to my window and asked me what was going on. I explained to him as he shined his flashlight in my backseat and corners. He knows I was very scared and being complient at the same time. He asked the basic, "Do you have any guns in the car? Weapons? drugs? Any reason we should search your car?" I told him I just had a joint. Once again (I know, I know) I say something I shouldn't have and told him I got a J and that I threw it on my floor. He asks me to get it and I dig for it and hand it to him. He asks me if I have anything else. I tell him no and if you want to search my car I would be more than happy to let them. He steps away for a minute and asks me to pop my trunk. As I did I hear silence. They both laugh and he asks me what instrument I play. At this point I forgot I had my Gibson and amp in the trunk. I tell him he can open it and check. He tells me I have a fine model and closes my trunk. After maybe 4 minutes of them talking, mentioning my name, saying that I kinda seem like an honest kid, the woman officer comes back and hands me two tickets. She says I'm not getting arrested but I do have a court date on both tickets, the speeding being $75.00 and the possession of marijuana was $700.00. Yep $775 big ones.

So normally the story would stop here and one would assume I went to court paid the fine. The End. But not in my case. I smoked an entire pack of cigarettes that day and then finally made it to the court. Three people were already sitting in there in the orange jumpsuits plus hand and ankle cuffed. The court room filled up with about 60 people. As the judge came in, she told us all the rules, what it is to plead no contest. The usual.

About 10 people went before me and all of them pleaded no contest with a mini-excuse as to why they were going 20-30 miles over the speed limit. Then it was my turn. I went to the stand and pleaded Guilty on both counts. My head was down and I honestly was weeping a little. The woman officer testified and said I was really honest and that she admires that. The judge agreed on that. The Judge told me to look into her eyes as she explained to me how marijuana wasn't legal yet in our state and how even though it was a small amount (about the size of a pinky nail..Yea 700 for that!) that you got to be smart with weed and at least wait until you get home. The Judge was telling me this after she just yelled at 10 people about speeding and death! She takes her glasses off and tells me that If I stay clean and don't "F--- Up" (she really said that) for 90 days, it will be deferred. I stood their and thanked her with all of my heart. I went to the cashier and she told me that the charge was just $30.00 for court fees. I literally didn't know what she meant and I gave her my credit card. I asked her again why it wasn't 775 and she had to explain it to me while giggling a little bit. To wrap up my story. I called up the only person at the time who would understand and I explained the whole thing to him. We had a good laugh and I drove home, decided to clear my mind by playing some World of Warcraft (I just wanted to distract my mind) and it turns out I won this raffle for about 1600 gold. It's just funny that I got that after this whole court ordeal.

My 90 day probation just ended a week ago!!!

I just have to say that I got extremely lucky because if was any other cop, it would have been a different story no matter how honest I was. Just be careful next time you got green or are partying and decide to drive at night!

 

[SmokyMtnToker]

I have had a few close calls, and have come very close to being busted...but one incident from my youth stands out in my mind. I was driving in Miami, where I lived, about 19-20 years old, back in the early 70's...leaving Jr. college. My buddy, thank God, was driving right behind me and saw the whole thing.

It was a divided 4 lane road and some old man in front of me was going slow so I moved to the left lane and passed him....as a joke I hollered at him as I went by; " Lets get going, Grandpa!!". i didn't curse him or act threatening, just an exuberant kid driving along..and as I look over to the right I see the guy I passed moving up and I look over and he has a gun pointed at me!!

He was shouting and yelling and red faced...I immediately hit the brakes, reached over and slapped the glove box open ( Corvair!!) and grabbed my Dad's pistol, which I had left in the car after some target shooting. I was under 21 and technically not allowed to have a handgun but my dad was a local cop, and I had no fear of a gun charge.

Anyway, I drew down on the old man and was one millisecond away from killing the man when he threw his gun down and pulled over. I drove right up, jumped out of my car and at gunpoint took his pistol away from him, dragged him out of his car and was about to administer a beating to him when cops came out of nowhere and surrounded us.

Some neighbor had called the cops and said there was an armed robbery going down!! Well, I got put in the back of a Metro car and watched with my nuts in my throat as a big motorcycle cop went thru my car and my stuff. I had a portable radio, with a battery compartment that had an OZ of weed in it, and the end of the thing was actually missing!You could see plastic baggy if you looked good at the side of it. The big cop turned it over in his hands a few times, and then threw it back into the back seat!!

My buddy that was following me backed my story all the way...the cops asked me if I wanted to press charges against the old man...but I said NO so i could get that weed the hell out of there. The cops confiscated the gun to run thru balistics before returning it and I had to get fake ID saying I was 21 just so I could go to the station and get the gun back...before dad found out it was not where it was supposed to be!!

Close call...too close. One day driving in bumper to bumper traffic on I-95 in Miami, we were at a standstill, traffic moving at a crawl, near 5 pm...and I am huffing a big stinky J ...I look over to my left and there sits a uniformed Metro cop, windows down in the heat, and my smoke pouring into his car!! When I saw him I jumped, stubbed the J out in the ashtray, and looked over at him....he just shook his head and kept going....thank God.

 

[flyingkite]

Good stories folks. Thanks for sharing. Good thread.

 

[bigcat39]

My wife & I were sitting in the stands at Rice Stadium in Houston. It's 1994, and it's a Pink Floyd live show for The Division Bell. We are waiting for the show to start, and I pull out a joint to get ready for the concert. I'm fumbling around for my lighter when my attorney wife pinches me REALLY hard on the inside of my thigh. I look at her like "What the FUCK was that for?" She inclines her head back. I take the jay outta my mouth, look up, and there is a genuine, no foolin, stetson hat and all Texas Ranger standing right behind me. I mean inches away. And this is when simple possession was a felony in the great state of Texas.....

 

[kydenj29]

well one time i was working for a construction company and i was riding in the passenger seat of a small dump truck me and two friends. Well we're hitting a small pipe and riding to a job. Well we turn on to a road and while i'm hitting the pipe we pass a DOT car and he and I make eye contact (while hitting the pipe) he proceeds to pull us over right away. Well my buddy had a clear ziploc container w/ Beef stew in it. I throw the bag and the bowl in the stew. Well the cop came directly to my door and told us to get out. He searches all of us and finds a pack of papers on me. I tell him that I'm poor and i us everyones cig butts to roll my cigs. So he proceeds to strip search the truck I mean ripping up the floor board, the seat covers, everything. He looks in the beef stew like 3 times. hecomes back to us and says we have to wait for another cop to help him. He searches the truck like 2 more times. He comes back and says that he will have to let us go this time. I told him we didnt have anything anyways. He says "I know no one rolls their own cigs these days" I said yea welll im poor and i do. when we got down the road i open the beef stew and the bag is floating on top.

 

[pease]

i was just want to say it again though.....




FUCK

THE

MOTHER

FUCKING

PIGS.....

^

 

[amazonbird]

so this just happened... im sitting here at my desk on my laptop reading all of your funny stories and i have my toolbox out and I'm modifiying a 70 watt hps shop light (i was getting rid of the light sensor) and my mom walks in... its midnight.. my heart jumps and luckily my lab partner gets on msn and says hey at just the right time and covers the funny stories up kinda... well that still leaves me with this shop light in my hand... and my mom starts asking and i tell her i broke one at work and im fixing it... good cover up im lucky

 

[pease]

move out dawg.... my 'dresser' cover story will only go so far if they find all the lightbulbs I got stashed around here....full time work is too hrad to find :/

 

[CurtisLemay]

In state that wasn't pot friendly I think I had 3 plants going at the time in flower, but they didn't stink. Anyways, im getting baked as usual around midday and I look out my window and there is a cop car sitting in my drive way. I could hear my heartbeat at this point lmao. I just sweated bullets for about 5-10 minutes and he went away.

 

[B. Friendly]

Get this, true story:
So back earlier this decade, when I was a pup I had something going at my parents place. Well I was rated on by a douche and had to deal with the cops at my door. They did not have a warrant but I opened the door and they forced their way in.
Months later I am in court. The judge had to make a decision about flying in an officer who had been transferred across the country. This would have cost flight, pay, hotel, food... and the case was weak. Then later while an officer is testifying with a hand drawn diagram of the house, she labelled a room "my room". But luckily when the popo came the doors where locked to the bedroom and the grow, meaning no way to get to it. They asked me how to get in and i said i did not have a key.
The judge ends up asking how they new it was my room and the police said i helped them with the drawing outside while we were on a break. Which is not true i just asked about the map when i saw it. So the judge asks if my council was present and the officer said no. Based on this fuckup by the officer my case was thrown out due to the officer trying take advantage of me.
I still don't understand it but who cares I was never convicted.

 

[TeamZissou]

thats sucks somebody told on you atleast you got away with it

 

[w.wonka]

so me and a buddy are going to go for lunch.. we decide since we are both out we will met up at this walmart and decide where we will go to eat and one of us will drive.. when i meet up with my buddy i tell him to jump in and i will drive.. he says i got some bud u want to roll it up in a joint before we leave... i was like ok... so i start breaking it up and then my buddy says there is a van coming up behind us stoped... i was like so... then he was like there is a guy coming up to my car... so i through the broken up bud on the floor and my buddy stuffs the bud in his shoe.. this dude pulls out a gun and starts yelling state police, put ur hands on the wheel where i can see them and my buddy to put his hand up too.. flashes his badge and is yelling at me not to make a move or he will blast me in the face... i was like what the fuck.. my hands are up... he is sceaming turn the car off or i am going to get it.. slowly, slowly, hands so i can see them.. i do and put my keys on the roof.. he calls for his partner in another civilian car and he rolls up... they pull us out of the car and ask us what we are doing... i was like nothing.. he is like dont lie to me punk.. i was like i was rolling a joint... he said what else u got in the car.. i was like nothing.. like a half gram of broken up bud on the floor.. they are like u got any coke or herion.. i was like no,, i told u a little bud... they search us and then go through my car and the trunk.. they made me scrape up the shake but most of it was in the carpet.. so then they are like to my buddy they want to search his truck that is next to my car after they ran the plates... my buddy is like ok and i have a glass peice and a bud or 2 in there... they search the truck after he gets it out for them.. at this time marked cars are rolling up and the one guy talks to them as the hard ass cop searches the truck.. the marked cop cars leave... then then one cop asks where did u get the pipe from.. my buddy is like canada when me and my wife were on our honey moon.. guy is like,, suck u will have to break it... my buddy is like can u just give me a ticket and let me keep it.. they are like nope... through it off the pavement.. my buddy does and it doesnt break.. they are like again.. it bounces off and doesnt break... the hard ass cop is like here... stomps on it and still nothing.. then throws it and again nothing... no bull shit.. me and my buddy have all we can do not to laugh as this cop is getting pissed it wont break.. his partner then says in a smart voice, they make make a serious pipe up there in canada.. his buddy gets alittle pissed and gets a beater out of the van and then tells my buddy to beat it till it breaks... it finally breaks... they tell us to stand there and go off and talk to each other... they come back over and tell us to get in our cars and get the fuck out of here and they better never see us up in there again... we got the hell out of there asap and met up where we planed to have lunch.. smoked before we went in with the bud my buddy still had in his shoe that they never found... after talking to my buddy i think they were up there looking for people sell coke or herion cause they kept asking about it.. after they search and realized we only had a little bud,, they let us go...

 

[gdtrfb]

bad doggy

bad doggy

ok, this turned into epiclongmegapost, but i think there's some chuckle's buried in there....

this one is reaching into the wayback machine a bit - this was late 90s. I had settled down quite a bit, knocked the dust of dead tours off my feet, and gotten a 'straight job'.

my old lady heard about a Phil and Friends show at a college town a couple hours away, and decided that would be my belated birthday gift - it wouldn't be the same, but...the idea of seeing the show scene as essentially a 'townie' intrigued me all the same.

the day of the show rolls round, i pick up my old lady and her psychotic friend and we make our way to the concert - all is well with the world. i had a little bit of smoke, enough to pass around a doob or three during the show, but no weight to speak of. as the concert progressed, we burned what i'd brought - and in one of those prophetic 'why-did-i-even-say-that' moments that gets burned in your memory, i even commented as we were leaving that i was leaving a show with nothing illegal on me - no drugs, no paraphernalia, no busload of people carrying warrants, no need for a lead vehicle checking for road blocks, no drawing straws to see who would backpack out the nasties if needed - just John Q. Citizen with a bit of an illegal smile

well...that didn't last. within seconds of passing the turnstiles and starting the "Where the hell did we park?" game, I walked smack dab into 4 fingers of funky green. just right in front of my eyeballs, a full sack of hairy trich covered kindness...i pulled back a bit to notice the teenage tour rat attached the the bag, and acknowledged that he would like to trade the green in my wallet for the green in his bag. having made this transaction, it occurred to me that i now had a bag of funk, but no ready way to consume it. it being a semi-dead tour lot, i knew there would be scads of glass vendors about, so after a few moments of wandering i picked up a new glass pipe to go with my new bag of nugs.

we eventually win the "Where the hell did we park?" game, find my truck and prepare to disembark. i pull out the bag, contemplate packing the new bowl...but decide getting out of town first might be a good idea. so i roll up the sack, and put it in the left leg side pocket of my shorts, and then put the new pipe in the same pocket.

we navigate the lot, dodging lot dogs, tripped out townies, and at least one person who decided that the patch of asphalt between us and the exit was a perfect place to lie down and take a nap - in other words, it was a real life game of Frogger, but in reverse. if you could navigate from start to finish without squishing the stuff that jumps out in front of you, you win. there's the typical police presence at the exit of the lot, but that struck me as 'normal', and didn't really think much of it.

until we were 5 seconds past the exit, of course.

almost immediately, lights-sirens-screaming commence. 2 police vehicles in front, 1 behind...i pull over. i'd landed in this situation several times before (smiling and nodding at the angry alabama state trooper while i had enough acid on me to turn on Tuscaloosa comes to mind) so...while i had the expected adrenaline rush, i wasn't actually sweating.

until i noticed the markings on the cop car parked two vehicles in front of me - two tiny characters embossed on the trunk changed the probable outcomes running thru my mind, and did so with a quickness. K-9

i've got about 5 seconds before i have a whole window full of cop, and no ready way to make the sack disappear, so...i figure 'Disaster Avoidance' has already failed, my best option is 'Damage Control' - i slip my wallet to my girlfriend. the only illegalities are in my pocket - best to have bail money be with the person who isn't going to jail

a cop informs me that i have drawn this much police attention by virtue of having a dirty license plate. and as is apparently the local tradition, one guilty of having a dirty license plate will be attended to by the K9 unit - i'm informed that i have no right to disallow the canine nasal search of the vehicle. they start at the rear driver side door, and circle around the truck, ending at my door - at which point, the german shepard from hell rears back on his hind legs tugging at the leash, looks me dead in the eyes....and then sits, wagging, nearly on top of his handler's right foot. looks at me, looks at the handler. looks at me, looks at the handler.

after being informed that the hellhound's assessment of me constituted probable cause, i was led from my vehicle to the rear police car, and spread eagled over its hood. by now, we've attracted an audience, complete with a half dozen campus bicycle cops. the officer responsible for giving me a grope and auditing my belongings sees this, and apparently decides to make a show of it - he stood across from me and pulled on leather gloves - i'm thinking he was trying to emulate pulling on rubber gloves for a rectal exam, or something - but the combination of this, and the crowd of badges with bike shorts and little bicycle helmets in my peripheral vision...let's just say i more entertained than intimidated.

he starts off emptying my pockets on the right side, and i see the contents appear on the hood between my outstretched arms. my house keys, a lighter, a pack of smokes all make their way from my pockets to the hood of the police car. as the cop plays grab ass, working his way over to the left side pocket with the sack of herb in it - in my mind, it's already happened. i can all but see the bag o' pot on the hood in front of me.

Officer McSearchy plunges his hand into the pocket of great illegality, fidgets around for a second...and all i see show up on the hood of the police car is the new glass pipe. he calls over another officer, and eventually 3 cops are inspecting this pipe, all while i stand still spread eagled over the hood.

the cops caucus on the pipe, and eventually decide that since it's absent any resin, it's legal...and must be given back to me. Officer McSearchy directs me to sit on the curb while we await female officers to search my girlfriend and her psychotic friend. in my mind, i can only work out one possibility at this point - the cop snaked my bag!

as i'm sitting on the curb, one of the officers comes over, and hands me my pipe - which caused the chorus of police spectators in bike shorts to boo at me (i'm not sure at what exact point the evening turned into an episode of the Springer show, but this may have been it).

as i'm sitting there on the curb, and with all police attention diverted to searching my vehicle, i started putting my keys/other assorted crap back in my pockets...and noticed that the bag is still there! the cop didn't steal it, he just couldn't feel it because of the leather gloves - he thought he'd struck gold with the pipe, and must have thought the bag it was sitting on was the bottom of the pocket.

while i'm waiting on a female Officer McSearchy to show up and grope the female members of my party, i noticed the handler and the K-9 not 10 feet away from me. they'd gone over the finer details of my vehicle, and were themselves waiting for the other cops to finish their inspection of the truck. the next few minutes felt like days - sitting there on a curb, surrounded by what has ballooned into dozens of cops by now...with a sack of funk in my pocket, and a drug dog staring me in the eye

they complete their inspection of the truck, and a female Officer McSearchy does a pat-down of my girlfriend without incident - now it's psychotic friend's turn (you don't think i'd introduce someone as 'psychotic friend', and then have no psychotic contribution to the story from them, do you?). up till now, she's been rather demure - quiet, unassuming, just sort of going with the flow of the events around her. UNTIL the female Officer McSearchy puts her hand on psychotic friend's arm to direct towards the hood for a pat-down.

she went from sane to apeshit in .08 seconds - shrieking like she'd just been raped by a troupe of rabid baboons, flailing around and screaming at the cops. she made her way to the middle of the road, and (in what i can only determine in her mind was a 'negotiation' she'd won, without any response at all from the cops) decided that to avoid the travesty of being touched by a cop, she'd just strip ass-nekkid in the middle of the street. the dress flies over her head, she rips her bra off, drops her bloomers - and then just to put an exclamation point at the end of her performance, bends over in the general direction of the cop that wanted to search her, and spreads her ass cheeks.

at this point, the cops have come to the conclusion that the hundreds of vehicles that had passed during the time they were messing with us were likely better targets, and further dealing with this naked insane person wasn't much fun, so they sent us on our way. my girlfriend collected psychotic friend's clothing, pushed the still-babbling-angry-naked-chick into my truck, and we went on our way...with everything that we'd had when the process started.

the sack is long gone, but i sill have the pipe that got handed back to me by a cop...that pipe is likely the reason i didn't have to deal with an out of state parole system, so it will always have a home with me.