MJ making me depressed?

[Piel]

Hi,
I´ve been smoking medical weed for about a year (smoked in my teens but stayed off it for 30 years) and it´s really helped me with my chronic pain issues (osteoarthritis, neuropathíc pain etc) and enabled me to stay off opioids. I grow my own, mostly AF strains do to climate, and the quality is good.

At least as good as the stuff I tried in Adam last year.

So far all is good.

But I´m feeling a bit of a personality change ie I´m maybe more laid back than usual but I´m starting to find things I used to like don´t really grab me anymore. I go to work, smoke, chill etc but...

I also turned 50 a while back and it might be an age thing -never quite made the headlines with my band, didn´t go to grad school etc.

Any ideas?

 

[wheelchair]

You need a bit more excitement in your life, go travelling, at 50 you should look at retiring. Maybe take up a hobby, just make a change in your life for the better.

 

[roboto212]

I too found that when I was smoking more than I should have that my ambitions and interests wavered a bit. The only thing I can truly suggest and what I do now is first taking a month long break if you are able to manage with the chronic pain. This basically wipes the slate clean and gives a really energizing and refreshing feeling. Basically everyone is different and each person has a different body chemistry but the point of this break is to return to equilibrium, and for me that took a month. You will notice when you have reached equilibrium. I suggest eating healthy (fruits, veggies, healthy meats) for this break period and starting more aerobic exercise on a daily basis. For me running 2 miles a day and eating a minimum of 3 fruits a day really helped me.

Once you have reached that equilibrium you can start smoking again, but again, if the chronic pain permits I would only smoke once per day, either in the morning or at night. This will maintain a very low tolerance for an indefinite amount of time. I also found that the cannabis was useful more as tool for being refreshed and purified rather than weighing me down physically and mentally. Hope that helps

 

[Piel]

Thanks guys I appreciate the advice.

I guess I´ve always had a tendency to have bouts of depression but usually I´ve just soldiered on and after a few weeks it´s been OK again. I have a good job, nice family, great hobbies, I travel yearly 2-3 times, I take vacations and time off from work etc etc. I really shouldn´t be complaining.

I´ve been off the weed for three days now and nothing has changed yet, then again what changes in three days? I´m not a patient person but I´ll try to holdout for a week and then make a new assessment.

Wish I could exercise more, I should lose some weight, I eat well but I have munchies even without weed (LOL!). I love a glass of calvados and some beer in the evening...

I hate getting old though, I hate looking in the mirror wondering who that bald guy is, I hate going to concerts and kids think I´m a security guard, I hate not having a motorcycle anymore, I hate it when I can´t "pee a rainbow" anymore.

Sigh.

Wifey says I sound like an old geezer.

Let´s see how this develops.

Peace.

 

[wheelchair]

remember your only as old as you feel.

 

[Quiet_Riot]

From what you write, it sounds like you're in form of crisis, or, depression, but like you write, you don't find interests in the things you used to do, this is a sign of you needing to change something in your life. Do other..stuff maybe. hehe.. It's always easy giving advice, talk is cheap.
Try in your daily routine, to spot new, exiting things, maybe new ways of thinking, and going with that, not being anxious about "the unknown". Being open to the synchronisity of the universe and us being a matter from it, with it and in it. A new path in life has just opened for you, it may be hard to see just now, but maybe sometime?
peace

 

[Piel]

QR et al: I think crisis is the correst diagnosis but I´ll stay off the weed for awhile. I do gets these ideas that, at the moment, are really interesting like getting back into photography, doing more ethnic cooking but I always end the thought with: "But what´s the use?" Which sort of kills the inspiration.

I know I´m whining -which I detest- but bear with me and thanks for the support.

...sometimes I think I just need to find another strain of MJ to cure all ills!

And I miss the growing season. My supply of weed is all I can use for at least a year (I´m pretty good at this) and I can´t really start an indoor grow just for the hell of it ´cause living in a city...

 

[quest]

Went thru this, need a good sativa maybe?

 

[nomaad]

Traditionally your condition is treated with a fast convertible sports car and a girlfriend no older than you were when your band split up.

Sounds like the mid-life crisis... you will get through it. Do something you've never done before that doesn't seem like something you'd ever do... You seem to be occupied by all the good things, hobbies, family, etc (have grandkids yet?) so maybe you just need a little bit of something different, even in a short burst, to shake it up a bit. Ever tried MDMA? now may be a good time. if you are a nutural only guy, i would suggest psilicibin mushrooms. Dunno if you have tried any of these things in the past... just throwing out suggestions.

As for your cannabis intake, you may want to start edging slightly toward a more sativa hybrid...

I am a "happiness is a choice" guy. I know its hard to hear when you're unhappy and that depression is a real thing neurologically speaking... but remember that in the poorest and most primitive cultures, depression is almost non-existent. Its sort of a disease of the consumer class. Maybe change the way you consume and produce. Food gardening can be incredibly effective against depression. Also, charity work. Go feed some crackheads a hot meal once a week or, if you are not that compassionate (i probably couldn't stomach the crackhead thing) serve a hot meal to homeless families. This will provide perspective as well as build up the positive energy side of your balance. Good Karma in all its forms never hurts.

Anyhow... I'm just throwing ideas out there. I'm younger than you (35 and a family man) and don't suffer from chronic pain, so I'm not assuming I know what you are going through. I also don't know all that much about your lifestyle, so don't feel like I am making judgments based on my suggestions.

 

[harold]

i feel its part of growing up, shedding the past skin as you grow...

can i ask what you enjoyed that no longer interests you?

 

[harold]

dont take mdma! i know too many people that have mental problems after taking that chemical poison. Its a proven fact that amphetamine shrinks the brain! and damages serotonin receptors.

i think its normal to feel sorrow, its shows your a human being with a heart, who's conscious of the horror in the world. Just make sure your sorrow is constructive.

 

[Haps]

Life gets weird after 50, takes time to adjust, this is normal. Grow a nice sativa, like someone already mentioned. And...........a bowl of fibre one cereal every day will improve most aspects of life at that age.
H

 

[Piel]

I´ve thought about the car but I´d rather spend the money on travel, my wifes great so no need for a girlfriend and the kids -I hope to God- shouldn´t be reproducing for a few years.

I did acid once and that was enough, speed doesn´t really effect me much (ADD?) and sativas make me paranoid!

But this discussion is cheering me up, maybe it´s helping me see what´s good in my life.

I like the growing up/changing skin thought, I´ve tried to avoid growing up as much as possible but maybe it´s time to evolve?

One thing bringing me down is that a lot of friends have passed during the last years, most do to different cancers, and that puts things in perspective. I just had a long talk with a friend who´s going through "the change" and he has a lot of the same feelings even though he´s looking at different girlfriend options...I wish him luck in his search for sublime sexual intercourse!

 

[konstantgrdnr]

You need to look into Cognitive therapy I had a friend that experienced the same feelings. Your negative self conscious keeps distorting your reality.

 

[ItsAllOver]

GET ANOTHER MOTORCYCLE! lol
That was your mistake right there!
Take care man and know that all will be well given a little time and introspection!

 

[Quiet_Riot]

Something right about what konstantgrdnr suggest. The thought "But what´s the use?" surely does kill the spirit, because it's kind of wasted thought, you getting this good/great idea, but letting it pass either way, maybe you were busy with something at the given time or maybe you're standing in the way of yourself, because it's the "easier" "safer" way. It could be like a self-fulfilling prophecy, a vicious cycle.
But you should really do that cooking at least once or twice in the near future, maybe it'll make you feel very much alive and well again, doing something that inspires you, or just calms you down, enjoying whatever you're doing in the present.
Maybe that's stiring that bowl, skiping the pan, just watching it prepare itself... A little open-eye meditation...
When you're in the supermarket, grocery-shop ect, get some nice ingredients and stuff for some great cooking when you feel like it. It really is nice to cook... Foood.... All the different flavours to bring out and combine, as well as appereance. To create!
And maybe getting a nice Leica shooting some crispy pix, maybe of some indoor-girls? Shooting in the nature is a delight too. Very thereaputic. A growtent and a HPS is nice in the winter, I hear. If you got access to legal clones you should try Green Crack, Flo, Blueberry, Bubba Kush, Blue Dream, or whatever they can recommend for your ailments and getting some sweeta for that indoor haven of yours...
peace

 

[Chief Rbud]

i too get very depressed if i smoke indicas for prolonged periods of time. thats why i hardly ever smoke them. i think if you got a sat dom hybrid, like lp1, you will not experience the paranoia that comes from pure sativas. there are many sativas that make you happy and mellow at the same time without the paranoia, usually hybrids work best for this though. P.S. i agree with above poster, get another motorcycle for sure, and take your wife out for long rides and screw in the woods on the roadside like you probably did when you were younger. she and you both will love it!

 

[Piel]

Just got home from work, night shift bullshit and I´m getting too old for this but the benefits are good so...

Today I´ll chill, take the dog for a walk and maybe vape a bowel in the evening -depending on my level of pain. I guess I´ve been smoking more just to escape the everyday bullshit and in order to...just not to have to deal with stuff.

So laying of the weed would be a first step in confronting reality.

I´d love a new bike but then it comes down to if I crash they won´t be putting Humpty D back together again -too many spares in there already.

I hate turning 50 but I´ll have to deal with it or have an accident that would pay some insurance to the fam...that started out as a joke...

 

[!!!]

Yeah, sounds like depression. I feel like that from time to time and I'm in my 20s. Always feeling like time was wasted and it's now too late for this or that. I don't know if it's the weed, but I do feel that the weed makes me think about my life more, not necessarily in a bad way, but it makes me realize that there's a lot I've missed out on and/or fucked up in the past.

I'd second the MDMA suggestion, or shrooms (grow your own, good hobby.)

 

[medical_breeder]

get out take a vacation and enjoy life bro