Growers Angst: The Stress of Growing Illegally

[RNDZL]

WOW

that is what I have got to say

Let me upgrade that to a FUCKING WOW

Why? you ask?

I am fine, but what I have recognized for some time now that there is a seems to be a shared angst among growers

a disdain for societal entities that apparently put every one on edge and gives them an inordinate amount of distrust to anything organized

Now I was talking about this to a educated, talented young grower who had articulated that the strain of growing was weighing on him

It is common it builds over time and it is really what separates the men from the boys

fine line between paranoia and caution

constantly maintaining those state can wear on people

I liken it to the underground railroad or helping hide Anne frank from the German army

a mission of humanity so that trumps guilt hands fucking down in my eyes

civil disobedience for the greater good

could be something else


too much coffee??

not enough indica??

the fear of a feminized auto flower revolution??

TMV being put into precursors of canna nutes??

i mean the fear can potentially never end

ill stop before i get stuck on perma ramble

 

[Miss Blunted]

I feel ya.

 

[Gilles&Cheryl]

A lot of people believe, myself included, that fearing something intensely causes it to happen. If you cant do the time, don't do the crime.

You have to decide what your mind will dwell upon - don't let fear decide it for you. A positive mind frame and some good karma will go a long way in keeping you safe.

 

[SpasticGramps]

A lot of people believe, myself included, that fearing something intensely causes it to happen. If you cant do the time, don't do the crime.

You have to decide what your mind will dwell upon - don't let fear decide it for you. A positive mind frame and some good karma will go a long way in keeping you safe.

Great post. I believe you are referring to the process of manifestation. I'm a big believer in that too.

I dunno. I don't carry around a lot of fear and paranoia. Obliviously, a little is good, but having good situational awareness goes a long way. There are certain basic things that do and don't when growing. Take care of your business and don't run your mouth.

I already resigned the fact that I'm going to jail if they ever kick in my door. They are going to be in for a looooooong trial because I've been talking about this with my doctors for years and have their support (bone marrow transplant). They are going to have haul me into court and spend a chunk of change to put me away and they are going to look like heartless bastards doing it. If they ever do put me away, I've thought of that too.

I guess maybe because I have a plan that goes into action immediately if I ever get my door kicked down. I keep a lawyer on retainer. Plan for the worst and hope for the best.

 

[Gilles&Cheryl]

Great post. I believe you are referring to the process of manifestation. I'm a big believer in that too.

I am. If that is a subject of interest for you, I recommend Napoleon Hill's "Think and Grow Rich"....a great book.

 

[SpasticGramps]

I am. If that is a subject of interest for you, I recommend Napoleon Hill's "Think and Grow Rich"....a great book.

Thanks! I have it in my collection. Great read. May I suggest this book too.

It provides a very compelling scientific explanation about why the process of manifestation actually works.

 

[SoCaliSmoker]

This is a great thread because it really does wear on you............

You have lots of free time on your hands (not exactly "free time" because you have to tend to your garden) but you are going to run into people where ever you go. "Hey, what you up too? What you doin now'a'days, where you workin at?" Which you have to constantly lie. And hope that you can stick to your story straight enough so that if people ask people they will all get the lie correct.

Then you have going out. When do you go out? Are you able to go out ONLY before the lights turn on? If you have a closet grow you can go out whenever you want, but if you have an operation, you're restricted to when you can leave. You worry people will assume things when you ALWAYS have to decline anything at night because your lights are on.

How about meeting the opposite sex? If your a guy meeting a girl, or a girl meeting a guy, how are you able to manage? Your not able to bring your partner over to your grow house unless your an idiot because your relationship has about a 99% chance that you two are not going to get married so you don't want anyone to know about or see your grow.

How about friends? Who can actually see your grow (to help you out), who do you trust anymore? Are you worried that they will get jealous or say something?

How do you act toward others? Shady? Quiet? (I don't mean Shady in a way where your an asshole) but my demeanor is "I'm always cool around people, but in all honesty, I'd rather not meet you". Really. I'd rather not be friends, and it has nothing to do with me being a dick. I already have alot of friends and all outsiders want to do is learn how they can get money, or ask you for a handout, or try to be cool so they can get something out of you and all it brings is an extra mouth that knows about what your doing.

And how about, and how about, and how about, and do you see where I'm going with this? Since it's not 100% legit, regardless of your damn Medical Card, we are forced to live in this 50% paranoid all-the-time life and it does take it's toll on you. I probably could have named another few instances, but I'm sure someone else will.

Great post - Rep +1. I try to tell my close buddies, my best friends, it's not as glamorous as you guys think it is! Krunchbubble has a great thread on this subject also....

 

[mpd]

I worry that someone will say something indiscreet or to the wrong person who gets themselves in trouble with the law and plays me like a chip to get themselves out of the hole.

I don't deal so I don't have THAT big of a weight, but I just put in a perpetual garden so I will have the exposure year round now. In times gone by, I'd grow out 4 plants and that would last me six months or more and then I would do another grow.

As I get older (and the pain becomes more or less constant all day long - lemme' tell ya' how bad that sucks!) I realize I will have to have the meds to make my life worth living and that may not even be enough.

I worry that I place my wife at risk and that wears on me too. If I got popped that would be one thing but if they threw down on my wife I would lose it for sure.

 

[Centrum]

I Wouldn't worry to much and try to find something to with your mind besides think about what your doing.
Don't listen to these guys telling you that you will manifest your fears, unlike them your fear wasn't to be suckered into making someone else rich.

If fear was able to manifest in any person who constantly reaffirm there fears then every child in the world would be dead because of parents fears. Opposite as well Every Dreamer would be rich.

There are those who DO and those who WISH.
The only belief you need to know is that you can DO what you WISH as long as you have the will to follow through.

Don't sweat it all you will do is bog yourself down with stress.

 

[themoonismyfrnd]

How do you act toward others? Quiet? (I don't mean Shady in a way where your an asshole) but my demeanor is "I'm always cool around people, but in all honesty, I'd rather not meet you". Really. I'd rather not be friends, and it has nothing to do with me being a dick.

Story of the last year of my life. Gets a touch lonely.

 

[FRIENDinDEED]

once i started to feel that way. i began to think that there was no one else i could actually talk to about growing, but there are many, once i actually started to look.

i guess its different for me, and its funny but most of the ppl are my family!!! lmao smoking, growing, seeds, strains, "bartering" you name it and they've all got it covered in some aspect or another. . . i think about and laugh because just when i thought there was no one i could talk to, it just started to happen, they started coming out of teh wood work, and i was able to gift a family member with some beans i got from my first grow, and that made me feel on top of shit!!

and the ppl i already know are solid with it so no worries there

 

[MoldyFrogToe]

I don't mean to be rude but please type in some semblance of proper English in the future. It's very difficult to maintain the patience to read prose like that.

I agree with what you're saying in general, though. Good thread.

yup

 

[GrowerGoneWild]

How about friends? Who can actually see your grow (to help you out), who do you trust anymore? Are you worried that they will get jealous or say something?

I really hate the fact that close friends even know I grow. I really hate the fact that his girlfriend has been in the growroom.

It really comes down to security, not only for me but for them.

I used to work with this guy and his kid is now serving a life sentence for kicking in a grow op to rip some guys off and he ended up shooting and killing somebody.

Honestly, my grow-op is compromised, and it really just messed with my head. I dont want to be a victim of rippers, it seems insane that I could be held at gunpoint for a little bit of herb.

 

[Iron_Lion]

I hate having people in my house, part of that is because of the plants in my spare bedroom, and part of it is I just dont like people.

 

[CaptainTrips]

I try not to worry about things i can't control... sometimes I still do, but not much. It helps im practically a recluse, only a couple family members know about it, I trust them... Only way I get caught is likely some extradinory thing out of my control, like a fire and the firemen show up, police chase some guy on my property or something...

 

[buckeye-leaf]

very stressful sometimes when family/friends come over that dont toke i get so damn paranoid of them thinking i grow. after doin some prison time it really makes you think "what if they know?". i even get weirded out takin pics maybe someday i will calm down and relax. my cat is the only living thing that knows and i dont think she will say anything except meeeooow :kitty:

 

[medi-useA]

I'll take th@ Bid of growing paranoia, stress and
loneliness....and throw in being Primary carer for a
Schizophrenic!









Sorry Guys and Gals...Had to get th@ off my chest and too stressed for words...



When I get my shit together I'm gonna post in english next time!
muA

 

[SuperSizeMe]

Great post. I believe you are referring to the process of manifestation. I'm a big believer in that too.

I dunno. I don't carry around a lot of fear and paranoia. Obliviously, a little is good, but having good situational awareness goes a long way. There are certain basic things that do and don't when growing. Take care of your business and don't run your mouth.

I already resigned the fact that I'm going to jail if they ever kick in my door. They are going to be in for a looooooong trial because I've been talking about this with my doctors for years and have their support (bone marrow transplant). They are going to have haul me into court and spend a chunk of change to put me away and they are going to look like heartless bastards doing it. If they ever do put me away, I've thought of that too.

I guess maybe because I have a plan that goes into action immediately if I ever get my door kicked down. I keep a lawyer on retainer. Plan for the worst and hope for the best.

Situational Awareness...great word and even better state of being

I am. If that is a subject of interest for you, I recommend Napoleon Hill's "Think and Grow Rich"....a great book.

I could also recommend:

The Magic of Believing by Claude Bristol, if you can still find a copy...

I actually have a pretty good story to share (sometime) as it relates to this very subject...

Don't sweat the small stuff folks

 

[oldgrayhair]

Growing is, I suspect, a much different life than one imagines, even if you've tried to think of all the nuances beforehand. I wouldn't change it for the world; I believe powerfully in what I am dispensing, growing, and doing. Civil disobedience coupled with morality makes me alive as a man. But alas know that there are consequences, big ones, even if you don't get caught.

Awesome thread, but felt these words needed repeating for any young guns out there lurking. The man who farts from cakes knows the deal.

-ogh

 

[RNDZL]

I don't mean to be rude but please type in some semblance of proper English in the future. It's very difficult to maintain the patience to read prose like that.

I agree with what you're saying in general, though. Good thread.

sorry, its how i brain dump

it is meant to seed thought and by the post you made later on you have most eloquently given the words for how my heart feels about it

this too is the result of my acceptance of who I am and what is right in my mind

it took many many years, close to 2 decades to accept it

and when i see this angst and general distrust I feel it to my core

and i want to share the place tht you can get to if you transcend it

growing pot = invaluable medicine

being ok with you and the world around you regardless = priceless

and we deserve it

some very good stuff from spastic gramps references to your insight and to everyones elses comments and experiences

it being outlaw has hampered our ability to use our collective resources to rise above

.. until now

i hope for the new year that the our fellow farmers off all shapes and sizes find a level of comfort and peace in the new year


once again it cant be said much better thn this

via cakefarts

Growing is, I suspect, a much different life than one imagines, even if you've tried to think of all the nuances beforehand. I wouldn't change it for the world; I believe powerfully in what I am dispensing, growing, and doing. Civil disobedience coupled with morality makes me alive as a man. But alas know that there are consequences, big ones, even if you don't get caught.