R
randude101
I remember laughing a lot and at lot of goofy shit.
i was with my friend joe. joe smoked cigarettes and always tried to persuade me to share his habit. i would decline, health reasons. he'd shrug and puff away. we'd sit on his back deck and flap our jibs, talking about bullshit. girls, mostly. even though i liked boys, we'd talk about the girls he lied about fucking.
being 12, we did shit 12 year olds did while we dreamt about graduating into teenager status. we rode our bikes around, we lit shit on fire, we fucked up a lot.
sitting on a busted up exercise bike, joe was puffing away on a handrolled cigarette. he had more energy in his trademark smirk. i knew what was coming. he didn't preface it with any bullshit. he just straight up asked me, as straight as always: "you want a hit?" no, i'd say. no thanks. health reasons. "no", he said. it's not tobacco, as he explained, instead it was weed. i'd heard about it of course. i knew what weed was. it never occured to me that it was entirely possible for me to try it, so i never gave it much more than a fleeting consideration.
i didn't hesitate. i probably acted a little more courageous than i ever had been. sure, i said. so, just like a normal cigarette? i immediately wondered why i had asked, considering i never smoked. sure, he said. just like a cig. i puffed, not really inhaling. i blew out the smoke i had in my mouth in cloudy blue plumes. i thought i did well, joe probably didn't hit the shit right either.
we traded like that a few more times before the joint was just a weak roach. he flicked it into a neglected garden and picked up a freshly rolled joint that had been waiting patiently on the wooden rail. brilliant! i didn't know if i was high. i didn't have anything to compare to being sober, so i figured i must be high. i probably forced a giggle, and i felt silly and it embarrassed me. i just wanted to keep smoking.
he lit the second joint and this time i really put my best foot forward. i attacked it with as much energy as my mouth could manage. i breathed in deeply, like i was trying to get a lung full of air to practice holding my breath. this time it burned the membranes of my throat, my lungs felt fiery, and i blew the smoke out, coughing. my eyes watered and i didn't like it. i thought, wow. joe chuckled and said something about that "being it". the joint didn't last as long, and joe let me finish it. each time i took as deep a hit as i could manage. he told me to hold it in as long as i could. back then, i figured it was sound enough advice, joe having seniority in the matter.
i started to notice some subtle changes. my mouth was very dry, and even though i had drank water, i still made slick clicking noises when i talked, because my saliva was turning into something more foam than water. my body felt different, and i felt like if i laid down in the grass i'd feel weightless. i liked that. my brain felt like it was buzzing, and i felt like i could FEEL my brain. it was strange. we went inside and watched Iron Chef, and i grabbed a bowl of freezer burnt cosmopolitan ice cream on joe's good wishes, under the condition i also fetch him a bowl.
i ate the ice cream, which still did not taste good, and watched the television. i sat in a recliner and began to worry about going home. it didn't occur to me that my mother would be home shortly. everyday the routine was meet-up at the corner of my street, and joe's street. we'd walk the 2-3 minute walk to the school down the road, and after our classes together we would walk home and hang out at his house, and i would leave and be home before my mother arrived. i didn't know how long i would be high, and i assumed it might be all night. i panicked a little, and asked if i could spend the night. my plan was to call my mom, and tell her i was staying over. joe wasn't cool with that, he wanted to go beat-off before his mom got home. i thought it was gross he told me that, but still respected his domain and i got a headstart on getting home.
it was overcast and dreary. the sky was grey and didn't change color as far as i could see, only faint lines textured the sky revealing that it was more than just empty space. the wind blew and made a marvelous noise. it was strong, but it wasn't a biting, nipping wind. it felt good on my face and blew my hair and clothes back. i felt strong, not being blown back too. i rounded my corner and hoped i wouldn't see my moms car. i did. she'd gotten home early, or i had lost track of time. i noticed my heart beating very quickly and wondered if she'd notice i was different.
i walked in the door and saw my moms boyfriend watching television. "hey, cory!" i said hey, nothing out of the ordinary. he returned to watching television and cleaning a keyboard on the coffee table. my mom was in the kitchen, making jell-o pudding or something. i told her, briefly, i had just gotten back from joes. she said she figured, and that if i didnt' clean my room or at least pick up my laundry, she was going to spit in my jell-o. i laughed, and so did she. she said, no really hon, please do something with your side of the room. (i had shared a room with my younger brother. a few years ago i traded having my own bedroom for a gigantic box of legos with my other brother. bad deal in hindsight. oh well.) i said ok, and went into my room. i undressed to my shorts, laid in bed and got under the covers. i felt good, but not really crazy. i calmed down and a let a smile pass over my face for a few seconds. i listened to a favorite CD, turned over on my side, and took a nap.
later that night, i had some jell-o pudding, and it was good.
Man am I the only young person who has a fuzzy idea about the EXACT age they were when they started?
I remember the place, the people and the method... but I don't know for sure if I was 12 or 13. It was my first (yes, first) year of 8th grade and the people I hung out with were your typical stoners later in life. I had a rather fat friend named Joe who lived basically a 3 min walk away, if that. If there wasn't another couple rows of houses and trees in between my house and his I could easily see him if we were both standing on our front steps. We also lived within walking distance to school, seriously a 5 minute walk from my house. So I'd always walk home with Joe and go to his house to hang out, he was an only child and his mom got home way later than mine so his house was a "safe haven" for a pretty good amount of time so we could do the stupid shit we did. Like cooking stupid shit we found in the kitchen or whatever our bored minds could fathom that would probably land Joe in some serious shit if his parents were around. I remember that when we hung out on his back deck he would smoke cigarettes and I always declined. My mom smokes and I hate it, so I wanted nothing to do with it. I think the way it occurred was he was sitting on this exercise bike his mom had on the back deck and he was smoking as per usual. However it wasn't a cigarette, it was a very shittily rolled joint. I doubt it was actually rolling papers, probably spliced cigarette papers or something. I don't know. Anyways, he asked me if I wanted to smoke like he usually does. Sort of jokingly trying to peer pressure me into it. He tells me its weed and my perspective changes, this might be something I want to try. I'm a little nervous and I've never done drugs before and after all the anti-drug propaganda I've seen I don't know if I should. Joe gets the best of me in the end and we puff on the turd joint until it dies and dispose of the evidence. I didn't quite feel too high but I'm pretty sure I was buzzing something good.
It wasn't too bad and it felt like something I would want to do more of.
I remember the first time I got STONED it was in the woods near my neighborhood, where a neighbor or maybe some other kids had drug a sectional couch into a cleared out section in the woods. You couldn't quite see us from the road or back yards but if you came in just a little bit you could definitely hear us, but it was otherwise "safe".
It was a very surreal environment. The "veteran" smoker amongst us was this kid named Nick who I met at school. He had this grandfather style pipe that I hadn't smoked before. He also had a little bubbler that now that I think of it I don't know if it was home made or not. Long story short, it was one of the happiest moments of my life.
That was the day I stopped believing the man.