Im 40 & I think I`m Gay or Bi-sexual.

[Wev]

OK i have thoughts inside for a long time. Now that I`m at a Turning point in the path of life it seems an open door of new adventure if i may say that without offending anyone and if this is the Wrong spot to spill my beans i say to you live and let live.
How does one come out to Family or at Least Adult Relatives. At this time in life it seems maybe it right to express oneself or maybe not. I don`t think my family would approve in anyway from one side and shrugged off for life is only option.
Is it best to keep it in and find myself somehow?
Thanks for anyone who understands.

 

[ArcticBlast]

well, i dont have any experience on this exact subject, per say... but my advice to you would be to figure out things before you drop a bomb like that on your family/friends...if you're unsure, you probably don't want to make an announcement just yet...

just a thought, good luck in finding whatever it is you're looking for

ArcticBlast

 

[TrichyTrichy]

look online for the gay & lesbian center in your city. They have meetings about this and other subjects.

 

[shawkmon]

everyone has a little freak in them, ya dont have to tell yer family, they already know,lol

 

[Strains]

uhm, well i had a family member come out, we all took it pretty good (my family is very open) but nobody in here is gonna have any knowledge on your family, perhaps thats something for you to think about, if i had such an overwhelming "thing" to tell mine, i would at least wait untill i was 1000% sure, bi/gay/whatever. I myself dont beleive in "sexuality's" only in love, the rest is something we(humans) made up!

Sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes!

 

[Mister Postman]

IF you feel uneasy around family because of this underlying "secret", or you feel u cant go on feeling untrue to yourself, and family then that's one thing. Other then that, your a 40yrs old man, and can do whatever it is that makes u happy in life.. When your 100% sure and finally meet the man/woman you'd like to settle down with, and want them to be included to some extent with your family, then u can cross those bridges then.

As you said, live, and let live.. If you feel it's going to cause issues within the fam with them knowing, well then dont tell them.. At 40yrs old It's really none of their business anymore.. You live your life, they live theirs, and u meet up in the middle for the holidays on good terms

In the end No one knows your family better then you do. I just know that for myself, I'd hate to be dissowned or thought differently at age 40 by my now eldery parents for something that I've dealt with most likely since puberty...

Good luck in what ever u choose.

 

[Hughesy]

wow man what a post! i hope you find what you are looking for. In time and make the correct choices.

 

[ureapwhatusow]

shortly before she passed my mom shared with me that after years of torrid abuse from my dad she only enjoyed the company of women, but did not maintain formal relationships in fear my brother would ostracize her and keep her form his children

It is one of those biases that is so much like the bias we get as marijuana users

i don't want people to smoke pot cause it makes me feel good I just dont want them to judge me for doing it

i dont know how to answer you, but i know that for me being a pot smoker threatens my liberty and freedom, and the constant fear of being me sucks fucking horribly and im sure it pales in comparison to the bias homosexuals get

funny story with my mom, she trusted me cause i am understanding

but i did the same with her shortly before

i tried to out myself as a smoker,to my mom, the same mom who after year in patient and being diagnosed with a "bottomless depression" was told in 6 months I would dead or permanently institutionalized

After struggling with seemingly insurmountable challenges and 10 years in psychiatrist care I finally found somehting that worked.. and it wasnt killing my body like the pysch meds

i was on my own married with kids successful and after i told her she set me up for an intervention and was getting CPS involved ect

she died shortly thereafter of cancer, always feeling she failed, when i had in reality found what was meant for me

in the end im glad she knew who i was regardless of her reaction but she didnt live long enough for it to be a difficulty in our relationship

and even after all of this, if my kids told me they were gay it i dont know if i could say it wouldn't bother me

not because i have a bias against gays but in my heart of heart, the real meaning of my life is to see my seed multiply and prosper

and to be honest its times like these that i like to think about starving African who don't even get old enough to make these decisions to make it seem like less of shit sandwich in the grand scheme of things

good luck

 

[resinryder]

Not a problem if you are gay. Would advise you to find out before outing yourself to family and friends tho. No need to drop that bomb and then go back and say, no I'm not. Think about it a bit longer then go out and get you some wiener if that's what you really feel is the path you must take to be happy with YOURSELF. If man love is what does it for you then come flying outta the closet like a man on fire.

 

[habeeb]

first, you can't care what your "family" thinks, if they don't like because you like something, well let it be, then you shouldn't be around people that don't support you..

you need to live your life the way you want. not living it they way you want can lead to depression, and feelings of guilt, and all sorts of bad stuff.. be free with who you are, you shouldn't have to feel like hiding something that is apart of your life..

well, good luck, with whatever you do, and remember, life is about having fun, and you might only get one round, how do you want to spend it?

 

[Haps]

Do what is right for you, but for the most part other folks really do not want to know your business. what possible good could come from it? Do you just need the release? Good luck either way.

 

[psbn]

wev..brave post respect for that..straight/gay/bi we all deserve to be walking around with our heads held high and an abundance of pride for who we are NOW..life changes minute to minute and theres no time to remind yourself of the negative energies lurking in the rear view mirror..look forward be who you be..stay true to YOU peace wev enjoy your lives

 

[Guest50138]

Wev.i carnt say more than what the good people who have chimed in on this
thread have already said,most parents first thoughts are going to be "shit no grandchildren" but at the end of the day Love for your kids and wanting to see them happy is going to be what counts,Trichys surgestion (look online for the gay & lesbian center in your city. They have meetings about this and other subjects) is solid, follow through and speak to a councelor who deals with this stuff daily,sometimes its hard to see the forest for the trees,speaking to clinical psychologist have helped me dig my way out of some pretty bleak shit in the past. this link may help. Respect Oldman
www.glcsnsw.org.au/
Oh and thanks to the mod for keeping the trolls outa this.Peace All

 

[zenoonez]

There is nothing worse than looking back and wishing you had done something differently. If you have the chance to live the life you want to live go for it. But like others have said, make sure you know it is what you want before you drop the bomb on your family.

 

[jack DA reaper]

If things dont work out with the fam..Ehh just go home and take it out on your homeys Anus

 

[Huggie bear]

Might want to consider testing out the waters before alarming family and friends.
If you happen to be Bi or gay then let them know but if it is just a curiosity that turns out to be nasty then you would have raised the flag for no reason.

 

[bromhexine]

what happened to sexual privacy? next you'll want to tell your family what kind of porn you watch and how often you masturbate. ones sexuality and sexual desires should be between themself and their victim

 

[Sleepy]

be honest with yourself first.

if family and friends don't understand, dump 'em.

you are you. don't change for anyone.

nothing to feel guilty or ashamed of, either.

peace.

 

[zenoonez]

what happened to sexual privacy? next you'll want to tell your family what kind of porn you watch and how often you masturbate. ones sexuality and sexual desires should be between themself and their victim

Are you kidding me? He is talking about his family. Maybe you have a wife secret from your family but most people feel that there life partner is joining their family and they are joining their partner's. Between themselves and their victim? What are you a rapist?

 

[dkmonk]

Well easy way to find out if your gay or w/e (i am guessing your a male) is when you masturbate do you vision men and penis' and having sex w/ men or do you fantasize about women.

If you fantasize about both which one do you lean more towards when fantasizing.