HASH GORDON
Member
It just dawned on me today that I've heard way too many excuses associated with that infamous time of the month.
Today my wife and I were horribly snowed in. Both of us were up at the crack of dawn trying to clear off our cars so we could get to our respective jobs.....to no avail. The dooshy plow guy still hasn't shown up and there's a wall of snow everywhere. But I digress: we come into the house, and now she's on the phone with a taxi company so she can goto work. She's planning on walking down the driveway and getting a ride. There's no problem with that....we've got the $ to afford a ride....so the entire morning is really not much more than an inconvenience at best.
As soon as she gets off the phone she's bawling...crying like someone close to her just died. I say "Hey...what's the deal? Why are you crying...everything's cool...". And she emphatically states: "It's my period, I'll cry if I want to". Then she storms out of the room.
So we've been married for about 10 years, and been together for twice that time. I started thinking back to all sorts of stuff I've heard about the dreaded red spot:
Eating lots of junk: It's my period.
Acting like a big baby: It's my period.
Acting irrationally: It's my period.
Not doing what is required/being lazy: It's my period.
Not having sex at any given time: It's my period.
Heightened emotional states: It's my period.
Generally anything: It's my period.
So where do guys get to cash in on all that? I mean where is the analogous excuse we get to use for practically anything? Let's face it....whether it's psychosomatic, real or imagined......you chicks get away with murder practically because you've got different levels of hormones flowing at different times?
Teenagers go through this at puberty and they don't get a pass....in fact they get a bad wrap those little whippersnappers....
I think it's a brilliant plot started forever ago so dames can pick and choose what they'd like to do without fail.
Let's just say that the "." apears to be a virtual skeleton key that can unlock any door of opportunity or exploitation. I want that kinda jazz.
So in closing, I've decided that today I will be the first man on the planet to enjoy the benefits of "THE EXCLAMATION POINT". That's the point I reach where I'm tired of being asked to do things I don't wanna do:
Take out the trash: It's my exclamation point!
Come help with the shopping/groceries: It's my exclamation point!
Acting Lazy: It's my exclamation point!
I think you get the point...
I got hormones in my body too. They flux and flow and cause physiologic and psychological changes equivalently. I just don't make a big deal out of it usually. Today, I claim back the right of men to be just as cavalier about their inner states without repercussion or retribution.
Oooh....I feel bloated...I think I'm going to go eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's....then I'm gonna burn a giant bone of Big Bud with some Bubblegum Bubblehash. Maybe watch some Oprah.
Today my wife and I were horribly snowed in. Both of us were up at the crack of dawn trying to clear off our cars so we could get to our respective jobs.....to no avail. The dooshy plow guy still hasn't shown up and there's a wall of snow everywhere. But I digress: we come into the house, and now she's on the phone with a taxi company so she can goto work. She's planning on walking down the driveway and getting a ride. There's no problem with that....we've got the $ to afford a ride....so the entire morning is really not much more than an inconvenience at best.
As soon as she gets off the phone she's bawling...crying like someone close to her just died. I say "Hey...what's the deal? Why are you crying...everything's cool...". And she emphatically states: "It's my period, I'll cry if I want to". Then she storms out of the room.
So we've been married for about 10 years, and been together for twice that time. I started thinking back to all sorts of stuff I've heard about the dreaded red spot:
Eating lots of junk: It's my period.
Acting like a big baby: It's my period.
Acting irrationally: It's my period.
Not doing what is required/being lazy: It's my period.
Not having sex at any given time: It's my period.
Heightened emotional states: It's my period.
Generally anything: It's my period.
So where do guys get to cash in on all that? I mean where is the analogous excuse we get to use for practically anything? Let's face it....whether it's psychosomatic, real or imagined......you chicks get away with murder practically because you've got different levels of hormones flowing at different times?
Teenagers go through this at puberty and they don't get a pass....in fact they get a bad wrap those little whippersnappers....
I think it's a brilliant plot started forever ago so dames can pick and choose what they'd like to do without fail.
Let's just say that the "." apears to be a virtual skeleton key that can unlock any door of opportunity or exploitation. I want that kinda jazz.
So in closing, I've decided that today I will be the first man on the planet to enjoy the benefits of "THE EXCLAMATION POINT". That's the point I reach where I'm tired of being asked to do things I don't wanna do:
Take out the trash: It's my exclamation point!
Come help with the shopping/groceries: It's my exclamation point!
Acting Lazy: It's my exclamation point!
I think you get the point...
I got hormones in my body too. They flux and flow and cause physiologic and psychological changes equivalently. I just don't make a big deal out of it usually. Today, I claim back the right of men to be just as cavalier about their inner states without repercussion or retribution.
Oooh....I feel bloated...I think I'm going to go eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's....then I'm gonna burn a giant bone of Big Bud with some Bubblegum Bubblehash. Maybe watch some Oprah.
