Drug testing question... talk me down man!

[noproblempablo]

So I have been a daily smoker for 5 or 6 years and I got wind that I was going to be potentially getting hired for a federal job that requires drug testing I assume via urine sample. On roughly October 25 I stopped smoking until I found out around November 15th that I wouldn't hear anything until January. I toked up a bowl and a gravity bonger on November 20th before hitting the Broken Lizard show (good shit) and then I smoked a couple bong rips Thanksgiving night and a bowl in between those two dates. So in the last month I have smoked 3 times total, twice it was a lot, once a little.

I just found out my test will be on Dec. 17th and I am wondering if that will be enough time to get my system clean. I am a bit of a chubby fucker but I have been losing weight the last month and drinking tons of water anyway. I've only taken a drug test twice in my life and passed it both times but I was not as heavy a smoker though I did burn a bowl the night before one of them and dropped two aspirin before my test. Can anybody give me an idea of what my chances are that everything comes out OK or how to increase my chances that it does? Danke!

 

[qwerty]

Be safe....whizzinator. (found on ebay)

 

[sparkjumper]

You have to drink a lot of water before going in and you should have plenty of time IMO

 

[noproblempablo]

Cool that's what I was thinking. I've been reading up on the dilution method and that seems liek my best bet. I figure I am probably OK considering I will have only smoked three time sin roughly two months when I take my test but hoping somebody has had a similar situation. As for the whizzinator, I'm broke! Santa would need to come early. Thanks for the replies, guys.

 

[KMK0420]

http://www.keepshooting.com/selfdefense/fake-urine/fake-urine-pass-drugtest.htm

works for me every single time

 

[KMK0420]

Buy Vitamin-B tablets.

1 hour before your test, eat a sandwich, drink 1 gallon of water and take a Vitamin-B pill.

This keeps your urine chemical levels in check, cause if you just drank 1 gallon and took the test...you'd be pissing constantly, clear.

The sandwich helps you absorb some of the water you are intaking, and the vitamin B pill gives you the yellow color in your piss. Some places will fail you simply because your piss was too clear.

 

[SpasticGramps]

THC metabolizes in fat cells, so if you are kind of a big boy and have been smoking daily for years you will need a month to be absolutely safe. Start sweating your ass off now and stop a week out before your test. Drink lots of water to hydrate the whole time you are sweating out and don't smoke. Or by a good whizzinator device. I have it from a good source that it works well. The person had a little inside help on getting through the process though.

F'ing sucks that you have deal with that. I feel your pain.

 

[steppinRazor]

You have to drink a lot of water before going in and you should have plenty of time IMO

not sure i fully understood this, but just incase i want to clarify that drinking alotta water hours before the test will let you pee clean, However you will piss nothing much besides water and the test will come up diluted either being considered a fail or need for a new test.

I'm a fruit pectin advocate, i and many people i know have passed those lab UA's with flying colors but its important to give your body a 48 hour break from cannabis. (not necessary but why not)
I've heard of one person failing using this method but its rare. and was most likely not done correctly
FACT: 99% of those "detox" "pee-clean" "ready-clean" drinks contain fruit pectin, its the secret ingredient the rest is just water packed fulla vitamins (which dont hurt)

sure fire safe way is that fake urine but depending on your situation may not be an option. labs test for heat of urine which requires heating pads, fake cock and fake piss. it gets pricey, and so do them "detox" concoctions.

just my 2 cents

if its that important, quiting for awhile is always a smart idea

 

[steppinRazor]

its about 4 US dollars. NEVER done me wrong. EVER

 

[Dr.Dank]

Buy Vitamin-B tablets.

1 hour before your test, eat a sandwich, drink 1 gallon of water and take a Vitamin-B pill.

This keeps your urine chemical levels in check, cause if you just drank 1 gallon and took the test...you'd be pissing constantly, clear.

The sandwich helps you absorb some of the water you are intaking, and the vitamin B pill gives you the yellow color in your piss. Some places will fail you simply because your piss was too clear.

great info right there thanks mate!
I seen kids pass the drug test and smoke the same day just by drinking a lot of water about a gallon but the vitamin B pill shittt now i'm ready for what ever.

they sell the synthetic urine that you can microwave for a sec or it has a heating pouch, it also has a thermostat on the bottle so you know your piss is hot enough they cost about $30-$35 bucks.
many friends used it with out a problem including my mom!

 

[good drown]

if its a federal job the tests might be more precise than others.i imagine they more than other companies would spend a few extra bucks on a good test. Also, depending on the security level of your job, they can do interviews with friends family, people from highschool and your neighbors. Its best not to lie, thats what they really care about. If you had to fill out a questionnaire about your past, don't lie and say you never smoked

 

[guest1ab]

its about 4 US dollars. NEVER done me wrong. EVER

Somebody needs to test this! (You know LEO is!)

 

[good drown]

Buy Vitamin-B tablets.

1 hour before your test, eat a sandwich, drink 1 gallon of water and take a Vitamin-B pill.

This keeps your urine chemical levels in check, cause if you just drank 1 gallon and took the test...you'd be pissing constantly, clear.

The sandwich helps you absorb some of the water you are intaking, and the vitamin B pill gives you the yellow color in your piss. Some places will fail you simply because your piss was too clear.

you cannot fail for clear pee. i pretty much only drink water, so its always clear. they test the creatine level. if thats low then it means you drank water all day. go buy creatine from gnc. yellow pee may prevent them from testing the creatine level, but any real lab tests every sample.

 

[Dr.Dank]

the fake urine was sent to a tsi test to a lab in some other state and took 2 weeks for results and it came back negative the fake urine is 100%.

 

[funkervogt]

I would do three things:

1. Continue losing weight as you are until a week before the test. During that week, pile up on fatty foods and gain weight. The drug signifiers metabolize in your fat, so the idea here is purge, then dilute.
   
2. Buy a self-test kit or two. Test yourself right up to the test to see if you can pass on your own. Test the first piss of the day, which is always the most potent.
   
3. Get some synthetic urine. I highly recommend QuickFix. If you can't pass the self-test, you might not test the real thing and synthetic urine is a definitive Plan B... It's some people's Plan A!

Good luck!

FV

EDIT: BTW, one of the big benefits of regular exercise for a cannabis user is that it speeds up your metabolism, and exchanges those calories more quickly. I now only smoke about twice a week, but a few months ago I smoked regularly and did pass a drug test within a week of abstinence.

 

[SpasticGramps]

if its a federal job the tests might be more precise than others.i imagine they more than other companies would spend a few extra bucks on a good test. Also, depending on the security level of your job, they can do interviews with friends family, people from highschool and your neighbors. Its best not to lie, thats what they really care about. If you had to fill out a questionnaire about your past, don't lie and say you never smoked

This is true. There are a lot of variables in Fed drug testing. The FBI and CIA sit you down for a polygraph. I think they would have run me out of the room. Ah, C'mon guys.

 

[Phillthy]

you CAN fail a test by drinking a lot of water before hand and taking a lot of vitamin b. they will say the test was too diluted and make you retake it at a later date. you can also fail if your (or someone elses) piss is too hot or too cold.

what they test for is actually stored in your fat cells. the more you exercise and the more fit you are the less time is stays in your system. 2 weeks to a month. if you are a heavy smoker or out of shape it can last 2 months in your system.