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yortbogey

To Have More ... Desire Less
Veteran
You don't have to own a cat to appreciate this one! You don't even have to like 'em!

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we put out in the back yard, scoots back into the front door. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird..... My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit.

Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, 'He's just going upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother.'

A few minutes later, I get into the cab. 'Sorry I took so long,' I said, as we drove away. 'That stupid b!tch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me... But it worked! I hauled her fat a ss downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!

The cab driver hit a parked car.
 

happyherb

no wuckin furries!
Veteran
hahahaha that cracked me up more and more sentence by sentence after "you" got back in the car...

was that something you found?...or true...if true thats even more of a laugh ...good one.HH. =]-~
 

armedoldhippy

Well-known member
Veteran
tossing the cat...

tossing the cat...

man, i can just SEE the ol' b##ch flying out into the back yard, cool story! :laughing: if it aint true, it oughta be...
 

facelift

This is the money you could be saving if you grow
Veteran
Very Nice!

In A Predicament:

I bought my nephews wife a Victoria's Secret gift card. They've only been married a year. I accidentally compared my sister to my nephews' wife. I instantly thought of off hand comments, like oh, so now I'm a fuckin' pervert. I was only thinking of her.

Then I had to get my sister's boyfriend a gift and thinking of my sister, I had to find something. Victoria's Secret just didn't fit, and Frederick's Of Hollywood made me cringe, and then it hit me. A Sears Card.
 
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