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My Wife, I Hate Her.

A

alpinestar

good luck

good luck

if youre planning divorce, move as much of your valuable stuff and funds (within reason or that which she wont notice or doesnt know about) to a family member now before you have even gotten into the divorce

get a lawyer without her knowing and start going over everything
find a way to prove she is unstable
with the crazy things she does it might be easy to get an evaluation that says she is psychotic or borderline
you could use that in court

maybe you could have a mental eval done on her before divorce proceedings..... tell her you think she SHOULD start see a psychiatrist because you are worried about how stressed she has been. - not how stressed she looks (that makes it easier for her to dismiss it), but how stressed she IS. you will be showing "concern" and at the same time be getting her sent to the doctor...
 
I

IE2KS_KUSH

Man she just does not quit.
Today, she is following me around, asking me when I am going to stop being hateful etc...because I just refuse to look at her or speak to her. I finally told her to leave me alone, don't speak to me, and just stay away. I told her she will not ever again threaten me or have anything to hold over my head, and that last night was the last time that will ever happen. She asked me what I meant, I simply told her that when we can, we need to file for divorce, and that in the mean time she should make other living arrangements and we should go ahead and start to separate until we can make it offical. Then I left.

Upon returning, she informed me that she had a "talk" w/ my son, and asked him, "what do you want, do you want your mom and dad to live in 2 different places, and you can have 2 houses to live in, or what?"
Of course he told her that he wants our whole family together forever in the same house, and then she went on to tell him, "well that's not what your dad wants to do so we will see it's all up to him."
She literally told me that conversation just now when I came back from my errand.
I hate this fucking bitch.
I told her I don't care what she says to my son, and that I know my son even if he doesn't understand now, will eventually. And that this shit is obviously not good for him to be around every day.
She then starting pulling shit out her ass and arguing again. No matter how many times I told her to go fuck herself and that I didn't want to hear what she had to say, she just kept on. Finally she left.
I think that she thinks that I am not gonna do this. She is going to be in for a rude awakening. She did say that she wants to make it work, I simply told her that I cannot fathom how it's going to work w/ someone that threatens to call the cops on me everytime she doesn't get her way, or w/ someone that threatens to leave and take my son from me. I told her that I cannot make it work w/ someone that tries at every turn to sabotage or take every single thing from me that makes me happy, and the bottom line is that if I cannot be happy, then I can't make my son happy. She has never ever, been supportive in any way of anything that I have done whether it was my previous career, growing, etc...
I told her, I am done.

It's going to be a long slow process I know this, but I feel very good knowing that I have some clear direction, and that for once, I am calling the shots, and that soon, she will have no say so in my life.

I don't know if it hit home, I suspect that it did not. Maybe a month after everything is done, it will, and then she will realize how big of a fuck up she is. But hell, maybe she will never see it. Either way, I don't care. She just showed me again today, that what I am doing is the right thing to do.
 

m0ff99

Active member
IMHO your doing the right thing by your son man, you need to keep your confidence high cos it can go pretty quickly if you start having doubts. This IS the right thing to do based on what you've shared with us so kick back with a spliff or bowl or whatever safe in the knowledge at least YOUR gonna sort this shit out even if she's too spineless to stand up and say its never gonna work. Karma to you bro, and get to your lawyer before she gets to hers,balls rolling then.Good luck man and whatever happens you fight for that little man, he'll always love his dad!!

PEACE!!
 
M

masterKahn

parents often use children as pawns in a game they have no business being involved in. The best you can do is mitigate the damage and be the best father you can be.
 

JJScorpio

Thunderstruck
ICMag Donor
Veteran
No matter what she does, don't call her anymore names. Your son will hear this and think it's what is supposed to be.

For the hell of it, try treating her with respect for a while. Especially in front of your son. Comment something positive to her when she does something that isn't hurtful and see how she responds. Niceness can be contagious, and these are things your son should see, regardless of the outcome. You should also politely ask her not to ask your son these questions as she's been doing.

Have you considered counseling? Even if it doesn't work, you both can learn how to be civil in front of your son if there is a divorce..... Hey......You never know....
 
IE2KS_KUSH,


2 years ago I got out of a VERY bad marriage. kinda sounds alot like yours o be honest! I have 2 girls 13 and 8 who were devistated that we split. My ex has FINALLY stopped taling shit about me ONLY AFTER a family therapist called her out on it.

I wanted nothing more than to KILL her by my own hand also!! but I didnt! of course!

My only advice is to........

DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT!!!!!! Any phycotic broad WILL do some stupid shit. DOCUMENT EERYTHING!!!! the banging on the bathroom door, spitting, talking in front of your son.

EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!! even the little stupid shit! forgot to lock the front door! NOT SAFE FR YOUR SON!

It takes ALOT for a father to prove an unfit mother. Took me 2 years of documneting EVERY email, notes on every phone call, every drop off.

This is for your son!! DONT STOP! my girls took 1.5 years to see the bitterness in thier mom. They were able to see through the ALIENATION only after they started seeing e GAIN time through the courts.

None of this would have been possible without documentation!!!

US dads tend to get the bad wrap! STAY COOL, CALM, and COLLECTED!!!! Your son will see and appreciate this as he grows older.

Dont speak her name in his presence unless absolutely necessary.

Good Luck! Keep your head for your SON!!!!
 
G

grasspass

Wish you well. There is good women out there. I have been married over 20 years. If I didn't believe in God , I would worship my wife . The woman is like a Goddess.
 

growlegal

Well-known member
Veteran
No matter what she does, don't call her anymore names. Your son will hear this and think it's what is supposed to be.

For the hell of it, try treating her with respect for a while. Especially in front of your son. Comment something positive to her when she does something that isn't hurtful and see how she responds. Niceness can be contagious, and these are things your son should see, regardless of the outcome. You should also politely ask her not to ask your son these questions as she's been doing.

Have you considered counseling? Even if it doesn't work, you both can learn how to be civil in front of your son if there is a divorce..... Hey......You never know....

Ok,
I read the entire post and this was the response that most went to the heart of the issue. You are a Supermoderator

I don't care if she makes your skin crawl, you love your Son?
She is and always be that little man's, MOM.

Show her respect and it will teach him the same.

Good luck in whatever you decide.
 

Solidopc

Active member
All the more reason to post nekkid pics of her on the internet:yeahthats

I lol'd!

Gutted for you man. I argue with my mrs quite bad sometimes, and a few times i've felt like i have to get out, and need to be away from her. But allways feel different after a good sleep, and things have calmed down. I'm not looking forward to the day they don't if that happens. But better to be happy with your iife than live in misery. Take care dude, peace.
 

BudGood

"Be shapeless, formless, like water..."
Veteran
Kush, she sounds alot like my recent ex. Manipulative, hateful, just not a nice person at all. I went to jail once because I didn't say goodbye to her how she wanted, she threatened to call the cops, I asked her for what, she said she would think of something, I laughed, she threw herself on the ground, I went to jail. A good lawyer got the court to see she was full of shit, thousands later.

The thing with your son is just shitty, and shows what shes going to be doing to try and keep you or get you back. As one guy said, DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. Write it down in a journal damn near as soon as it happens, while it's fresh. It'll help you to calm down a bit as well. Especially stuff that involves your son directly, as thats whats the most important to any judge that you come in front of regarding your son.

The idea to sell your stuff in a fake sale was a top notch idea, kudos to JJ for that one, as well as staying clean, as much as I'm sure you could really use a nice joint. Everything you're doing now is to focus on minimizing the potential damage to your child. Go talk to a child psychiatrist, go to fathers advocacy meetings, take all this great advice from people who care about our pot smoking brethren! You do call the shots, time to make all the right ones. Don't badmouth her to your son or in front of him ever. He'll understand whats up as he gets older.

A happy, well adjusted, loving child can come out of a broken home. It's really up to you as his father, and as the saner, more mature one in the relationship to make sure that happens. We're all here for ya bro! :wave:
 
Have you considered counseling? Even if it doesn't work, you both can learn how to be civil in front of your son if there is a divorce..... Hey......You never know....

JJ makes a great point!

My ex and I were ordered by the court to undergo Co-parenting counseling to help with our comunication.

I was totally against it as I thought THERE IS NO WAY THIS BITCH IS GUNNA CHANGE!!

but to be honest........ I think that was the turning point. the theripist laid it out to my ex how much I do and care for my girls and the way she was acting was destroying them. I think the unbiased "mediator" is a GREAT thing to think about.

maybe not now but when you think you are calm enough to discuss your grievences.

PLUS if you ask the courts to order somthing like this it looks better on YOU. YOU are trying for your son.

Think about it! My girls have really come around the last 4 months since completeting the co-parentin classes.

Take care!!
 

billy_big_bud!

Proud Cannadian Cannabist
Veteran
Hi this is Billys wife....
I just read your post. Im very sorry for the troubles you are going through.
Is she ever nice at all?
Keep burnin.....
 

DiscoBiscuit

weed fiend
Veteran
IE, I hope things work out for the best. Don't wait until the last minute to realize you have to move quick. Secure your digs a few weeks ahead of time if possible. That way if the last few weeks with her get worse than anticipated, you've got plans at the ready.
 
K

ka0tik_kreati0n

I cant believe I read all that. 5 minutes out of my time gone....
 
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