The problem with taking drug tests while stoned...

[alaskan]

So a while back I had to piss in a cup. It was for a headshop so it was really just a formality.

Anyways, the girl interviewing me/giving me the test was pretty hot, and as I finish filling the cup I realize that she'd probably want to be sure the cup is clean (stoned, trying to read peoples' minds...) So I cap it and run it under the faucet for a few seconds.

I hand it to her with water droplets all over it, and she gave me a weird look, walked to the bathroom to do whatever they do with cups of piss, came back and never really seemed the same.

So I'm pretty sure she thinks I pissed all over the cup, and it's been bugging me for about a year now...

 

[ArcticBlast]

haha
ArcticBlast

 

[Mala Tempora]

I thought you were going to say that you got a really obvious erection in front of her or something.

 

[ArcticBlast]

did you get the job?

ArcticBlast

 

[StellarP]

Hmmm... well it is a violation of my rights so i make extra sure I do piss all over the cup.
Go figure.

Cheers
StellarP

 

[bens lab]

Thats quality, lol. She blatently thinks you pissed all over it on purpose. You should of dried it off, or at least said something.

 

[alaskan]

did you get the job?

Yeah, but I quit soon afterwards. There were two storefronts, I was a 'handyman' at the less-busy store.
I worked with an older guy who smoked all day and moved as fast as a turtle, and the boss kept pressure on both of us to go faster, but the older guy wouldn't, and I just didn't want to deal with it all.
Speaking of turtles, there were like 12 of them there that I had to clean up after, along with a bunch of little birds, which the turtles would eat any chance they got.

There was also no toilet, except for a plywood box with a 5gal bucket and garbage bags in it that I had to clean out every day...

 

[alaskan]

Thats quality, lol. She blatently thinks you pissed all over it on purpose. You should of dried it off, or at least said something.

I wanted to dry it off, but the bathroom was about ten feet from where she was sitting, and the door wouldn't close, so I got a severe case of stage fright and didn't want her to think it takes me 10 minutes to take a piss. I was very much baked, and had no perception of time at that point, and already thought she was thinking I was taking a crap or something, so I rushed it...

 

[mean mr.mustard]

It sounds like you should quit worrying by now

It was a year ago, you didn't want to work there anyway, and from the sounds of it she shouldn't have been suprised if you did, considering her normal environment. lol

 

[bombadil.360]

you are going to need to track this poor girl down who has probably been traumatized since then and explain yourself. or else you may end up becoming a ghost roaming around forever going on about the whole placebo pee incident.

 

[good drown]

must have been a lax lab. most will fail you for that,as they think you dilluted your urine with water. I've always been told NOT to run the sink to wash my hands until AFTER i submit my sample, otherwise i would have to test again

 

[alaskan]

Maybe you missed the second sentence, where I said "It was for a headshop so it was really just a formality..."

 

[Stoner4Life]

Speaking of turtles, there were like 12 of them there that I had to clean up after, along with a bunch of little birds, which the turtles would eat any chance they got.

get fucked! you were doing way more than smokin' weed dude.

bird eating turtles, almost sounds like a Ben & Jerry's flavor.......

 

[good drown]

Maybe you missed the second sentence, where I said "It was for a headshop so it was really just a formality..."

unless the headshop is giving the test, that shouldn't matter if they sent him to a lab to be drug tested. They obviously want to know what drugs he was on. They do test for other drugs besides marijuana, and I am sure the head shop was really testing for harder drugs.

 

[Gr33nman]

very funny!

 

[good drown]

sorry alaskan, i didn't realize you are the op. yea i think they were testing you for meth,coke/crack, and opiates mostly.

so the bathroom was a 5 gallon bucket with trash bag? you had to change it everyday? was it for shits or pisses or both? you should have had them fire the slow guy, pay you his salary plus your, and i honestly bet you would do double the work he did every day. I hate working with slow fucks. My work ethic is way to high, my slacking off is most peoples normal work ethic. it fucking disgusts me

 

[alaskan]

Yeah they were testing for harder things, I probably interrupted a bowl session when I walked in...

And the bucket was full of crap every day. I don't know how the guy did it, but he could dump out 2-5 pounds a day, easy.

The slow guy was actually really cool - cooler than the job, and I didn't want to be responsible for him losing it.

 

[Shrek]

So a while back I had to piss in a cup. It was for a headshop so it was really just a formality....

My brain won't let me read past this oxymoron.............

 

[good drown]

LOL, if only customers knew he was in the back taking dumps in a bucket, most likely not washing his hands, then goes out to handle hand blown glass the customers eventually put to their lips

 

[bombadil.360]

good drown, I thought of similar things when I read about the taking shit in some wooden box covered in plastic bags... that is ghetto toilet style, seriously, in the shanty towns in many places of south america, the shacks have no water service nor drainage, so they poop inside plastic bags, seal them and dump them somewhere, who knows where.