Don't tell

[thirtyshort]

Everyone always talks about not telling a soul about what you are up to. However I'd like to get some opinions or feedback on what you guys really think on this. Say you grow for a living and have done so for years and have no plans on stopping for at least another 5-10 years. If you started dating a girl surely you wouldn't say shit, but assuming later on down the line you were to marry this girl. Now what? Would you keep living the lie or would you guys tell her?

 

[Lone Wolf]

you would have to start out small talk and see how she feels about it... then go from there.. thats what i did with my wife.... I started talking to her about a closet grow I had, then I started telling her about how i once grew over a hundred plants at once.. then i graduated to tell her about all of the money i made in the industry... if she understands you, feels safe, is very interested, and still loves you and treats you the same way, Oh, and be sure that she knows how to keep her mouth shut... THEN i think you can start assuming that you will marry her...

tread lightly though

 

[thirtyshort]

How big of an ass would I be if I just never told her? Honestly that's what I'm leaning towards lol.

 

[Lone Wolf]

How big of an ass would I be if I just never told her? Honestly that's what I'm leaning towards lol.

well if she is new to your life, then dont tell her just yet. tread lightly. living life in a constant lie is no way to live.

 

[henrydaniels]

How big of an ass would I be if I just never told her? Honestly that's what I'm leaning towards lol.

If she isn't down with it, your not an ass at all. I have read so many posts on this web site of people having fights with their girlfriends, and then the girlfriend calls the cops to rat them out...

its a tough choice.

 

[Sam the Caveman]

Its a tough decision to make. When to tell her.

Initially it will be tough hiding you income, especially if you don't have a job.

If you can pull that off, keeping her form seeing/hearing your grow in your home will be the next hurdle. If you can pull that off, her allowing you to leave the house for short periods alone to meet with people she doesn't need to know will be the hardest part assuming you haven't told up until this point.

It really depends on the girl for the most part. My attitudes about societal norms and life in general pre-disposition me toward being ok with this. If she sees things in a similar manner or warms up to my attitudes and finds them acceptable or more truthful than the norms, she will probably be ok to tell. Not immediately though, only if there is a sure fire chance she is "the one".

 

[whodi]

in my opinion you def should tell a girl before you marry her. That's a lot of risk to put on a family... at least make sure the girl is strong minded and independent if you're gonna hide it from her for as long as possible.

However, you should know what type of girl you want; and if not .. well don't get married until you do know or some girl shows you new ways in life.. you may fall so in love you might not wanna grow anymore... it all depends on what YOU want in life.

If you truly want a woman that is down for what you do and you wanna get married in life, then follow all the advice above from the other posters.

Oh, and try not to live with your girlfriend... so many people do it and i just can't do it myself. Keep your space. Make her understand. Show her the money. Live your life.

As far as casual dating and all, you def should keep quiet and never warm up to a girl until you feel like your both serious with each other... be patient.

 

[OjoRojo420]

3 years without GF and counting...

Most Women and Weed don't mix.
(Or find a Girl from here)

Yes, I am divorced

 

[whodi]

3 years without GF and counting...

Most Women and Weed don't mix.
(Or find a Girl from here)

Yes, I am divorced

Sorry for your losses, Ojo. or shall i say gains

Let's not generalize and say 'most women' ... a lot depends on the guy and his ability to charm and make the woman understand. Usually when 'women and weed don't mix' it's because a guy screwed his girl over pretty bad, or the guy didn't get with the right girl.. or okay okay, she turns out a psycho (but guys you gotta sense this)

All depends on the guy AND the type of girl... becareful.

 

[Mrs.Babba]

Does she puff???

 

[thirtyshort]

Ok well all good advice here. Dude I don't know what I'd do if there wasn't a place like this to turn to. Can't really ask shit like this to friends lol.

HenryDaniels I think all of us know of or have heard of someone getting screwed by an ex. Not just in this business but in any illegal business. I myself have a good friend who got busted growing because of some skank (don't get offended ladies i'm not generalizing this one really was/is one).

Sam the Caveman hiding income isn't all that hard for me. I like to save more than anything. Not trying to do this forever ya know? The not having a job part is not an issue either as I have good cover for that. Let's face it when you're doing this on a large scale it's more of job than anything else. It isn't like I sit on my ass all day. The only thing that would suck is having to explain leaving the house in the middle of the night to check on an alarm or getting that dreaded 3 am call from a caretaker that he's just been robbed.

Ojo I'm divorced too so that makes me REALLY want to not say shit. A cousin of mine once told me the only thing on her mind is the dick she's currently fucking. All my ex's have always told me things about some of their ex's so I have to assume had I told them shit about me the guy she's fucking now would know my shit too.

Oh and Mrs.Babba no she doesn't. I don't either but that's a whole different subject.

 

[OjoRojo420]

I hear ya bro'

My last GF told me that to the last one... women like the "bad guy".
She was like... "Man, good guys always finish last..."
The times I've been an asshole I get treated like a king.

Not my nature and frankly I'd rather save the money for a nice hooker that knows what the hell she is doing and have the decency to charge cash for services instead of years of your life.

Besides... I pay my hooker with Dank!

That's pimp shit!

OK... time to go to my happy place...

I still have hope ya know!

 

[alpinestar]

Telling a girlfriend is just as bad as telling a friend.

It would be a good idea to wait to tell her a little before, or right after you get married.
If she's smart, she will understand and possibly see it as a positive thing that you are so careful.

 

[ilovethewest]

im still small time with 15 flowering, in a small closet. the only thing im worried about is some jackass robbing me. i dont think any girl i know would have half a clue how to go about robbing a grow. and also every girl i know would have to be cool with what i do, otherwise i would not know her. if i thought there was a potential for a long term relationship, i would try to teach my girl what i could, not worrying at all. what could she do, call the cops, im legal. steal my plants, rip them up. not happening, room is locked. tell the next guy she fucks, big deal, that guy is not going to want to go fuck with her ex drug dealer boy friend who has unknown security. ya when your running a few grows or blowing something up that producing large scale, then why complicate things, but when its a dresser or closet, in a legal state, and she is a smoker, what is the worry? its just a bit of fun you both can appreciate. or am i wrong.

 

[OBK]

I think assuming down the road you might marry her might be presumptuous. Don't get ahead of yourself, and remember, when you are married, she can't be compelled to testify against you.

 

[BorkBorkBork]

3 years without GF and counting...

Most Women and Weed don't mix.
(Or find a Girl from here)

Yes, I am divorced

hi-five

 

[thirtyshort]

I think assuming down the road you might marry her might be presumptuous. Don't get ahead of yourself, and remember, when you are married, she can't be compelled to testify against you.

Well I don't think I'm being presumptous at all. I never said I just met her. When I mentioned about just starting to date a girl what I was saying is it's obvious you wouldn't say shit if you had just started dating. I'm asking because this is something that has been on my mind for a bit. The marriage thing is a more likely than not thing. I've heard that she can't be compelled to testify against me however a bad break up will do the job for the piggies and that is what worries me. I know some people would say that if I'm worried about the what if's of a bad break up then maybe we're not ready to move to the next step but that's not the case. You could say prenups are for people who don't think the marriage will make it. I think it's for those who plan for everything but still hope for the best.

 

[hkush]

NO, you don't tell her. The instant that you do, she tells two other people.

 

[Lord Doobie]

^^^ too true
don't tell her
I've never met a woman yet who could keep her big trap shut...(no offense ladies...but I'm sure you agree with me...LMAO)
you're playing with fire...

 

[SOTF420]

If you can't 100% trust her then she is not the right one.
They all will turn on you given enough reason to do so, fyi.