Calling Pee test Experts
- Thread starter golden
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arcticjake
Member
When it comes to drug testing I prefer to err on the side of caution. It takes can weeks (4-6) to naturally clear your system depending on your usage and levels of body fat. While nothing beats clean living and time I keep a bottle of detox drink handy (and follow the instructions). I've passed multiple employment and insurance physicals while being a daily user for years just by flushing my system with water and using 1-2 hour detox drinks (various brands have worked). Good luck.
Jake
Jake
TexasToker
Member
I would also get out of the military or stop smoking totally. Just seems kinda like typical military to me.
Go to a head shop, ask what they got. Most cleaners will work for X amount of hours, so you need to know when you get tested.
Depending on the test, you can just dilute your urine with drinking a bunch of water..I mean A LOT. When I was active I would partake occasionally when I was a young buck and that let me pass 2 days after I smoked.
I would go with the head shop though. Usually you can get 6-8 hours of clean urine from some of the stuff, notice how you have to drink a lot of water with those too...interesting.
Go to a head shop, ask what they got. Most cleaners will work for X amount of hours, so you need to know when you get tested.
Depending on the test, you can just dilute your urine with drinking a bunch of water..I mean A LOT. When I was active I would partake occasionally when I was a young buck and that let me pass 2 days after I smoked.
I would go with the head shop though. Usually you can get 6-8 hours of clean urine from some of the stuff, notice how you have to drink a lot of water with those too...interesting.
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Water works very well if its a piss test. I was once surprised by a test after applying for a job. When they called me for the test I was in my house getting high. Hour later, still a little high, passed the test and was hired. You have to be pissing pretty much straight water, which means drink a gallon, piss once or twice, drink more, take the test.
bengie187
Member
Most oilfield companys(operating in canada) now ask for pre job drug screens.....and randoms at any time as well as if you have an "incident" And some of the places/labs doing the testing wont allow the urine to be clear/clearish.....and they also sometimes send your samples to a real testing facilty where they find traces of those masking agents(detox drinks).....so my only advice is stay clean for the next 3 weeks and hope like hell they dont call you in the mean time.....I've done 8 urine tests in the last 6 years and failed five of the 8 and i've used mutiple different of these socalled guaranteed drinks from my exp they only work if they do an on the spot litmus test........
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.LandOfTheHaze
Member
smoked everyday and i can piss clean in 2 weeks.
i was clean and i smoked thursday, friday, and a joint on sat. pissed clean on tuesday.
but thats just me.
i was clean and i smoked thursday, friday, and a joint on sat. pissed clean on tuesday.
but thats just me.
D
DJXXPLATINUM
HEY GOLDEN!!!i hear gnc has a good cleansing drink....but flooding the test lowers the amount of microns of metabolites from thc and thats what the tests measures!!!man eating the shit can stay in ya a month!!! good luck dj
TexasToker
Member
bengie187
Member
I dont know about the testing in the states but it usually depends the method of testing when it comes to the whizzanator......I used one and it came up with an anomoley in the test sample....If im remembering correctly it was a lack of Blood alelles in it.....The sample was tested on the spot with 2 separate 7 strip litmus dippers
BurmeseDragon
Member
It helps to know what kind of test, with a hair test that is a big problem and expensive. With a lab test, you gotta know the metabolite cut off......usually 50ng a ml but sometimes 10ng a ml.
Drinking water is simply to change the equation of how many metabolite particles per ml of fluid (urine). It's good to test yourself before going in so you don't drink to much water, but it always feels like to much water.
If it's a lab test, stock up on the red beef for creatine and salt also effects your specific gravity...they test gravity levels and creatine to see if you diluted if it does go to a lab.
I have taken around 20 drug tests and never railed. When smoking weed becomes a felony charge, ya gotta be paranoid (overly prepared).
Drinking water is simply to change the equation of how many metabolite particles per ml of fluid (urine). It's good to test yourself before going in so you don't drink to much water, but it always feels like to much water.
If it's a lab test, stock up on the red beef for creatine and salt also effects your specific gravity...they test gravity levels and creatine to see if you diluted if it does go to a lab.
I have taken around 20 drug tests and never railed. When smoking weed becomes a felony charge, ya gotta be paranoid (overly prepared).
G
growcodile
well if time is running out .. i would bet on a pee substitute over a cleansing ...
just make sure you dont get caught ..
just make sure you dont get caught ..
If by expert you mean on OJT (on the job training) and not science I can add some input. I agree with the above statement go to GNC tell them what you are looking for.
Some background: I have taken over 10 urinalysis tests in my years.
I personally like the type that recommends 48 hrs before taking the urinalysis. I am around 20lbs overweight which is 180lbs(small frame) and I exercise semi regularly. I have never failed and have even taken one in 24hrs. You have to follow the recommendations on the detoxifier that’s the key. I don’t care who you are if your going to get pissed (pun intended) about failing the test because you got high 2 hrs before drinking the detox then Fu that’s what I say its not the product its you.
Stop smoking before the test if possible and drink water, read the instructions, which usually call for a 24-48 hr detox, and you should be fine. People get caught because they get a surprise test. No such thing in my mind. It has happen twice in my life where the company(two different companies) I was working for said we are having a surprise drug test today. Both times I spoke to no one walked out and went to GNC. I called in to work said I was sick or my better half was sick or who the fuck cares just walk worry about it later. Lets say you get fired ( which wouldn’t happen they need a good reason) then at least you didn’t get fired for failing the test. NO BRAINER
Many times they have to set a special date up for you because you missed the initial test and now have more time. Even if it’s the next day you now have time to detox. Remember to take B vitamin or even better a multivitamin for yellow color. A pee with out color will be a retest.
PEACE
TexasToker
Member
^ Truth!!!
D
Deaner
Good advise here, esp. about the vitamin B to give the diluted urine color. Also, you should never piss in the cup with the beginning or end of your piss stream. Piss in the cup mid-stream! The most toxins are found at those points. Hope this helps!
Euphrates
Member
I've heard that, even at the time of your system being clean from not smoking for like say 4 or 5 weeks, that by working out, I don't know if its just lifting weights or working out in general, can releases thc stored in muscle and make your system dirty again. I've heard this before on the boards, only I can't explain it aswell.
I am sorry, I am really vague on the details. Basically, once you think your system is clean, I wouldn't work out to much before the test...
I am sorry, I am really vague on the details. Basically, once you think your system is clean, I wouldn't work out to much before the test...
D
Deaner
This is true. If you have several weeks to plan for a test, working out is good because it will burn fat cells containing THC. Though, I wouldn't work out within a week of a test.
I think because people are afraid of the unknown and they don’t try these detox drinks. I know I am sweating bullets every time I have to walk in to the little room. I have a family and a fairly good job so I understand what people feel like but I think the detox drinks get a bad name because of this unknown element but I have had nothing but good luck with them.
How about a couple of stories of how the whole urinalysis has changed over the years.
In the service people would drink vinegar and all kinds of shit. You would see a line of people whose name came up drinking any vial substance they could find on piss test day. I have no idea if any of it works but that was many many moons ago.
One time for a job I took my brothers clean piss and brought a digital thermometer in. I ran hot water over the cold piss until I got it up to the temp needed on the vial and I was a winner winner chicken dinner. You can’t do that anymore they watch.
One time I had to retake the test because my piss was too clear the next time I came in it was glowing in the fucking dark. The nurse looked at me and said why is it so yellow. I said, “I drank a bunch of water.” I don’t think it matters many people take a multivitamin so don’t let them scare you.
The last time was my 2nd "pop test" It had been so long since I had one I brought my old ass into GNC and said in a meek voice " I'm looking for the detox tea?" Back in the day it was a tea that you brewed. I felt embarrassed until the young guy (mid twenties) said, "Oh we have a few different types I know what you looking for." Again a little embarrassed I said (Keep in mind 50 yr old dude needs detox tea. May not sound humiliating to a 25yr old but when you're my age you feel like hey I do my fucking job what’s the deal.) "What one works the best?" I asked. He happily replied, " I have couple of friends who really like this one." GNC understands they love us stoners the stuff is $60 frog skins or more.
Ok here’s where it gets funny to me. I go to a one-room strip mall facility with a single bathroom and just one lady. Nothing else that’s it. What happened is that corporate America has these done by the millions so they have pushed the price and quality of the procedure so far down its like a back alley abortion (Hope I didn’t offend anyone).
I go into the bathroom and the lady says don’t flush or use the sink and leaves. No supervision nothing. In fact I cracked up because the guy right before me took a shit and she walks in and freaks, " What in the hell your not suppose to use this toilet for this!" Guy says, "I didn’t know you just said not to flush." Fucking most unscientific procedure I have ever seen in my life. If you failed any two bit ambulance chaser could have gotten you off.
PEACE and good luck.
How about a couple of stories of how the whole urinalysis has changed over the years.
In the service people would drink vinegar and all kinds of shit. You would see a line of people whose name came up drinking any vial substance they could find on piss test day. I have no idea if any of it works but that was many many moons ago.
One time for a job I took my brothers clean piss and brought a digital thermometer in. I ran hot water over the cold piss until I got it up to the temp needed on the vial and I was a winner winner chicken dinner. You can’t do that anymore they watch.
One time I had to retake the test because my piss was too clear the next time I came in it was glowing in the fucking dark. The nurse looked at me and said why is it so yellow. I said, “I drank a bunch of water.” I don’t think it matters many people take a multivitamin so don’t let them scare you.
The last time was my 2nd "pop test" It had been so long since I had one I brought my old ass into GNC and said in a meek voice " I'm looking for the detox tea?" Back in the day it was a tea that you brewed. I felt embarrassed until the young guy (mid twenties) said, "Oh we have a few different types I know what you looking for." Again a little embarrassed I said (Keep in mind 50 yr old dude needs detox tea. May not sound humiliating to a 25yr old but when you're my age you feel like hey I do my fucking job what’s the deal.) "What one works the best?" I asked. He happily replied, " I have couple of friends who really like this one." GNC understands they love us stoners the stuff is $60 frog skins or more.
Ok here’s where it gets funny to me. I go to a one-room strip mall facility with a single bathroom and just one lady. Nothing else that’s it. What happened is that corporate America has these done by the millions so they have pushed the price and quality of the procedure so far down its like a back alley abortion (Hope I didn’t offend anyone).
I go into the bathroom and the lady says don’t flush or use the sink and leaves. No supervision nothing. In fact I cracked up because the guy right before me took a shit and she walks in and freaks, " What in the hell your not suppose to use this toilet for this!" Guy says, "I didn’t know you just said not to flush." Fucking most unscientific procedure I have ever seen in my life. If you failed any two bit ambulance chaser could have gotten you off.
PEACE and good luck.
